Disclaimer: I don't own anything of OR from Escaflowne.......
Dedicatioin: To all who read, love, and review. And also to Taemyr....keep writing....*giggles*....


~*~Chapter 3~*~

~*~Confessions~*~

Van was standing on his balcony when he first spotted the column of light dropping from the sky. He couldn't believe it. He couldn't move or breath. He slammed his fist against his chest and mumbled lightly, " Breathe Fanel....breath "

He then turned and took off out of his room. He turned a corner and collided with Keldorn. He stumbled back, banging up against a wall. Keldorn looked at him, " Sire? What's the me - "

Van cut him off, " Wait here! Don't go anywhere! ".

" Why? "

" She's back! ", was all he said as he took off down the hall at full speed. He ran out a side door and headed towards the stables where the horses were kept. He quickly mounted it and cried, " Hyah! ", as he dug his heels into it's sides.

The horse took off at full speed towards the front gates. As they opened he practically flew by the guards that looked at him questioningly. He raced through the little city and still growing of Fanelia towards the fields. When he arrived, he jumped down from the horse and tied it to a tree nearby. He cautiously walked over to the slender figure laying on the grass. Her long light brown hair was thrown over her face in a hastily manner and Van crouched down to brush it away.
His breath caught in his throat and he managed to croak lightly.

" H-hitomi? "

He reached down and traced her cheekbone tenderly. She moaned lightly and her eyes fluttered open. She stared up at him, " I-it's you! ", she cried. " Who are you? "

Van looked at her in confusion, " What are you talking about? It's me...Van. "

She looked into his reddish-brown eyes and gasped as she stood up quickly, not caring if she were bare footed or not. She began to back away shaking her head, ' I've seen those eyes before...but whe - ', she gasped loudly. " You're the man from my dream....t-the angel? "

Van frowned as he stood up and approached her with an outstretched hand, " Hitomi...what are you saying? We've met before..."

She shook her head, " No....we haven't! I've never seen you in my entire life. "

Van flinched and turned his head to the side as if she had reached out and struck him, " I see. So...you want to play games now, huh Hitomi? "

She looked at him, ' I've seen him before...but where? When? ', that's when it dawned on her. " The kitchen! ", she gasped.

" What? Hitomi! Look at me and tell me....what do you see? ", he pleaded in a firm voice.

She looked at him and knitted her brows together in concentration as she racked her mind for any memories of him that she had stored away, " I...I see someone that I....don't know...I've never met you before..."

His jaw fell open and his eyes filled with pain, " What are you saying? Are you saying you don't remember me at all? "

She nodded, " Mmm-hmm..", she looked around. " where am I? "

He growled under his breath. He then reached up and tore the pendent from his neck. He outstretched his hand and the pendant hung from his fingers . Hitomi swallowed, " Where'd you get that? That's my..."

He cut in," Grandmother's? I know "

She gasped, " How'd you know? "

" Because, the day you left Gaea, you gave it to me, and I made a promise to you. Do you remember that? ".

She shook her head, " I-I'm sorry, I don't. "

Van frowned, " Strange...why not? Why can't you remember anything about your time here on Gaea, or in Fanelia? "

She shrugged. She eyed the pendant with curious eyes. Then, almost as if commanded to by an unknown voice, she outstretched her hand and placed it directly underneath the swinging pendant. Van frowned and he lowered his hand onto hers. He held onto her hand and slowly slid his hand up her forearm until he was holding her elbow. He then pulled her into his strong arms.

Hitomi gasped, ' I...I know this. but from where? '

She frowned but didn't make any attempt to move away from him. ' This feels so right...but why? '.

She whispered in a shaky voice, " What the? This....is familiar. But why? "

He was grateful to have her in his arms. To feel her body pressed so close to his. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and whispered back as he stroked her long hair, " that's because it's happened before..."

She nodded, " I...I know "

" Then why can't you remember me? "

She shrugged uncomfortably, " I-I...don't really know. "

" Do you want to explain to me why you don't remember me? "

She shrugged again. This time she pulled away from him. She wrapped her own arms around her body, suddenly feeling naked without him. She looked up at him and swallowed, " I...what was your name again? ".

" Van..."

" Van...", she stopped and looked into his eyes. " Van? "

He nodded, ' Please remember...oh please! ', he pleaded silently as his eyes searched her face.

" Van...I'm sorry that I don't....remember you. But I feel as if I've been here before...you're the angel from my dreams aren't you? "

He felt his heart sink. He shrugged, " I don't know...you tell me "

She swallowed and shook her head. A light breeze quickly whipped past them and she she shivered. Van frowned as he studied her closely, " Would you like to go to me castle? "

" C-castle? "

" mm-hmm "

She knitted her brows in concentration, " You wouldn't happen to be the...King of Fanelia, now would you? ".

" So you remember that? ", his hopes raised just a notch.

She nodded slowly as if uncertain, " Yes...I believe I do "

Van nodded, " Hitomi? How have you honestly been for the past ten years? "

Her eyebrows shot up in shock, " Did you just say ten years? "

He nodded. She took a step back and almost stumbled but Van's arms encircled her waist. He pulled her up and she blushed ferociously as he didn't let her go, " Ten years since when? "

" Since you've been here...."

" Since?! I've been here? How? "

" The same way you just arrived now...through a column of light. ", he informed her as he slowly pulled his arms from her waist.

" Seriously? "

" Hitomi, I'd never lie to you. Never! ".

She nodded, " Alright...", she blushed again as she heard her stomach rumble loudly. " Um...I'm kind of hungry. Could we...? "

" Go to my home? Of course. "

She smiled lightly and he noticed that there was no twinkle in her eyes. He sighed as he helped her onto the horse. He climbed up after her and was surprised to have her lean up against him. He slid his arms around her tiny waist to grip the reins. He heard a quiet sigh escape her lips and he frowned, " What's wrong? "

She shook her head, " nothing...this just feels...right, like I've done it before, and not with Greig. "

" Greig? Who's Greig? ", he lifted an eyebrow and stiffened.

She blushed, " Uh, Greig is...or he was my husband. He died in a plane crash with me as the passenger. I made it out alive with Tony. "

" Who's Tony? "

" My baby boy. He's four years old and as cute as the devil himself. "

His heart constricted with pain," I see...", he replied quietly.

" What's wrong? ", she asked with her voice full of concern.

" huh? Oh..nothing. ", he answered gruffly, his voice full of unknown emotions.

She frowned, " If you say so....".

They rode in silence to the castle. When they arrived, Keldorn greeted them with an agitated Merle at his side, " Lord Van!! "

Hitomi had fallen asleep against him on the way home. He frowned as he debated on how he would move her without waking her. He slipped arm around her waist and held her to him as they slid off together. As his feet touched the ground, he slipped an arm underneath her knees and cradled her to his chest. The swell of her breast pressed up against his chest and he felt his breath quicken slilghtly.

" Shh! Lady Merle please! ", Keldorn whispered harshly.

" Thank you Keldorn. ".

" Anytime Sire. "

Merle frowned and stuck out her tongue at his back. She looked at the girl in his arms and gasped, unable to hide her excitement, " Lord Van! It's...Hitomi! "

He nodded and said grimly, " So it is...."

" What's wrong? I thought you wanted her to be here with you? "

He shrugged, " That's what I thought I wanted...."

Merle's jaw dropped so far that it almost touched the ground, " Why not?", she cried. " You finally have her here, and now you don't want her here anymore..."

Van shrugged again, " I'd like to put her in a guestroom now...".

Merle and Keldorn nodded. He nodded back and left them alone to talk about Hitomi. He quickly and quietly slipped into the castle. A couple of guards glanced over and watched in confusion as Van carried Hitomi to a guestroom that was three halls down from his own room. He opened the door and walked over to the large king size bed. He gently laid her down and watched her for a few minutes.

He watched the rise and fall of her chest with every breath, the way her long lashes fluttered every now and then. he smiled to himself and reached down. His hand covered the side of her face and he gently caressed her full bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. ' How could she not remember? It just doesn't make any sense. I wonder if she sees Allen tomorrow, she'll be the same? ', he thought in bitterness as he pulled his hand from her face.

He walked to the door and left the room hurting because she couldn't remember him or even being on Gaea, or being in Fanelia. He sighed loudly and walked down the hall with his hands shoved in his pockets, his back hunched.

***

Allen whistled a lullybye that he just had to sing to Marianne as he walked back to his own room. He immediately stopped whistling as he spotted Van walking slowly and lost down the hall, " Van! What's the matter? Why so glum? "

Van looked up at him, shrugged, and walked his way, " Something's very wrong..."

Allen lifted an eyebrow as he studied Van's pale face, " What? "

" Well...it's about Hitomi...", his voice trailed off and Allen frowned, " What about Hitomi? ", his voice full of concern.

" She's not the same as she was when she left ten years ago...."

" How so? "

" She doesn't remember anything...nothing about Gaea, Fanelia....or even me. ", his voice wavered.

" Where is she? Maybe Millerna can help? ", he offered.

Van shook his head, " I don't want to disturb her. She needs her rest Allen...."

" Alright Van, but we gotta help Hitomi remember. If she doesn't remember, then she shouldn't have even come back..."

Van's frown deepened, " I think she came here against her own wishes. If she came here on her own, she would've remembered who I was. "

Allen knitted his brows together in concentration as he began to think. Van watched his face, " What are you doing? "

" Just thinking about how bizarre this is. It just doesn't make any sense. ", he frowned. " What'd she say to you when you met her? "

" She told me about her dead husband, her baby boy...she just rambled about how she's never been here in her entire life. She was pretty shocked to see me holding her pendant. ", he bit his lip. " I told her that she was here before...ten years ago, and she thought it was a big joke. She didn't believe me..."

" And...that was all? "

Van shook his head, " No...she mentioned that she had gotten into a...plane crash with her husband...the day her baby was born. "

Allen crossed his arms over his chest, " Maybe that's it? "

" What? "

" Maybe that's why she can't remember anything. The plane crash...maybe she hit her had or something..."

Van lifted an eyebrow, " You might be right Allen. You think that there is still hope? ".

He shrugged. " I...maybe. I still don't know. Just don't give up hope on her...just help her along, bit by bit...day by day. "

Van nodded slowly, " Alright, uh, look Allen....I'm going to retire for the night now, I'm kinda exhausted from today. "

Allen nodded understandingly, " yeah...", he chuckled. " I told Millerna that I'd be with her, probably about...oh, a couple of minutes ago. So, I'll catch you around tomorrow...alright? "

Van nodded and turned to go to his room. Allen watched him until he disappeared around a corner. He frowned as he quietly opened the door and slipped inside.

Millerna looked up from her book, " Well? Where have you been? ", she demanded.

He grinned and then frowned as he quickly stripped down to his pants. He slipped into the bed and leaned back against the pillow with his arms behind his head, He felt Millerna's questioning gaze and he sghed, " Alright. Van....I was talking to Van, and...apparently Hitomi is back. "

Millerna's light brows shot up in surprise, " Really? Where is she? How is she? "

" Well she's sleeping at the moment, but I don't know how she's doing from what Van told me..."

" Huh? What are you saying? "

Allen sighed loudly, " Well...Hitomi does not remember anything about being here on Gaea. She actually doesn't even know who Van is..."

Millerna gasped, " That's terrible! How's he taking it? "

He swallowed and ran a hand over his face, " Pretty bad. The one he's ever loved has no clue who or what he is. I found him walking to his room. He looked like he was complating suicide or something. "

Millerna nodded, " Well? What would you expect? He's like a complete stranger to her. She must've been frigthened when she first saw him..."

Allen shrugged, " I don't know. Love? How about we worry abuot them in the morning? I'm tired...aren't you? ".
She sighed and closed her book. She let it drop to the ground as she reached over and blew the candle out. They were silent for a few minutes, laying in the dark before Millerna spoke up, " Allen? I'm scared...."

Allen frowned and turned onto his side to look at her face in the moonlight, " Why love? "

" I'm scared for them...I don't know why, but...I have a very bed feeling that Van's going to do something stupid and then regret it the next day..."

" Aww....", he leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. " Don't worry. I'll make sure myself thathe doesn't do anything stupid. Now....rest love so you're refreshed in the morning. I think we're going to spend a couple more days here, for the sake of these two destined lovers, alright? "

Millerna nodded and closed her eyes as she felt Allen twine his fingers with hers. He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle softly before placing their joined hands to his heart.

***

Gabriella paced the room. Her hair was wild, sticking up everywhere. Merle watched from the chair in the corner, twisting her finger around the hem of her cotton nightgown. She looked at Gabriella, " Don't worry...it'll be alright. ", she promised her. " It was only a nightmare. "

Gabriella stopped and sat down on the edge of her bed. She placed her head in her hadns and whispered, her voice hoarse from screaming for hours, " No it won't! It wasn't a nightmare. It was so real Merle. I don't understand it...w-who was the guy with wings? He had Van's reddish-brown eyes, but....it didn't look like him ".

Merle swallowed, ' oh god...she's going to find out...', " Uh...it wasn't real...the Draconians are all dead Gabriella. You don't need to worry..."

She looked at Merle, " You sure? "

Merle nodded with a smile to her lips, " Yes...believe me Gabby....I use to have nightmares like this before too. It was Lord Van who would find me screaming my head off...", she lied.

Gabriella swallowed and wiped at the tears still on her cheeks. She looked at Merle and smiled, " Thanks Merle..."

Merle nodded and watched as Gabriella walked over to the window. She crossed her arms over her chest and asked lightly, " You think that....Van would ask me to marry him? "

Merle's eyes widened and she couldn't speal. Gabriella turned to look at her, " Well? Do you? "

Merle blinked and swallowed, " uh....", she shrugged. " He might....I think he kind of likes you...", she teased in a light voice.

A smile broke out on Gabriella's face, " Really? "

She nodded, " Mm-hmm! "

" Great! Merle aren't you tired? You didn't have to stay any longer if you don't want to . I'd really like to grab some sleep while I still can..."

Merle got up and walked over to the door, " Gabriella, don't give up on hope...goodnight...", she said as she left the room.

She walked down the hall and disappeared into her room. She walked over to the bed and fell back into it. She looked up at the ceiling and frowned, " Oh Lord Van...if you only knew what was going to happen...if only Hitomi had just stayed on the Mystic Moon where she belonged...."

She closed her eyes and thought about Van's second(third?) marriage and if it'd be more successful then the first. She slowly drifted off with the thought of Gabriella marrying Van on her mind.