Disclaimer: Things I don't own:
Gundam Wing
Digimon
Wheatus
Iron Maiden
Hell
Christmas
Marlboro lights
Fields of marijuana
The Brave Boys doujinishi
Teletubbies
France
ELF petrol station
_____________________________
I blame drugs
_____________________________
Chapter 2: It's Christmas!!
Duo sidled over to Heero childishly,
'What are you doing?' he said curiously. Heero looked malicious as he turned to face him,
'/Trying/ to shoot the weird old guy.' Heero turned his face and attention back to the spot where the deranged OAP had been, 'Damn you Duo, he's disappeared!'
Duo looked nervous, 'Er, OK. So what's /she/ doing?' Duo pointed a quivering finger at Relena, who was coming towards them quickly.
Heero ran for the hills. Duo sighed and turned back to Relena. She had started to run towards /him/.
'Aghhhhhhh!!!'
Moe bumped into a frenzied young man. In a camp sort-of voice he said,
'Why, helloo!'.
The boy just looked freaked out.
'What the ::hell:: are you doing in a dark alley!' he shouted. Moe did a badly acted puppy dog expression,
'I'm just looking for someone to make me happy,' he purred 'what's your name, baby?'
'Uh..Heero.'
'Come with mee..'
KONY was meeting soo many interesting people!! Her husband Quatre was wrestling with his friend Trowa, she had asked if she could join in, but they said it wasn't her kind of sport!
She snogged a boy called Dody or something, but his breath smelt funny so she skipped away into the rising pandemonium!! She only wanted to annoy JayB and meet more boys but she found so-so much more!
She ran into a cute boy called Catt but a nasty girl called Jume tried to kill her!! She ran away and fell in love with Catt, but her hate for Jum burned on also!
One day, maybe in years to come-maybe in the next chapter, Jum would get it!!
Quatre, after escaping from his 'wife' had a pen thrust into his hand. At first he thought it was something else, but we won't go ::there::. A girl called Goon asked him to "sign her shirt". Quatre wrote,
-STAY AWAY FROM THIS BITCH-
Then he went to wrestle with Trowa.
Treize was trying to calm down Lady Une when a boy with incredibly large hair pinched his bum. When Treize looked at him he ran away. Treize had had enough, he hadn't become the Supreme commander of an Orange Zebra for nothing..
TK was reviving Cody, who had been half choked by a crazy banshee and then tripped on by a chinese boy dressed as an old man.
'It's OK, Baby. People just don't see you, you've got to stand tall,' TK soothed, as he finished a voice boomed out of makeshift speakers,
'IN THIS TIME OF PAIN, SEPARATION AND CONFUSION, WE MUST UNITE!!!!'
Cody was attentively listening to his lover when a great booming voice told him what to do. Cody knew it could only mean one thing.
'The Messiah has come!' he shouted as he bowed to the ground.
Matt was worried/happy.
The pros of his situation were that Jun was out of the way and that he was in love.
The cons were that his beloved had deserted him to *get it on* with every red blooded (optional) male in a 5km radius and that he had been gagged and bound by a chinese boy. He was now at gun-point.
Matt sat with his back to a wall, beyond which strange noises were coming. The boy introduced himself as WuFei Chang and told him to look pitiful when the time came. If Matt did this he would get a sweetie, Matt nodded eagerly at the prospect.
WuFei looked disturbed. By the time they had finished discussing their deal there were audible groans and whip cracks from the next room.
WuFei blushed furiously and walked out of the room.
Mariemeia saw her father give his speech. If she was remembering right it had ended with something like,
'So I'm sure you'll all be very happy to let me rule over you in the paradise we call...TREIZEBURG!'
At that point an immense cheer had emanated from the boy with big hair, the girl with ridiculous glasses and the freaky robotic scientist. Mariemeia also heard something vaguely resembling the Lord's Prayer from a small boy - a /very/ small boy.
Her plan was almost ready for action.
Trowa wasn't really listening (we all know why) but it was still obvious what had happened.
The clues were everywhere: the boy with the pointy shoes, the bearded man he had seen earlier and the general feeling of happiness and wellbeing.
It was Christmas!!
Then Trowa noticed that there were no presents, a hole in his theorum..
Trowa sighed..
Dr.J abandoned his search for attention after he managed to get up. He saw Heero walking in a zig-zag across the pavement and went to see him.
'Heero! We must do something. Treize has brainwashed the citizens of this-um..colony! We must strike back against this land where evil masterminds, short people and ::women:: (Dr.J drew a cross on his chest) can do what they please!'
'I'm dizzy.'
Dr.J sighed, 'Let me put it this way Heero. You have a mission-'
Heero's head jerked up.
'Counterattack the enemy with every strength you can find.'
Joe was chatting to an interesting blond girl about robots. For some reason she kept asking him questions about movies and food. Then Joe realised.
He was being chatted up! Joe gasped, he knew just what to do..
'I've got 2 tickets to Iron Maiden, Baby,'
'Um-'
She was interupted by Joe sweeping her into his arms and putting his finger to her lips,
'Come with me Friday-don't say maybe!' he exclaimed. The girl looked freaked out, then screamed.
'RAPE!!!'
Yolei took Tai to see Treize. He seemed a little /too/ excited at the prospect. "His Excellency" (as he know demanded to be called) was looking confused as Cody showered him with gifts, these were mostly Marlboro lights and badly cut marijuana...
Yolei turned to her soulmate and said,
'Do you have a gift, all I have is my wisdom?'
'I have this,' Tai said, and then, in a blatantly loud whisper, 'I found it on the floor outside.'
Tai passed the spiral shaped object to Mr. Khushrenada, who took it and experimentally slipped it onto his arm.
That was the start of the T'Ailei Dynasty.
Heero, after escaping from his nymphomaniac lady friend, was taken into a dark room. He must have been drinking because his memory blanked at that point and the next thing that he remembered was Dr.J giving him a mission.
Heero's objective was, as always, to fulfil his mission. In a room with him were Quatre and Trowa (whispering in each others ears and giggling), Duo (looking like someone in the wrong place at the wrong time) and WuFei (who had a strand of fake beard on his chin). Heero looked at the ridiculous pilots.
'What are we going to call ourselves then?'
'Bad boys!' said Quatre
'Brave boys.' said Trowa
'Nataku boys.' said WuFei (not really paying attention)
'Gay boys,' said Duo. Everyone looked at him.'It's /appropriate/'
Davis was talking to a chinese boy,
'I feel just like... like I've met you before!' he gushed.
The boy went to join a meeting with Heero (he hadn't even noticed Davis for the last 20 minutes).
Davis stood alone and whispered to himself,
'Don't walk away from me WuFei, don't walk away from your feelings.'
::And then the rain began *romantic music*::
Lady Une was more confused than ever. 2 children were ordering His Excellency about while she was left out of the picture. Then her personality disorder took over. She told the group to find weapons or she would slit their throats, Treize attacked her on all fours. Then her personality disorder took over. Lady Une sat down in the corner and cried. A hand rested on Lady Unes shoulder, it was Soady. She looked deeply into his eyes.. Then her personality disorder took over. Lady Une thrusted Soady aside,
'What do you want me to do?'
Mimi looked for Joe but when she found him she was dead (!) Then Joe woke up and was horrible to her. Mimi ran away and said hello to TK but he tried to give her a bad touch. She found a nice girl called Ribena but she tried to take Mimi's money..
Relena couldn't find any of the gundam pilots for cash.
It started to rain.
She reconsidered her prospects.
Relena decided to walk around looking sweet until someone empowered her for no apparent reason.
Tai was laughing drily. He had asked Treize to track down and annihilate Matt....And Treize was actually doing it!!
Then Tai heard music. He ran out of his headquarters and felt the heat. They nstood on a raised platform surrounded by oracle like pillars of flame, they looked like the four horseriders of the apocalypse.
The girl with red hair was holding a gun.
The boy with blue hair was holding a whip.
The girl with kooky eyes was laughing.
The blond girl had a sword in one hand and in the other..
Tai walked over to the stage,
'Bow.' demanded the girl.
Tai bowed. Anything for free hairgel
She was having a pretty cool day. After seeing Mr. Khushrenada's speech she had felt a burning desire for her own city. That in mind she had questioned a couple of guys so she would know what to bribe them with when the prospect arose. This plan went horribly awry when a tall boy with glasses tried to dance with her. Not being able to dance at all She took the only option available. The tall boy, named..Flo..dropped her immediately and then fainted himself.
That was when Po appeared.
'Damn! I brought my camera too!..not much film left though..' he said. She just looked him, he had a black object peeping out of his shirt pocket. She gave him her *What ::are:: you doing* look. It worked and he put the pretty bracelet away. The 2 evil masterminds soon got to know each other and decided on a plan.
'I will be king and you shall be my queen in the province of..erm..'
'Hell' she prompted. They smiled at each other and walked away.
KONY was found with another of her gay boyfriends. She smiled at Po and said,
'You've got blue hair!!' Po looked worried. They didn't find Mariemeia, she found them, She and Mariemeia quickly became friends.
So there you go, the Evil Lapdancing Four, ELF.
WuFei was now part of a top secret organisation but he held his own plans.
'Natakuland..' he mumbled. Heero looked at him,
'Please don't mumble WuFei, we're in enough shit as it is with a name like this...Actually...shut up or I'll kill you.'
'Come again?'
'Look! Do something useful.. like going after Treize with a sniper will you?!'
'Er..OK'
'NO! SHUT UP! I can't stand your voice!! Bugger off or I'll /be forced/ to shoot you in the head!'
'Sure.' (Several gunshots) 'Missed me!'
_______________________________
Whaddya think? I wrote the last bit in France when I wanted to kill my French family (my exchange student was singing a long to Celine Dion). Scream if you wanna go faster, or hate Geri Halliwell. Thank you for the support. Merci beaucoup.
Gundam Wing
Digimon
Wheatus
Iron Maiden
Hell
Christmas
Marlboro lights
Fields of marijuana
The Brave Boys doujinishi
Teletubbies
France
ELF petrol station
_____________________________
I blame drugs
_____________________________
Chapter 2: It's Christmas!!
Duo sidled over to Heero childishly,
'What are you doing?' he said curiously. Heero looked malicious as he turned to face him,
'/Trying/ to shoot the weird old guy.' Heero turned his face and attention back to the spot where the deranged OAP had been, 'Damn you Duo, he's disappeared!'
Duo looked nervous, 'Er, OK. So what's /she/ doing?' Duo pointed a quivering finger at Relena, who was coming towards them quickly.
Heero ran for the hills. Duo sighed and turned back to Relena. She had started to run towards /him/.
'Aghhhhhhh!!!'
Moe bumped into a frenzied young man. In a camp sort-of voice he said,
'Why, helloo!'.
The boy just looked freaked out.
'What the ::hell:: are you doing in a dark alley!' he shouted. Moe did a badly acted puppy dog expression,
'I'm just looking for someone to make me happy,' he purred 'what's your name, baby?'
'Uh..Heero.'
'Come with mee..'
KONY was meeting soo many interesting people!! Her husband Quatre was wrestling with his friend Trowa, she had asked if she could join in, but they said it wasn't her kind of sport!
She snogged a boy called Dody or something, but his breath smelt funny so she skipped away into the rising pandemonium!! She only wanted to annoy JayB and meet more boys but she found so-so much more!
She ran into a cute boy called Catt but a nasty girl called Jume tried to kill her!! She ran away and fell in love with Catt, but her hate for Jum burned on also!
One day, maybe in years to come-maybe in the next chapter, Jum would get it!!
Quatre, after escaping from his 'wife' had a pen thrust into his hand. At first he thought it was something else, but we won't go ::there::. A girl called Goon asked him to "sign her shirt". Quatre wrote,
-STAY AWAY FROM THIS BITCH-
Then he went to wrestle with Trowa.
Treize was trying to calm down Lady Une when a boy with incredibly large hair pinched his bum. When Treize looked at him he ran away. Treize had had enough, he hadn't become the Supreme commander of an Orange Zebra for nothing..
TK was reviving Cody, who had been half choked by a crazy banshee and then tripped on by a chinese boy dressed as an old man.
'It's OK, Baby. People just don't see you, you've got to stand tall,' TK soothed, as he finished a voice boomed out of makeshift speakers,
'IN THIS TIME OF PAIN, SEPARATION AND CONFUSION, WE MUST UNITE!!!!'
Cody was attentively listening to his lover when a great booming voice told him what to do. Cody knew it could only mean one thing.
'The Messiah has come!' he shouted as he bowed to the ground.
Matt was worried/happy.
The pros of his situation were that Jun was out of the way and that he was in love.
The cons were that his beloved had deserted him to *get it on* with every red blooded (optional) male in a 5km radius and that he had been gagged and bound by a chinese boy. He was now at gun-point.
Matt sat with his back to a wall, beyond which strange noises were coming. The boy introduced himself as WuFei Chang and told him to look pitiful when the time came. If Matt did this he would get a sweetie, Matt nodded eagerly at the prospect.
WuFei looked disturbed. By the time they had finished discussing their deal there were audible groans and whip cracks from the next room.
WuFei blushed furiously and walked out of the room.
Mariemeia saw her father give his speech. If she was remembering right it had ended with something like,
'So I'm sure you'll all be very happy to let me rule over you in the paradise we call...TREIZEBURG!'
At that point an immense cheer had emanated from the boy with big hair, the girl with ridiculous glasses and the freaky robotic scientist. Mariemeia also heard something vaguely resembling the Lord's Prayer from a small boy - a /very/ small boy.
Her plan was almost ready for action.
Trowa wasn't really listening (we all know why) but it was still obvious what had happened.
The clues were everywhere: the boy with the pointy shoes, the bearded man he had seen earlier and the general feeling of happiness and wellbeing.
It was Christmas!!
Then Trowa noticed that there were no presents, a hole in his theorum..
Trowa sighed..
Dr.J abandoned his search for attention after he managed to get up. He saw Heero walking in a zig-zag across the pavement and went to see him.
'Heero! We must do something. Treize has brainwashed the citizens of this-um..colony! We must strike back against this land where evil masterminds, short people and ::women:: (Dr.J drew a cross on his chest) can do what they please!'
'I'm dizzy.'
Dr.J sighed, 'Let me put it this way Heero. You have a mission-'
Heero's head jerked up.
'Counterattack the enemy with every strength you can find.'
Joe was chatting to an interesting blond girl about robots. For some reason she kept asking him questions about movies and food. Then Joe realised.
He was being chatted up! Joe gasped, he knew just what to do..
'I've got 2 tickets to Iron Maiden, Baby,'
'Um-'
She was interupted by Joe sweeping her into his arms and putting his finger to her lips,
'Come with me Friday-don't say maybe!' he exclaimed. The girl looked freaked out, then screamed.
'RAPE!!!'
Yolei took Tai to see Treize. He seemed a little /too/ excited at the prospect. "His Excellency" (as he know demanded to be called) was looking confused as Cody showered him with gifts, these were mostly Marlboro lights and badly cut marijuana...
Yolei turned to her soulmate and said,
'Do you have a gift, all I have is my wisdom?'
'I have this,' Tai said, and then, in a blatantly loud whisper, 'I found it on the floor outside.'
Tai passed the spiral shaped object to Mr. Khushrenada, who took it and experimentally slipped it onto his arm.
That was the start of the T'Ailei Dynasty.
Heero, after escaping from his nymphomaniac lady friend, was taken into a dark room. He must have been drinking because his memory blanked at that point and the next thing that he remembered was Dr.J giving him a mission.
Heero's objective was, as always, to fulfil his mission. In a room with him were Quatre and Trowa (whispering in each others ears and giggling), Duo (looking like someone in the wrong place at the wrong time) and WuFei (who had a strand of fake beard on his chin). Heero looked at the ridiculous pilots.
'What are we going to call ourselves then?'
'Bad boys!' said Quatre
'Brave boys.' said Trowa
'Nataku boys.' said WuFei (not really paying attention)
'Gay boys,' said Duo. Everyone looked at him.'It's /appropriate/'
Davis was talking to a chinese boy,
'I feel just like... like I've met you before!' he gushed.
The boy went to join a meeting with Heero (he hadn't even noticed Davis for the last 20 minutes).
Davis stood alone and whispered to himself,
'Don't walk away from me WuFei, don't walk away from your feelings.'
::And then the rain began *romantic music*::
Lady Une was more confused than ever. 2 children were ordering His Excellency about while she was left out of the picture. Then her personality disorder took over. She told the group to find weapons or she would slit their throats, Treize attacked her on all fours. Then her personality disorder took over. Lady Une sat down in the corner and cried. A hand rested on Lady Unes shoulder, it was Soady. She looked deeply into his eyes.. Then her personality disorder took over. Lady Une thrusted Soady aside,
'What do you want me to do?'
Mimi looked for Joe but when she found him she was dead (!) Then Joe woke up and was horrible to her. Mimi ran away and said hello to TK but he tried to give her a bad touch. She found a nice girl called Ribena but she tried to take Mimi's money..
Relena couldn't find any of the gundam pilots for cash.
It started to rain.
She reconsidered her prospects.
Relena decided to walk around looking sweet until someone empowered her for no apparent reason.
Tai was laughing drily. He had asked Treize to track down and annihilate Matt....And Treize was actually doing it!!
Then Tai heard music. He ran out of his headquarters and felt the heat. They nstood on a raised platform surrounded by oracle like pillars of flame, they looked like the four horseriders of the apocalypse.
The girl with red hair was holding a gun.
The boy with blue hair was holding a whip.
The girl with kooky eyes was laughing.
The blond girl had a sword in one hand and in the other..
Tai walked over to the stage,
'Bow.' demanded the girl.
Tai bowed. Anything for free hairgel
She was having a pretty cool day. After seeing Mr. Khushrenada's speech she had felt a burning desire for her own city. That in mind she had questioned a couple of guys so she would know what to bribe them with when the prospect arose. This plan went horribly awry when a tall boy with glasses tried to dance with her. Not being able to dance at all She took the only option available. The tall boy, named..Flo..dropped her immediately and then fainted himself.
That was when Po appeared.
'Damn! I brought my camera too!..not much film left though..' he said. She just looked him, he had a black object peeping out of his shirt pocket. She gave him her *What ::are:: you doing* look. It worked and he put the pretty bracelet away. The 2 evil masterminds soon got to know each other and decided on a plan.
'I will be king and you shall be my queen in the province of..erm..'
'Hell' she prompted. They smiled at each other and walked away.
KONY was found with another of her gay boyfriends. She smiled at Po and said,
'You've got blue hair!!' Po looked worried. They didn't find Mariemeia, she found them, She and Mariemeia quickly became friends.
So there you go, the Evil Lapdancing Four, ELF.
WuFei was now part of a top secret organisation but he held his own plans.
'Natakuland..' he mumbled. Heero looked at him,
'Please don't mumble WuFei, we're in enough shit as it is with a name like this...Actually...shut up or I'll kill you.'
'Come again?'
'Look! Do something useful.. like going after Treize with a sniper will you?!'
'Er..OK'
'NO! SHUT UP! I can't stand your voice!! Bugger off or I'll /be forced/ to shoot you in the head!'
'Sure.' (Several gunshots) 'Missed me!'
_______________________________
Whaddya think? I wrote the last bit in France when I wanted to kill my French family (my exchange student was singing a long to Celine Dion). Scream if you wanna go faster, or hate Geri Halliwell. Thank you for the support. Merci beaucoup.
