*** Your Title Here ***

      Title: MEMENTOS I: Perceptions & Doubts

      (Rated PG/Sheridan/Luis - Post Ep Angst - 6/06/01)

      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~

      Could an eternity of love be thrown away in a minute?

      Photographs didn't lie, neither did the past, so why did
      Sheridan doubt Luis as he stood before her, swearing that he
      was still true? His eyes shone with a strange truth, against
      all odds and Sheridan remembered the moment when he slid the
      engagement ring on her finger, a moment so perfect, it was
      held in her heart as if carved there, forever.

      //Remember what you saw.//

      Yes, that. The sight of Luis making love to another woman on
      the night of their engagement party. Yes, that horrible,
      miserable, soul-shattering sight.

      But the eyes can deceive, Sheridan thought frantically.

      Can't they?

      But then again, so can the memory. Memories of Luis loving
      her, fighting for her, watching her through eyes that held
      nothing but the light of true love within their depths.

      Deceptions all ... or were they? Her own ears heard the
      phone call, her eyes saw the betrayal, so what was holding
      her back? Why did she pause in calling security?

      Lies were lies were lies. Just because Luis denied, did that
      make the impossible true?

      Sheridan pushed past Luis and grabbed the wine bottle she'd
      brought out from the kitchen. It uncorked with a
      disconcerting ease and she resisted the urge to simply put it
      to her lips and drain it down in one huge, sloppy gulp. What
      a blackout that would have been -- but forgetting, how sweet
      that would be.

      //Remember what you saw.//

      This night, no, the past year would have never happened and
      she'd finally be free, free of the sights, the sounds and the
      lies, the damnable, horrible lies.

      Forever.

      But a lifetime of etiquette took over and Sheridan poured out
      a slim glass, not bothering to offer Luis any. To hell with
      him, she thought viciously, this one is mine. The alcohol
      burned her throat on the way down and settled in her stomach
      with a comforting warmth, the pain inching back, just the
      slightest bit.

      Now I see how people can get addicted to the stuff, Sheridan
      thought with a morbid chuckle. Another glass, another long
      swallow and she turned to Luis. "So it all comes down to the
      past, doesn't it?"

      He stood there stoically and nodded. "It comes down to
      trust."

      "How can I trust you?" Another deep gulp of wine. "You know
      what you're asking me? To trust your word over my own eyes.
      That's a hell of a lot to ask."

      "I asked you to be my love, the other half of my soul.
      Forever. Eternally, and you said yes. How is this any more
      to ask?" Dark, unblinking eyes and the glass trembled in
      Sheridan's hand.

      She shook her head. "You're asking me to deny enough evidence
      to convict any criminal that you ever arrested. You're asking
      me to believe my family hates me enough to destroy me in such
      an awful manner." She paused, hoping suddenly the wine would
      last the night entire. "You're asking me to deny everything
      I've ever believed in."

      "I'm asking you to give me a chance. To take my record into
      account so to speak." Impulsively, and Luis' hands raked
      through his hair. "I love you, Sheridan. I've always loved
      you and I hope to God I've proved it, more than once. Why,
      even a judge ..."

      Sheridan whirled around, eyes blazing. "This isn't a trial.
      If it were, you'd be heading to your cell long ago."

      Luis stared at her, sad eyes searching hers. "If this were a
      trial," he said quietly. "I know you'd be fairer to me than
      anyone else. Because I believe in your love, in your
      intelligence and your fairness."

      Pleading then, and she could barely stand the sound. "Think,
      Sheridan ... think about what you thought you saw and how you
      can reconcile that to our past. Then, think about Julian and
      your father ... who would have more of a right to claim your
      trust, me or them?" His voice turned desperate. "Even in
      the face of the unimaginable."

      Hands shaking, she filled her glass again. "It is
      unimaginable, isn't it?" Another wincing sip of wine, sour
      against her tongue. "If anyone had forced me to make the
      choice between you and my family, there would have been no
      contest. You versus Julian and my father, what a joke that
      would have been. How happy I'd be to leave everything
      behind, pretending my family had died or disappeared in some
      tragic incident or another." Sheridan's head began to swim
      comfortably in a sea of drunkenness. "But now," she laughed
      blackly. "I think I like Julian better than I like you. And,
      God help me, I trust him more."

      She banged the glass against the table and Luis jumped at the
      sharp sound. "If that doesn't shame you ... " she growled
      blurrily, weaving on her feet. "Nothing will."

      Luis swallowed hard. "I'm not ashamed, because I'm an
      innocent man." His voice softened. "And you're innocent too.
      They're in on this, Sheridan, I swear -- Julian, Rebecca and
      your father. Think ... even if you think the worst of me,
      what would have I to gain from risking our engagement in such
      a stupid manner?"

      "My money," she snarled, reaching for straws.

      Alas, was there enough money in the world for such cruelty?

      He sighed heavily. "If your money meant that much, why would
      I risk it for a one-night stand?" Policeman's posture, and
      Sheridan's shoulders stiffened. "And if you want to be
      crude, let's be crude then. I could be with you, have sex
      with you, anytime I wanted to. If I was so cold-hearted and
      mercenary, what difference would it have made to me what
      woman I was with?"

      Her lip trembled and the comforting fog of wine lifted.
      "You're a bastard, you know that? A real bastard."

      His mouth set in a hard line. "I love you. And if I have to
      talk this way to make you see the truth ...."

      "I *saw* the truth!" she cried, tottering toward him, tiny
      hand clenched in a fist. "I saw you and her and ... and ..."

      "And what?" Luis asked, grabbing Sheridan's arms and
      steadying her. "And what, darling? And none of it made
      sense to you? I'm not surprised, because it doesn't make
      sense to me and I'm supposedly the one who was there and
      doing this horrible thing you claimed." His voice turned
      relentlessly kind. "Sweetheart, search your heart. You fell
      in love with me for reasons, try to think, think back to what
      those reasons were."

      The photograph stared back at Sheridan, and the memories hit
      her like a reeling flood, sweet, warm water over a soul that
      knew its share of bruises. Could she put such a deception
      past her family, liars and thieves they were? Could she
      assign such a betrayal to Luis? How could any man lie so
      well, but be caught the last, possible minute?

      //Remember what you saw.//

      Thoughts of Lear then, of his self-inflicted blindness, and
      she sadly understood. The eyes can deceive, trust them not,
      and how sweet it would be to fall back into Luis' arms, this
      one terrible evening forgotten.

      How sweet ... and how damned stupid.

      "No," she said with finality. "I know what I saw. There's
      no denying it."

      Was it the wine that made her so stubborn, or was it an
      instinct for survival, one borne of living in the vipers'
      nest, one borne of living through being buried alive?

      What did it matter anyway, she thought miserably? What's
      done is done and after that, only ashes remain.

      But Luis didn't seem as convinced. "Fine," he said,
      frowning. "I'll just have to prove it to you, prove my
      innocence." His voice lowered. "And when I do ..."

      "Yes?" she asked, her chin tilted high and proud. She *was*
      a Crane after all, wasn't she? "What are you going to do
      then?"

      "I'm going to love you twice as much as I do today, no, even
      more than that." Tearfully, and Sheridan's knees went weak
      at the sound of his words. "Because every day I love you
      more, no matter if we're together or apart."

      He reached out and took her hand, and there was no pulling
      away, not even if she wanted to. "I love you, Sheridan.
      Yesterday, today, and forever. Whether you agree to it or
      not, I'm going to love you. Nothing can stop that, not even
      you, angel."

      Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. Oh, what an actor
      he was, what a liar and ...

      But he was gone then, the door swinging open in his wake and
      she was left bereft, as if abandoned shoeless in the snow.

      //Remember what you saw.//

      Sheridan picked up the photograph, remembering and the rest
      of the wine disappeared without hesitation. What I've seen,
      what I've seen ... and suddenly, there were no easy answers.

      Even for eyes that thought they knew it all.

      *~*~*~*~**~*~*
      end

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