Down Time:
The Hangover
A/N: The
third 'Downtime' installment… Yea! That's pretty much
it… meh. Please excuse the inconsistent spelling of Allen's last
name… how do you spell it, anyway? If anyone could e-mail me the answer
to this question, I'll be your best friend for life!!! Well, that's
all, folks. –The Nymph ;)
When
we saw our heroes last, they were celebrating the much anticipated death of
Allen "Powder-Puff Pink" Sheazar, the Asturian army's trophy
blonde belle. Well,
after a few hours and many drinks, our favorite group of rebels is seeming
considerable braver, including the beautiful, brave Lord Folken, still bleeding
slightly from the chest (Author: Oh no, you're bleeding! Maybe you'd feel
better if I licked you all over!). Somehow, during the course of the (wild)
night, all the remaining members of our group manage to make their way back to
the Crusade, where they wake up the following morning. Dilandau is the first to
wake, feeling as if he has been beaten about the head by the iron fist of an enormous
guymelef. He groans as he rolls over, then shrieks as he sees who is lying
beside him. Hitomi Kanzaki's eyes fly open at his cry, and she too begins
to yell.
"What
the HELL is going on here?" Dilandau's eyes widen at her comment.
"YOU
tell ME! Last thing I knew, I was in bed with Bert Bacharach, and next thing I
know I'm waking up beside YOU!" He spits, disgusted. Hitomi raises
her eyebrows.
"Don't
tell me we..." she faints. Dilandau, not knowing what else to do, sets
fire to the room and closes the door behind him. In the large common room, he
finds a rather shirtless Folken lying on the table, eyes open, motionless.
Dilandau:
*Thinks* Could he be dead? Hmm... that'd be nice...
Folken:
Hello Dilandau.
Dil: Oh
crap. You look like had a little too much fun last night, Folken.
Folken:
*sitting up painfully* As do you.
Dilandau:
Cat Girls?
Folken:
Nope, some strange girl from the "Mystic Moon".
*Author
cries out in horror as she suddenly realizes that the age difference between
herself and Folken is the same as that between her Mother and her stepfather
(Ewewewew!)*
Dilandau:
Oh, I see... Where's Van FaNEL?
Folken:
Hmm... I don't know for sure...
As if on
cue, The outside door to the crusade is knocked off it's hinges again
(Folken: Why does everyone keep doing that?), and Van enters the ship,
whistling "Hail the Conquering Hero".
Van: Lovely
day, isn't it?
Folken: Mm
Hm, it sure is!
Dilandau:
Someone got laid!
Folken: Look
who's talking. So, Dil, who's the, um... crispy... girl?
Dilandau:
Um... *They suddenly see the flicker of flames from beneath Hitomi's
door*
Folken:
Oh... I see.
Merle:
*enters room* Hi Lord Van!!!
Van: *rubs
his temples* Please don't talk... ever.
Merle: Okay,
Lord Van!!!
(Van
twitches psychotically)
Suddenly,
there is a loud crash from outside the ship, an moments later, a charred,
bloody figure climbs through the open hatch. Van's eyes widen. Folken
grimaces. Dilandau groans.
"Allen
SHEAZAR?!? What the hell are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be
dead?" Allen tosses his golden (and slightly burnt) hair.
"Indeed,
Dilandau, it seemed that way. Luckily, I was wearing my mother's old
brooch under my shirt. It stopped Folken's sword from piercing my
heart."
Dilandau
curses creatively. "Damn you Shaezar, why won't you die???" Allen
is too busy staring at the flames in Hitomi's room to care about this
comment.
"I
must save Hitomi! It is my duty, as a man, of course. Make a note of that. Man.
That's M-A-..." Dilandau shoves Allen into the fire, provoking
surprised yet not unpleased looks from the rest of the crowd. Dil shakes his
head moodily.
"I
have a headache, all right?" Allen remarks from the fire that his head is
also beginning to hurt a bit. Dilandau remarks that this must be because
Allen's hair is on fire, and adds more gasoline to the flames. Merle
giggles loudly, resulting in her ending up with Allen in the fire. The author
hums along with "Three Small Words" (You know, from Josie and the
Pussycats!) And remarks that her cat is also named Merle. Hmm... Cool. Meow...
Dilandau,
angry that he's not getting as much attention as usual, mutters that
Emily is a better fanfic writer
anyway and marches off to join her story instead. Folken is whistling "I
Touch Myself" by the Divinyls (Just don't ask). Van O.D.s on
Tylenol (Peace out, bro!) and gets very dizzy. Steph offers to kiss
Folken's headache better (Folken: How do you kiss a headache bett...
oh... OH!! *Grin*). All is calm, All is bright, I am tired, so goodnight!
C'est
toute par maintenant!
