RANMA'S TRIP TO MAINFRAME
RANMA'S TRIP TO MAINFRAME Written by Elektra Chapter One
Dr. Tofu walked around Ranma as the boy sat in his office, "Ranma... I don't know what to do with you! Every week you come in here with new injuries!" he sighed.

"Yeah.. well... blame on the Uncute Girl over there!" Ranma replied, and pointed to the short-haired girl a few feet away. "She keeps pullin' out that stupid mallet of hers whenever she gets mad! Which is ALL THE TIME!!"

"Shut up, Ranma!! You bring it on yourself!" She answered back.

"No, Akane! You're just a violent, uncute, flat-chested, temperamental tomboy!" Ranma snapped.

"And YOU are an egotistical, idiotic, muscle headed PERVERT!" Akane replied.

Dr. Tofu just shook his head as the two teenagers continued their verbal insults. "These two will kill each other before they get married!!" He thought. He had always been against arranged marriages anyway. And what was happening between Ranma and Akane just added more fuel to his point of view.

"Geez.. no WONDER your dad had to arrange our marriage. No guy in his RIGHT MIND would marry you out of CHOICE!!" Ranma shouted.

Akane's eyes went wide, "What?!" Her fists clenched, and it looked as if she was going to cry, "How... how.. how DARE you!!" She shouted. Akane closed her eyes, reached into her private sub-space pocket, and angrily pulled out a huge mallet. "RANMA.. YOU JERK!!!" She shouted, and began swiping at the pig-tailed boy.

Ranma looked at Akane, and quickly jumped out of the way. Then he saw something behind her, "Um.. Akane..." he began.

"Shut up, Ranma!! Stay still so I can HIT YOU!!"

"But.. AKANE!!" He shouted as a small portal began to open up behind her.

"I SAID SHUT UP!!" She began advancing on Ranma again.. but suddenly she was pulled back towards the large portal. She screamed as it began to suck her in.

"AKANE!! NOOOO!!" Ranma shouted, and tried to grab her. Instead, he was sucked through the portal with her.

"What on Earth?!" Dr. Tofu began, and tried to grab for Ranma. But he ended up going through the portal as well. In a few seconds, the doctor's office was empty... and a large glowing tear had taken the place of Ranma, Akane, and Dr. Tofu.

***

"Now where is the son-in-law?!" A 200 year old Amazon woman asked herself as she looked around Dr. Tofu's waiting room. "Shampoo said he was here!"

"Hey.. Cologne!!" A voice called out. The old woman spun around to see a man around her age enter the waiting room.

"What is it Happosai?" She asked impatiently.

"Where is that pretty granddaughter of yours?!" Happosai asked.

"Shampoo's whereabouts are none of your concern, Happi!" Cologne replied. "Unless... you can tell me where the Son-in-Law is!"

"You're still trying to marry Shampoo off to Ranma, eh? Well.. it's not gonna happen, ya old goat!" Happosai answered.

"And why not?" Cologne asked angrily.

"Because.. it won't!" Happosai replied. "He's going to marry the lovely Akane Tendo!"

"We'll just see about that!" Cologne replied.

"Speaking of Akane, she's supposed to be HERE!" Happosai began. "Let's say we take a look in the good doctor's office, hmmm?"

"Very well... you go first!" Cologne insisted. Happosai went through the door... and soon disappeared. "Happi?" Cologne called out. "Now where did that old pervert go?" she asked herself, and entered the office. "What on EARTH?!!" She gasped when she saw the large, glowing portal. Soon she was sucked through as well.

***

"Oh, Akane... I know you're here somewhere!! I can feel it!" Ryouga Hibiki thought to himself as he headed towards Dr. Tofu's clinic. He went through the doors, and looked around. "Where the heck am I?" he asked himself.

A man was standing in the waiting room, "Hey.. you're Ranma's friend, Ryouga.. aren't you?!"

"Oh! Mr. Tendo!!" Ryouga began, "Well.. I wouldn't exactly call Ranma my FRIEND," he muttered.

"How did you find your way here.. aren't you.. um.. always getting lost somewhere??" Soun Tendo asked.

"So.. I have a little problem with directions! SO WHAT?!" Ryouga snapped.

"Now, now son.. calm down! I actually came here to pick up Akane and Ranma. But they haven't come out of the doctor's office yet!"

"Akane's here?!" Ryouga began hopefully. His face took on a spaced out look, "Akane.. heheheheheheeeee.. it must be love guiding me onward! Heheheheheeee!!" He began to laugh obsessively as he thought of Akane. Soun looked at the boy with concern.

"Um.. yes.. well... **ahem** I'm just going to go into the Doctor's office and see what's keeping them," he said.

"I'll come with you!!" Ryouga replied. The two headed towards the office and knocked. No answer. They decided to open the door... and gasped at what they saw. The office was a mess. It looked as if a tornado had hit. And there, in the corner... was a large portal.

Soun went up to it slowly, "No.. can it be??!" he gasped.

"What?? WHAT??!" Ryouga asked.

"This looks like... Akane's Mallet Space!" Soun answered. "Could she have been THAT angry at the boy that she created a tear in her own mallet space?!!" He went right up to the tear, and stuck his head through. "Akane?? Akane honey? Daddy's here! Where are you?!" and within moments he was sucked through.

"Mr. Tendo!!" Ryouga shouted, and tried to grab for him, but ended up being sucked in himself.

The two felt themselves being pulled through blackness. It seemed to go on forever. Finally, they landed somewhere, "Get off me, boy!!" Soun began as he threw Ryouga off him.

"Sorry father," Ryouga replied, and quickly got off Soun.

"And since WHEN did I become your FATHER?!!" Soun snapped.

"Er.. uh.. sorry Mr. Tendo, hehehe..." Ryouga laughed nervously, and looked around, "Where the heck am I NOW?!!" he asked out loud.

The two looked around. They had landed in a dark alley somewhere. They looked at the building beside them, and noticed a large sign "AL'S DINER". Everything about this place seemed odd. It wasn't anywhere they had been before.

Suddenly, something came up to them and a light was shone in their faces. "What are you??" A male voice began. Through the light, all Soun and Ryouga could make out was the silhouette of a box, and it seemed to be holding a microphone. There were a few smaller boxes holding what looked like cameras. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" the box silhouette began, "We are on the scene of Al's Diner where two strange creatures have suddenly appeared! Are they friend, or foe?? Who knows!! But it sure will make a good story!!!"

For some reason, Ryouga thought the voice sounded familiar.

The box turned towards them, and for the first time Soun and Ryouga got a good look at him... and both screamed.

The box looked at them with confusion, "Was it something I said??"

"You're... a... a.. a... TELEVISION!!!" Soun and Ryouga shouted in unison.

"Well.. yes.. my name is Mike... and you are...??" The TV set asked. Ryouga and Soun's eyes went wide, and they quickly fell over unconscious.

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