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Ashes To Ashes

Chapter 4: Realisation

Author: Saiyan Lover UK

DISCLAIMER**

Once again, i have all this legal crap...

I don't own ER, i think all characters belong to Michael Crichton, who is brill may i add...

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Sorry it took so long to write this chapter, i went back to school, need i say more...

Thanks for waiting so long, my loyal loving public(lol)

WARNINGS: Umm...some language...mention of suicide

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ok, if i do this.. *.....* around some words it's a thought

Setting:Three months after Coming to terms, alex is now moving in with Dave, You can now tell she is pregnant

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"Right, I think that's the last one" sighed Alex, placing a large box on the living room floor

Dave walked up behind and massaged her back..

"That better?" he whispered in to her ear

"Oh yeah.." she sighed, sinking into a chair

"Hey, i've gotta go, im on in an hour" said Dave heading for the door

"Okay, say hi to Lizzie for me" replied Alex

"You even attempt to move any of them boxes and i will have to kill you.." smiled Dave, laughing at the same time

"Yes mother" said Alex

"Bye"

*He's nuts, of course im gonna move these boxes*

Alex began moving the boxes into her bedroom, she seemed quite content until she moved a box

labelled: BABY THINGS

Tears began streaming down Alex's face as she caught sight of the tiny babygro

that Elizabeth had bought for her.

She sunk down into a chair, clutching the small gift to her chest. it brought memories

of three months ago flooding back.

Alex cried for twenty minutes solid.

wiping the tears from her eyes, she thought *Im strong, i can do this*

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After moving all the boxes, Alex looked at the ultrasound picture she had from two weeks ago.

She spoke softly to herself..

I'm 16 years old...i'm not ready to be a mom yet..am i??

The worst possible thought crossed her mind...the only way out of this mess was to kill herself

yes, killing herself would end this misery.. and the baby's

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An hour later, Alex sat on the edge of the bath with a marker pen in her hand, and a large kife in the other...

Her eyes stinging from crying so much, could barely see the mirror she was trying to write on...

Shaking..Alex managed to scrawl the words..

IM SORRY...

Holding the knife above her chest, Alex thought, one last time..

Am i doing the right thing? yes, of course i am, This will make everything alright

Shaking with fear..Alex began to stab herself, as many times as she could, before passing out,

in a massive pool of her own blood....

Im OK, everything is fine now... were the words echoing In Alex's heart