RANMA'S TRIP TO MAINFRAME
Written by ElektraChapter Nine
Pyrus and Zera ran onto the bridge, "Daddy!!" Zera started, "There was this old pervert.. and he grabbed me... and it was horrible!!" She shivered.
King Cryos turned around to see his daughter and the fire prince, "What?? old pervert?? What are you talking about?!"
"Sir," Pyrus began, "Apparently someone has gotten aboard the ship through all the defenses. I don't know how. He.. um.. grabbed Zera, but we quickly took care of him."
King Cryos's eyes went wide, "Someone dared to place his hands on my DAUGHTER?!"
"Yes, Daddy! It was awful!!" Zera replied.
"I shall freeze him to death!!" Cryos said with conviction, and quickly stood up.
"Uh.. your highness.. wait a moment.." Graveheart started, "Before we start jumping around looking for him, perhaps we should see if he comes to US."
"What are you talking about, man of rock?!" Cryos asked.
"Well.. he likes girls.. right?" Graveheart looked at Jade.
Jade's eyes went wide, "Oh no you don't!!"
***
"Getting beaten up by some fire boy, then kicked around by an ice princess is very hard on a poor weak old man like me!" Happosai muttered to himself as he continued to walk the ship. Suddenly, something caught his eye. "Oh.. what's this?!"
A beautiful robot woman was lying in a stasis pod. "Ohh.. sweeto!! Nice wires!!" Happosai said as he stared at the sleeping lady.
"Princess Tekla is currently recharging. The Princess is not to be disturbed," a voice said. Happosai looked up to see a strange floating silver sphere.
"And what are YOU going to do about it?" Happosai asked the sphere.
Suddenly, the sphere began to glow. A strange buzzing sound emerged from it.. and the object quickly began chasing after Happosai.
The old pervert ran as fast as he could.
***
"Why do I have to be the bait?!" Jade asked.
"Because.. if he's a pervert, he'll go for you!" Graveheart answered.
"You just wait! I will get you for this, Graveheart!" Jade replied.
Pyrus and Zera hid on one side of the bridge. Graveheart and Cryos hid on the other side, "When he comes here, I shall---" Zera began. Pyrus quickly put a hand over her mouth, inadvertently causing steam to rise from the contact of Fire and Ice.
"Quiet!! It won't do any good if he hears us!" Pyrus whispered. Zera nodded, and he removed his hand. The two royal teenagers held themselves ready.
Jade rolled her eyes and gave Graveheart an evil look. He motioned for her to begin. She sighed.. and began walking back and forth in front of the bridge.
***
Happosai stopped and looked behind him. The sphere was no longer chasing him. "Phew.. the inhabitants of this ship are so unfriendly to a poor old man like me!" He continued his walk down the hall.. and stopped in his tracks when he saw a lovely vision a mere twenty feet from him, "Could this be?!" he asked himself as he looked at the tall, green-haired woman at the end of the corridor. "She's prettier then the OTHER pretty ladies!!!" He quickly ran towards the beautiful woman.
***
"Oh pretty lady!!" Happosai shouted. Jade turned at the sound of the voice, and was ready for the glomping.
Before the old letch could put his hands on her, she grabbed him, "Gotcha'.. you little pervert!"
"HEY!! That's not fair! You tricked me!! You tricked me!" Happosai cried. "You're so mean!! I'm just a sweet little old man who's trying to make his last remaining days worth living!"
"Shut up!!" Jade snapped. She pulled the pervert onto the bridge, "Was it this.. THING.. that grabbed you, child?" Jade asked Zera.
"YES! That was it!" Zera replied, hands on hips.
"YOU!!" Happosai shouted when he saw Pyrus, "You hurt me, you little brat!!"
"Oh.. too bad, huh?!" Pyrus replied smugly.
Graveheart grabbed Happosai and glared at him, "So.. you like going around grabbing women, is that it??? What kind've pervert ARE you?!" he asked.
Happosai looked at him "I'm a very good pervert, thank you very much. Want me to teach you..?"
"NO!!" Graveheart snapped.
"Hmmm.. you remind me of that Matrix fellow I met a little while ago..." Happosai said.
"Matrix.?!? Never mind!! How did you get here?!"
"THERE he is!!" an unfamiliar voice shouted from down the hall.
Everyone turned to see the new visitors. A young human girl, and human boy. "You hentai!!!" the girl shouted, "How much trouble have you gotten yourself into today?!"
"A pervert??" The human boy helped. He looked at the ship's inhabitants, "I'm Ranma Saotome.. uh.. sorry about this..."
"OH! My lovely Akane!! I missed you!!" Happosai shouted. He wiggled out of Graveheart's clutches, and quickly glomped onto Akane's chest.
"Oh oh.." Ranma started when he saw Akane's battle aura flare up. "EVERYONE.. DUCK!!"
Akane opened another sub-space portal and pulled out a mallet. She quickly whacked Happosai angrily through the portal. One he was through, she turned to Ranma, "Well.. are you coming or not?!!?" Akane asked.
"Yeah.. right behind you!!" Ranma replied. Akane nodded, and jumped through the portal. Ranma turned to the ship's inhabitants, "Well.. it was great to meet you guys.. even though we didn't really meet.. but.. I mean.. it's neat to know that there is OTHER life in the Universe you know.. and .. um.. well.. that's all! Bye!!" and he followed Akane. The portal disappeared behind them.
The alien group looked at each other, and simply shrugged... then continued on with their duties.
***
Akane, Ranma, and Happosai found themselves back at the Tendo Dojo, "Thank goodness!! I'm so tired!! I think I'm just going to go to sleep.." Ranma muttered, then trudged upstairs.
Kasumi, Nabiki, and Soun stared at Akane and Happosai, "Well..?" Nabiki started.
"Well what?" Akane asked.
"I don't suppose you took any pictures this time, did you??" Nabiki asked.
"NA-BI-KI!!" Akane shouted.
Nabiki shrugged innocently, "Just thought I'd ask.." she sighed, "Looks like I've gotta find another way to make money," she quickly left.
"Akane honey?" Soun began, "Do you want to tell us the story?"
Akane sighed, "Not now, dad.. maybe tomorrow.." she said, and headed up to her room to read some manga. Of course, after her personal experiences of the past few days, she didn't know if her favourite manga could even hold her attention anymore.