Down Time *Again*

Down Time *Again*

When we last left our heroes, the situation looked pretty bleak. After the group's poker game was brought to a fiery halt. This was followed by Dilandau's setting of to ignite Dryden (Yes, literally. Get your mind out of the gutter, you sick, sick reader, you!), Allen piercing his over-zealous heart with a large hair clip, Hitomi and Merle being enclosed in a broom closet, and the Fanel brothers retreating to the author's "chambers" for a nice "sleep". After a lengthy "rest", the brothers Fanel emerge, leaving the author in her room to further disturb herself with elicit fantasies involving cartoon characters... Um, that is to say, leaving her to her writing... yeah ("Please don't bore us to tears with your pathetic personal life," remark our oh-so-understanding readers).

Anyway, back on topic, Folken now turns to Van. "Well, what now?" Asks our tall semi-dark and very handsome Draconian. Van shrugs. "Guess we could let Merle and Hitomi out of the closet..." He turns his head towards the door, which is vibrating from Merle's pounding ("Ooo, Lord Van!!! He'll save me! Lord Van!? Lord... Van...?"). Folken rolls his eyes.

"Well, I guess the cat girl can come out but... do we really have to free the psychic? She weirds me out..." Van narrows his eyes at his older brother, who steps back. "Okay, okay! We'll let her out..."

They two release the girls from the closet. Hitomi jumps on Van, exclaiming "My Hero!". It seems that she, in all her idiocy, cannot fathom that her lovely Van was the one who put her there in the first place... But we can forgive her, right? HAH!

Hitomi asks in that stupid, slow voice of hers where Allen has gone to, and Van explains the situation to her. She cries heroically and rushes off in the direction of his room (Hitomi: I'll save him! Folken: Umm, how exactly do you plan to save him when he's already... oh never mind...). There is a large crash, and the door flies off it's hinges for the second time that night, revealing Dilandau in the doorway. How the door got back ON it's hinges shall not be explained now or, for that matter, ever (such is the way of anime...).

"I'm Baa-ack!" cries our Dil, smiling.

"Hi Dilandau. You're brother's dead," Folken casually remarks at the same time as Van's "Go away".

"Well, it's about time!" cries Dil, "I thought that guy'd never keel!" Unfortunately for Dilly-poo, Allen now appears in the doorway, supported by Hitomi. "Hello, my homely comrades!" Allen remarks shakily. He is met with various greetings (Think, "What the hell?" "Oh damn, I thought you were dead!" "Aw crap!"). He waves his hand casually and sits down at the table.

"Please, please, do not make a fuss over me, I'm not that hurt! Luckily I was wearing my underwire! The hair clip was stopped by that, thank heavens... But it gave me quite the shock and I must have passed o... What are you all staring at?" The entire group are digesting those last few sentences with looks of sheer horror on their faces (Folken: *left eye twitching slightly* That's just disturbing!" Van: "Ick..."). The shock of Allen's comment wears off quickly, and the rather bored crowd engage themselves in a rather pointless conversation:

Folken: So, Did'you set Dryden on fire?

Dilandau: *sourly* No, I was about to, but he stepped on my toe. It hurt... Prick!

Folken: I laugh at you.

Dilandau: What?!

Folken: Have some stew?

Van: I'm bored

Hitomi: Me too (all nod in agreement)

Allen: There's nothing to do in this god-forsaken country!

Folken: Well, we could always kill Dornkirk...

Van: Hey, good idea! Lets!

Dilandau: Ooo, Death! Count me in!

Folken: Hey, or not! *shoves Dil into the fabled broom closet*

(Author's note: No, not the figurative "closet". After all, you can't be shoved into something if you never leave it in the first place...)

Dil: *from inside closet* Folken, you idiot, let me out! You'll burn for this, mark my words, YOU'LL BURN!

Van:(To Folken) Is it just me, or is that getting old really quickly?

Scene change. Heroes now stand in front of evil emperor. Evading security was remarkably easy. Dornkirk stares, amazed.

Dornkirk: What are you doing here?

Folken: We're going to kill you.

Van: You are so dead.

Allen: Hey, what conditioner do you use? You have such body and sheen...

Dornkirk: Why thank you! it's Herbal Essen... Did you say you're going to kill me?

Folken: Uh huh! *thrusts sword into Dornkirk*

Van: Umm... brother?

Folken: *violently twisting sword and flinging bits of Dornkirk all over the throne room* Not now, Van! can't you see I'm working here?

Van: Okay... just don't fall off the balcony...

Folken: Please Van, what do I look like, an idioAHHHHHHHHHH! (oh, the irony!)

Van: Brother! *sprouts wings and jumps after Folken, pulling Hitomi, Merle, and a shrieking Allen with him*

Yes, it's happened. Folken has fallen off the balcony, landing in a pool of his own blood. Did I mention he also has a fragment of his own sword lodged in his chest? Yeah, that's right, he's a dead man. Unless...

Van: I can't get this piece of sword out!

Allen:*sobbing* OH, Folken, don't leave me! If only I could give my life for yours!

Van: Well, actually... I heard once that there's a way to save the life of one who's dying... but it involves an exchange through fire... Where's Dilandau?

Folken: We... locked... him... in...the...closet...

Dilandau: Here I am! Next time you'll do well to remember that wooden doors burn easily!

Van: Great! You got a light?

Allen: Oh, well I wasn't being serious...

Folken: Oh... come... on...

Van: Yeah, Blondie, be a man!

Hitomi: It's not right that Allen has to die just to save your brother, Van!

Van: *looks ashamed* I guess you have a point. Fine, Allen's spared...

Folken: Thanks... a... lot... Hitomi!

Dilandau: Heh heh, look! I set that butterfly on fire... *Butterfly flaps towards Allen's hair*... oops...

Allen: *shrieking* My hair! My Beautiful hair!!!

Van: Roll, you idiot, roll on the ground!

Allen falls towards the ground, landing right on top of Folken, who curses loudly. The fire goes out, but as Allen stands up, we hear him shriek with pain. Yes, the unthinkable has happened: The fragment of Folken's sword has snagged on something, sunken into Allen's chest and is now being pulled out of Folken by, you guessed it... Allen's underwire.

Folken: Van, I... I can't feel the pain....

Allen: OWOWOWOWOW!

Folken: Oh, I see... Thanks Shezar!

Van helps Folken up as Allen falls lifelessly to the ground. Hitomi shrieks. Van stifles a cheer. Merle puts her hands all over Van ("Hey, stop that!"). Folken looks at his wound. Dilandau suggests celebratory drinks.

Change of scene. A strange bar. Folken has had enough alcohol to numb the pain. Hitomi has had enough alcohol to make her slightly easy (About half a beer), and Dilandau now thinks he's Elvis Costello (!!). Van and Merle have "disappeared". Hitomi begins to find Dil rather attractive. All are drunk. Author "tends" to Folken's "wounds".

Ah, bliss.

Le fin (or is it...)