Miyuki's Zetsuai Page Zetsuai 1989/Bronze
Revenge of the Koji, Part 1
By miyuki-chan

Author's notes: According to the script I'm meant to kill off Hirose, Darth Akihito and Takafumi. I can't do it… Takafumi's just TOO cute to be killed off, and I like Hirose and Akihito! Good job this is just a parody cos I don't have to follow the canon (well, can you really see Izumi and Katsumi together? Nor can I…)! Maybe I can kill off another character instead…

Mucho apologies due to George Lucas, everyone involved in the making of this film, Star Wars fans everywhere (especially the poor benighted soul who put up the script for Return of the Jedi in all good faith – thanks, whoever you are, I'd been searching all over for that – only to have it hijacked by a manic yaoi fangirl) and the entire Star Wars franchise for my mutilation of the series, and last but by no means least to Minami Ozaki, the world's greatest mangaka, for my shameless appropriation of her characters…

***

(I hope George Lucas doesn't ever find out about this, I can do without getting sued for every penny I've got…)

*dramatic music, scrolling message, da da da dee dah de de de dee dah… you know the drill…*

Star Wars Episode VI – Revenge of the Koji

The return of the demented almost-a-Jedi Koji Nanjo to his home planet whose name has become lost in the tangled mess that is the Star Wars franchise, in a misguided attempt to rid the galaxy once and for all of the foul pestilence known as Eri the Hutt (the only creature in the known universe who has managed to keep Katsumi Shibuya quiet for more than five minutes at a stretch, and that is mainly because he's not quite all there at the moment: on the other hand, Eri the Hutt can also silence him by asking him how, exactly, does he think he's going to pay her this month) couldn't have come at a worse time.

Unknownst to Koji, because he was never very good at keeping up with current events or family matters, his equally demented half-brothers are making yet another attempt to take over the entire universe with the aid of the New, Improved Death Porsche Mark II (now with go-faster stripes!). Which hasn't been finished yet, but the idea's there, and that's all that really matters…

The evil and more than slightly cracked Nanjos hope that this ultimate weapon will spell death for the pathetic handful of rebels that remain after their utter trashing in the last sequel. Considering the Death Porsche's frankly pitiful showing in the first outing, why they think this will work is still open to some debate, especially considering how well they did in the previous sequel without the dubious help of the Death Porsche. Still, the help of Darth Akihito (who has finally given up the always tenuous grip he had on sanity) means things can't go too wrong. Can they?

***

Panorama: Hanging malevolently in the middle of deep space: the New, Improved Death Porsche Mark II, with anti-skid brakes, satellite phone and GPS. It is half-completed… the front half of the structure is intact but the back end isn't there yet owing to construction costs. A few girders shows what still needs to be done. A sign on the side of the huge building site reads 'Another quality building project brought to you by Fett and Sons'. Behind it, a little moon of the general shape and colour of a garden pea and about half as interesting hangs prettily and pointlessly in the blackness of space. It's probably there as part of some kind of extended metaphor about Man and Nature which is completely lost on most of the audience, who only came for the battle scenes. And Izumi in his underwear.

A space ship with decidedly sharklike qualities (huge, sleek, deadly… um, covered in lights) moves slowly and menacingly along, flanked by two littler, decidedly faster ships, Imperial TIE fighters. A tiny shuttle shoots out from the side of the large ship and heads towards the malignant mass that is the half-finished Death Porsche.

***

Inside the huge Death Porsche docking bay, Commander Jamjar, a man with a British accent and a silly name, wearing a grey uniform with what look like Lego bricks stuck to his chest walks confidently (no-one knows why, this guy's quite clearly going to be dog meat by the time the credits roll and has no reason to be confident) up to the ship, now docked. He is surrounded by a large group of the playmobile set men with what look like coal scuttles on their heads.

The shuttle door opens and out strides the half-mad Darth Akihito, dressed in black as ever and wearing his Threatening Helmet which makes the wearer sound like they have terminal asthma (it's still not certain why this is meant to be so scary).

Jamjar: Greetings, Darth Akihito. This is a pleasant surprise.

Darth Akihito (looking round): Surprise? It doesn't look like I caught you that off-guard. (looks a bit blank – no mean feat for someone with a bucket on his head – and clears his throat) Don't bother flattering me, it's not impressive. I'm here to make sure the Death Porsche is operational on time, since I clearly can't trust anyone else.

Jamjar (clutching his chest, slightly squeaky voice, he hasn't realised he's dog meat yet): Excuse me, sir?

Darth Akihito: Are you deaf as well as stupid? I AM HERE TO SUPERVISE THE BUILDING OPERATION BECAUSE YOU ARE AN INCOMPETENT. Got it?

Jamjar (terrified, gasp wince tremble): Sir, we will have this station operational on time.

Darth Akihito: I hope so. Emperor Hirose is coming and you wouldn't want him to have a wasted journey would you?

Jamjar (going even paler, if possible): But sir, these local contractors… they'll never agree to longer hours. Not without more overtime pay…

Darth Akihito (sotto voice): Oh, brother. If you want anything done properly you've got to do it yourself. (Aloud) Then pay them more, dumbass. You seem to be forgetting that we members of the evil galactic Nanjo Corporation Empire are ridiculously wealthy.

Jamjar, no longer looking quite so cocky, salutes, runs off and bursts into tears. Darth Akihito sighs and takes the helmet off with a look of great relief, and fans himself with one hand.

Darth Akihito: It's too damn hot in that stupid thing.

Darth Akihito stomps off in search of chocolate, a stiff drink and a means of contacting Hirose.

***

Back to Tatooine, home of Koji Nanjo, dehydration and various nasty tropical diseases. Huge dunes of sand everywhere (if there is a creator he sure skimped on this planet… it's just sand. He should fire his designer). Somewhere in the middle of all this sand there is meant to be a road, which turns out to be distinguishable from the sand dunes in being a little flatter than they are, but otherwise pretty nondescript, like the landscape, which has never been anything to look at and still isn't. The gigantic sprawling rococo nightmare that is Eri The Hutt's palace (she should fire her designer too) only succeeds in making the place look even worse, if possible. What is it with supervillans and huge hideouts?

Taka (in his usual state of nervous panic): I don't know. Why me? Why do I have to be here if you're the one delivering this message?

Serika rotates her head round and round in that mildly scary sub-Exorcist way and bleeps by way of a response.

Taka: What do you mean I'm a coward? We're going to see Eri the Hutt, of course I'm scared.

The two stop in front of a huge door painted a hideous virulent pink even worse than that of Serika's skirt, with a gold decorative letter 'E' in the middle. Taka stares in horror at this fresh evidence of Eri the Hutt's sheer bad taste, and shudders slightly, Serika looks vacuous as ever.

Taka (in a state of shock over the hideous décor): Well, at least we know this is the right place.

He knocks uncertainly at the door, waits all of two seconds, then turns away.

Taka: It doesn't look like anyone's at home, oh dear, what a shame…

Serika bleeps reproachfully at him and he looks incredulously at her.

Taka (mildly irritated): No, I'm not going to knock again.

A dilapidated little security camera plops out of a hole in the wall besides the door. Someone inside Eri's grotesque pile clearly fancies themselves as funny, it's got one of those gag bloodshot eyeballs on the end. Taka looks at it in mild shock, not quite sure what to make of it. Something inside starts laughing hysterically at the sight of the pair at the door.

Weird adenoidal voice (through a hideous fit of giggles): blurt wurgh groo!

Taka (flushing): …um, pardon?

Serika bleeps at him again.

Taka: Yes, I know I'm meant to be fluent in over six million forms of communication, but I don't think I want to translate that comment, thank you very much.

More bleeping.

Taka: No, I'm not going to tell you what it means.

Taka sulks. Serika rotates her head again. More hideous laughter then the eyeball camera moves shakily back into the wall, a couple of screws falling off it as it goes. Taka and Serika look at one another in mild bewilderment, Taka clearly wanting to get the hell out and not come back, Serika's sheer lack of mental faculties making working out what she is thinking (if anything) difficult.

Suddenly, with a tortured shriek of gears, the immense door opens and the gloomy interior of Eri's desert monstrosity is revealed. Serika immediately blunders straight in. Taka looks around anxiously, clearly wishing for an escape route, then follows Serika in.

Taka: I know I've overused this line already, but I have a really bad feeling about this.

Serika bleeps indistinctly.

Taka: Oh, do be quiet. You really aren't helping.

There is another tortured groan of metal and the door slams heavily back into place. Taka looks round fearfully, expecting some fearsome creature to spring from the shadows any minute. Alien cursing is heard. Serika whistles inquisitively.

Taka: I'm not sure, but I think he said 'it's broken again'. Only he swore a bit more than that.

Aya, a hideous-looking Groupie wearing too much makeup and too little clothing walks up to them brandishing a Zap gun. Taka nearly freaks on the spot.

Aya: whu'dya wun?
(subtitle: What are you doing here?)

Taka: Um… we wish to speak with your most… renowned and, er, beauteous leader, Eri the Hutt, about a matter of some importance.

Serika beeps at him.

Taka (to Serika): Yes, I was just getting to that. (Louder, attempting to sound ingratiating and smiling in a decidedly sickly way) Apparently we have some kind of gift too, but I don't quite know…

Aya (sneeringly): dun'be ztoopit. Ver-urnownt Eri wun'wanus peeketa ve lycesayu. Gi'my ver fiymgi an ge'los.
(subtitle: Don't make me laugh! Her Exaltedness Eri the Hutt does not grant an audience to just anyone! I will take the gift: you must leave!)

Serika beeps a blue streak. Taka shoots her his most poisonous look (which, as poisonous looks go, is downright mild).

Taka (looking totally agonised): Apparently we have to see her personally. Sorry.

Aya: yubetr cum'n ven. Eri'ul si yu.
(subtitle: In that case, the Exalted Eri will deign to see you. Come in.)

***

The two end up, eventually, in Eri the Hutt's throne room. The grotesquely overweight idiot princess lies sprawled on a huge chaise longue, eating chocolates, drinking cheap plonk and reading 'Pretty Miss' magazine. Several exotic and hideous creatures stand around (including another couple of Groupies in their traditional hooker-dress, one of whom leers at Takasaka who looks quickly away) and a group of quite hideously drunk aliens as well as the second most famous bucket-head in the galaxy (next to Darth Akihito, of course): the fearsome Hisaya Fett, wearing his bucket up today so the whole world can see his terrifying visage. Chained to her chaise longue is the hapless filler character Yuugo.

Aya walks up to the repulsive princess, who is busily stuffing more chocolates into her maw with one immense fist, and whispers into her ear. She looks up and laughs in a vacuous way at Taka and Serika who try to hide their distaste.

Taka: Greetings oh, most… beauteous… (He winces noticeably) Eri. Thing.

Eri: nyeeheheheheheeh! Aya, wer'dyu fyn-vese ven?
(subtitle: ha ha ha! Aya, where did you find these exotic creatures?)

Aya: Vey'wuz artsyd verdur. E'ses e gutu fiymgi feryu. Ow, anur mezij.
(subtitle: They arrived at the back gate. They claim they have a gift for you, and a message.)

Eri: Ur-ky. Lez'e t ven.
(subtitle: In which case I suppose I'd better see what it is.)

Taka: Serika, just give her the message and let's get out of here.

The tip of Serika's nose slides open and a small camera pokes out of it. Taka anxiously fidgets whilst Serika projects an image of Koji, dressed in his most flamboyant robes and leather trousers, onto the ground a few feet in front of Eri the Hutt, whose piggy eyes fair pop out of her head.

Eri: cor!
(subtitle: I want it!)

Koji (as hologram): Good day to you, fair maiden.

Hideously, the repulsive blob on the chaise longue blushes! Eri the Hutt is VERY susceptible to flattery, especially when it is coming from tall, blonde sex gods like our Koji!

Koji: I am Koji Nanjo, Jedi knight and the star of the Rebellion's Christmas Revue. And for some reason Shibuya's friend. I bring you promises of flirtatious conversation, cosmetics and money, oh most exalted and lovely jewel of the desert. I know exactly where you're coming from with Shibuya, he's seriously irritating and he owes you enough money to buy the Death Porsche three times over, but if you let him go I'll give you a ton of cash and I'll take you out to dinner. Do we have a deal? Oh, and the pair of idiots who delivered this message are a token of my goodwill.

Taka: …'idiots'? Oh no.

Eri: e's gutu'gutu bidwi mi fust befur iy-kunsiddu't ur gud-deyle. N'iv is Shibuya's eir, 'tleas iy knurr e-int wiystin m daw'newmur.
(subtitle: For such a paltry sum? There will be no deal! Besides, if his Shibuya is here, I at least know that he is not cheating me any more.)

Serika bleeps plaintively. Taka fiddles with his pill bottle.

Taka: We're totally dead, aren't we?

An aggrieved bleep from Serika.

Taka: No, I don't think I talk too much. It's my job to talk.

***

A few minutes later in some kind of robot workshop. Taka doesn't quite know what he's doing here considering he isn't that kind of guy. Serika just rotates her head once or twice which earns her another of Taka's dirty looks (which is like being glared at by a sheep). Of course, much steam and clanking noises abound so most of this conversation is conducted at a yell and the speakers can barely see each other… anyway, Taka and Serika are met by a Big Robot which has clearly had several bodged repair jobs performed on it and now, for some reason, thinks it is in the Darth Akihito league of intimidation despite being a total ham.

Big robot: Bwahahaha! Welcome, scum! (Turns to Taka) YOU! And just why should I persuade Eri the HUtt not to have you disintegrated immediately?

Taka (totally taken aback, forgetting to be scared): Um… because… I might be useful?

Big Robot: HA! And just why should I take your word for it? You'll have to do rather better than that! (Pauses a bit) How many languages do you speak? If any?

Taka (making his sales pitch): I am fluent in over six million forms of communication. (With a small flash of pride) Including Esperanto.

Big Robot: Good! We need a new translator considering Eri the Hutt operates a 'shoot the messenger' form of receiving bad news! Take him back to her Supreme Munificence and Gorgeousness Eri the Hutt!

Taka: Ah. Oh. Um, couldn't I…

So much for job security. Why they even need an interpreter is not quite known as everyone speaks in subtitles but there you have it and it's Taka. Anyway, another couple of guards escort the poor man out of the room

Taka (being escorted out): Ow! Be careful with that thing! (Sudden realisation) Serika! Don't leave me!

Serika bleeps a little plaintively then turns to the Big Robot and does the Serika equivalent of swearing – namely, a LOT of bleeps complete with head-rotation… but she still looks quite adorably cute in front of the huge, hideously repaired Big Robot, despite the bleepy swearing: it's probably the mini skirt and girly eyes.

Big Robot: Hahahaha! I like a girl with spirit! I have just the job for YOU! You will soon learn manners where you're going!

More steam fills the room and the Big Robot walks off dramatically into it. Serika does not look overly impressed.

***

Eri the Hutt's throne room. Here's where we see exactly how much of a filler character Yuugo is. Eri is in the middle of a giant, ridiculously noisy party: a few feet away Taka wrings his hands and looks totally out of place. A couple of the Groupies have collapsed on the floor in a drunken heap. Hisaya Fett is leering at Yuugo who is looking rather self-conscious and doing some kind of strange dance that is clearly designed to emphasise the fact that he's not wearing many clothes…

Eri the Hutt gives the poor boy a funny look: her eyes are all crossed and her tongue is hanging out, clearly she is feeling sexy. She tries to get him to come and sit next to her.

Eri: Yuugo! Cum'ere!
(subtitle: Won't you come and sit with me, Yuugo?)

Yuugo (looking rather disgusted): I don't want to.

Eri: Ur, yr'lil buztid! It'le sun-tesh yr'manis! Tykv'at!
(subtitle: Really? I have had quite enough of your insolence! Perhaps this will act as a corrective!)

Eri presses a button (labelled 'Ominous Button') on the edge of her chair and a trap door opens beneath Yuugo, who was never in with a chance really, and he plummets down it with a yell. There is a horrible thud, an even more horrible growl and a drawn-out scream – Yuugo is determined to make the most of his death scene… Eri goes into unbecoming hysterics, the drunk aliens round her cheer and Taka starts cleaning his glasses, only to almost drop them when a gunshot is heard. As the room falls silent, Taka hastily puts his glasses back on and peers in the direction of the noise.

Through the crowd of huge robots, little whizzy corkscrew things on wings, Groupies and various other obvious products of the Jim Henson Muppet Workshop, come a small group of people including Jesus, Katsumi's canine co-pilot/companion/bane of his life. Walking behind him holding what looks like a camouflaged Super Soaker water pistol is the figure of Bush, the bounty hunter, a strange-looking man in heavy clothing. He is another Galactic Bucket Head. He speaks the archaic Subtitles dialect.

Aya the Groupie, pulling herself out of her drunken heap on the floor, goes and stands next to Eri and leans down to her hideous ear, whispering and pointing obviously at Jesus and Bush, yanking down her ludicrously short traditional Hooker skirt as she does so.

Bush (in Subtitles): Greetings, oh magnificent… Eri. I have come for the bounty on this… walking carpet thing.

Eri: Yya! Vis izu rhapi'day! Iy gut ver mi-ti Jesus fing! Iy'm ver-bizt! Nyeeheheheheheeh!
(subtitle: So, at long last we have captured the mighty Jesus. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!)

She turns to the highly anxious Taka, who is wringing his hands again, and beckons him over.

Taka: Um… yes, your Gorgeousness, here I am…

Eri continues to howl, gurgle and drool whilst Taka attempts to make some sense of her rantings for Bush's benefit.

Taka: Um. Well, her supreme bounteousness and superlative beauteousness Eri the Hutt welcomes you and will gladly pay you your reward of twenty-five thousand.

Twenty-five thousand what? It doesn't matter because Bush isn't playing anyway. He glares from beneath the bucket at the hideous Eri.

Bush (in Subtitles): Won't do. I want fifty.

Eri growls and starts throwing the crockery around. Jesus gets 'Pretty Miss' magazine in the face and barks in irritation, Aya narrowly avoids being hit in the head by a half-empty wine glass, chocolate papers fly everywhere and Takasaka ends up on the floor. Bush plays ominously with his Super Soaker. Taka climbs anxiously to his feet and attempts to approach the drooling, ranting Eri who is still quite clearly 'off on one'.

Taka (to himself): Look, I'm only the translator… and I didn't say anything… this is a really bad job… (to Bush) Um… well, the general idea of all that is the mighty Eri wishes to know why she must pay fifty.

Bush sighs as if he cannot believe the sheer obtuseness of everyone here and holds up a small object which has 'bomb' written all over it. Eri doesn't get it. Taka does and after looking at it for a bit he looks at Bush as if asking for help, then at Eri, then the ceiling, Aya's drink… basically, he's nervy and Eri looks threateningly at him.

Taka: Um. Well. He's got a bomb.

This makes sense. The room goes quiet on cue and most of the room take several paces away from Bush. Taka looks as if he would like to do the same. Eri, of course, is stuck to her chaise longue by sheer laziness but she doesn't look all that worried. The bomb begins to tick. Taka looks at Eri again, then looks at his watch. He looks totally agonised – this is the worst job he's ever taken.

Eri: nyeeheheheheheeh! Wut'ur cliv uwi-uf gurtin'm uni! E's ku'l!
(subtitle: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's the kind of thinking I like to see!)

Eri continues drooling and growling and Taka hurriedly translates.

Taka: The… er… exalted Eri offers the revised sum of thirty-five thousand… (He looks at Bush imploringly – a borderline case of Nuriko Eyes behind the glasses) Please say yes, I want to stay alive here…

He waits anxiously for the reply, as do the Groupies, the big robots, the flying corkscrews, Kermit the frog, Miss Piggy and Big Bird. Bush turns the bomb and the tick stops.

Bush (in Subtitles) Yes.

Taka: He says yes.

The room take this as their cue to start partying harder than before and the entire room erupts in laughter, drunken singing, and a yelp from Takasaka – Aya has tried to grope him on the grounds that he's generically male. A band start massacring 'Wake me up before you go go' and Jesus as he is dragged out of the room looks utterly mystified (it's hard being a dog). A few feet away Takafumi Yoshiya, half-heartedly disguised as a guard, attempts to hide his rather distinctive haircut under a Half-Bucket and looks at Bush over the top of his glasses, raising his eyebrows at the man's big red helmet. Bush watches impassively, holding his Super Soaker, meeting the gaze of fearsome Hisaya Fett sans bucket. The two get into a staring match.

***

The same room a few hours later. The entire party has worn itself out and now lies passed out on the floor, all snoring hideously. The floor is a mess. Taka sits in a relatively clear patch and massages his temples, holding his nerve pill bottle in one hand. A few feet away Bush moves anxiously through the room, trying not to tread on the comatose Big Bird.

Bush makes his way to the small alcove where Eri has been keeping Katsumi for decorative purposes (though it has already been conclusively proven that 1. Eri the Hutt has bad taste in décor and 2. Eri the Hutt has a psychotic sense of humour so this should perhaps not be seen as that surprising). After staring for a few moments out of intellectual curiosity perhaps, or maybe contemplating Katsumi's reputation for talking far too much, Bush shrugs 'what the hell' and decides to go for it, pressing another big red button.

After a few moments in which nothing of any real moment happens except for an irritating low hum noise starts, the case thing breaks and Katsumi makes as if to fall over (he never was very co-ordinated). Bush catches him. After waiting for a few moments and getting increasingly impatient, he slaps him. Katsumi opens his eyes slightly and looks intently at some point over Bush's left shoulder, before hitting him lightly on the bucket, making it slide forward slightly. He is no more than half awake and very irritated.

Katsumi: Go away. I'm tired.

Bush: Katsumi, what the hell is your problem? Do you have the faintest idea where you are?

Katsumi: Hopefully I'm asleep on the floor. Five minutes, okay?

Bush: Are you alright?

Katsumi: I'd be a lot better if you just let me get some damn sleep!

Bush: Don't be stupid.

Katsumi (plaintively): Anyway, why'd you wake me up when I was just beginning to really hate it? Another few weeks and I'd have been really quite annoyed…

Bush ('why-do-I-bother?' tone of voice): Are you alright?

Katsumi: Um… well, to put it bluntly, no. Who the hell are you anyway?

Bush: Katsumi, I'm looking straight at you… oh yeah. (He takes the bucket off his head: we see that it really WAS just a red plastic bucket with an eyehole cut in. It even has 'Addis' written on it and there's a white handle on the back. Underneath is the foul-tempered Prince Izumi, whose expression is set in his trademark scowl) Any better?

Katsumi: No. Hey, do I have my eyes closed?

Izumi: Of course not. Here. (He holds up four fingers) How many fingers am I holding up?

Katsumi: Twelve? I dunno… where's your hand? And who are you anyway?

Izumi: Izumi, dumbass, who'd you think? The Pope? And do you ever stop talking? You've been conscious for about three minutes and for most of that you've had your mouth open. Why did I bother rescuing you? Shut up a minute, will you?

Katsumi: Just making up for lost time.

Behind them, something giggles in a vacuous, high-pitched way, with undertones of slobber, lechery, chocolate and cheap plonk. Katsumi attempts to stop leaning on Izumi's shoulder and leans against the wall instead, which is only a slight improvement. In front of him a curtain opens, which of course he can't see. Izumi turns, wishing he had time to put his Addis bucket back on his head. Behind the curtain are Eri the Hutt and several other assorted weirdies, including Aya, the Groupies and Big Bird.

Katsumi: Oh, god. Can anyone remind me why I worked for that thing again?

Izumi (narrowed eyes): Money?

Katsumi: Oh yeah. That was it. (Rather flustered) Look. Eri. I've got the money if you'd just let me get to a cash point… um, do you take cheques? I've been kind of busy, you know, things came up…

Eri: nyeeheheheheheeh! Dunf'ink ser! Yar tutly'did, Shibuya! Iy'm gur-nur kil'ya. Yu'uslis nur!
(subtitle: Too little too late. You've outlived your usefulness, Shibuya.)

Katsumi: Look, be reasonable…

Eri: fu'gid's sayk giyt'im urt-uv'ere.
(subtitle – that old favourite: take him away!)

This really isn't Katsumi's day – a couple of Groupie guards in really quite hideous makeup and brandishing zap guns manhandle him out of the room. He yells at the hideous Eri whilst trying to force the smaller Groupie to keep her hands to herself.

Katsumi: This is bloody stupid! I've got a credit card!

Takafumi sighs and attempts to get Izumi out of the way by grabbing one of his arms and leading him off but it is too late, Eri has already seen his Magnetic Eyes (tm) and wants to see the rest of him.

Eri: 'ei! At'choo fin-yer duin'? Brin'im ere!
(subtitle: bring him to me!)

Takafumi gives Izumi a pained glance before another guard glomps onto Izumi's other arm and drags him to the hideous Eri, who reapplies her smeared lipstick before continuing to speak. Taka peeks over Big Bird's shoulder, then ducks down again looking utterly repulsed.

Izumi: You're making a very big mistake.

Eri: Nur! Iv-iy gitjchu-ven Koji um'n'wisku yur. Vat-whr iy kiptcha ir-ta'ing Shibuya fu'su lun!
(subtitle): No I'm not. See, if I get you, then Koji will come rescue you. Why do you think I kept Shibuya all this time?

Eri grabs the back of Izumi's head and leans toward him. Taka looks up from behind Big Bird again and quickly looks away.

Taka: I did NOT just see that.

Onto part 2

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