Songfic for Linger by the Cranberries
Helga sighed as she sat down on her bed. Tears were
threatening to come, but she fought all she could to stop them. How could
he do this? Be so… so brutal with her feelings? In all her years of knowing
Arnold, this would be the last thing he would do.
She loved him, she always had. When she finally had the
courage to tell him to his face, he responded positively… with a kiss.
She blushed at the thought. Even though it took her 4 more years to do
it, she had Arnold. That must've been the happiest time of her life. She
shook the thought from her mind immediately. She didn't need to be any
more depressed than she already was. She finally lifted herself off the
bed, refusing to surrender to its softness, and walked over to her mirror.
Picking up a brush, Helga watched herself brush her hair with a forlorn
look in her eyes. Catching this she threw the brush down angrily and glared
at her reflection. This!… this is making her weak, making her vulnerable.
I can't let this get the better of me, she thought.
They had been together all throughout high school to
this day, halfway through their senior year. Knowing thinking about it
would send her into the dark hole she'd been to so many times before, she
decided to call somebody, anybody, to get her mind off of things. How about
Lila? No! Her mind screamed at her.
During her high school years she'd become good friends
with those such as Lila and Rhonda, and used to smile at the fact that
she could talk to either of them to get things off her back… ever since
Phoebe moved to Japan with her family to get better aquainted with her
heritage. Helga was devastated, especially when she heard that was Phoebe's
idea.
But back to Lila…
Helga growled. She should've known Arnold wouldn't have suddenly acquired an infatuation for her, especially since he had
shown no emotions pertaining so prior. But why Lila? Helga knew Arnold
always had a thing for her, no matter what Lila might have said to guide
him otherwise. Helga sighed and sat back down on her bed. I guess I was
never the kind of person he wanted. His angelic, virtuous, self must've
always craved the goodness that had shone so brightly in himself. Helga
laughed softly. He hadn't changed a bit.
One would think a person would get slightly jaded upon
entering high school, but not Arnold. He still did the right thing, and
he made many friends because of his insatiable infatuation to party. He
has it all, Helga thought, a life, good friends, and the girl he's always
wanted.
Helga took a deep breath before she let herself slip
again. No, she thought, I'm going over there right now to talk to him,
set him straight. There's no way he'll get away with this without knowing
what he's done to me.
When Helga arrived at Sunset Arms, she looked up at it
for a moment, debating whether or not this was a good idea. Deciding it
was she rang the doorbell, held her breath, and hoped she would get out
of there emotionally bruiseless…
" Hello… oh. Arnolds' up there." … or not. As she stepped
in she walked briskly to the stairs. She had never seen Phil act so… rude.
When she reached his room she flung the door open and
stormed in. Arnold, who had been reading, looked up startled.
" Helga! What are you-" Helga glared at him. She
had prepared a speech for him, the beginning of it anyway. Being a young
writer she knew it would sound good, so she said it with confidence.
" If you, if you could return… don't let it burn, don't
let it fade…" Arnold stood up, he knew where this was going.
" Helga, who do you think you are just barging up here
telling me this! Stop being so rude and inconsiderate!" He yelled
hoping to get some sort of reaction from Helga, but her got none.
" I'm sure I'm not being rude, it's just your attitude…"
Arnold was about to reply when he saw unshed tears form in her eyes. He
had never seen her composure break like this, so he merely sat back in
shock.
" It's tearing me apart… it's ruining everything." Helga sank back into a chair, knowing she failed. Arnold stepped up, sorry
for her now, and walked toward Helga.
" Helga, I-" She looked up at him angrily, as her tears
stung her blue eyes.
" I swore, I swore I would be true, and honey so did
you… So why were you holding her hand? Is that the way we stand?" She continued
more feverishly than before, determined to get this right.
" Were you lying all the time? Was it just a game to
you?" Her eyes were suddenly downcast. " But I'm in so deep…" She looked
up to him, and saw something that wasn't there before. Regret? No, she
won't consider that now. It's not possible.
" You know I'm such a fool for you…" She held up her
finger and swirled it in circles as she looked at it sorrowfully.
" You've got me wrapped around your finger…" She
saw him make an effort, a weak one, to say sorry. She knew he wouldn't
mean if he said it anyway, but she was tired of being mad and angry… she
just wanted to cry.
" Do you have to let it linger." She whispered. " Do
you have to, do you have to let it linger." She continued louder, as to
be sure he heard. To be sure he heard just how miserable he's made her.
" Oh, I thought the world of you. I thought nothing could
go wrong… but I was wrong. I was wrong…" She whispered to herself. She
could almost feel the words sting him, she knew he was hurt by this, but
she could also tell he didn't quite understand. He never could, he was
so dense.
" Helga, I'm sorry. I really am. I just…" He stopped
to look at her expression. Helga laughed quietly and sadly. He said it,
he said he was sorry. He didn't mean a word.
" If you, if you could get by trying not to lie… Things
wouldn't be so confused, and I wouldn't feel so used." Helga lifted herself
out of the chair and walked toward the door. Before she walked out of it
she looked him in the eye and smiled wistfully. " But you always really
knew, I just want to be with you" And with that she walked out, leaving
a stunned Arnold to his thoughts.
*~ acabado!
AN: As you can tell, I made Helga's dialect the lyrics. I thought it
would be more realistic that way. Sorry to make it so depressing, but I
had to make it that way to coincide with the song. As you know, read and
review please. I'm a new author here and I plan to post more stories if
you liked this one. Recuerdos, and I hope to see you in the future!