TITLE: Savage Garden Chapter Two: A Thousand Words
AUTHOR: Gaia Less
RATING: PG13
SPOILERS: Pilot, Emily... a few flashbacks from actual scenes. Everything else through the beginning of season seven, I guess.
SUMMARY: none..
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Mulder, Scully, or anyone else you might recognize from the series. They are owned by Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I don't own them. No copyright infringement is intended. I didn;t create em, I'm just playing with them. I'll give them back when I'm done. Promise!! Please don't sue me...
All songs belong to Savage Garden.. yeah.. they rock. Also just borrowing them, blah blah blah....
Archive anywhere, but please get my permission first :) tis as easy as emailing me and saying, Yo, Gaia, I wanna put your fanfic, [title here], on my site, okay? You can even simply cut and paste that sentence into an email document! I will reply with something along the lines of Hey, that's cool. Promote me! Yeah! Sweeeeet. See? Tis VERY easy :) Wowwww. Hehe
notes and such at the end
Chapter Two
A Thousand Words
by GL
==========
I can't believe it. I *still* can't believe it. Mulder and I... we're together now. Like, more together than we used to be. We're... together.
I love him. And he loves me, too.
*That* kind of together.
But we have to hide it. We can't let anyone in the FBI know about it. There have been rumors for years, but now that they're true... we can't let it get out. What would Skinner say?
I'm sure that the rumors have been going around even more often. No doubt, people have noticed that Mulder and I have been locking the door more often--there's only two excuses for that that *I* can think of, and they'd be that we've finally figured out the Truth about whatever it is, or something is going on between us. And, fortunately/unfortunately, it's the second of the options.
Not that there's a problem with that.
Other people have probably noticed that Mulder and I have been taking more time off, and that we walk closer together, and just the little things. I know I've noticed.
Not that there's a problem with that, either.
Really, my life for the past two weeks can't get any better.
~*~
Later that evening
Mulder and I are just returning from dinner. We went out to an Italian place that we go to all the time. Then we go back to my apartment. We do that all the time, too.
I shut the door. You know what, Mulder? I whisper.
he whispers back.
I really love you, I say, smiling up at him.
I do too, he says. He starts to bend down, and I lift myself up on my tiptoes, and we meet halfway in a kiss.
God, I love him...
~*~
Three days later
Ugh. This is the fifth time this has happened. The fifth time in the past *three days.*
Mulder is so sure he's close to the Truth. Again. But everytime he gets a call, we just happen to be at dinner, or somewhere else *together.* And of course, he has to drop everything just to go find the Truth.
Is the Truth more important than me? Than *us*?
I love Mulder more than anything, and he says he does too. But I'm beginning to wonder if that's true.
He hangs up his cell phone and starts to put it in his coat. Sorry, Scully. I gotta go... you coming?
No, Mulder. Sit back down. I have to talk to you.
He looks at me suspiciously, and slowly sits back at the table. he asks innocently.
You know what. I have to talk to you, about this. About us. I take a deep breath, hoping I'm not getting myself into more than I want to. But I ignore myself. I can't handle this. I mean, it's not like we get to be out together that often. But every single time in the past few days--no, not even the past few days. It's all the time, Mulder--every time we're together, you have to leave. You just jump up, drop everything. Is it really more important to you?
He stares at me. His mouth hangs open halfway. He doesn't know what to say. He just stares at me blankly for a moment. I-I-I'm sorry, Scully, he stutters. I guess... I just didn't realize--
You just didn't realize. You didn't realize what, Mulder? That lately, you've been putting whatever Truth this is before us?
Scully, it's my work, he says quietly.
And if that's more important that us, then there can't be an us. I stand up, ready to hurry out of the restaurant, but I stand fast for a moment. I'm sorry, Mulder... I love you too much for that.
*Then* I run out of the restaurant.
~*~
Oh, God. What have I done?
Did I break up with him? Are we over? Done?
We are.
It's over, I whisper, with horrible realization.
I go into my apartment, and close the door behind me. I stand in the place where, just the other day, Mulder and I had stood. He told me he loved me. Then I collapse on my knees, sobbing.
~*~
A Week and a Half Later
A brief knock on the door. Mulder lets himself in.
What are you doing here? I ask softly.
I came to, uh, say goodbye, I guess.
*Please, please, just go away, let me leave, don't try to stop me...* I plead silently.
Scully, are you sure you want to leave? he asks.
Yes, Mulder. I am.
Scully, please... we can work this out.
No, Mulder. We can't. I can't stay here anymore, not like this. I'm sorry.
But why? he asks. How can you just... leave?
I just can. I pick up my bag. I turn away from him, not able to look at him anymore. I can't let him see my tears. Not now. If I cry, I am sure I'll never be able to leave.
I don't *want* to leave. I love him so much... I don't want to leave him behind. But I can't stay, knowing every day that this would be between us. The Argument had hurt us, hurt us more deeply than I could take. I am so in love with him, and I want to be with him so badly... and to know that I can't is just... too horrible.
Scully... I-I love you. Please... don't leave me.
I love you too, I whisper. And that's why I have to go.
But... I don't understand.
Neither do I. We just have to accept it. I finally turn to look at him. I'll miss you. God, I'll miss you so much. But... I want you to move on. *I* want to move on. Start over. Please... Fox... can't you try to understand?
He nods, ever so slowly. But I'll never, ever forget you, he tells me.
I know. I won't either. I take a step forward and kiss his forehead, afraid that if my lips found his that I'd never be able to leave him, never be able to let go, never be able to walk out of the door and out of this life. Maybe... we'll meet again someday.
I walk past him and out of the apartment. Behind me, I hear him say, I'll be looking for you, Dana. Always.
Only once I am in the safety and privacy of the elevator, away from him forever, do I let the tears fall.
~*~
We stumble in a tangled web
decaying friendships almost dead
And hide behind a mask of lies
We twist and turn and we avoid
all hopes of salvage now devoid
I see the truth inside your eyes
So take all this noise into your brain
and send it back again
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call
you up and then...
I'll say the words out loud
You could resurrect a thousand
words to decieve me more and more
A thousand words to give the
reasons why I don't need you
anymore
Time manipulates your heart
preconceptions torn apart
Begin to doubt my state of mind
But I won't go down on what I said
I won't retract convictions read
I my perplex, but I'm not blind
So take all this noise into your brain
and send it back again
I'll bear the cost, shed my skin, call
you up and then...
I'll say the words out loud
You could resurrect a thousand
words to decieve me more and more
A thousand words to give the
reasons why I don't need you
anymore
I'll say the words out loud. I'll say a
thousand words or more.
Manipulation. Fabrication.
Conversation. Annihilation.
I'll say a thousand words or more
Damnation. Frustration.
Elevation. Procreation.
I'll say a thousand words or more
You could resurrect a thousand
words to decieve me more and more
A thousand words to give the
reasons why I don't need
you anymore
~*~
