Cid
and the Damn Dukes
By:
Aeris
It started one day,
one unsuspecting day. A Friday. Friday the 13th-
(kyahahaha!) ((Aeris: DAMMIT! Someone get Scarlet outta
here! Scarlet is hauled away by Hojo into a room marked
Room of no human exit Aeris: okay,
back to the story.))
It started on a Friday the 13th, at the unsuspecting
Rocket Town. Cid was enjoying a Dukes of Hazard marathon, a
carton of cigarettes, and a case of beer. He had also forced
Cloud to come over and watch the marathon with him
Well, Cloud isn't much for Dukes of
Hazard
Hey you jackass! Wake the $&#@ up! It's the best
&#*@!%$ part!
W-wha?! Oh yeahit's so exciting I think I
wet myself oh no wait I just spilled my beer when I
fell asleep
DAMMIT! Listen you spikey-haired freak! If you don't
keep your goddamn ass awake and watch the goddamn show I'll
tear you a new goddamn asshole with my goddamn Spear!!!
I'll be good
So Cloud suffered through two more hours of the dreaded
Dukes, and listened to Cid babble on about something he
didn't know anything about, or gave a crap about
anyway
Yeah, this's when the smartass kid crashes the
$&@*#!^ car into the damn tree
really nice Cidoh
reallythat's great
Well, whoever said you could only use limit breaks in a
battle?
Cloud just sat there, and pretty soon, Cid's babbling and
the same show over and over and over well, it got to
him
Cloud looked at the TV, and waited until Cid left for a pit
stop and took his sword out
He quietly walked over to the TV and his eyes flared.
And Cid was back, just in time, to see Cloud using his Omnislash
on his precious TV.
GODDAMMIT!! YOU SPIKEY MORON IM GONNA
$^%^&%^#$%#!#@!$@#%%^&^%*& AND THEN IM GONNA RIP YOUR
$^%^&^&*%&$^# AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR
$%^%^&&*@!@!&^# AND PULL IT OUT THEN SHOVE IT SO
GODDAMN FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT YOUR &^&#$#$@#$@#!$%^%
!!!!!!!!!!!
While going on this infamous Cid Curse Chain,'
everyone's favorite pilot was chasing our blonde soldier
back and forth through the house, outside, through the
neighbors' house (who had lived near Cid long enough to grow
accustomed to these tantrums) in the Inn, past the old
rocket stand, and in the shop.
Cid had Cloud
cornered in the electronics section, and was about to poke him a
new a new hole,' when a young kid with
a southern accent spoke on a nearby TV, This is the Dukes
of Hazard channel! 24 hour (I can't read that!)
(Laughs, LAUGHS!) (Oh.) Ahem 24-hour laughs and your
favorite Dukes of Blizzard-I mean Hazard! Cid's spear
and cigarette dropped to the ground when he saw, you guessed it,
the Dukes of Hazard channel, on a brand new television set. Cloud
saw this as his chance to escape, and he tried crawling along the
wall to safety but only succeeded in pulling the TV's
cord out of the wall. Cid snapped, and slowly turned his head
towards him. Cloud
gaped in horror as the pilot came towards him again, his spear
aimed at a rather unpleasant spot for young men to be stabbed
in Ohhhhh sheeeiiit Cloud fumbled with
the cord, trying to find the outlet again, while Cid stalked
closer. He finally got the cord into the outlet, and like magic,
Cid turned back around and sat on the ground, content.
Dukes urge to kill,
lowering Cloud took a
step back, when Cid said in a louder one, !
Cloud looked
to be sure there were no cords in the way, and ran like hell. And
they never heard from Cid again until yesterday, when the
shopkeeper escorted Cid home and gave him the new TV and channel
free of charge, as long as he never visited that store
again
The End...