by fools gold. 2001
*disclaimer: I do not own them. If you sue me, all you're getting is the sunflower seeds I'm eating right now. So there. :P*
Breakdown
The Hannibal Lecter ordeal had just happened and the doctor had escaped. Clarice was still a little shocked at what had happened. Every moment lately in her life was plagued with thoughts about him. She didn't know why, because she really didn't believe that Dr. Lecter would come after her. There was a small sickening feeling of regret in her. Regret that she had called the police. It was like... she missed him.
What the hell's wrong with me? He's a psychotic monster! How can I miss him? she constantly thought to herself. But it was true. She did miss him. He was the only one who cared about her besides Ardelia. It seemed like everyone at work was hunting her, trying to bring her down every chance they got. Sometimes, it would get so overwhelming, that she would have to call in sick from work. Her parents were dead and she had no one.
That's pretty low, girl. Finally someone cares for you but they're a cannibal. The past few days had been very depressing for her. She just couldn't stop thinking about him....
The next day, she went to work, and handed in her written report to Crawford. She was about to leave when Crawford stopped her. "Starling, wait. I need to tell you something. I hate to give you bad news, but for a couple of weeks, you can't work. The 'people in higher places' have to review your report and everything that's been going on. Then, after they're done, and if they're satisfied, they'll give you assignments again. I'm sorry," he said. It was like another blow to her stomach. Everything was going wrong. She had no job and no one cared for her. The last thing she had was gone and she might not get it back. She nodded her head numbly and walked out of the Behaveral Sciences unit.
The sun had almost finished setting and the sky was dark blue and clear. She exited the building. She couldn't think straight. Clarice got into her car and drove home.
When she arrived at the place Ardelia and her shared, she found no one there. Figures, she thought. Ardelia is probably with her boyfriend right now, where as I've got no social life. Clarice stumbled into the laundry room. It was her favorite place to be when she was depressed. The warm vibrating of the washer helped to calm her down. She stuck a load into the machine and turned it on. Her back leaned against it as she slid down to sit on the floor. She put her arms around her legs and hugged them. Then, she started to sob softly. The radio was playing in the laundry room as she cried. She normally didn't listen to it, but she didn't care whether it was on or not right now. She just needed something.
"Next up on Extreme Radio 104.5 is Linkin Park's "Crawling". Enjoy," the radio DJ said. The song came on....
"There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming / confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling / I can't seem
To find myself again
As she listened and cried, she realized how similar the song was to her feelings. She felt confused that this was happening to her and why she missed Lecter. Also, she felt like she had no control. Starling heard someone enter the room. Ardelia must be back. She probably thinks that I've snapped, she thought. The person came and sat next to her. Starling didn't look up. She just kept her head buried in her arms, crying. The music continued.
"My walls are closing in
[Without a sense of confidence / I'm convinced
there's just too much pressure to take]
I've felt this way before
So insecure"
Then, the person put their arm around her. Starling's blood ran cold, despite the numbness she felt. The arm around her was larger, stronger than Ardelia's. This wasn't Ardelia. She looked up...into the maroon eyes of Hannibal Lecter. She stiffened in shook as he smiled at her, wiping her tears away.
"It's OK," he said, quietly. To his surprise, Clarice pulled him into a hug and cried into his shoulder. It took him a minute to compose himself. I can't stand to see her like this, he thought. He rubbed her back. As they sat there, on the cold, hard laundry room floor, with the waching machine on their backs, the radio contiued to play.
"Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real."
end
*do a sequel? please tell by reviewing, or if u prefer, email me at: fools_gold4@hotmail.com. later.*
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