Romancing the Ambergris


Chapter 1:

Soon after Ty and Andy went Paige hunting, Naomi left to go grocery shopping, leaving Abby and Chester by themselves. After finishing their treats, the two went cruising the mall in no particular direction, simple window shopping and enjoying each other's company. At the moment they were inside a small gift shop.

"How tacky is this?" Abby rhetorically asked as she eyed a keychain shaped like Cupid, hanging from one of her fingers.

Chester was standing right next to her. "You really hate Valentine's Day, don't you?" He asked curiously.

Abby closed her eyes for a moment and her frown turned upside down. "Not at all. I mean, I do think it's overly commercialized and I don't really like all this red stuff but…" She looked out the store window and saw a couple holding hands walking by. "I do like seeing people express their love for one another." A chuckle escaped her throat. "I would probably feel different had it not been for Insectiva and Sloppy Joe."

Chester blinked, thought for a minute before saying, "Did-did you say Insectiva and Sloppy Joe?"

"Yep."

"How? Why?" Chester asked bewildered.

"I guess it does sound weird to someone who hasn't heard the story so I better explain myself." Abby stated before telling him of the events that took place on Valentine's Day, three years ago. She explained how Insectiva infected all of town's flower shops with bees while Sloppy Joe handed out Valentine's cards that cause people to drool uncontrollable, all cause they both felt unloved and excluded. How she and her brother tricked them into coming to the same place so they could trap them but didn't count on the gross criminals falling in love. Seeing the two outsiders finding love within one another made Abby finally realize the true meaning of Valentine's Day.

"Man, that's a really cute but kind of messed-up love story." Chester said once she had finished. The duo was longer in the gift store but was walking thru the mall. "You didn't let them go thou, did you?"

"Of course not, that would be totally irresponsible. We let them be lovey-dovey with one another for an hour or so before arresting them." Abby replied. "That was also the Valentine's Day I got together with Greg. Hey, me and Greg has the same anniversary as Sloppy Joe and Insectiva. Never thought of that."

"Hoping for another Valentine's Card from him this year?" Chester asked with a friendly smile. Subconsciously thou he was hoping Abby had no more interest in her former boyfriend.

"Nah, that's in the past." Abby replied. "What about you, Chester? Any special Valentine's memories?"

Her words hit him like a brick and Chester stopped in his tracks. He could feel Kid Rot's crocked fingers on his shoulder and his malicious voice whispering into his ear. "Oh, another tragic memory. Come on, break down in front of her and cry. You can probably score some sympathy points."

"Chester?" The concerned tone of his best friend brought him out of his trance.

"S-sorry, I-I was just um, thinking of something. Hey, you think we can go to the record store? I feel like checking out some new CDs." The polyester clad boy asked, pointing in the direction of the store he wanted to visit.

"Um, sure." Abby answered and they headed towards the aforementioned shop. As they walked, Abby glanced at her friend. She had known him long enough to know when he was tense. 'He seems upset about something. What I said must have opened up some old wounds.'

As they approached the record store, Chester seemed to notice something that immediately brightened his spirit and he started picking up speed. Abby soon realized he was running to a poster mounted up outside the store.

"Black Shrike Larder is coming to Ringworm for a Valentine Concert. That's huge!" Chester enthusiastically declared.

Abby came to stand next to her best friend and eyed the poster. Four young men, all with long hair, one wore a brown leather jacket while another was shirtless and had a golden cross necklace. All posing in front of a landscape of stakes. They certainly looked like the kind of band her friend would be a fan of. "They look cool. Are they any good?" She asked, flashing Chester a smile.

"They're the best. Man, I can't believe I haven't heard of this concert until now."

Abby raised an eyebrow. "Um Chester, this poster has been up for over a month and news of this has been on every social media for weeks. How could you have missed it?"

"I'm not like LabRat, Abby. I'm more of an outdoors type. I rather tend to my garden or hike in the woods than sit in front of a computer all day." Chester stated, crossing his arms in fake indigent.

"Oh Chester, you're the last of a dying breed." Abby teased in good fun before turning her gaze back at the poster. "So, planning on going?"

"I-I don't know. I would need to check my schedule."

"Chester, few people work as hard as you do. If you ask me, you should take a break and enjoy yourself for once."

Chester's face lit up. He was always amazed at how easy it was for Abby to make him feel better. "You think so? Okay, I'll buy me a ticket then." He looked around. "So where am I supposed to buy it?"

"Um, the internet." Abby replied.

"Oh yeah, that makes sense." Chester said, slightly embarrassed. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and started typing. "Let's see, how do I look something up on the internet again?"

"Just hand that to me." Abby said, holding out her palm. Her best friend hesitantly placed the phone in her hand. "Geez, you're as bad as my grandma." Abby sighed and started typing.

Chester never minded Abby's teasing. Unlike the bullies at school, he knew Abby would never want to hurt him and only teased him in good fun. Their friendship at this point was strong enough for them to have a few jokes at the others expense.

"Here you go. Just click buy and you've got yourself those tickets." Abby said as she handed him his cell phone.

"Thanks." Chester exclaimed before looking at the little screen and his eyes suddenly dilated. "A-Abby…I will have to enter my bank code here before I can buy so can you give me some privacy? I mean, not that I don't trust you I would just feel more comfortable if I was by myself."

Abby raised an eyebrow. She could tell he was lying but she could tell he just wanted some privacy. "Okay." She replied with a shrug. "I wait for you inside." The redhead walked into the record store but she didn't go long. As soon as she was inside, she hid behind a cardboard cut-out of Celine Dion. From there she could see and hear what her friend was doing.

Chester sighed before turning off his phone and pocketed it. "Seems I can't afford going on another concert." He said with a sigh before gazing up at the poster. "Maybe it's for the best." He smiled sadly. "If it's a Valentine concert, it would be weird to go by myself."

"I can't believe it." A familiar voice exclaimed and Chester immediately spun around to face its owner.

"Kent." He unintentionally squeaked.

"Yeah, I saw you looking at this poster and I thought; there's no way that loser could have a date for a Valentine's concert and not even he would be pathetic enough to go alone." Kent mused in a condescending tone, trying to supress his laughter.

Chester's lips curved into a scowl as rage started building up inside of him. His fists clenched so hard his nails dug into the skin of his palm.

Kid Rot's image appeared next to him. "Are you really gonna let this nobody talk to you that way? Come on Chester, rot him! Rot every cell in his body! It would be so easy."

"Then I overheard you saying you didn't even have money to buy tickets." Kent continued before letting out a hearty laugh. "Ha! How dirt poor are you? Are your parents' hobos or something? Seriously, if you can't afford to watch this outdated crap maybe you should get a job"

"Shut up!" A female voice startled both boys. They turned to see an enraged Abby Archer by the record store entrance. "Kent, I'm not gonna let you run your dumb mouth anymore."

The tall jock shot her a lopsided grin before eyeing Chester. "Do you need your girlfriend to defend you, Chester? Maybe you should take her on that-

"Kent!" Abby cut him off. "First off, I am not his girlfriend but I'm sure he could get one if he wanted to. Secondly, Chester's a lot more hardworking than you. After all, he's at the top of the class despite missing almost three years of school."

"Typical ner-

Abby cut him off again. "And thirdly, Chester's parents are dead so maybe you should have the human decency to not insult them in front of him."

Kent blinked, he actually looked rather ashamed of himself. "Yeah, whatever." He shrugged and walked away, mumbling curses under his breath.

After seeing their burly classmate leave, Abby turned her attention to her blonde friend. "Are you okay, Chester?"

Chester's throat felt thick and his eyes stung. He heard the voice of Kid Rot echo inside his head. "Yes, cry. Break down in front of her. Show her how weak you are."

"A-Abby, if it's alright with you I-I think I'll go home now. I-I have a lot to-to do." Chester said, not really looking at her.

"Yeah, that's fine." Abby nodded. Chester turned on his heels and started walking away, head low and pockets stuffed with his hands.

Seeing him so depressed always made Abby feel sad. Chester was a good person and didn't deserve to be treated like that. Certainly someone who's working so hard with Grossology, schoolwork and whatever else deserved to have fun every once in a while.

Abby gazed at the poster.


The Next day, 1 day until Valentine's Day…

The overbearing sound of an electric drill echoed thru out the Gaglab. The source was Andy who was sitting on his knees atop a dark, metal hull while drilling bolts into a titanium plate.

Once he'd securely bolted it to the rest of the hull, he shut down the drill and took of his ear mufflers. It wasn't until then that he heard the voices. "Hey, Andy!"

He looked down and saw LabRat, Ty and Naomi glaring at him. Hermes was not on his usual spot atop his master's shoulder but was curled up against Naomi's bosom, being gently patted by the bespectacled girl.

"We've been trying to get your attention for nearly five minutes." LabRat stated.

"You've been frightening Hermes with all that noise." Naomi said.

"Whoops. Sorry guys." Andy apologized as he sat down on his rump and skidded down to the floor.

"What are you working on anyway?" LabRat asked, half annoyed/half curious.

"A submarine."

LabRat blinked. "A what?"

"A submarine or as the European's call it, a U-boat." Andy clarified.

"Why are you building a submarine?" Ty asked, bewildered.

"Well, remember yesterday when Paige was freaking out because her favourite perfume was discontinued?" The chubby teenager asked rhetorically.

"Yeah."

Andy gestured to a nearby table where various chemical filled test tubes and beakers were stationed. "Well, ever since then I've been trying to recreate Oceania Gold from scratch but one ingredient still alludes me; Ambergris."

Ty and Naomi exchanged puzzled looks before turning their attention back to Andy. "What's ambergris?" Naomi asked.

Andy grinned from ear to ear. "I'm happy you asked, Naomi cause I've prepared a little presentation." He grabbed LabRat by his sleeve and dragged him to the Gaglab's main hall. Ty and Naomi followed them.

LabRat sighed in annoyance before sitting down on a chair. Ty sat down on a chair next to him and Naomi then sat down on her boyfriend's lap, the two lovebirds exchanged blushing smiles.

Andy was typing on one of the smaller computers and soon a large screen descended down from the ceiling. The screen showed a photo of what seemed to be a lumpy, yellow rock with tints of white and black.

Andy got in front of the screen with a long pointer which he tapped against the aforementioned rock. "Ambergris. For centuries these highly valued, yellow tainted stones has been collected from beaches all over the world to be used for women's perfumes. Seriously, a nugget of this can be worth millions of dollars. For a long time no one knew where these stones came from but now we do." The chubby brunette explained before awkwardly pausing. "Um, Naomi do you think you can click the mouse so we can see the next picture?"

Naomi blinked before reluctantly getting off her boyfriend's lap and walked over to the computer. Once she'd clicked the mouse, the image on screen changed to an illustration of a large whale biting down on a colossal squid.

Andy pointed to the whale. "Physeter microcephalus, also known as the sperm whale is giant toothed whale. Popularized from the famous novel, Moby Dick. Its primary prey is squids and as we all know, squids are mostly soft-bodied except for one body part that is so hard the whale can't digest it…Naomi, can you click again?"

Naomi rolled her eyes but did what was asked of her.

The screen now played an animated video of a sperm whale puking up what looked like dozens of tiny black beaks. "Their beaks. Usually, the sperm whale vomits up the hard parts its cant digest." Andy explained before clearing his throat.

Naomi had to click again.

Now the screen showed an animated video of a squid's beaks traveling thru a whale's intestine. "Sometimes however these squid beaks will travel thru the whale's digestion track and get stuck in its lowers intestine. Over time, more and more partly digested beaks gets stuck and eventually forms a large, round stone. This often gives the whale constipation or even causes the intestine to burst."

"Awe, poor whale." Naomi cooed.

"And that's how ambergris is formed." Andy finished.

"Wait, that's it?" Ty asked, a little confused.

"Well, the processes that creates it is somewhat of a mystery but we know it starts like this." Andy clarified.

Ty tapped his finger against his chin. "So, what you're saying is that a large number of women out there pays top dollars to spray constipated whale faeces on themselves?"

"Essentially, yes." The chubby teenager replied.

Ty started laughing uncontrollable while clutching his stomach. "Oh, that's rich!"

"I don't get it." Naomi said, tapping her chin. "Does this ambergris smell any good?"

"Nope, it smells like dung." Andy answered. "People doesn't want ambergris for its odour but rather as a fixative. It helps the smell of the perfume last longer."

"So, how do you plan to get this whale poo, Andy?" Ty asked, having recovered from his laughing attack.

"I was just about to tell you. Naomi, can you…"

The girl once again tapped the computer mouse.

The large screen now showed a map of the ocean just off shore of Ringworm City. "About two years, a sperm whale with a tracking chip stopped moving only a few miles outside of Ringworm. Marine biologists confirmed the whale had died and retrieved the chip, leaving the carcass at the bottom of the ocean."

"Ah, so you plan to recover the ambergris from the whale's last known location. Clever." Ty stated with a proud smile.

Now LabRat raised a hand. "I just like to say that I already knew all of this. I just wanted to let Andy have his time in the spotlight."

"Thank you, LabRat." Andy acknowledged with a nod.

"However, I must remind you that less than 1% of all sperm whales actually produces ambergris. How can you be so sure this specific whale will have it?" The young scientist asked sceptically.

"The answer to that is quite simple." Andy replied before stating in a completely dead serious tone of voice, "The power of love!"

LabRat blinked like he couldn't believe what he just heard. "What?"

"I've recently seen hundreds of movies where everything goes the main character's way cause he does it for love and since I love Paige, this sperm whale is bound to have what I seek."

LabRat leaned his head back and groaned deeply. "It's impossible to argue with you."

"I know." Andy said innocently.

LabRat then turned his attention at Andy's submarine in the making, suspended between two weight-carrying bars. The young scientist narrowed his eyes. There was something oddly familiar about the subaquatic vessel. It had an old fashion designed, elliptical at the front with a flat ruder at the back. Its hull was grey and dark brown.

The dark skinned shut-in was suddenly hit by a realization. "Wait, this is Lance Boil's old sub! The one he used when he shrunk down to microscopic size and invaded Ty's body."

Ty shivered. "Oh, that was one embarrassing episode."

"Yep, that's the one." Andy stated. "Since I need to finish the perfume in time for Valentine's Day I thought it was better to modify an old submarine rather than build a new one from scratch."

"Andy," LabRat sighed in frustration, "you can't just take evidence out of the Gross-Vault and use it however you want. It goes against regulations."

"It's all fine!" Andy happily proclaimed while shoving a piece of paper onto the taller boy's chest. "The Director gave me the go-ahead."

LabRat eyed the paper the brunette had handed him. It was an order, signed by The Director, giving Andy permission to use anything he wanted out of the Gross-Vault. "How did you manage to get him to sign this?" He asked baffled.

Andy smirked proudly. "I did a few favours for him."


Flashback!

"There, all done Mr. Director. You now have your very own Slimebook account and I've upgraded your virus protection program." Andy exclaimed. He was sitting in front of a computer in The Director's mom's house.

The Director himself fidgeted next to him. "Good, good. Now, can you show me how to open my e-mails?"


"Now, unless you have any more questions, I need to resume my work." Andy said, turning on his heels and walked back to the unfinished submarine. He picked up a welding torch and tried to kindle it with a flame ignitor.

Ty and Naomi got closer to their classmate. "Um Andy, do I need to remind you that Valentine's Day is tomorrow?" The spikey haired boy stated. "So, I don't think you'll be able finish that submarine, find the ambergris, complete the perfume and present it to Paige in that small amount of time."

Andy blinked, still not facing his friends. "You're right."

Ty exchanged smiles with his girlfriend before giving his attention back to his best friend. "Good, so maybe you should-

"Bring Paige with me when I set sail. That's a great idea." Andy proclaimed, first now turning around to face his teammates. "And while I search for the ambergris, me and her will have plenty of time to bond. After all, what's more romantic than a cruise out on the sea?"

Ty rolled his eyes. "Well, most of those cruises takes place above the water and none of them include searching for whale poop."

"Ty, you disappoint me." Andy said in a neutral tone of voice. "I thought you were supposed to be a romantic. Like, what are you planning to do for Naomi this year?"

"Oh, I got plans." Ty said with a grin before taking Naomi's hand and pulling her to him, holding her tightly by her midriff while staring into her turquoise eyes. "I won't reveal anything thou cause I love the look of surprise on your face. Not that there isn't anytime I don't like the look of your face."

Naomi giggled. "Oh Ty, you're so sappy." She snaked an arm around his neck and the two locked lips. The couple got so enthralled in their little make out session they didn't even notice the glares of discomfort their peers sent them.

"Will you two get a room?" LabRat finally said.

Realizing they'd been making out in front of their friends, the two disconnected. Their faces blushing. In times like these they could get a little bit lost in each other.

"So, LabRat. Got any plans for Valentine's Day?" Andy asked mostly to cut the tension but it appear to have had the opposite effect cause now, LabRat looked like he'd been caught snitching on the mob or something.

"What?! Of course not! Why would I have anything planned for V-Day, Andy?!" LabRat practically shouted as he loomed over the shorter boy. "I'm a loner living in a lab. Where would I meet girls, any less any that would want to ask me out?"

Andy raised a palm in surrender. "Calm down. I was just asking a question. I'll um, go back fixing that U-boat now." With that, the chubby teenager turned on his heels and went back to his submarine.

"Geez, LabRat. I haven't seen you this stressed since Hermes almost got eaten." Ty said as he walked up to the older boy and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, why wouldn't it be? I mean besides Andy repurposing confiscated Grossology tech for his date everything is like it always is." LabRat replied. His shoulders then deflated and he turned away. "Like it always is." He repeated with a sigh as he started sauntering out of the room. Hermes, still perched atop Naomi's shoulder watched with sorrowful eyes as his owner walked away.

"Did we do anything wrong?" Naomi asked.

"What? No," Ty waved off the suggestion "but I do wonder what has gotten LabRat so down in the dumps?"

"Maybe he's lonely."

Ty raised an eyebrow. "You think so?"

"I mean, he doesn't go to school, he doesn't have a girlfriend or boyfriend. It seems like the only friends he has are you and Abby."

Hermes let out a little squeak.

"Oh, and you Hermes." Naomi corrected and scratched Hermes under the chin, to the rodent's delight.

"So, what do you suggest? That we set him up with someone?" Ty asked.

"Not necessarily but I think we should do something to show him how much we care." Naomi stated and leaned back against a desk.

Hermes saw it as his que to leap off the girl's shoulder and land on a keyboard, "accidentally" turning on the computer in front of it.

Naomi turned around. "What's this?" She asked as she eyes the content on screen.

With a skeptical eye, Ty sat down in the chair by the computer. "It's a private chatroom on Slimebook. Seems like LabRat's been chatting with someone called NightCutie87."

Naomi blinked. "A girl?"

"She says her name is Alicia Lamprodemn." Ty answered, scrolling thru the plethora of replies LabRat had received from this mysterious girl.

"They've exchanged their real names?" Naomi gasped.

The spikey-haired teenager smiled. "Yeah, and she says his last name is cute and nothing to be ashamed of. Man, they seem to really hit-it off." Ty then reached the end of the conversation and his eyes dilated. He blinked a few times to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. "She asked him out!"

"What!?" Naomi asked in disbelief and leaned over her boyfriend's shoulder. "Labby I find it difficult to ask out guys at my school cause I am too shy but I don't have the same problem with you because I know you're nice. Would you like to meet me on Valentine's Day IRL? Does not have to be a date (although I'd like it to be). We can just meet and have fun." The bespectacled girl read off the screen, the messages ending with a kissing emoji. "So that's why LabRat's been so stressed." Naomi gazed in the direction her solemn teammate had wandered, her hands clutched atop her chest. "He's distraught cause he don't know how to respond to someone who wants to see him." The clicking of keyboard buttons made her turn back. "Ty, what are you doing?"

Her boyfriend grinned mischievously. "I'm gonna give our agoraphobic friend a little help in the romance department."

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea." Naomi said hesitantly.

"You were the one who wanted us to set him up with someone." Ty pointed out, giving her an over-the-shoulder glance.

"Actually, that was your idea." Naomi corrected, frowning.

"Really? No wonder it's so brilliant." Ty laughed at his own jive before pressing send.


Meanwhile, at the Archer's residence…

In her room, Abby read the text on her computer screen. 'Transaction Complete. You've Purchased 2 Tickets to Black Shrike Valentine's Concert!'

She let out a sigh (if it was in exasperation or relief she did not know), reclined in her chair and speed-dialled her best friend on her cell phone.


At the Ferris' residence…

Despite having a rather small house, Chester's grandparents had a rather spacious cellar. Placing out a few thick futons and it became a perfect make-shift dojo for him and his grandpa.

"Are you ready, boy?" Thomas asked, wearing a white tank top and black sweatpants.

"Always has to be." Chester responded and got into a fighting position. He wore a similar tank top to his grandpa but his was black (and polyester of course).

"Alright, here I come." Thomas said before trying to punch Chester but his grandson deflected it. He tried again and Chester once again deflected it. Next, Thomas tried a roundhouse kick but Chester caught his leg with his arm and pushed forward, tripping him to the floor.

Thomas lifted his head up a bit and smiled at his grandson. "Good job, son but you forgot something."

"What?"

Thomas clutched Chester's left ankle with his feet and tripped him. Before Chester knew it, he was on the floor with his grandpa on top of him, his arm in a vice like grip. "Once you're opponent is down, make sure to pin him."

"Yeah, I shall remember that." Chester grunted, somewhat disappointed in himself.

Thomas backed off and chuckled a little. "You've improved a lot, Chester."

The blonde teenager rose onto his feet. "A bit but I'm still nowhere near as good as Abby. You should see her fight, grandpa. She makes it look as natural as water running thru a stream."

Amused, Thomas Ferris grinned and tilted his head a bit. "So, that's why you're training so hard. You want to impress a girl."

Chester blushed like a tomato. "N-no. I just-I was just bringing her up as an example. I mean, I want to be able to match her talent one day."

"If you say so." Thomas shrugged. 'Like you can fool me, Chester. You talk about her nearly every day.'

"Come on, let's go a few more rounds." Chester exclaimed and retook his stance.

Thomas Ferris was proficient in two types of martial arts, Kato and Judo, both very defence oriented which was just what Chester needed. The mutant teen had vowed to never use his rot powers directly on another person. He would only use it to reform his surroundings to his benefit, destroy his enemies' equipment or at really serious moments, kill monsters (but never people). As such, he needed a way to defend himself without using his powers. Besides, Chester was afraid his Kid Rot persona might start influence him again if he used his powers aggressively.

Thomas was about to throw another punch when they heard the sound of Chester's phone buzzing. "Oh, wait a minute, gramps. I'll take this." The blonde Grossologist said before going to pick up his phone from a nearby table.


"Hey." Chester's cheery voice crackled thru Abby's phone.

"Hey there, Chester." Abby chirped back. "So, do you remember that concert we were talking about yesterday?"

"Black Shrike Larder? Yes, I remember."

"Well, as so happen my dad is a fan of them too and ordered two tickets but then some stuff came up and he couldn't go so he gave them to me." Abby explained, telling the lie she'd rehearsed several times by herself.

Unfortunately for her, Harvey Archer went past her door at that moment and overheard what she said so he promptly entered her room. "Don't say that kiddo. I can make some room in my schedule to go see a concert with you."

Abby's superfast reflexes kicked in and she turned off her phone as she spun her chair around. "No, dad! Shush, please."

True to his character, Harvey made a zipper-motion in front of his lips and simple stood there in silence.

Abby took a deep breath and called Chester's number again. "Hey again."

"What happened?" Chester asked, perplexed.

"Nothing." Abby thought up an excuse and crossed her left leg over her right one, trying to regain some confidence. "Um, my cat jumped up in my lap and I dropped my phone. So, do you want to go to the concert with me?"

Chester seem to hesitate. "Well, I want to go but…don't you think it will be kind of weird. I mean, you and me at a Valentine concert, wont people think that we're like… on a date?" It sounded like he almost choked on that last word.

"That-that might be the case but I really don't care what people think when they see us. Unless…you feel uncomfortable about it."

"No, no. I-I have no problems with it what-so-ever. I am certain it will be fun." Chester desperately tried to reassure her.

"Okay, see you tomorrow then for our non-date. I'll e-mail you the time and place later."

"O-okay, s-see you then." The nervous boy stammered.

"Will be fun to see yah." Abby said before hanging up. She then swirled her chair around to face her father. "Sorry dad. I kind of panicked."

Harvey made another zipper-motion. "That's fine sweetie but why did you feel like you had to lie to that boy?"

Abby sighed. "Chester doesn't want to burden anyone. He's the kind of guy that feels guilty if you try to do anything for him so I told a white little lie to make it seem like I've made less effort."

"I see…" Her father said while rubbing his chin. "Still I wouldn't mind coming with you kids. I can buy a ticket myself and chaperon you. You know, I went to quite a few rock 'n roll gigs myself when I was at your age."

"I can imagine but this time I really just want it to be me and Chester." Abby stated. She often felt rather guilty whenever she denied her father anything. He was just so nice and insistent but after all these years she'd learned how to tell him no.

"I see." Harvey mused and winked. "You have a little crush on this boy."

"N-no!" Abby stammered as a blush spread across her face. "He's my friend, a friend that has been thru a lot and has worked really hard. The least he deserve is a little bit of fun. I-I'm being a god friend by showing him a good time."

"Oh come on now, I think I can see when my little girl has caught the love bug." Harvey proclaimed jovially. "Just promise me to be careful. I wouldn't want to be a grandpa too soon."

"Dad!"


The next morning…

Greg 'Rudy' Bronzy was sleeping soundly in his bed as he did every Sunday morning. Unlike every other Sunday morning thou, he was about to be rudely awakened.

The sound of something hitting his window abruptly woke him up. "Huh, what?" He asked drowsily as he looked around, still half asleep. His window was hit again, startling the teenage heartthrob. Groaning in annoyance, he got out of bed and walked to the window.

The glass was hit again and this time Greg saw what it was. Not a stone but a heart shaped piece of chocolate. The moment he opened the window, he was meet by the ruckus chorus of "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, GREG!"

Looking down, Greg saw no less than three girls from his class, all holding up heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. One of the girls were Molly, the overweight drama student who wore a mint green sweater and pink glasses. The second girl was Kayla, the bucktoothed, half-Asian cheerleader. The third girl was Sanjita, the Indian girl with midnight blue hair, braided into pigtails and wore a moss green skirt.

Greg sighed and pinched his nose bridge. "Great, it's that time of year again."


Later that afternoon, at Ringworm City docks…

Paige and her two-girl entourage was standing by the piers. The queen bee was tapping her foot impatiently while the girl with the beret was filing her nails and the girl with the diadem seemed to be eyeing some birds flying overhead, fearing one of them might drop a load.

"I can't believe Andy would make me wait like this." Paige groaned. "He said two o'clock and now it's 13:50. I expected him to be at least a half-hour early for my sake."

"What exactly did the message he sent you say?" The diadem girl asked.

"To meet him at the docks so he could properly ask me to be his Valentine and that this time I wouldn't be disappointed."

"I can't believe that pig-boy still thinks he got a chance with you." The beret wearing girl scoffed.

Paige gave her friend a harsh glare. "For your information, that pig-boy is the reason why our skin is as flawless as it is right now. Remember, he invented the zit-ray."

The less dominant blond froze up. She didn't expect Paige to defend the pudgy guy and if there was one thing she didn't want to do was to oppose her leader. "I know, what I meant was um…eh…"

At that moment a huge submarine emerged out of the water at the very end of the pier. It had a light green paintjob with the Grossology logo stamped by the tail. Paige and her friends all gasped upon seeing it.

A hatchet on the submarine's roof opened up and Andy popped up, wearing a navy blue sailor suit with shoulder pads. "Happy Valentine's Day my golden haired sugar cookie!" He enthusiastically proclaimed but was then startled when he spotted Paige's two friend. "Um, Paige, why are your friends here?"

"I brought them here. You never said I couldn't bring a plus-one."

"Don't you mean a plus-two?" Beret girl muttered to herself, annoyed.

Andy sweat dropped. "Are you sure they want them to come with us on this?" He felt a little bit bad for trying to get rid of the two girls but come on, was a little alone time with his dream girl too much to ask for?

"Sure, they got nothing better to do." Paige replied before turning to her friends. "Isn't that right, girls?"

The two girls froze up. "No, of-of course not." Diadem girl stammered.

"Yeah, it's not like we had Valentine's dates of our own or anything." Beret girl lied, hiding a Valentine's card she'd received from an admirer. Her friend with the diadem were also hiding a similar card behind her back.

"Okay, just give me a minute. I just need to um, make some room inside the sub." Andy said nervously before dropping down into the submarine.

Inside was a scarlet red couch with heart shaped cushions, surrounded by scented candles and rose pedals. Andy started to frantically blow out the candles and tossed them onto the couch before gathering up as many rose pedals he could get his hands on and placed them on the couch too. He then pushed the couch across the room and pressed it into a torpedo tube. The chubby teenager then rushed to the ship's control board and pressed a button, firing the couch along with all its potential erotica and romance into the ocean.

Andy exhaled and inhaled. "I guess it was an unrealistic expectation anyway."

He re-emerged out of the submarine's hatchet. "Welcome aboard, girls! We're about to set sail on the fanciest underwater vessel of the seven seas!" Andy declared theatrically as the girls crossed the pier.

Paige was the first to try to board the submarine. Taking her by the wrist, Andy pulled her onto the ship's deck where she had steady footing.

"You should have installed a ramp." The alpha blonde complained.

"Sorry for that, dear." Andy exclaimed and kissed her hand. Paige rolled her eyes before descending thru the hatchet. Andy proceeded with helping the other two onto the ship (although he didn't kiss their hands).

Once inside, the girls started looking around. "Wow, did you really build this?" The blonde with the diadem asked, sounding genuinely impressed.

"Yep." Andy replied proudly, straightening his suit.

Paige approached him. "Does it have a name?"

"The sub?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Paige nodded.

"Um, yeah." Andy blushed. "It's called Paige II."

"Really?" Paige squealed, cupping her cheeks.

"Of course. Although she isn't as beautiful as Paige number one." Andy said, remembering Ty's seduction of Naomi from yesterday.

"Wow, I haven't had a boat named after me since dad bought that yacht." Paige exclaimed. "So is this what you wanted to show me?"

"No, this is just the first great surprise." Andy replied before taking some distance. "Listen up, crew. We are on a mission from God to recreate our favourite girl's most precious perfume."

"YES!" Paige shouted and happily jumped into the air. "Andy, if you succeed with this, I will kiss you!"

The plump boy's face blushed like a tomato. His brain stopped working for a moment. 'A kiss? A kiss! Oh yes! I'm almost there! Now I must play it cool.' Andy thought only to then start chuckling like a brain-dead moron. Once he realized that the girls were staring at him like he'd gone insane did he shut his mouth and cleared his throat. "I-I mean, I shall do my best."

"What a dweeb." Beret girl whispered to diadem girl who giggled a little.

"However, before I can finish it I need one last ingredient which can only be found at the bottom of the sea." Andy explained.

"And what ingredient would that be?" Paige asked.

"Ambergris."

"Ambergris? What's that?" The queen bee asked puzzled.

"Not important." Andy waved his hands dismissively. After his presentation yesterday, Naomi suggested not to tell the blonds since they would probably find it disgusting.

"It's a type of stone found in the gut of constipated sperm whales." Diadem girl blurted out.

"Eeeeeewwwwww!" Paige and beret girl squealed in unison.

Andy stared at the blonde with the diadem. Paige's flunkies rarely spoke and when they did, they usually just parroted whatever their leader's opinions. In other words, they weren't very smart. He did not expect her friend with a diadem to spout facts not even Ty knew.

"Is that true, Andy?" Paige asked desperately.

"Yes, it's a common ingredient in a lot of perfumes but I promise, it's not as gross as it sounds."

Paige looked ready to throw up but then took a deep inhale and sighed. "If lavishing myself with whale vomit is what's needed to smell the scent of Oceania Gold, so be it."

"That's the spirit, my deep fried little Twinkie." Andy cheered.

And so, Paige II descended into the water and set sail for deeper water. Its maiden voyage to find the coveted ambergris had begun.


Meanwhile, in a forested cove outside City limits…

Sloppy Joe's deep chuckle echoed between the dilapidated walls of the old abandoned boathouse. "S.S. Joe is finally seaworthy." The grimy criminal said as he took a step back to admire his handiwork. His new submarine was built in the likeness of a shark, wielded together by mismatching green and grey pieces of scrap metal. It had two yellow tinted windows that resembled jagged eyes and Joe had taken the liberty to draw a big sharp-toothed smile at the front of U-boat as well as stripes along its back.

"Tiger sharks are known as the garbage cans of the ocean. A fitting motive for me." Sloppy Joe explained to nobody. "And for the perfect pirate vessel, I need the perfect pirate costume." He inspected the new clothes he was wearing. Sloppy Joe was now dressed like a pirate captain (or like a pirate captain in a Saturday morning cartoon) with a long tailed, red coat on top of a white shirt, tall black boats, black pants and a black hat with a Jolly Roger printed on it.

"And now to call for my crew." The grime covered man mused as he picked up a bucket full of putrid meat and fish heads. An assembly of happy flies were swarming around it.

"Chum, chum, chumy, chumy, chum, chum, chumy, chumy, chum, chum…" Sloppy Joe sang to himself as he danced across the boathouse till he reached the edge and threw the rotten meat into the water.

At first, the chum only seemed to attract small fish but soon two enormous shadows approached the boathouse. The bloody water started bubbling as the two sea monsters devoured the putrid meat. They then rose out of the water, casting their summoner in shadows.

Sloppy Joe chuckled. "Yes, come to me, my bloodhounds of the sea. You will sniff out my ambergris and then…Ringworm City will never smell the same again."


Author's Note:

Alright, chapter 1 is done and both the main story and the subplots are underway. A good use of time I would say.

I actually debated with myself for a quite a while on weather Abby & Chester would go to a concert or a hockey game. I even wrote out storyboards for both scenarios. In the last minute I decided to go with the concert. Why? Character development. In the hockey game scenario Abby would once again have been the one upset about Valentine's Day and Chester would be the one buying tickets to cheer her up (since hockey is more her thing). I think you can see the problem with this. Season 3 is supposed to be a continuation of season 2 and by the end of that season's Valentine's Special, Abby had already learned to appreciate the holiday as well as romantic gestures in general. Had I gone with the hockey scenario I would have undone what Abby had learned in that episode. This is a trope I see in a lot of fanfics. Authors can't come up with a new character arc so they just rehash what the character already went thru in the original series. I know I'm guilty of it. I think as fans we get so used to a character being one way thru out a story that we kind of forget that've changed by the end of it. I might still do the hockey game as a non-canonical one-shot or something later.

I also managed to work in a scene were Chester practises his martial arts. I felt this was necessary. After all, if we only heard Abby say that Chester was a hard worker without actually see him work hard it would just seem like Abby was blowing smoke. Also, we got to see Grandpa Thomas again, which is nice. Besides Abby, he is probably the most positive influence in Chester's life right now.

Greg/Rudy is still a chick magnet. In this chapter I gave him a surname, Bronzy (an homage to Sylvia Branzei, the author of the Grossology children books). I also named dropped three of the background characters from the show. Molly I think most people remember as the fat girl that acted on stage along with Abby in the episode When Ya Gotta Go and she was one of the contestants on You Heave, You Leave. The buck-toothed brunette that I named Kayla is seen in a multitude of episodes. Sanjita, the Indian girl was not in the series as often and was mostly part of crowd shots in episodes such as Squirm and Lights Out. Still, I liked her design.Don't worry, these characters won't be important to the story. It was just a funny little scene to establish that it's now Valentine's Day.

So now you all know everything about ambergris, well, the basics anyway. And before any of you internet experts tries to correct me, I know that most perfume makers' nowadays uses synthetic ambergris since selling the real stuff is illegal in many countries but for the sake of this plot let's say that in the Grossology universe no one has figured how to make synthetic ambergris.

As always, your reviews are highly appreciated. Tell me what you like/disliked about this chapter and as always…

See you next time, my fellow Grossologists!