RANMA'S TRIP TO MAINFRAME
Written by ElektraChapter One
Dr. Tofu walked around Ranma as the
boy sat in his office, "Ranma... I don't know what to do with you!
Every week you come in here with new injuries!" he sighed.
"Yeah.. well... blame on the Uncute
Girl over there!" Ranma replied, and pointed to the short-haired girl
a few feet away. "She keeps pullin' out that stupid mallet of hers
whenever she gets mad! Which is ALL THE TIME!!"
"Shut up, Ranma!! You bring it on
yourself!" She answered back.
"No, Akane! You're just a violent,
uncute, flat-chested, temperamental tomboy!" Ranma snapped.
"And YOU are an egotistical, idiotic,
muscle headed PERVERT!" Akane replied.
Dr. Tofu just shook his head as the
two teenagers continued their verbal insults. "These two will
kill each other before they get married!!" He thought. He had
always been against arranged marriages anyway. And what was
happening between Ranma and Akane just added more fuel to his point
of view.
"Geez.. no WONDER your dad had to
arrange our marriage. No guy in his RIGHT MIND would marry you out
of CHOICE!!" Ranma shouted.
Akane's eyes went wide, "What?!" Her
fists clenched, and it looked as if she was going to cry, "How...
how.. how DARE you!!" She shouted. Akane closed her eyes, reached
into her private sub-space pocket, and angrily pulled out a huge
mallet. "RANMA.. YOU JERK!!!" She shouted, and began swiping at the
pig-tailed boy.
Ranma looked at Akane, and quickly
jumped out of the way. Then he saw something behind her, "Um..
Akane..." he began.
"Shut up, Ranma!! Stay still so I can
HIT YOU!!"
"But.. AKANE!!" He shouted as a small
portal began to open up behind her.
"I SAID SHUT UP!!" She began
advancing on Ranma again.. but suddenly she was pulled back towards
the large portal. She screamed as it began to suck her in.
"AKANE!! NOOOO!!" Ranma shouted, and
tried to grab her. Instead, he was sucked through the portal with
her.
"What on Earth?!" Dr. Tofu began,
and tried to grab for Ranma. But he ended up going through the
portal as well. In a few seconds, the doctor's office was empty...
and a large glowing tear had taken the place of Ranma, Akane, and
Dr. Tofu.
***
"Now where is the son-in-law?!" A
200 year old Amazon woman asked herself as she looked around Dr.
Tofu's waiting room. "Shampoo said he was here!"
"Hey.. Cologne!!" A voice called out.
The old woman spun around to see a man around her age enter the
waiting room.
"What is it Happosai?" She asked
impatiently.
"Where is that pretty granddaughter
of yours?!" Happosai asked.
"Shampoo's whereabouts are none of
your concern, Happi!" Cologne replied. "Unless... you can tell me
where the Son-in-Law is!"
"You're still trying to marry Shampoo
off to Ranma, eh? Well.. it's not gonna happen, ya old goat!"
Happosai answered.
"And why not?" Cologne asked angrily.
"Because.. it won't!" Happosai
replied. "He's going to marry the lovely Akane Tendo!"
"We'll just see about that!" Cologne
replied.
"Speaking of Akane, she's supposed to
be HERE!" Happosai began. "Let's say we take a look in the good
doctor's office, hmmm?"
"Very well... you go first!" Cologne
insisted. Happosai went through the door... and soon disappeared.
"Happi?" Cologne called out. "Now where did that old pervert
go?" she asked herself, and entered the office. "What on EARTH?!!"
She gasped when she saw the large, glowing portal. Soon she was
sucked through as well.
***
"Oh, Akane... I know you're here
somewhere!! I can feel it!" Ryouga Hibiki thought to himself as
he headed towards Dr. Tofu's clinic. He went through the doors, and
looked around. "Where the heck am I?" he asked himself.
A man was standing in the waiting
room, "Hey.. you're Ranma's friend, Ryouga.. aren't you?!"
"Oh! Mr. Tendo!!" Ryouga began,
"Well.. I wouldn't exactly call Ranma my FRIEND," he muttered.
"How did you find your way here..
aren't you.. um.. always getting lost somewhere??" Soun Tendo asked.
"So.. I have a little problem with
directions! SO WHAT?!" Ryouga snapped.
"Now, now son.. calm down! I actually
came here to pick up Akane and Ranma. But they haven't come out of
the doctor's office yet!"
"Akane's here?!" Ryouga began
hopefully. His face took on a spaced out look, "Akane..
heheheheheheeeee.. it must be love guiding me onward!
Heheheheheeee!!" He began to laugh obsessively as he thought of
Akane. Soun looked at the boy with concern.
"Um.. yes.. well... **ahem** I'm just
going to go into the Doctor's office and see what's keeping them," he
said.
"I'll come with you!!" Ryouga
replied. The two headed towards the office and knocked. No answer.
They decided to open the door... and gasped at what they saw. The
office was a mess. It looked as if a tornado had hit. And there, in
the corner... was a large portal.
Soun went up to it slowly, "No.. can
it be??!" he gasped.
"What?? WHAT??!" Ryouga asked.
"This looks like... Akane's Mallet
Space!" Soun answered. "Could she have been THAT angry at the boy
that she created a tear in her own mallet space?!!" He went right
up to the tear, and stuck his head through. "Akane?? Akane honey?
Daddy's here! Where are you?!" and within moments he was sucked
through.
"Mr. Tendo!!" Ryouga shouted, and
tried to grab for him, but ended up being sucked in himself.
The two felt themselves being pulled
through blackness. It seemed to go on forever. Finally, they landed
somewhere, "Get off me, boy!!" Soun began as he threw Ryouga off
him.
"Sorry father," Ryouga replied, and
quickly got off Soun.
"And since WHEN did I become your
FATHER?!!" Soun snapped.
"Er.. uh.. sorry Mr. Tendo,
hehehe..." Ryouga laughed nervously, and looked around, "Where the
heck am I NOW?!!" he asked out loud.
The two looked around. They had
landed in a dark alley somewhere. They looked at the building beside
them, and noticed a large sign "AL'S DINER". Everything about this
place seemed odd. It wasn't anywhere they had been before.
Suddenly, something came up to them
and a light was shone in their faces. "What are you??" A male voice
began. Through the light, all Soun and Ryouga could make out was the
silhouette of a box, and it seemed to be holding a microphone. There
were a few smaller boxes holding what looked like cameras. "Ladies
and Gentlemen!" the box silhouette began, "We are on the scene of
Al's Diner where two strange creatures have suddenly appeared! Are
they friend, or foe?? Who knows!! But it sure will make a good
story!!!"
For some reason, Ryouga thought the
voice sounded familiar.
The box turned towards them, and for
the first time Soun and Ryouga got a good look at him... and both
screamed.
The box looked at them with
confusion, "Was it something I said??"
"You're... a... a.. a...
TELEVISION!!!" Soun and Ryouga shouted in unison.
"Well.. yes.. my name is Mike... and
you are...??" The TV set asked. Ryouga and Soun's eyes went wide, and
they quickly fell over unconscious.