Duo watched as Trowa wrapped his arm around Quatre's waist

Tears of Pain

Duo watched as Trowa wrapped his arm around Quatre's waist as the two of them watched the sun setting over the lake near their safehouse.  He saw Quatre snuggle close and his shoulders lift in a sigh of contentment.  Duo sighed, but his was not a sigh of happiness.  Duo had not been his happy, cheerful self lately and he knew it.  Ever since Trowa and Quatre finally got together . . .

           

He watched the two of them, so happy together.  A happiness that he himself never seemed to possess.  He felt the hole inside of him grow larger, and the deep longing he possessed grow stronger.  He wished so hard that he could have what they had.  He'd give practically anything.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and forced his eyes away from them; downward.  He imagined that it was he and Heero rather than Quatre and Trowa who were so happy together.  But in the back of his head he knew it was only a dream; that he and Heero would never be able to be together.  Heero would probably end up marrying Relena. 

Duo couldn't even bear to think of that.  It was too painful for him to bear.  Jut the thought of the two of them together could send him into a state of depression for an entire day, which seemed to be happening a lot lately.  He seemed to constantly be depressed, but how could he not be, when the one thing he wanted most in life was so close, yet so far away.

He looked up.  There was Heero a few yards ahead, sitting on the grass on the way back to the safehouse.  His head was bent and his was intensely studying the content of some device.  Duo sighed.  He was tired and didn't feel like walking all the way around Heero, just to avoid him.  He started towards the safehouse steering a few feet away from Heero, just to keep it safe.

Once inside the safehouse, and in his room, he collapsed on the bed.  He didn't know how much longer he could take this mental torture.  He squeezed his eyes shut and hugged his pillow as tears of pain began to roll down his cheeks.