Disclaimer: I don't own em'

Title: Mourning
Rating: PG
Spoilers: All episodes

Summary: Logan, Bling and Charlie deal with the death of Max and Tinga.

A/N:

First of all thanks to all you dedicated readers for all your thoughtful reviews. I really appreciate them. There are so many great fics out there right now it's hard to keep up!

I couldn't help thinking about how Max's death would affect Logan if he didn't find out right away that she was alive. Would Logan ever be able to deal with her loss? This fic explores some of the possibilities.

Well, here it is the final chapter.

Chapter 4: The Long Road Back

"You're staying at my place tonight." Charlie was the first to emerge from their overwhelming sorrow. He relaxed his hold on Logan and with one arm still over his shoulder guided Logan back towards the jeep.

"But..."

"No." Charlie gently cut Logan off. "You invited me as a guest into your home when my life fell apart and helped me back on my feet again. Please let me return the favor."

Logan nodded his head in compliance. Now that he had allowed himself to acknowledge the magnitude of his loss he was so drained he no longer had the strength to resist.

Bling drove them back to Charlie's apartment. As they walked in the door Case ran from Mary and bounded into Charlie's arms.

"See you tomorrow." Mary smiled at Case's antics and slid out the door.

"Daddy!" Case gave his dad a spontaneous joyful hug then stepped back and noticed the tears in the three men's eyes. He looked at them in shock for a moment then a deep sorrow overshadowed his young face.

"Mommy died fighting the evil king." His quiet voice revealed an understanding beyond his years.

"I'm so sorry honey." Charlie's voice broke as he picked Case up. They buried their heads in each other shoulders sobbing for the loss of Tinga. Logan and Bling looked on with nothing to offer but tears of their own.

Several hours later they had calmed down enough to prepare a small meal for Case and to tuck the exhausted child into bed. Bling stayed by the bed so he wouldn't be alone if he woke up during the night.

Charlie led Logan to the kitchen table and offered him a drink. Their faces were etched with the sorrow of the day but their eyes were dry. Neither man had any tears left to shed.

"To Max and Tinga." Charlie raised his glass towards Logan.

"To Tinga and Max." Logan raised his glass in return.

"Tinga was only seventeen when I met her. I was ten years older than her. I had never been attracted to younger women, but there was a maturity about her beyond her years."

"I know. Max had it too, an old soul." Logan had a far away look in his eyes.

"An old soul." Charlie's thoughts drifted back to Tinga. "You're so right. We talked forever that first night. I poured out my heart to her. You know she tried to tell me about herself then but I wasn't ready to hear it." Charlie paused for a moment. "How did you find out about Max?"

"The night we met she jumped out my window and landed on her feet several stories below. That was a clue I think." Logan smiled ironically.

"I know what you mean. When Tinga punched a hole in our wall and pulled out a machine gun it kinda change my perspective too." Charlie chuckled. "The truth is she was always different. I knew that she was stronger and faster and smarter than I was. It seemed to me that she was holding back, not showing all of her abilities. She could have done anything she wanted to. I couldn't figure out what she was doing working in a bakery, married to me, living our simple life. But she seemed so happy so I never asked her." Charlie paused, remembering the simple quite moments he had with his wife and the love and sparkle in her eyes as they played with their son. "She was just so happy."

"You gave her a wonderful gift. With you she found what she thought she would never have. She found love with you." Logan looked at Charlie with a deep understanding in his eyes.

"And I found it with her." Charlie fell into a long silence as his gaze fell back onto his drink.

After a long while Charlie looked up at Logan.

"How did you get injured?" His voice revealed the concern of a friend.

"It happened about a year ago, a few days after I met Max. I was shot." Logan paused, thinking about those days and what he had been like back then.

"I think I was the main reason we didn't get together sooner. I was so cocky then. There was something special about her that attracted me right away but I was going to control our relationship. We were going to get together on my terms. It didn't matter that she took my bodyguard out with one hand she was a girl and I could manipulate her no problem. I even prepped a romantic candle light dinner for her thinking I could charm her into working with me and maybe doing a little dating on the side."

"You did that?" Charlie chuckled at the idea of anyone charming Max or Tinga into doing anything.

'Yeah." Logan couldn't help smiling as well. Then he became serious again.

"After the shooting everything changed. I didn't have control of anything anymore, not Max, not my life, not my body. I didn't know who or what I was anymore. I didn't know how people would look at me, whether they would ever see me again or just another cripple. I couldn't even think about a relationship. I just needed a friend, someone who could see past the chair I was in. Max did that for me. She always treated me as a whole person. I lived for the times she would come over and play chess or just raid my fridge." Logan looked at Charlie then looked down at his hands and continued.

"I always loved her but I wouldn't let myself think about it because my insecurities just kept coming back. I struggled with it this whole year but I couldn't seem to beat them. I was always so afraid of what would happen if I showed my love for her. I never considered what would happen if I didn't. I almost missed my chance with her." Logan looked intently at Charlie. "If I hadn't seen you and Tinga together and heard what you said I probably wouldn't have had the courage to reach out to her. In the end I never got the opportunity to tell her I loved her but I think she knew."

"She did. I saw it in her eyes." Charlie reached out to comfort Logan. "She loved you too."

'Thanks.... I know. She wasn't able to say it either but she showed me in so many ways." Logan smiled thinking about what Max had shared with him. "Despite her childhood, she had an enormous capacity for love."

"Tinga was the same way. I didn't know why then but it was obvious that our family, and our love was the most precious thing to her." Charlie smiled back at Logan.

"You know I took Max to my cousin's wedding a few months ago." Logan paused, thinking about everything that happened on that day. "She was so cynical, on the way there, calling weddings a public humiliation. She even said she could fence the wedding ring for ten thousand dollars!" Both Logan and Charlie laughed at that.

"Then when Bennett and Maryanne were saying their vows I caught her crying. She was always such a contradiction." Logan's thoughts drifted back to that moment then he looked up at Charlie with another smile on his face. "She was so beautiful that day. She took my breath away."

Logan and Charlie continued to talk through the night. They shared their memories of Max and Tinga, their beauty, their strength and their love. They talked about their frustrations, their irritating habits and their hilarious moments together. They laughed and they cried as their memories came alive.

Charlie opened his home to Logan and Bling. None of them wanted to lose the connection that they had made. The strength and comfort they received from each other helped them to bear the weight of their loss. Logan and Charlie spoke for hours each night as they shared their grief and found solace in each other.

In the early mornings, while the others were asleep, Logan would climb up to Charlie's roof to watch the sunrise and think about Max. Then a few hours later he would climb down and cook breakfast for everyone. He enjoyed the energy of the mornings as Charlie and Case rushed around getting ready for work and school. Logan even looked forward to the quiet hours of the day when Charlie and Case had left and Bling was off exploring the city. He began to feel at peace in those hours and for the first time in days he pulled out his journal and started writing again.

In the afternoon Logan would go shopping with Bling, exploring the local markets and filling Charlie's cupboards with all the food they could find. Logan insisted on cooking the meals. He would come home from their forays each day ready to dive into the kitchen. Then when Case would arrive home from school he would drop his preparations and roughhouse with him on the living room floor. He would lose himself in those moments of childish games and laughter. Their neighbor Mary rolled her eyes at their antics and Bling couldn't help laughing as well as he watched the life come back into Logan's eyes.

"Charlie." One morning Logan shook Charlie awake and led him up to the roof.

"The world looks different from up here." Charlie mumbled, his voice still rough with sleep.

"Max loved to spend time on the roof of the Space Needle in Seattle. She said it helped her get perspective in life." Logan watched the sun as it began to creep up over the horizon. "I climbed up there a few times after she died. It was her favorite place. When I was up there I felt like she wasn't really dead, that she was with me." Logan was quiet for a moment. "I'd stay up there until the sun came up. Roof tops and sunrises. I think they are the only things that have kept me sane."

"It's really beautiful up here." Charlie gazed all around him then turned towards the horizon. "It makes you feel that you can go on."

"Are we going to make it through this?" Logan turned towards Charlie seeking some hope.

"When Tinga first disappeared I couldn't deal. I told you that." Charlie was still looking at the sunrise. He paused for a moment then turned to face Logan. "But somehow when I thought about her it helped me to keep it together. It's even stronger now, like she really is with me. What Tinga and I have didn't die with her, it's still there, it's eternal and it sustains me. Tinga sustains me."

Charlie placed his hands on Logan's shoulders. He looked intensely at Logan, a reassuring conviction in his eyes. "Max will sustain you too."

As their tears began to flow again Charlie pulled Logan into another hug. They mourned together sharing their grief and sorrow. But this wasn't the desperate embrace of that first day on the docks. They had found strength in each other and in the love that they had for Max and Tinga. This was an embrace of love, of shared joys and sorrows and of hope for the future.

"Thanks man." Logan released his hold and brushed the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. "I really appreciate your help."

"Anything for my family." Charlie smiled at Logan while wiping his own tears away. "Thanks for not letting me feel so alone."

They took a final look at the sun as it rose over the horizon then climbed back downstairs to face their lives.

The next morning Logan cooked a final breakfast for everyone. As they ate there seemed to be a lightness in the air that he hadn't felt for weeks. He watched Charlie and Case eating and talking and teasing each other. He knew they would be okay. They had a strength and resilience that would get them through this. Their love would sustain them. And for the first time Logan felt that he could be okay too. He had stopped counting the minutes since he had lost Max. He couldn't even remember when he stopped. He would always have Max and she would have him. His love would sustain him too.

Logan and Bling grabbed their bags and headed out to the jeep. They enjoyed a final round of hugs and enthusiastic goodbye's from Case then Logan turned to Charlie.

"I'll stay in touch." Logan shook Charlie's hand, his eyes magnifying the meaning of the simple words.

"We will too." Charlie returned the handshake then picked Case up as Logan and Bling tossed their duffel bags into the back of the jeep.

Logan climbed into the driver's seat and gave a final wave to Charlie and Case. As they stood there, waving goodbye, he could see their love for each other and for Tinga and their love for him. They had helped him find the strength he needed to go on.

"Thanks for getting me here." Logan turned to Bling who had climbed into the passenger seat. A deep gratitude was reflected in his voice.

"You'll make it Man." Bling placed a comforting hand on Logan's. His eyes revealed his love and compassion for his friend.

Logan placed the key in the ignition, started the engine and began the long road back to a life without Max.

END

A/N: Let me know, was this realistic? Would Logan ever allow himself to express his feelings about Max's death or would he just bury them? Would he ever be able to find hope again without her? Please R&R.