The song in here is "This Side of Me" by Savage Garden

The song in here is "This Side of Me" by Savage Garden. (C'mon, did you actually expect a chapter without song lyrics?) I think it fits in rather remarkably. Check it out.

~~*~~

For the next few hours, they exchanged stories of their lives, mainly the years right after the escape. Eventually, they were interrupted by feedback from the microphone. All heads turned towards the stage. A man was standing there, trying to fix the noise resonance. Finally, when it had quieted down, he began, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I please have your attention?"

Um, you've actually had it for quite a while now.

"We are now announcing the winners of the kareoke contest. The second runner-up, who receives $50, is…Joanne Johnson!"

Polite applause, as a young black woman stood up and made her way towards the stage. The man handed her a check, then read, "The first runner-up, who receives $100, is…April Marquez!" The girl who had been up before Jondy got up and walked to the stage. She was given a check, then the man continued, "And the winner, who receives the grand prize of $500, is…Angel!"

Thunderous applause met this announcement, or so Jondy liked to think. Max gave her a quick hug before she stood up and walked onto the stage. As the man handed her the check, he leaned over and whispered, "Ms. Angel, is there any chance you'd consider a job here?"

Jondy looked at him. "Doing what?"

"Singing, of course."

Of course. How silly of her. Was it just her, or were clubs in high demand for singers these days?

"I might," she said slowly.

"If you will follow me, we can discuss it in my office."

"Sure."

Jondy, ever cautious, warily followed him offstage and into a small room out back.

"Ms. Angel–"

"Just Angel."

"Of course. To put it bluntly, we're interested in hiring you as a singer."

"Uh-huh. Listen, Mr.…?"

"Johnson."

"Mr. Johnson, you'll forgive me for being skeptical, but you've only heard me sing once. How can you be sure that you even want to hire me?"

"Well, we believe that we should never let an opportunity pass by, and you, if I may say so, are a splendid opportunity."

"Yeah, I'm flattered," Jondy said dryly. "Okay, so supposing I did agree, what would the terms be?"

"Four or five nights a week, eight o'clock to one."

It struck her as interesting that he had an answer prepared. She wondered what other "opportunities" he dealt with.

"Um…can I get back to you?"

"Certainly." He handed her a business card. How professional.

"Thanks. Well, I'll be in touch."

"Please do."

Max and Zack were still at the bar where she had left them. She walked over to them quickly. "Hey, guys, I'm back. Thanks for waiting."

"Nice of you to join us," Zack remarked sardonically.

"Zack, shove it. They just offered me a job at the club."

"Really?" Max asked.

Jondy nodded. "Weird, huh?"

"What'd you say?"

"I told them I'd think about it," she answered. "And I will." She sighed, looking around. "I wish we had someplace quieter to talk."

"Well, why don't we go to Logan's place?" Max suggested.

Jondy and Zack exchanged looks. Finally, Jondy asked, "Won't he be a little upset that we're barging in at," she glanced at her watch, "midnight?"

"Don't worry," Max assured her. "Come on."

Obligingly, they followed her back to Logan's place. Of course, Zack grumbled the whole way. If he hadn't, it would have been un-Zack-like. Once they got there, they entered through the skylight. Jondy was relatively surprised to find a light still on inside.

"Logan!" Max called.

He walked in.

"Logan, this is Jondy. Jondy, Logan."

"We've met," Logan said with a grin. Jondy grinned back.

"How?" Max asked, confused.

"I came by looking for you, but you weren't here," Jondy explained. "But Logan was," she added with a grin.

Max just shrugged, as if to say "Whatever." "Whatever. Logan, I'm starved. Got anything to eat?"

"Go look for yourself," he answered. "You know where the fridge is."

As Max hunted through the refrigerator, Jondy sat cross-legged on the couch, Zack next to her. "So how did you two meet?" she asked Logan.

"Well, it's a long story…"

By the time they finished talking, it was almost two o'clock in the morning. The men were trying to stifle yawns, but the women were still going strong. Finally, Max noticed Logan unsuccessfully try to hide a yawn and laughed. "Jondy, I think the guys are falling asleep on us." Jondy glanced at Zack, who had one arm propped up under his head and was fast asleep.

"I think one of them's already gone," she said with a laugh.

"In that case," Logan said, trying to recover some of his dignity, "do you want to crash here for the night?"

"I take it you mean crash as in sleep this time?" Jondy asked. Max gave her a curious look, and she explained, "Just checking. Anyway, I'm too lazy to drag Zack across town, so yes, thank you."

"All right. Max, you take the guest bedroom, as usual. Jondy, do you want to stay with Max or…?"

"I'll stay here," she answered. "In case Zack wakes up and wants to split."

Max cocked her head to the side. "You actually do what he says?"

Jondy considered. "Okay, wrong choice of words. I'll stay here in case he wakes up and has an occupational hazard."

"Good enough. See you in the morning, if you're still here."

"All right. See ya."

Once they left, Jondy looked at Zack, who was still sleeping. A smile touching her lips, she took her boots and socks off, not wanting to muddy the expensive-looking couch. She tossed her jacket over the back of a chair and stretched. She didn't really have to sleep, but she did it every once in a while when she had nothing better to do. Now it looked like she wouldn't have anything better to do for a while.

She lay down, stretching out the full length of the couch, which put her feet in Zack's lap. She debated whether to move, but she was kinda comfortable like this. Finally, she decided if he didn't like it, he could move. Closing her eyes, she soon fell asleep.

~*~

Zack woke up with a start, a single ray of sunlight falling across his face. Where was he? He looked around. Jondy was stretched out on the couch, asleep, her feet in his lap. The events of the night before came flooding back. They were at Logan's. No danger there. He got up, gently placing Jondy's feet back on the couch. Bending over her, he tried to wake her up. "Jondy."

She stirred, but didn't wake up. She didn't sleep much, but when she did, it took a nuclear explosion to wake her up. After calling her name a few more times, he decided to explore other options. He shook her lightly. She hit him in the arm. He tickled her feet (her toenails were still a sparkly violet color). Her foot lashed out at him. All this while she was still asleep.

Finally, he leaned over and kissed her, half-expecting a backlash that would send him flying across the room. Instead, her eyes opened almost immediately, her eyelashes brushing against his cheek. When he finally pulled away from her, she remarked, sitting up, "I could get used to wake-up calls like this." Knowing how she slept, she asked, "Was this the first thing you tried or a last resort?"

"Last resort."

"Next time try last resorts first. Did you try hitting me?"

"I thought you'd hit me back. You're mean when you're asleep."

She grinned. "I know."

Just then, Max walked in, cocked, locked, and ready to rock. Logan was close behind her. "All right, who wants breakfast?" he asked. Three hands raised in answer. He grinned and went to work, gourmet chef that he was.

"So, Max," Jondy said, pulling on her boots and lacing them deftly, "do you like Logan because he's cute or because he's a good cook?"

Max grinned. "Both." Then she added, "But we're not like that."

Jondy groaned. "Give it a rest. It's pretty damn obvious how you feel about each other and this whole denial thing is not going to get you anywhere."

"We're not in denial. We're just friends."

"Riiight." Jondy coughed, muttering a word that sounded suspiciously like "liar."

As they ate breakfast, blueberry pancakes with real syrup and orange juice, Max asked, "So, what did you decide about the job?"

Jondy shook her head. "I don't know. I mean, I just got a new place in California and all, but there's nothing keeping me there. But on the other hand, it could be too dangerous if I stay here."

"It will be too dangerous if you stay here," Zack interrupted.

Jondy turned to him, her eyes stormy grey. "Who asked you, Zack?" she wanted to know. "You said it was too dangerous for Max to stay here, but she did, and she's doing just fine."

"If you stay, I can't be responsible for you anymore."

"Since when were you responsible for me, anyway?" she retorted.

Zack glared at her, a look which Jondy returned. Finally, he stood up and walked away. "Fuckin' male ego," Jondy muttered. She pulled out a crumpled business card from her pocket. She played with it for a while, her adroit fingers turning it over and over as she debated with herself. Finally, she stood up and walked to the phone.

Picking it up, she dialed the number on the card as Max watched her silently. "Hello? … Is Mr. Johnson there? … Sure. … Hello? … It's Angel. The singer you wanted to hire? … Yes. … I'll do it. … Sure. … Okay, thank you. … Bye." She hung up. She looked at Max and smiled. "Well, it looked like I'll be hanging around for a while."

~*~

Jondy was staying with Max and Original Cindy until she found a place of her own. She had gone back to California to get her stuff, but now she was back for good. Since her job at the club only covered nights and weekends and was not enough to support her financially, she was going to attempt to get a job at Jam Pony.

She hadn't seen Zack since he had walked out on her at Logan's. Well, to hell with him. She didn't need him. She could take care of herself just fine. Hadn't she proved that when she had come face-to-face with the big bad wolf himself? Lydecker was the enemy, and enemies could be defeated. Isn't that what they had taught them at Manticore?

A flashback. A classroom filled with children – soldiers – human beings. Lydecker stood at the front of the room, lecturing them on the art of war. "You are only as strong as your weakest link. This goes for your enemy as well. When in combat, physical or psychological, you must find their weakest link, and use it to crush them. Since they will try to do the same to you, you have to make your weakest link stronger than their strongest link."

Jondy shook her head and told herself to snap out of it. She was her own person now, not just a number. She would never be just a number again. Never, she repeated defiantly to herself as she pulled her shirt over her head. As she finished dressing, there was a knock on the door and Max stuck her head in. "Ready?"

"Ready."

They split up as soon as they reached Jam Pony, Max going to her footlocker and Jondy to the front desk. Max explained that it probably wouldn't help Jondy's chance of getting a job there if she was seen with her. Jondy shrugged and approached the desk, behind which was a man, who, as Max had said, screeched. There was just no other word for it.

"Excuse me?"

The man, inappropriately called Normal, looked at her.

"I was wondering if you had a job opening."

He groaned. "Not again."

Jondy was puzzled. "Excuse me, sir?"

"Listen, missy, I've dealt with your kind before."

"Um, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't play coy with me."

"If there's one thing I don't do, it's 'play coy'," Jondy snapped. She took a deep breath and tried to regain her composure. She didn't want to blow it. Or blow his head off, for that matter. Okay, well, she did sorta want to do the second thing, but she wasn't going to kill her would-be boss. It might look bad. She tried being reasonable. "Look, all I want is a job. If you hire me and you regret the decision later, just fire me. It's really not difficult."

After a moment, Normal (how the hell did he get that name?) reached under the counter and pulled out a few crumpled sheets of paper. "Fill this out and come back tomorrow," he grumbled. "9 A.M. sharp. You don't show up, you don't get the job."

Finally.

"Okay. I'll be there. Thank you."

"Yeah, think nothing of it."

Gee whiz, and I thought I was the only one who could be that openly sarcastic.

As they had previously agreed, Jondy met Max outside.

"How'd it go?" Max inquired.

"Like hell, but I got the job. I'm supposed to come back tomorrow at nine."

"Cool. Want to have lunch?"

Jondy nodded. "I'll meet you at Crash. Noon?"

"A'ight, cool. See ya."

"Bye."

~*~

Before she went to meet Max for lunch, Jondy stopped at a payphone and called the contact number. Beep. "Hey, Zack. I'm still in Seattle. I'm staying at Max's place until I can find my own apartment. I just wanted to let you know that…" She took a deep breath. She really hated apologizing. Especially to an answering machine. "That I'm sorry for blowing up at you last time you were here. I mean, don't think that you weren't being an asshole, 'cuz you were, but…I'm sorry. Okay, anyway, I gotta blaze. Bye."

She hung up quickly and walked to Crash, where Max was waiting for her. "Hey, Maxie. Sorry I'm late. I had to make a phone call."

"Zack?" Max asked.

Jondy nodded.

"What's it like moving around all the time?" Max asked as they sat down at a table that looked relatively clean. Only relatively.

Jondy shrugged. "I don't bother trying to make friends with anyone. First of all, I was never good at it. Second, this way, no one will notice when you leave. You don't have to make up any bullshit explanations."

"So you never had a boyfriend?"

Cut right to the chase, don't you?

But it wasn't Max Jondy was feeling bitter towards.

"I've had a few boyfriends, but nothing serious. Well, not really…"

"Not really?" Max repeated, a smirk on her face.

Jondy wondered whether to tell Max. No doubt she would get the same reaction as she did from Syl: a prolonged stare, followed by raucous laughter and obvious disbelief. At the time, Jondy had laughed it off and told Syl it was a joke. "Good one, Jondy," Syl had told her, eyes streaming because she had been laughing so hard. Yeah, real good one.

"It's nothing."

"It's something."

"Yeah, well, it's nothing I want to talk about right now, okay?" Jondy snapped. She sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just…brings back painful memories, you know?"

"I feel ya."

Do you? You don't even know the half of it.

Finally, right in the middle of their conversation, out of blue, Jondy said, "Zack."

Why the hell did I just say that?

Max looked around. "Where?"

"No, I mean…" Jondy sooo did not want to spell it out for her.

Max stared at her in confusion until the clouds lifted and she understood. "Ohhh. Oh. Oh." Essentially the same syllable, said oh so many different ways.

Jondy nodded. "I know."

"But he's, like, our brother." Max struggled to put into words what she was trying to say. But Jondy knew. Yes, Jondy knew what she was saying, and what she wasn't saying. Which was basically that, besides almost being her brother, in a non-biological kind of way, he was, well, Zack.

"Zack stopped being my brother a long time ago," she said simply.

"But he's…Zack."

"I know."

There was a long pause.

"Well, to each her own, I guess."

"Thanks, Max. That's encouraging."

Sarcasm, anyone?

Well, at least she didn't laugh.

~*~

Zack listened to the message and had to smile. Only Jondy could apologize and call someone an asshole in the same breath. He had made his rounds, so to speak, and was just coming back from Nevada, where Zane had decided to reside after the close call two months ago. Had it only been two months? It seemed so much longer.

It was that time of the year. Christmas cheer and whatnot. He gazed out the window as grey rain fell in a light but persistent drizzle, enveloping his view in a depressing translucent veil. Well, that's cheer for you. A deficient reason to be happy when there's nothing to be happy about. As if in response, he could hear Jondy as clearly as if she stood beside him.

"You're such a killjoy, Zack."

"I know," he said quietly to himself.

Maybe it was time to make another trip to Seattle.

~*~

"Jondy and Zack. I mean, talk about weird." Max was pacing back and forth in front of Logan. She had promised Jondy she wouldn't tell anyone (tell who?), but in her mind, Logan was exempt from all promises of that nature. It didn't even occur to her that she was breaching someone's confidence as she told him when Jondy had told her.

"Why is it weird?" Logan wanted to know. He was just glad Zack had finally gotten over Max. If the way Zack felt towards Max was brotherly, he'd eat his wheelchair.

Max shrugged. "I don't know. It just…is."

"Glad you think so," said a voice behind them sardonically. They both turned around.

Zack leaned against the doorframe, Mr. Macho in all looks and purposes.

"Did I come at a bad time?"

Logan wondered if saying "yes" would make him go away. Nah.

"Have you seen Jondy yet?" Max asked.

"Not yet. Of course, judging from what you said, it might be…weird if I did." If anyone could be as verbally scathing and derisive as Zack without being outright insulting, Max would like to meet that person. Or maybe she wouldn't.

"Is the feeling mutual?" Logan asked. He was trying for a diplomatic way to ask if Zack loved Jondy, or was capable of loving anyone, for that matter. He had his own doubts as far as that went.

Zack stared at him. "That's none of your damn business."

"No, it's not, but I'm asking anyway."

Zack just glared at him and turned to Max. "Where is she?"

She rattled off the address like she had been expecting him to ask. Which she had.

"Not your place." It wasn't a question.

"She got her own apartment two weeks ago."

"Oh." The message was a month old. "Thanks." He turned to leave.

"Wait." He turned back and looked at Max. "What Logan said."

Was the feeling mutual?

"I don't know."

He looked at her, and they had a shared moment of perfect understanding. Were they, were any of them, really capable of giving themselves completely to another person?

He didn't know. There were just too many things he didn't know.

~*~

Jondy was lying on her bed, reading, her stereo blaring, when she heard the window slide open. Only knowing one person who would use a window to get into an apartment on the thirteenth floor, she grinned. Five seconds later, Zack sauntered in. "Hey, Jondy."

"Hey yourself," she said with a smile, closing her book and setting it aside. She stood up, swinging her feet over the edge. Then, without any warning, she practically leapt at him and hugged him so tightly, he thought she was going to break something. He hugged her back, burying his face in his hair. She still smelled like lavender and mint. Some things never change. And sometimes everything does.

When she finally let go, she sat back down on the bed and asked, "So how've you been?" She patted the bed next to her, and Zack sat down besides her, feeling slightly apprehensive.

"I've been okay. I just got your message a few days ago."

There was a pause.

"Um, Zack…" she began.

"Jondy…" he said at the same time.

"You first," they said in unison.

The music from Jondy's stereo filled the uncomfortable silence that followed.

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

Jondy looked at Zack, who was staring steadily at the floor. His hair fell forward, hiding his eyes from view. Jondy reached towards him, then stopped. Maybe physical contact wasn't the best idea right now. Oh well; she could think of worse ones. She tried to tuck his hair behind his ear, but it kept falling back into his face. She was working from a very awkward angle, so she moved towards him, doing what she could short of crawling into his lap, although truthfully, that wasn't such a bad idea.

Finally, she combed his hair back away from his face with her fingers. When she started to move back, his hand caught hers and held it. She turned to look at him; their faces were inches apart. Simultaneously, they moved to close the distance between them.

Sometimes I feel like this is only chemistry
Stuck in a maze searching for a way to
Shut down run around feel the ground beneath me
You're so close where do you end where do I begin?
Always pushing and pulling
Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me
I'm in a daze stumbling bewildered
North of gravity head up in the stratosphere
You and I roller coaster riding love
You're the center of adrenaline
And I'm beginning to understand

He kissed her softly, then with increasing intensity. She kissed him back hesitantly, wondering whether she should shatter the moment or just go with the flow. But she was headstrong and a woman besides. So what could she do? She pulled away from him. He looked at her, the lust draining away from his eyes as he registered the solemnity in her face.

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

"Zack," she began, voice quiet, "what do we have? What is this? I mean, do we love each other? Do we just lust after each other? What?" She sounded lost, not like the self-assured, witty person she usually came off as.

At first, he didn't say anything, and she was worried that he was retreating into his detached soldier mode. Then he reached towards her. She held very still, afraid to move, afraid to breathe. He brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face, tracing her jawline. He cupped her face with his hand, running his thumb over her cheek. He touched her face like he'd memorize the way it felt. His fingers skimmed over her lips; a soft gasp escaped her.

Walk on broken glass make my way through fire
These are the things I would do for love
Farewell peace of mind kiss goodbye to reason
Up is down the impossible occurs each day
This intoxication thrills me
I only pray it doesn't kill me

Slowly, he leaned towards her, close enough that she could feel his breath on her face, but he didn't kiss her. She looked up and met his eyes. Usually cold and distant, they were filled with something that warmed her all over. Not lust, but something else. And Jondy knew that he cared about her as much as he knew how. Maybe he even loved her. Whatever it was, it was enough.

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

He bowed his head so their foreheads touched. They just stayed like that for a few moments, letting the music infuse the silence. Finally, she tilted her face towards his so their lips met. They kissed, long and sweet. Everything that followed was still the same, but now the thoughts, the feelings, the reasons behind them were different. Because now they knew they cared.

You're the center of adrenaline
And I'm beginning to understand
You could be the best thing about me

Never want to fly
Never want to leave
Never want to say what you mean to me
Never want to run
Frightened to believe
You're the best thing about me

You could be the best thing about me
What if you're the best thing about me?

~~*~~