SWORD AND SHEATH
2: BROKEN BLADES ARE LIKE SHATTERED HEARTS
-a TC fic
There was a blank bit of white noise at the beginning of the tape, before
Quatre's face appeared. The angelic countenance brought Kattyena to tears once
more, and she nearly had to stop the tape. However, Quatre seemed to know how
she'd react. His eyes, glistening with tears, spoke a silent apology. Being
Quatre, he skipped the usual, 'if you're watching this that probably means
I'm...' speech and went straight to blaming himself for everything. "I'm sorry
for this Kattyena, and if you don't want to watch this tape I'll understand.
This is probably the most selfish thing I've ever done in my life, and though
you may hate me for it, I couldn't go into this battle without my good-byes
being on file somewhere. Rashid will have told you then, how I died. I hope I
haven't hurt you too badly by coming in contact with you. In the few short
hours that I've known you, you've changed my life forever, for the better. I
would never forgive myself if I ruined yours in the process. Well before I get
into that, I suppose I'd better explain everything. It's the least I can do.
However I warn you that you could be imprisoned for knowing the things I'm about
to tell you. I hope that wherever you are, you walk away now and forget you
ever met me." At this point Quatre dropped his eyes from the camera to wipe
away the tears threatening to overcome him. Kattyena burst into fresh sobs at
the thought of forgetting the angel who had saved her life in more ways than
one. After a few sniffles on both ends, the monologue continued. "I say once
again, Kattyena walk away now and forget me, it's the best thing you could do."
Kattyena didn't move and inch. "However, if you aren't going to listen to me,
which I have a feeling you won't," Quatre paused to smile waterily at her. "You
have the right to know what this is about. All right. I, Quatre Raberba
Winner, am the pilot of the mobile suit Gundam Sandrock. The Gundams are a rebel
force fighting against a militaristic organization named OZ, whose goal is world
domination. It may sound cliched, but they destroy and suppress whoever or
whatever lies in the way of their goals. I have been trained to fight and kill
my enemies, the soldiers of OZ, mercilessly, and I do so. I have the blood of
countless soldiers and innocents on my hands, including yours. It was my Gundam
who caused the Leo suit to crash into your school and I who caused it to
explode, injuring you. I made a grave mistake and will not ask for you to
forgive me, but you have the right to know. My tears won't wash your blood from
my hands, but I seem to be crying anyway." At this Quatre looked faintly amused,
then he sobered. "One last thing. I would like to thank you, Kattyena, for
coming into my life. Your presence caused the last two days to be some of the
best in my life. For the first time I didn't feel like a soldier, or a
murderer, I felt happy. I felt myself opening up to another person, and it
healed many of the scars this constant battle has made on my soul. I know I
deserved those scars, but it still felt incredibly good to have them lifted
away. I heard once, that some of the samurai assassins of medieval Japan had
female companions called Sheaths. Since they were constantly killing, the
samurai were much like a bared sword blade, unstable and often mistaken for
soulless. The Sheaths kept their humanity alive, helped them to feel, be human
beings, stand up through all the killing. I know this is all my fault, you must
hate me so much right now, but the instant we met I felt something from you. I
don't know what, but later while talking to you I realized that you would have
been the perfect Sheath for one of those samurai. There's something very open
and relaxing about being around you. I hope that you find a samurai of your own
someday. I'm sorry. Goodbye Kattyena. I really hope you don't speak Japanese.
Gomen nasai watashi no tenshi. I...I think I.... *Whispered* ai shiteru tenshi,
ai shiteru." With the last sentence, Quatre reached out one hand to touch his
fingertips to the lens of the camera. Kattyena reached up to the TV in a
wondering sort of trance, but instead of the soft warmth of his hand; there was
only cold glass under her fingertips. As Kattyena blinked in surprise, Quatre
whispered "I'm sorry" once more and the video cut out. Kattyena's shocked and
tearstained gaze was met by the harsh white noise of the blank tape.
"Quatre...no...Quatre? Where? Where did you go? Quatre? Quatre?! QUATRE!!"
Kattyena broke down into hopeless sobs as the blank tape continued to play, a
single point of harsh light in the darkened room.
-Just a note- Gomen nasai watashi no tenshi = Forgive me/I'm sorry my angel
ai shiteru tenshi, ai shiteru = I love you angel, I love you.
Kattyena wandered around the complex for the next few days, somehow
finally finding her way back to Rashid's office. He was sitting at his desk
when she wandered in, although he quickly rose to meet her. "Miss? I would
have thought that transportation would have been arranged for you after you
watched that tape, what are you doing here?" He looked concerned.
"I never left." Kattyena blinked at him. Rashid just looked confused.
"Well uhh, then I suppose I'll arrange transport for you now then..." He
pushed a few buttons on his desk, and looked slightly more at ease. "There, now
I've found someone to make sure you get home safely, they'll be here in a
minute." He turned back to his work.
"Wait a second, could I ask you something before I go?" Kattyena looked
at Rashid, suddenly determined. He looked up at her expectantly. "Would you
mind if I took something of Quatre's with me? As a reminder?" Rashid smiled
sadly.
"No Kattyena, I don't mind, actually I know just the thing."
Three days later, Kattyena walked into her school with just a slight
feeling of detachment, a compact tape player clipped at her waist. The
beautiful violin solos sung in her ears, their sad tune both soothing and
stabbing her tortured soul. Its heart-wrenching melody reminding her all too
much of Quatre's personality. The sound of the violin was mournful, but the
songs played on it were somehow cheerful and tragic at the same time. An
attempt to raise the spirits of those around it while exposing the inner pain it
hid from the world. Listening to such music and having a constant reminder of
the extraordinary life she had touched so briefly, and the love she had lost
without ever having, not many people could keep from being at least a little
detached. Especially when they were asked to immediately return to the mundane
life they had lead before, without any time to hurt or heal. Considering the
circumstances, Kattyena was doing an admirable job of maintaining a veneer of
normalcy. No one had mentioned her slightly aloof air, her more solemn
demeanor, perhaps they thought things were best left unsaid. As she had fought
her way through that terrible first day of classes, and the next, Kattyena's
mind slowly began to comprehend what happened. It had all occurred in such a
short space of time... She still couldn't believe that he was gone, it almost
seemed that he was still there beside her, that their bond was somehow all the
stronger for their separation. Quatre's words had brought home to her what her
subconscious had known from the start, they shared something special. Perhaps
it sounds cliched to ignorant ears, but they had. Even after only knowing each
other for 48 hours, Kattyena and Quatre's fates were unalterably intertwined, a
meeting of souls almost. Kattyena now understood what was, or had been, between
them, and she could say with utter certainty that it definitely hadn't been a
simple crush. [Look into your soul of souls, do you truly believe I would leave
you koibito?]Kattyena looked around frantically before shaking her head angrily.
Oh yeah...there were also those dreams that had started up. Strange ones
involving Quatre, odd merely because of their realism. Kattyena dreamed often,
and vividly, but never the same subject, every night, real as life itself, and
almost impossibly vivid. Her dreams were...let's just say...slightly
more...odd...than these ones. These were too based in reality, no breaking laws
of gravity, none of her friends suddenly deciding they loved cooking for online
friends, no deflating cars, these dreams were definitely unusual. And if that
wasn't enough, to top it all off she was hearing his voice... she couldn't even
lose it at school. "I mean what the hell, I don't even know what a koibi-
whatsis is!" she muttered under her breath. Although the word did sound
familiar somehow...
"What? What did you just say?" Shaken out of her reverie, Kattyena looked
up to see one of her friends staring at her very oddly. She took off her
headphones and blushed, for she had understood the context the word was used
in...I really hope she didn't understand that...
"Nothing. It was nothing." She assured her friend. She prayed that
whatever Quatre had said wasn't some sort of Japanese slang that her Anime-
obsessed friend would understand. Although she could swear she'd heard the word
before...
"Oiii" Her friend smiled foolishly. "I coulda sworn I heard you say
koibito, which is Japanese for lover, I think...but I think I've told you that
before... In fact I'm sure of it...when...hnn...oh I remember, it was when I
wrote that fic with me and Heer- ack! Never mind, never mind!" Her friend
turned an odd shade of pink, waving her hands furiously. Kattyena replaced her
headphones...That girl, she could be so odd sometimes...wait that was where she
had heard it before, her friend had written something about herself and this
other guy from a show...yeah that was it. Her friend had explained at the time,
with much humming and hawing, that koibito was a word for a kind of sort of
something like lover, more serious than girlfriend or boyfriend...but she wasn't
sure and read entirely too much fanfiction and shouldn't be quoted on it...
Well Kattyena was going to quote her on it now. She suddenly realized that
there were no tears threatening her eyes. Was she so shallow as to have
forgotten the loss of Quatre already? [No, you could never be shallow. You're
just locking away your feelings because you don't want to bring down those
around you. It's a considerate thing to do, but don't lock it all away because
as much as it hurts now, it will only hurt more later.] Kattyena told
herself...or no, rather the voice in her head told her. It was her wasn't it?
What else could it be? Was she going crazy? [No koi, you aren't. I'm sorry just
wait a little longer, please...be my sheath, be strong, for just a little
longer..] Kattyena shook her head violently once more. These conversations with
herself would have to stop. It was just too strange, besides if she let them
continue, what if she started talking out loud one day...No they would
definitely have to stop. "Hello? Kattyena, anyone home?" The anime freak
rapped her knuckles on Kattyena's forehead. Kattyena blinked slowly before
removing the ever-present headphones once more and shooting a halfhearted glare
at her friend.
"Sorry, just spacing." She rubbed her forehead. "But you didn't have to
knock so hard."
"Oii, sorry about that." Her friend grinned sheepishly. "Ne ne what shall
we do today?" The girl changed the subject and Kattyena was brought back to the
present, which happened to be her third day back at school. When Kattyena
didn't answer, the other girl twitched her ears (=3 which looks really odd when
a person does it...) an oddly inhuman gesture, and brought up her hand in
preparations for another couple of taps. This caused Kattyena to answer
hurriedly.
"Uhh I dunno...I think I'll just go home." She answered uncertainly. The
other girl shrugged.
"Nandemo, (whatever) I guess I'll go home and sleep then." She took off
in the direction of her home, gliding quickly, if clumsily, away on her roller-
blades. Kattyena, true to her word, went home. When she got there though, the
house was empty. Not that it mattered. Flopping down on the couch, Kattyena
turned on the TV and was suddenly consumed by an overpowering drowsiness. The
after school cartoons weren't that boring, but after a while she simply couldn't
keep her droopy eyelids open. The chattering of the TV faded into the
background and Kattyena was once more taken to the strange world of her dreams
where she didn't need the tape player to hear his violin.
["Kuso...I've done it this time!" She/he was thrown violently against the
mobile suit's safety harness. She/he jerked on the controls and the robot
ceased it's erratic tumbling. However the mobile dolls were hot on her/his
proverbial tail and her/his suit was already badly damaged. She/he was growing
very tired; no one could fight so many mobile dolls alone for so long without
sooner or later succumbing to their greater stamina. The final shots were fired
and her/his twin, curved swords were knocked out of her/his hands. The Vulcan
cannon in her/his helmet was out of ammo, as was everything else. She/he
sighed. None of her/his fellows would reach them in time. She/he had to do it
now, before the critical mechanism became too damaged to work. Mobile dolls
surrounded her/him like ants around a disturbed hill as she/he flipped up the
guard and punched that vile red button. Warnings began to sound in the cockpit,
loud, annoying warnings. She/he hit a switch and the alarms cut off, the
cockpit suddenly silent except for the muffled sounds of battle outside. She/he
watched sadly as the scores of mobile dolls took aim and fired shots that would
never reach her. Suddenly her communications board crackled. "Quatre? Quatre
is that you?" The voice was somehow familiar to her/him. She/he found
herself/himself speaking back to it.
"There's too many of them Trowa, escape while you can. It's too late."
"What about you?"
"Sandrock is...too damaged." She/he sighed. "Trowa, please go, and tell them
how I died." She/he shut of communications. Trowa was her/his only real friend
among the other pilots and she/he didn't want him to hear her/him die. She/he
whispered her/his last good-byes as the cockpit rattled with the concussions of
her self-destructing suit. The last explosion sent a huge fireball up into the
afternoon sky as her/his world was thrown into the blackness of unconsciousness.
I'm sorry...]
Kattyena sat up violently from her position on the couch, breathing heavily.
Not again... She put her hands up to cover her face but no tears came. I can't
do it. I can't let myself. It hurts too much to remember...oh Quatre... The
tears finally came and Kattyena sobbed herself back to sleep.
[She/he crawled painfully through the underbrush near the base; her/his multiple
injuries causing a whole hell of a lot of pain, even if they were mostly scrapes
and cuts. The abandoned cabin was only a little ways ahead, if he could only
make it there, there was a transmitter, one of her/his fellow pilots would come
and help her/him. Then she/he would be back in action. If only she/he could
walk... only a little further...
She/he shivered, the cabin offering little protection against the icy winds.
They came in through the chinks in the wall and caressed her/his poor body.
She/he was sure she/he would die if something didn't happen soon. She/he could
no longer move, the cuts were beginning to get infected and she/he was sure a
few bones of hers/his must be broken. Slowly she/he closed her/his runny eyes
and waited some more...
She/he opened her/his eyes at the sound of a door opening. Or rather tried to
open them. Her/his eyelashes were crusted together as a result of a nasty cold
she/he had developed. She/he was just lucky she/he hadn't gone into shock the
night before... She/he finally got her/his eyes open and was assaulted by the
brightness around the silhouette in the doorway. "Itai..." she/he croaked.
Well it was either help or her/his death standing in that doorway and she/he
didn't have enough energy to lift her/his head and see. Strong arms picked
her/him up and a familiar voice sounded in her ears.
"Took me a while to find you." Trowa said.
"Thank you." She/he smiled painfully and slipped into unconsciousness once
more.]
Kattyena opened her eyes to the real world once more, this time more calmly.
She sighed and lay staring up at the living room ceiling. Such vivid
dreams...why am I dreaming about his past? I only knew him for a couple of
days, could we have developed that much of a link? So much that I dream about
his missions whenever I close my eyes? Kattyena wasn't entirely accurate on
that last statement since her dream was always the same one, exactly. She shook
her head to clear it. Who was that Trowa guy anyway? [Like a brother koi, it's
nice having a brother when you have 29 sisters.] Kattyena blinked. That was
right. Rashid had told her that. 29 sisters was a lot...it almost made
Kattyena's eyes cross. You get used to it after a while. Kattyena was getting
all too used to talking herself; she hardly noticed it anymore, except to
chastise herself once in a while. The phone rang, and Kattyena got up to answer
it, checking her watch. It was almost six.
"Hello, may I speak to Ms. Kattyena?" The voice on the other end was
momentarily unfamiliar; it was too deep and mature to be any of her friends.
"Speaking." She replied blandly.
"Ah. Ms. Kattyena it's Rashid, would anyone object if you left the house for a
short while? I'd like you to come down to the base." Kattyena frowned. She
thought the Magnamac had packed up and left days ago. Rashid probably decided
that he couldn't let her go without more questioning and reassurances that she
wouldn't say anything to anyone. Kattyena blinked.
"Sure. No one's here right now, but I can leave a note." She said.
"Thank you, someone will be there shortly to pick you up." Rashid hung up.
Kattyena frowned again. Well whatever he wanted, he seemed rather grim. Maybe
one of Quatre's 29 sisters wanted the (Guaahhh I keep trying to call it an SDAT
player...baka Shinji!! ) tape and tape player, after all they had been his.
That would be unfortunate. Kattyena thought about all of this, writing a quick
note saying she would be out for a while, and walking to the front door to wait.
As her hand touched the doorknob, she did it again. [Don't forget a jacket now
koi, you don't want to catch a cold.] Kattyena blinked this time and grabbed a
jacket out of the closet absently. How disturbing. Well hopefully she would
get rid of that habit soon. A car pulled up outside and she ran to meet it,
jumping in and shutting the door. Despite the shortness of the ride, since they
took a roundabout route, Kattyena managed to doze off for a minute or two.
Surprisingly all she dreamed about was...driving around in cars. When she woke
up, they had reached the Magnamac base and she was led inside. The walk to
Rashid's office brought a few halfhearted tears, because initially, it was the
same route she had taken with Quatre the first time she was brought to the base
in his arms. She had been drifting in and out of some semblance of
consciousness at the time, but she still remembered the route well enough.
Luckily or unluckily, they soon turned off and followed the maze of passages
somewhere else and the bittersweet memories dispelled. Rashid was in his office
when Kattyena walked in with her escort. One of the tanned Magnamac men nodded
to him. Then all of them left the office, leaving Kattyena alone with the bear-
like man. "I'll get right to the point, one of Quatre's fellow pilots-"
"Trowa?" Kattyena inquired.
"Yes..." Rashid stopped to give her an odd look before continuing. "Is going to
arrive at this base soon and he requested you be here to meet him." Rashid's
brow wrinkled. "Don't ask me why because I don't know. His message was pre-
recorded, and only stated that he was coming here and that he'd like you to be
present." The possibility that perhaps he was bringing Quatre's body with him
was left unsaid.
"When will he be here?"
"I'm not sure exactly when, but within ten minutes."
"Perhaps we should go outside and wait?"
"Yes, for once this infernal town isn't being drenched in rain, do let us enjoy
it." Rashid stepped out from behind his desk and Kattyena fell into step behind
him. "This town's weather just doesn't suit us desert types, Master Quatre was
the only one who actually seemed to like the rain." After that Rashid and
Kattyena both lapsed into memory-laden silence.
They had barely been waiting for ten minutes when a car pulled up to the wide-
open gate in the chain link fence that surrounded the cannery. Getting up from
the bench that they had been sitting on near the warehouse, Kattyena and Rashid
began to walk towards the car. One door opened and a tall lanky boy stepped
out. He was dressed in a dark green turtleneck and light blue jeans. A swath
of tawny-brown hair covered one eye, but left the other, quiet forest green in
color, exposed. So this is Trowa Kattyena thought to herself. Hey at least it
was her own thought this time. However any other thoughts she might have been
even thinking of thinking stopped when Trowa helped the other passenger out of
the car. Kattyena's heart rammed painfully into her throat as she stopped dead.
No, it can't be...but she knew she would recognize that face anywhere. And
truly although battered, bandaged, and somewhat the worse for wear, it was
definitely him smiling weakly at her, his platinum gold hair playfully tousled
by the light sea breeze, his blue eyes had smudges of sleeplessness under them,
but they retained their sparkle. It couldn't be anyone else standing there,
with his incredible beauty that was so like that of the bared sword blade he
used to describe the traditional warriors. Kattyena felt a pressure building
inside of her, and although her brain still catching up to what was happening,
her soul of souls knew. With tremendous yell, she ran joyously towards the
young angel that had captured her heart. Quatre was alive.
[I told you it was only a little longer koibito...]
-OWARI-
(End) part 2
Author's Note(s)/Personal Disclaimers/Rambling: Well I like this one better. I
hope others do too. I thought of ending it here but I wasn't sure. It's a good
place to conclude, but I don't really know whether I feel like it's finished. I
guess I'll make it your (the reader's) job to decide. I don't know if I could
write more if I wanted to. Does it feel unconcluded to you? Well anyways...I
hope this one made the Quatre fans a little happier...O.o;; You shoulda seen my
friend when she read the first part.
-K is reading TC's story-
TC: Ummm hey Inert could you remove all sharp object's from around her?
I: Sure...
K: -mumble mumble- (reading slightly aloud.) Quatre...blah blah blah...what?
What? Quatre...?
-K's head snaps up in a nastily predatory way from the page-
-TC looks distressed ......-
K: Quatre...? You killed...him off?
-eyes narrow-
TC: Ummmm well ... you know I've always been fond of those angsty
fics...nuthin too disney for me...and well uhhh y'see...
K: You.....killed...Quatre?
-posture shifts to one frighteningly close to that of a hunting 'raptor
TC: Uhhh yeah....'fraid so...
K: You....
-K spins suddenly and rapidly hits Inert several times...viciously...he protests
that he didn't do anything...-
TC: Ummmm.....Don't worry...even with him dead the story'll be really cute in
the second part...I think you'll like it...
K: So he's not dead?
TC: No, no he's definitely dead...(keeping it a surprise =3) The second part is
about you guys realizing how you felt...-please don't hurt me...-
K: So you killed him off....?
TC: Was for the good of the story! I tell you it's for the best....X.x;;;;
K: But you killed him off?
TC: Uhhh yeahhhh....
K: Just had to be sure before I killed you...
TC: Ack! No...Just lemme finish the story! No don't hurt meeeeeeee
-A chase ensues...K chases TC around the house for fifteen minutes before TC's
mother comes home and K is forced to put the baseball bat down.-
I: Well you only said sharp objects...
Disclaimer(s): I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters and stuff I used from
it...I'm not making money from this, I did it purely for fun...so don't sue
me...I do own my own characters though...and my plotlines...my stuff...O.o;; I'm
making a mess of this aren't I? Well all the standard disclaimers and stuff I
forgot...
2: BROKEN BLADES ARE LIKE SHATTERED HEARTS
-a TC fic
There was a blank bit of white noise at the beginning of the tape, before
Quatre's face appeared. The angelic countenance brought Kattyena to tears once
more, and she nearly had to stop the tape. However, Quatre seemed to know how
she'd react. His eyes, glistening with tears, spoke a silent apology. Being
Quatre, he skipped the usual, 'if you're watching this that probably means
I'm...' speech and went straight to blaming himself for everything. "I'm sorry
for this Kattyena, and if you don't want to watch this tape I'll understand.
This is probably the most selfish thing I've ever done in my life, and though
you may hate me for it, I couldn't go into this battle without my good-byes
being on file somewhere. Rashid will have told you then, how I died. I hope I
haven't hurt you too badly by coming in contact with you. In the few short
hours that I've known you, you've changed my life forever, for the better. I
would never forgive myself if I ruined yours in the process. Well before I get
into that, I suppose I'd better explain everything. It's the least I can do.
However I warn you that you could be imprisoned for knowing the things I'm about
to tell you. I hope that wherever you are, you walk away now and forget you
ever met me." At this point Quatre dropped his eyes from the camera to wipe
away the tears threatening to overcome him. Kattyena burst into fresh sobs at
the thought of forgetting the angel who had saved her life in more ways than
one. After a few sniffles on both ends, the monologue continued. "I say once
again, Kattyena walk away now and forget me, it's the best thing you could do."
Kattyena didn't move and inch. "However, if you aren't going to listen to me,
which I have a feeling you won't," Quatre paused to smile waterily at her. "You
have the right to know what this is about. All right. I, Quatre Raberba
Winner, am the pilot of the mobile suit Gundam Sandrock. The Gundams are a rebel
force fighting against a militaristic organization named OZ, whose goal is world
domination. It may sound cliched, but they destroy and suppress whoever or
whatever lies in the way of their goals. I have been trained to fight and kill
my enemies, the soldiers of OZ, mercilessly, and I do so. I have the blood of
countless soldiers and innocents on my hands, including yours. It was my Gundam
who caused the Leo suit to crash into your school and I who caused it to
explode, injuring you. I made a grave mistake and will not ask for you to
forgive me, but you have the right to know. My tears won't wash your blood from
my hands, but I seem to be crying anyway." At this Quatre looked faintly amused,
then he sobered. "One last thing. I would like to thank you, Kattyena, for
coming into my life. Your presence caused the last two days to be some of the
best in my life. For the first time I didn't feel like a soldier, or a
murderer, I felt happy. I felt myself opening up to another person, and it
healed many of the scars this constant battle has made on my soul. I know I
deserved those scars, but it still felt incredibly good to have them lifted
away. I heard once, that some of the samurai assassins of medieval Japan had
female companions called Sheaths. Since they were constantly killing, the
samurai were much like a bared sword blade, unstable and often mistaken for
soulless. The Sheaths kept their humanity alive, helped them to feel, be human
beings, stand up through all the killing. I know this is all my fault, you must
hate me so much right now, but the instant we met I felt something from you. I
don't know what, but later while talking to you I realized that you would have
been the perfect Sheath for one of those samurai. There's something very open
and relaxing about being around you. I hope that you find a samurai of your own
someday. I'm sorry. Goodbye Kattyena. I really hope you don't speak Japanese.
Gomen nasai watashi no tenshi. I...I think I.... *Whispered* ai shiteru tenshi,
ai shiteru." With the last sentence, Quatre reached out one hand to touch his
fingertips to the lens of the camera. Kattyena reached up to the TV in a
wondering sort of trance, but instead of the soft warmth of his hand; there was
only cold glass under her fingertips. As Kattyena blinked in surprise, Quatre
whispered "I'm sorry" once more and the video cut out. Kattyena's shocked and
tearstained gaze was met by the harsh white noise of the blank tape.
"Quatre...no...Quatre? Where? Where did you go? Quatre? Quatre?! QUATRE!!"
Kattyena broke down into hopeless sobs as the blank tape continued to play, a
single point of harsh light in the darkened room.
-Just a note- Gomen nasai watashi no tenshi = Forgive me/I'm sorry my angel
ai shiteru tenshi, ai shiteru = I love you angel, I love you.
Kattyena wandered around the complex for the next few days, somehow
finally finding her way back to Rashid's office. He was sitting at his desk
when she wandered in, although he quickly rose to meet her. "Miss? I would
have thought that transportation would have been arranged for you after you
watched that tape, what are you doing here?" He looked concerned.
"I never left." Kattyena blinked at him. Rashid just looked confused.
"Well uhh, then I suppose I'll arrange transport for you now then..." He
pushed a few buttons on his desk, and looked slightly more at ease. "There, now
I've found someone to make sure you get home safely, they'll be here in a
minute." He turned back to his work.
"Wait a second, could I ask you something before I go?" Kattyena looked
at Rashid, suddenly determined. He looked up at her expectantly. "Would you
mind if I took something of Quatre's with me? As a reminder?" Rashid smiled
sadly.
"No Kattyena, I don't mind, actually I know just the thing."
Three days later, Kattyena walked into her school with just a slight
feeling of detachment, a compact tape player clipped at her waist. The
beautiful violin solos sung in her ears, their sad tune both soothing and
stabbing her tortured soul. Its heart-wrenching melody reminding her all too
much of Quatre's personality. The sound of the violin was mournful, but the
songs played on it were somehow cheerful and tragic at the same time. An
attempt to raise the spirits of those around it while exposing the inner pain it
hid from the world. Listening to such music and having a constant reminder of
the extraordinary life she had touched so briefly, and the love she had lost
without ever having, not many people could keep from being at least a little
detached. Especially when they were asked to immediately return to the mundane
life they had lead before, without any time to hurt or heal. Considering the
circumstances, Kattyena was doing an admirable job of maintaining a veneer of
normalcy. No one had mentioned her slightly aloof air, her more solemn
demeanor, perhaps they thought things were best left unsaid. As she had fought
her way through that terrible first day of classes, and the next, Kattyena's
mind slowly began to comprehend what happened. It had all occurred in such a
short space of time... She still couldn't believe that he was gone, it almost
seemed that he was still there beside her, that their bond was somehow all the
stronger for their separation. Quatre's words had brought home to her what her
subconscious had known from the start, they shared something special. Perhaps
it sounds cliched to ignorant ears, but they had. Even after only knowing each
other for 48 hours, Kattyena and Quatre's fates were unalterably intertwined, a
meeting of souls almost. Kattyena now understood what was, or had been, between
them, and she could say with utter certainty that it definitely hadn't been a
simple crush. [Look into your soul of souls, do you truly believe I would leave
you koibito?]Kattyena looked around frantically before shaking her head angrily.
Oh yeah...there were also those dreams that had started up. Strange ones
involving Quatre, odd merely because of their realism. Kattyena dreamed often,
and vividly, but never the same subject, every night, real as life itself, and
almost impossibly vivid. Her dreams were...let's just say...slightly
more...odd...than these ones. These were too based in reality, no breaking laws
of gravity, none of her friends suddenly deciding they loved cooking for online
friends, no deflating cars, these dreams were definitely unusual. And if that
wasn't enough, to top it all off she was hearing his voice... she couldn't even
lose it at school. "I mean what the hell, I don't even know what a koibi-
whatsis is!" she muttered under her breath. Although the word did sound
familiar somehow...
"What? What did you just say?" Shaken out of her reverie, Kattyena looked
up to see one of her friends staring at her very oddly. She took off her
headphones and blushed, for she had understood the context the word was used
in...I really hope she didn't understand that...
"Nothing. It was nothing." She assured her friend. She prayed that
whatever Quatre had said wasn't some sort of Japanese slang that her Anime-
obsessed friend would understand. Although she could swear she'd heard the word
before...
"Oiii" Her friend smiled foolishly. "I coulda sworn I heard you say
koibito, which is Japanese for lover, I think...but I think I've told you that
before... In fact I'm sure of it...when...hnn...oh I remember, it was when I
wrote that fic with me and Heer- ack! Never mind, never mind!" Her friend
turned an odd shade of pink, waving her hands furiously. Kattyena replaced her
headphones...That girl, she could be so odd sometimes...wait that was where she
had heard it before, her friend had written something about herself and this
other guy from a show...yeah that was it. Her friend had explained at the time,
with much humming and hawing, that koibito was a word for a kind of sort of
something like lover, more serious than girlfriend or boyfriend...but she wasn't
sure and read entirely too much fanfiction and shouldn't be quoted on it...
Well Kattyena was going to quote her on it now. She suddenly realized that
there were no tears threatening her eyes. Was she so shallow as to have
forgotten the loss of Quatre already? [No, you could never be shallow. You're
just locking away your feelings because you don't want to bring down those
around you. It's a considerate thing to do, but don't lock it all away because
as much as it hurts now, it will only hurt more later.] Kattyena told
herself...or no, rather the voice in her head told her. It was her wasn't it?
What else could it be? Was she going crazy? [No koi, you aren't. I'm sorry just
wait a little longer, please...be my sheath, be strong, for just a little
longer..] Kattyena shook her head violently once more. These conversations with
herself would have to stop. It was just too strange, besides if she let them
continue, what if she started talking out loud one day...No they would
definitely have to stop. "Hello? Kattyena, anyone home?" The anime freak
rapped her knuckles on Kattyena's forehead. Kattyena blinked slowly before
removing the ever-present headphones once more and shooting a halfhearted glare
at her friend.
"Sorry, just spacing." She rubbed her forehead. "But you didn't have to
knock so hard."
"Oii, sorry about that." Her friend grinned sheepishly. "Ne ne what shall
we do today?" The girl changed the subject and Kattyena was brought back to the
present, which happened to be her third day back at school. When Kattyena
didn't answer, the other girl twitched her ears (=3 which looks really odd when
a person does it...) an oddly inhuman gesture, and brought up her hand in
preparations for another couple of taps. This caused Kattyena to answer
hurriedly.
"Uhh I dunno...I think I'll just go home." She answered uncertainly. The
other girl shrugged.
"Nandemo, (whatever) I guess I'll go home and sleep then." She took off
in the direction of her home, gliding quickly, if clumsily, away on her roller-
blades. Kattyena, true to her word, went home. When she got there though, the
house was empty. Not that it mattered. Flopping down on the couch, Kattyena
turned on the TV and was suddenly consumed by an overpowering drowsiness. The
after school cartoons weren't that boring, but after a while she simply couldn't
keep her droopy eyelids open. The chattering of the TV faded into the
background and Kattyena was once more taken to the strange world of her dreams
where she didn't need the tape player to hear his violin.
["Kuso...I've done it this time!" She/he was thrown violently against the
mobile suit's safety harness. She/he jerked on the controls and the robot
ceased it's erratic tumbling. However the mobile dolls were hot on her/his
proverbial tail and her/his suit was already badly damaged. She/he was growing
very tired; no one could fight so many mobile dolls alone for so long without
sooner or later succumbing to their greater stamina. The final shots were fired
and her/his twin, curved swords were knocked out of her/his hands. The Vulcan
cannon in her/his helmet was out of ammo, as was everything else. She/he
sighed. None of her/his fellows would reach them in time. She/he had to do it
now, before the critical mechanism became too damaged to work. Mobile dolls
surrounded her/him like ants around a disturbed hill as she/he flipped up the
guard and punched that vile red button. Warnings began to sound in the cockpit,
loud, annoying warnings. She/he hit a switch and the alarms cut off, the
cockpit suddenly silent except for the muffled sounds of battle outside. She/he
watched sadly as the scores of mobile dolls took aim and fired shots that would
never reach her. Suddenly her communications board crackled. "Quatre? Quatre
is that you?" The voice was somehow familiar to her/him. She/he found
herself/himself speaking back to it.
"There's too many of them Trowa, escape while you can. It's too late."
"What about you?"
"Sandrock is...too damaged." She/he sighed. "Trowa, please go, and tell them
how I died." She/he shut of communications. Trowa was her/his only real friend
among the other pilots and she/he didn't want him to hear her/him die. She/he
whispered her/his last good-byes as the cockpit rattled with the concussions of
her self-destructing suit. The last explosion sent a huge fireball up into the
afternoon sky as her/his world was thrown into the blackness of unconsciousness.
I'm sorry...]
Kattyena sat up violently from her position on the couch, breathing heavily.
Not again... She put her hands up to cover her face but no tears came. I can't
do it. I can't let myself. It hurts too much to remember...oh Quatre... The
tears finally came and Kattyena sobbed herself back to sleep.
[She/he crawled painfully through the underbrush near the base; her/his multiple
injuries causing a whole hell of a lot of pain, even if they were mostly scrapes
and cuts. The abandoned cabin was only a little ways ahead, if he could only
make it there, there was a transmitter, one of her/his fellow pilots would come
and help her/him. Then she/he would be back in action. If only she/he could
walk... only a little further...
She/he shivered, the cabin offering little protection against the icy winds.
They came in through the chinks in the wall and caressed her/his poor body.
She/he was sure she/he would die if something didn't happen soon. She/he could
no longer move, the cuts were beginning to get infected and she/he was sure a
few bones of hers/his must be broken. Slowly she/he closed her/his runny eyes
and waited some more...
She/he opened her/his eyes at the sound of a door opening. Or rather tried to
open them. Her/his eyelashes were crusted together as a result of a nasty cold
she/he had developed. She/he was just lucky she/he hadn't gone into shock the
night before... She/he finally got her/his eyes open and was assaulted by the
brightness around the silhouette in the doorway. "Itai..." she/he croaked.
Well it was either help or her/his death standing in that doorway and she/he
didn't have enough energy to lift her/his head and see. Strong arms picked
her/him up and a familiar voice sounded in her ears.
"Took me a while to find you." Trowa said.
"Thank you." She/he smiled painfully and slipped into unconsciousness once
more.]
Kattyena opened her eyes to the real world once more, this time more calmly.
She sighed and lay staring up at the living room ceiling. Such vivid
dreams...why am I dreaming about his past? I only knew him for a couple of
days, could we have developed that much of a link? So much that I dream about
his missions whenever I close my eyes? Kattyena wasn't entirely accurate on
that last statement since her dream was always the same one, exactly. She shook
her head to clear it. Who was that Trowa guy anyway? [Like a brother koi, it's
nice having a brother when you have 29 sisters.] Kattyena blinked. That was
right. Rashid had told her that. 29 sisters was a lot...it almost made
Kattyena's eyes cross. You get used to it after a while. Kattyena was getting
all too used to talking herself; she hardly noticed it anymore, except to
chastise herself once in a while. The phone rang, and Kattyena got up to answer
it, checking her watch. It was almost six.
"Hello, may I speak to Ms. Kattyena?" The voice on the other end was
momentarily unfamiliar; it was too deep and mature to be any of her friends.
"Speaking." She replied blandly.
"Ah. Ms. Kattyena it's Rashid, would anyone object if you left the house for a
short while? I'd like you to come down to the base." Kattyena frowned. She
thought the Magnamac had packed up and left days ago. Rashid probably decided
that he couldn't let her go without more questioning and reassurances that she
wouldn't say anything to anyone. Kattyena blinked.
"Sure. No one's here right now, but I can leave a note." She said.
"Thank you, someone will be there shortly to pick you up." Rashid hung up.
Kattyena frowned again. Well whatever he wanted, he seemed rather grim. Maybe
one of Quatre's 29 sisters wanted the (Guaahhh I keep trying to call it an SDAT
player...baka Shinji!! ) tape and tape player, after all they had been his.
That would be unfortunate. Kattyena thought about all of this, writing a quick
note saying she would be out for a while, and walking to the front door to wait.
As her hand touched the doorknob, she did it again. [Don't forget a jacket now
koi, you don't want to catch a cold.] Kattyena blinked this time and grabbed a
jacket out of the closet absently. How disturbing. Well hopefully she would
get rid of that habit soon. A car pulled up outside and she ran to meet it,
jumping in and shutting the door. Despite the shortness of the ride, since they
took a roundabout route, Kattyena managed to doze off for a minute or two.
Surprisingly all she dreamed about was...driving around in cars. When she woke
up, they had reached the Magnamac base and she was led inside. The walk to
Rashid's office brought a few halfhearted tears, because initially, it was the
same route she had taken with Quatre the first time she was brought to the base
in his arms. She had been drifting in and out of some semblance of
consciousness at the time, but she still remembered the route well enough.
Luckily or unluckily, they soon turned off and followed the maze of passages
somewhere else and the bittersweet memories dispelled. Rashid was in his office
when Kattyena walked in with her escort. One of the tanned Magnamac men nodded
to him. Then all of them left the office, leaving Kattyena alone with the bear-
like man. "I'll get right to the point, one of Quatre's fellow pilots-"
"Trowa?" Kattyena inquired.
"Yes..." Rashid stopped to give her an odd look before continuing. "Is going to
arrive at this base soon and he requested you be here to meet him." Rashid's
brow wrinkled. "Don't ask me why because I don't know. His message was pre-
recorded, and only stated that he was coming here and that he'd like you to be
present." The possibility that perhaps he was bringing Quatre's body with him
was left unsaid.
"When will he be here?"
"I'm not sure exactly when, but within ten minutes."
"Perhaps we should go outside and wait?"
"Yes, for once this infernal town isn't being drenched in rain, do let us enjoy
it." Rashid stepped out from behind his desk and Kattyena fell into step behind
him. "This town's weather just doesn't suit us desert types, Master Quatre was
the only one who actually seemed to like the rain." After that Rashid and
Kattyena both lapsed into memory-laden silence.
They had barely been waiting for ten minutes when a car pulled up to the wide-
open gate in the chain link fence that surrounded the cannery. Getting up from
the bench that they had been sitting on near the warehouse, Kattyena and Rashid
began to walk towards the car. One door opened and a tall lanky boy stepped
out. He was dressed in a dark green turtleneck and light blue jeans. A swath
of tawny-brown hair covered one eye, but left the other, quiet forest green in
color, exposed. So this is Trowa Kattyena thought to herself. Hey at least it
was her own thought this time. However any other thoughts she might have been
even thinking of thinking stopped when Trowa helped the other passenger out of
the car. Kattyena's heart rammed painfully into her throat as she stopped dead.
No, it can't be...but she knew she would recognize that face anywhere. And
truly although battered, bandaged, and somewhat the worse for wear, it was
definitely him smiling weakly at her, his platinum gold hair playfully tousled
by the light sea breeze, his blue eyes had smudges of sleeplessness under them,
but they retained their sparkle. It couldn't be anyone else standing there,
with his incredible beauty that was so like that of the bared sword blade he
used to describe the traditional warriors. Kattyena felt a pressure building
inside of her, and although her brain still catching up to what was happening,
her soul of souls knew. With tremendous yell, she ran joyously towards the
young angel that had captured her heart. Quatre was alive.
[I told you it was only a little longer koibito...]
-OWARI-
(End) part 2
Author's Note(s)/Personal Disclaimers/Rambling: Well I like this one better. I
hope others do too. I thought of ending it here but I wasn't sure. It's a good
place to conclude, but I don't really know whether I feel like it's finished. I
guess I'll make it your (the reader's) job to decide. I don't know if I could
write more if I wanted to. Does it feel unconcluded to you? Well anyways...I
hope this one made the Quatre fans a little happier...O.o;; You shoulda seen my
friend when she read the first part.
-K is reading TC's story-
TC: Ummm hey Inert could you remove all sharp object's from around her?
I: Sure...
K: -mumble mumble- (reading slightly aloud.) Quatre...blah blah blah...what?
What? Quatre...?
-K's head snaps up in a nastily predatory way from the page-
-TC looks distressed ......-
K: Quatre...? You killed...him off?
-eyes narrow-
TC: Ummmm well ... you know I've always been fond of those angsty
fics...nuthin too disney for me...and well uhhh y'see...
K: You.....killed...Quatre?
-posture shifts to one frighteningly close to that of a hunting 'raptor
TC: Uhhh yeah....'fraid so...
K: You....
-K spins suddenly and rapidly hits Inert several times...viciously...he protests
that he didn't do anything...-
TC: Ummmm.....Don't worry...even with him dead the story'll be really cute in
the second part...I think you'll like it...
K: So he's not dead?
TC: No, no he's definitely dead...(keeping it a surprise =3) The second part is
about you guys realizing how you felt...-please don't hurt me...-
K: So you killed him off....?
TC: Was for the good of the story! I tell you it's for the best....X.x;;;;
K: But you killed him off?
TC: Uhhh yeahhhh....
K: Just had to be sure before I killed you...
TC: Ack! No...Just lemme finish the story! No don't hurt meeeeeeee
-A chase ensues...K chases TC around the house for fifteen minutes before TC's
mother comes home and K is forced to put the baseball bat down.-
I: Well you only said sharp objects...
Disclaimer(s): I don't own Gundam Wing or the characters and stuff I used from
it...I'm not making money from this, I did it purely for fun...so don't sue
me...I do own my own characters though...and my plotlines...my stuff...O.o;; I'm
making a mess of this aren't I? Well all the standard disclaimers and stuff I
forgot...
