Title:
Night
Name:
Joy
Email: SleepingBeauty2@ziplip.com
Rating: R
Something heavy is on my
arm… Max. Her head is cutting off the circulation in my arm. If I move just a
little… Hey, that worked. She laid her head on my chest… Oh my god… Last night
really happened. She is definitely naked and pressed up against me… I can
breathe. Really! I can! Relax…
We made
love… We did. She initiated… Now I'm up…in a variety of ways… I can't believe
it. This amazing woman that I love so much, gave herself to me so completely,
so innocently. Nothing was hurried or strained… Even in my fantasies there is
always tension or awkwardness. That was…perfect… The way she looked at me the
whole time, her eyes piercing my soul. We just watched each other, whispering
vows of love… She's still here in my arms. She didn't run away. I thought she'd
run away… not that I wanted her to. I just thought she would, but here she
is…my love in my arms.
I hug her softly. A smile appears on her lips. I
kiss the tip of her nose and her eyes flutter open…not wide, but open. I caress
her cheek gently. "Hey there, gorgeous," I whisper.
"Hey…did I wake up?" she says with a yawn.
"I just woke you up, goofy," I say, still
touching her cheek.
"Yeah, but it's not like you wake up in the
night for no reason."
"Well, your head was cutting off the
circulation in my arm, but I'll live. I mean I woke up with you next to me…
That is an amazing feeling," I explain sweetly, running my fingers through
her hair.
"Amazing, huh?" she says snuggling closer
to me. I can't help but moan slightly. Her naked flesh is pressed up against
mine. Her smile grows a bit, "Those things have a mind of their own, don't
they?"
"Yeah well…" I mutter, embarrassed at my
current predicament. "He can't help being excited when you're this
close," I try to cover.
"So the question becomes," she says
pausing, as she throws on of her legs over mine to entangle us together,
"is even closer desired?"
All I can think at this moment is how many positions
I can put her very flexible body into. "The desire is definitely there,
Max. I will only say, it is 4:30 in the morning and I doubt I'll be that…"
I can't even finish the thought because Max is on top of me, kissing me.
"You said that last time… Except it was 2:00 am
then. And for the record you were that and more."
I'm going to die loving this woman…I know it.
I wake up with a start. There is no warmth beside
me. There is no Max… No… No… No… She wouldn't do that to me…not after last
night. I close my eyes in pain until I hear something outside my bedroom…
"Logan!" It's Max. "Help! I'm being
attack by my attempt at breakfast!"
Oh, thank you God! I grab for my boxers, only to
find them gone. Max has tidied up the bedroom… All our clothes are gone from
the floor. That however means sitting in my chair naked… I must explain being
naked in a chair to my love, especially the cold factor … Cold! There go my
buddies. I will get them back soon I hope. With Max around, sooner then I can
imagine… Clean boxers on and a white t-shirt and I'm set to save my damsel from
her distress.
I arrive in the kitchen to see Max covered partially
with flour, some sort of batter, and what appears to potentially be yogurt. She
is pouting so cute. "I can't cook! I can't! I've tried…Cooking and I are
not friends!"
I pull her into my lap soothing her hurt feelings
and firebrand spirit. "Don't get mad…but what were you trying to
make?"
Her pout increases. "I started making pancakes
and it was going well until the batter spit-up all over me at which time I
learned I mix-up the baking soda and the baking powder… I stopped that pursuit
and tried to make a plate of fruit and yogurt for you… ya know the way you do
with the little cup in the center and fruit all arranged…I miss judge the
consistency of the yogurt and it sort of got away from me… I screamed for you
after the pancake debacle. I thought the yogurt would work out," she says
leaning her forehead to mine, which I promptly kiss.
"New rules- I leave the bug killing to you…You
leave the cooking to me. Deal?"
She likes that idea. She hurries off to change while
I call her in sick and make breakfast. She wanted pancakes, so she will get
pancakes.
"Who were you on the phone with?" she
calls from the bedroom.
"Normal… You need to take it easy today… You
had a rough night."
"No, I had a rough day… Nothing about last
night was at all rough," she says sweetly, as she touches my shoulder.
"Fine… but indulge me. I want to know you're OK
and not shaking tremendously," I say, putting my arm around her waist.
"Logan, you realize I shake bad almost every
morning- bout 6:30 every day."
No, I didn't know that. Why hasn't this been
mentioned before? Before was before an us… "No, I didn't know…
thanks for telling me." Come on. Do the supportive boyfriend thing…. I
look into her eyes and say, "I know it's tough for you to admit stuff like
that." Her eyes soften… She knows its tough for me to say things like
that.
"Good job with the supportive thing there… You
get brownie points."
"Brownie Points? How do brownie points
work?" What the hell is this about?
"It is a carefully derived system that women
use. I, myself, have only become privy to its secrets in the last few
years."
"Well, what do brownie points get me? What can
I trade them in for?" I ask with a decidedly wicked grin.
"Down boy… They can't be traded for anything.
They simply cover over the mistakes you've already made. Example: You canceling
a date at the last minute to work on Eyes Only- brownie points get you less of
the wrath of Max then should be warranted on such an occasion. Basically,
brownie points save you from yourself," she says with a hand on her hip.
"But what if I never do anything wrong that
would require the use of my brownie points?" I ask innocently.
She is laughing in my face. "You don't honestly
believe that, do you? If so we are going to have problems."
"Why do you think I'm going to screw up?"
I say, now a little hurt.
"Because we are both pigheaded and stubborn. We
screwed up as friends all the time, as lovers it will be no different. Besides,
until we figure out how to balance the work and play thing, we're going to hurt
each other a lot, I'd imagine."
"When did you become so wise?"
She smiles at me one of other great Max smiles that
make me want to worship her. "The minute I realized this could work."
"I'd say that earns you some brownie points
too," I say pulling her into my lap and kissing her long and hard.
Our day is spent together resting and, well, not
resting… I like this a lot. I like being together all day and all night. Being
in love feels so right…I'm Max's first love. Whoa. I'm not going to screw this
up…I want to be her first and only!
She is snuggled into my arms on the sofa… We're
having another brown out. There is a very romantic glow about us…it's the
candles of course. I'm going to read to my sweetness. I doubt she was ever read
to as a child. "Sweetness?"
"Hum?" she sighs.
"Let me up for a minute… I need to get
something from the trunk." She scoots to the side and I slide into my
chair. I reappear before her with a copy of The Velveteen Rabbit my
mother had to read to me as a boy. This was mama's special book. It only
appeared when I was sick or I was feeling especially bad. I remember having an
awful fight with my dad when I was fifteen and my mother retrieved the book.
It's funny but the moment I saw it, I knew I was really loved.
"Max," I say as I move myself back onto
the sofa, "this was my mother's. I was hoping you'd let me read it to
you."
Max's eyes begin to fill with tears, then they
quickly disappear. She carefully removes the book from my hands and flips
through it. "It's a children's story book… The pictures are beautiful…
I've never been read to before," she whispers quietly, handing me back the
book.
I put my arm around her and pull her close. I begin
to read this story that I know will get to Max… but I still think it's worth
reading. She is absorbed in this tale of a small toy's search to become REAL.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day,
when they were lying side by side...
"Does
it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the
Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for
a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become
Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he
was always truthful. "When you are
Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound
up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the
Skin Horse, "you become. It takes
a long time. That's why it doesn't
usually happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to
be carefully kept. Generally, by the
time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out
and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Max is totally lost in the story. She looks so much
like a little girl right now…so innocent. I never want any harm to come to her
head or heart. I kiss her head as I continue the story…
"You must have your old Bunny!" she said.
"Fancy all that fuss for a toy!"
"Give me my Bunny!" he said. "You
mustn't say that. He isn't a toy. He's REAL!"
When the little Rabbit heard that he was happy, for
he knew what the Skin Horse had said was true at last. The nursery magic had
happened to him, and he was a toy no longer. He was Real. The Boy himself had
said it.
That night he was almost too happy to sleep, and so
much love stirred in his little sawdust heart that it almost burst.
I'm reading about how the little boy becomes very
sick and the bunny guards him. Max looks so concerned. I see tears well in her
eyes as I read that all the boy's toys have to be burned because of the Scarlet
Fever germs. She looks so distraught for the little rabbit… I'll get to the
good part.
He thought of those long sunlit hours in the garden
-- how happy they were -- and a great sadness came over him. He seemed to see
them all pass before him, each more beautiful than the other, the fairy huts in
the flower-bed, the quiet evenings in the wood when he lay in the bracken and
the little ants ran over his paws; the wonderful day when he first knew that he
was Real. He thought of the Skin Horse, so wise and gentle, and all that he had
told him. Of what use was it to be loved and lose one's beauty and become Real
if it all ended like this? And a tear, a real tear, trickled down his little
shabby velvet nose and fell to the ground… And presently the blossom opened,
and out of it there stepped a fairy…
"Little Rabbit," she said, "don't you
know who I am?"
The Rabbit looked up at her, and it seemed to him
that he had seen her face before, but he couldn't think where.
"I am the nursery magic Fairy," she said.
"I take care of all the playthings that the children have loved. When they
are old and worn out, and the children don't need them any more, then I come
and take them away with me and turn them into
Real."
"Wasn't I Real before?" asked the little
Rabbit.
"You were Real to the Boy," the Fairy
said, "because he loved you. Now you shall be Real to every one." And
she held the little Rabbit close in her arms and flew with him into the
wood…And she kissed the little Rabbit again and put him down on the grass.
"Run and play, little Rabbit!" she said…
He was a Real Rabbit at last, at home with the other rabbits.
Twin tears just descended my beloved's face. She is
so wrapped up in the story she has forgotten to be embarrassed at her show of
emotion. "Last page," I whisper…
"Why, he looks just like my old Bunny that was
lost when I had scarlet fever!" But he never knew that it really was his
own Bunny, come back to look at the child who had first helped him to be Real.
"The End," I say. Max starts
crying… really crying. "Sweetness?" I pull Max into my lap after
setting the book aside. She has nestled her whole body between my shoulder and
my lap. I think I might have opened the floodgate. I kiss her forehead and
stroke her hair… She's probably needed to cry like this for a long time. It
cleanses the soul…and Lord knows she holds enough inside her. "I got
ya," I whisper. "I'm right here… You're not alone, baby." I've
never had the urge to call her baby before…
I reach over and get her some tissues
when I hear her sniffle. "I'm a mess over a children's story…" she
says with disgust as she blows her nose and wipes her eyes. "I'm
empathizing with a stuffed rabbit!"
I smile, "That's the point,
love. Everyone does. Everyone feels less then REAL at times in his or her life
or in certain situations… For children, it's like growing up, for me it's
normally about being good enough for my family, for you it's probably feeling
human or a real girl. The story is well loved because it's about the power of love
on a person…"
"Remember how I told you nobody
ever really gets over their first love… that's even true in the story. The
rabbit goes back to check on the boy even though he couldn't stay with the boy
anymore."
Max just burst into tears again…
This time I have no clue why she is crying like that. She is clutching me for
all I'm worth. She very well may crush my windpipe. "I don't want to be
apart," I hear her mutter through tears. "I just got you."
OK…Emotional female- she's gone all
girl on me here. "Sssshhhh…" I say stroking her hair. "I'm not
going anywhere…and… and if you have to… I'll find away to be with you then
too." I said that right? I'm telling Max, I'm part of the deal…
Her head comes off my shoulder. She
is staring me full in the face. Her face is wet with tears, her eyes are blood
shot, and her chin is trembling. "Really?"
"Really. You're stuck with
me," I say with confidence. Where the confidence came from I have no clue,
but its there. Max is crushing me again. "Max!" I squawk.
She
releases me from the mammoth hold to look at me… "I couldn't breath."
Our lips meet again, the way they
have many times in the last couple days. I am in heaven. I'm Max's first love
and I will be her only!
