Title: Seeing You Too

Title: Seeing You Too

Name: Joy       

Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com

Rating: PG

            So I took the stupid thing. No one has ever written me a poem before. I wanted it. Some little part of immortality. No matter what happens, I will live forever because of those few words. That sounds like something Logan would say… He was so nervous to show me. I mean I was surprised when he half-heartedly admitted that he wrote about me. I think I did pretty well getting that out of him. I never imagined he would actually show me one he wrote about me. I thought he would show me a poem about his mom or a sunset. Something goofy like that- not me.

            I wonder if there are others… I doubt he'll show me after the way I took off. I shouldn't have done that, but emotions were running too high. I was nearly in tears for god's sake. These few words got to me. I guess it's not really the words… He's the one that got to me… How does he do that? I have tried so hard to not let him get to me, but the feelings keep coming. Lydecker would be so disappointed. I know Zack is, then again Zack has his own issues.

            Maybe if I go over there I can sneak a look at some of his other poems. He would kill me, though. Maybe not. If it is out in an obvious place, I'll take it as a sign he trusts me with it. I'm just not allowed to freak about anything in it… What if he writes about other women? I mean if there is stuff about fair haired and skinned beauties, those aren't about me. I don't think I want to read that. I could probably figure out which ones are written about me… Maybe not. I could just take a peak.

            This is stupid. I'm standing in Logan's living room debating about finding his journal when I know he would be mad at me if he found me. Oh God, when is he going to realize I took the other poem? I'm not going to think about that now… I'll just look around a little. If I don't see the book, I'll go home.

            What if he brought it into his bedroom? I can't go in there- that is his room. I still hate the thought of him going through my stuff when we first met. Hey, that's right! He went through everything I owned. He probably even went through my underwear drawer! Ok, I'll just peak into his bedroom and see if it's on his nightstand.

           

            I shouldn't have done that… He looks amazing while he sleeps. Without his glasses on he looks… I don't know… different, more approachable, sweet. His hair is going everywhere right now. He's blowing puffs of air through his mouth. He reminds me of a little boy. What would Logan have been like as a kid? Probably just shorter. Maybe not. Well, with a father that was one of those manly men, as he put it, maybe Logan was a prep school brat. Maybe he was a poet or a con artist. Maybe he was the little boy that would drop coins to look up ladies skirts… Maybe not.

            I don't see the book, but I'm not looking any further than this doorframe. I will not invade his inner sanctum… His inner sanctum… I haven't looked in the computer room yet. Goodnight Logan. Sleep well. I have poems to read.

            There it is… There is something on top. What is this? Seeing you… I wonder if this is new. Well, let's see… Wow… This is about me. What other female in Logan's life would have motor oil on her cheek? I guess I'm back at wow. Desperation of his night, huh? I like that. My Angel, My Savior, My Sanity. So I was his angel in the last poem… Ok, I can do without the butterflies in my stomach, thank you. I do mean more to him than his own personal cat burglar… way more. I guess he wanted to prove it to me.

            He wanted me to find this. He knew I'd be back. I guess he knows I took the other poem. The stupid thing is neither of us will ever mention it. We could carry on a love affair of words for years, never admitting out loud each was writing the other. Why are we like this? Because we're both chicken. I edged closer to him about the vacation, and he stepped back. He edged closer to me by showing me the poem but I stepped back. My turn. How do I step forward? Maybe by opening his bedroom door again?

            Where's a pen? I need a pen. I can write too. Not like he can, but I can try…

            God he is gorgeous while he sleeps. Night Logan, happy reading when you wake…

                                   

                                                          Seeing You Too

                                                         Pride and heart

                                                        Strength and gentility

                                                        Life and Love

                                                        Laughter and kindness

                                                        Patience in all things

                                                        Protection and worry

                                                        Purpose and mission

                                                        With a glass of wine and a fine meal

                                                        And maybe

                                                                    My Knight

                                                                                My Side-Kick

                                                                                            My Anchor