Baka Shrink!
By: Priscilla Violet Regina
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Really! The only thing you'd got if you sued is a multi-colored toe-sock (no matching partner) and a pen with no ink. Really want to sue? Hell you don't have to sue to have those, I'll give 'em to you now if you want! ~.รณ
Warning: Extremely funny. I'm not kidding, you've been warned! *at least I hope it is!*
Wufei walks into the study and seats himself at the large mahogany desk in the middle of the room. Reaching into the front drawer, he pulls out his small glasses and dons them, frowning.
"Baka Duo! I swear sometimes he must be an onna with the stupid things he does!" Pulling a tissue from his pocket, the Chinese boys proceeds then to wipe the hot pink lipstick kisses off the lenses of his spectacles, scowling the whole time. Finally finished, he once again places them on the end of his nose, smiling at the 'superb' job he did of cleaning them.
Yawning, he lifts the screen of the laptop in front of him while tugging at the rubber band constricting his hair, until the silky black locks are freed, falling in front of his face.
Popping his knuckles, Wufei places his fingers on the keys.
Feel lucky. It wasn't y idea to do this, it would never be my idea.
My shrink said if I didn't do it he was going to dye my hair pink .
Baka shrink...
Anyway.
This is to all of you. Even you, Duo.
Yes, you too.
Stop it. Don't ever do that dance again. At least not in the my presence.
Anyway, once again.
You guys really mean a lot to me. Really you do.
Heero if you 'Hn.' one more time I'll shoot you.
Thank you.
I'll start with each individual pilot, the most efficient way to do this.
Quatre-sama: You are so sweet it sickens me. You are a honey-covered, chocolate-coated, caramel gum drop extraordinaire. But who else can comfort anyone's sorrows and fears with a hug and few kind words? Thank you for being there for me, and the other pilots. You were and are always there for us in our time of need. Some more than others, but we won't go there.
Trowa-kun: The only other person who enjoys and emanates...
SILENCE.
Thanks for...being quiet when I needed to get away from the baka Duo's mouth. I really appreciate it. Keep up the good work.
Duo...ah yes, Du-chan. I know you hate being called that, why else would I have used that name? Oh, stop whining, Heero's about to pull out his...
Oh-too late.
Shut-up Duo and listen to me. I know you can't hear me! Just...keep reading, even with that gun at your temple.
You bring joy and happiness when it is least expected and/or wanted. How, I'll never know. yeah, okay, so you're a good person to be stuck with in a fight, but not in a locked room. Remind me never to let Sally do that again.
Not now, later, you moron!
Anyway (for the third time now, thanks to our beloved Du-chan)...
You are the only person who can bring a smile, to my face. Now, whether that's from your continuous bad jokes or when I pound you into the ground, I'll leave that for you to decide.
You know I'm just messing with you.
Okay, so you're loud, obnoxious, clumsy, and stupid sometimes, but, despite all that, you're still a great friend.
Heero, you may remove the barrel of your gun from his forehead now.
Arigato.
And last, but certainly not least...Hee-chan: Alright, I promise never to call you that again, really! Put the gun away, please.
Please?
Okay, fine, but I'm warning you Hee-chan...this is your laptop!
That's what I thought.
Anyway...(fourth time, not Duo's fault...Amazing!)
I can see why you are called the Perfect Soldier, but you gotta fix one thing about yourself.
Telling your girlfriend "Omae o korosu" on Valentine's Day over a romantic candle light dinner is really not a good idea.
But don't feel bad about it, you always have next year to make it up!
Now, on to the serious stuff.
You are the one pilot I felt I really got close to, even though I think saying 20 words passed between us is an exaggeration. But you don't need words spoken to know someone...you just do. You understand me better than I do myself, I think sometimes.
Thank you, or, in your native tongue: Domou arigato gozaimasu. For everything Heero.
I have one question for you though...
That kiss last night meant nothing, right?
Haha, just kidding guys.
Yes, Duo, I just made a "funny" as you prefer to call them.
And, yes, it was actually funny.
Moving on...
I guess that's it. Wait, one more thing:
INJUSTICE!!!
Gomen, had to get it out.
Oh, I almost forgot.
Baka shrink.
-Owari
