Slayers! Yoyutchi
by Leaf-Chan (leaf_chan@excite.com)
No, this fic will not feature the angsty rape and death of a cute cartoon
character. Get off that trip already.
"Spirit of inanity, guide me! FATHERLY FLEE!"
Episode II: The Long, Winding Road of Fate and Other Nifty Stuff
[-----]
Lina was pissed again. This wouldn't be anything new, except that now she
had a green-haired, skinny gink next to her in some sort of shining white
armor that managed to grant him superhuman strength and speed. In addition
to that, she had encountered her long-lost sister in a place that she'd
never expected to; a rundown pub in some random city, for crying out loud!
Geez!
Top that all off with the knowledge that some incompetent, self-proclaimed
master of Saikyouism was after her (it wasn't so much the actual threat as
the thought and potential annoyance factor of having a tagalong who was less
competent than Jeffrey-kun), and it made for a headache that wouldn't quit.
And when you had a headache *this* big...
... it was time to blow something up.
".... grnk," Lina muttered, trying to avoid the urge to Dill Brand the
walking, talking, hunk of metal next to her. He'd been spouting off for the
past two hours about his 'escapades' since they'd last met: how his mother
had found a mysterious armor-maker in the town of Kennelia--
"HEY! Isn't that the one you blew up, Lina?" Jeffrey said in a particular
moment of actual recognition.
"Grnk," Lina growled in a rather-surly fashion under her breath. Jeffrey
interpreted that as a 'yes' and continued to talk.
--and how he'd put the armor on and was suddenly super fast and strong and
cool-looking, wow! So now, with his nifty new powers, he called himself the
White Knight of Flaming Justice, roaming the countryside and saving damsels
in distress and killing dragons--
"That's why you tried to rob me, eh?" Lina said acerbically, flicking the
tip of her boot out to kick a rock. The stone bounced over the ground a few
hops before coming to a skidding halt once more.
"Actually, Lina, I was trying to impress you!" Jeffrey said. "I know that
you weren't too impressed by our last adventure together, so I decided to
show you what I was capable of now! Isn't it cool?"
"Grnk," Lina replied again, approaching the kicked rock and kicking it
again. Tumble tumble scratch scratch.
"Anyways, what are we going to do about that Kiseki girl?" he asked, slowing
his pace from Mindless Barge to Tugboat on Steroids. "She looks dangerous."
"Grnk?" Lina stopped and looked at Jeffrey with an expression of incredulity
and disbelief. /*Dangerous*...?/
"You know... Kiseki Rendahl, or something.... the one with the really cool
outfit, master of Saikyouism..."
"Grnk."
"I think we should try and talk her out of it, Lina. I mean, she might have
just been toying with you last time."
"Grnk?"
"She could be really powerful, Lina. I heard about this one guy, with purple
hair, and he's always saying 'that's a secret, that's a secret', and he's
supposed to be really--AGH!"
"GRNK!" Lina said angrily, grabbing Jeffrey by the collar of his shirt
(which was protruding from beneath the layers of armor). "Grnk grnk, *grnk*
grnk grnk, *GRNK*! GRNK?!"
"Yes, Lina, I understand. Sorry." He was promptly released and send
sprawling backwards. "But he's become really famous! Even in my village,
they're talking about... about... uh, heh, about how he's such an idiot!"
"Grnk." Lina nodded in satisfaction and continued to attempt getting the
piece of masking tape off her mouth.
... masking tape? The hell--
She ripped the tape off her mouth. "OWWWWWWWW! Who the hell did that?!"
"Not me," Jeffrey said nervously, looking around. "Weren't you just talking
a few seconds ago?"
"Grnk--GRNK?!" Eyes wide, Lina pulled another piece of masking tape off of
her mouth and flung the sticky thing aside. "The *hell*?!"
"Wait--Lina!" Jeffrey said, looking at the pieces of tape. "There's some
sort of symbol on the tape! It looks like... a man's forearm shaking a fist
at you..."
/Forearm... shaking.../ Lina pondered. /Wait./ She thought back to earlier
(much, *much* earlier, about 3 years ago) in the day when she'd first run
across Kiseki... and her pose after she'd landed a hit on her...
"It's the work of grnk grnk," Lina said, before another piece of forearm-
decorated tape adorned her mouth once more. "Grnk grnk GRNK!!!"
"Looks like a curse, Lina," Jeffrey said, reaching out to pull the tape off,
ignoring Lina's wide-eyed look.
*Riiiiiiiip*.
A puff of ash and a Dill Brand later, Lina dusted off her hands and
continued on her merry way--as another piece of tape materialized over her
mouth. Jeffrey-kun clunked down onto the ground a second later, his white
armor streaked with dirt clods.
"Hey, Lina, wait up!" he said, spitting out some random earth and scrambling
to his feet. "Wait for meeeeee!"
[-----]
Ri Saikul Lable (population 15) was a sparse town; so sparse, in fact, that
the word 'sparse' didn't begin to describe it. For Kiseki, however, it was
the perfect size. Not only did the entire town consist of nothing more than
a bar, a jail, a general store that had an endless supplies of these curious
herbs that restored one's vitality when chewed--only 8 gold apiece, today
was a blowout sale on herbs!--and five houses, the small population would
make it easier for her to interrogate the entire public in order to find out
where her nemesis, the Dora-Mata Lina Inverse, had disappeared to.
Dora-Mata. What a stupid name. Kiseki wasn't quite sure what it meant; it
sounded like a rank in some foreign theater class for blind mimes. At any
rate, she was *positive* she had seen Lina come this way. And even if she
hadn't seen her, the curse that she'd put on her would make itself obvious,
no matter where she was.
Ah, the most notorious curse of Saikyouism... the Curse of the Everlasting
Painful Adhesive. Properly applied, the curse would be a noisome bother to
even the most powerful of magi... because the instant an adhesive was peeled
(and *very* painfully so) off, it would be replaced in the exact same
location, for as many times as necessary. Kiseki had taken the jolly little
liberty of slapping one over that scrubby Dora-Mata's mouth... and...
Kiseki began snickering as she walked. And... that would interfere so badly
with her spell-casting, it wouldn't be funny--actually, NO, it was *very*
funny! Ahahahahahahaha! It was sure a sight, watching one of the most
powerful magi in the world being foiled by a low-level spell from a class
of magic that they had obviously underestimated OWWWW!!!
She peeled herself off the flagpole and rubbed her face. Hibiki-sensei (may
he live forever) had always told her to be wise with one's taunting... one
must taunt forcefully, but one must not force the taunt. Unfortunately, it
had been neither one, unless you count forcing oneself into a large metal
shaft sticking up from the ground a form of opponent mockery.
Now, let's see...
Opting to go with the bar, Kiseki made her way over to the dingy building
and entered, making sure the swinging doors didn't bap her on the back as
she walked through. The bar was considerably empty; maybe it was because it
was only eleven or so in the morning. She'd never drank in her life, and she
didn't intend to start (yet). Looking around and finding nothing of note,
she sat down on a barstool and politely waved a waitress--the only one,
apparently--over.
"Hiya. Whatcha gettin'?" the waitress rattled off. Kiseki noticed that the
waitress' eyes were concealed in voluminous sheaves of red hair that seemed
to curl in insinuous bangs over her forehead...
"Erm, let me see the menu first," Kiseki said, feeling distinctly
uncomfortable under that non-existant gaze.
"Beer, burgers, fries, chips," the waitress said, indicating that anything
else would be considered 'them fancy fixin's'.
"I'll have a burger and fries with some raspberry nectar, then," Kiseki said
distractedly, her mind already forming a scheme as to how she would
manipulate this waitress into telling her everything she knew. Yes, with a
few words of encouragement and perhaps a coin or two, she would--
"'kay," the waitress mumbled, and wandered off to fill the order. Kiseki
looked at her go, wondering exactly how much in tips she got from work; with
an attitude like that, it couldn't be much. Then again, she *did* have these
luscious round--
"Sesame buns," the waitress muttered, coming back in what must have been a
half second. "Out of wheat. Sorry."
"That's okay," Kiseki said amiably, looking at her again, her gaze
invariably trailing down to the waitress' chest area. She'd been doing this
a lot recently; it was kinda disturbing, actually. It wasn't as if she was
trying to compensate for something; heck, her boobies were nice and firm,
nothing wrong there, she wore those Miracle-Push suckers day in and day out,
so everyone was convinced that she had a ton of bounce to the ounce--
The waitress smirked slightly. "Got anythin' else ya want?" she said,
shifting her tray to her other hand without so much as losing a beat.
"No--look. I wasn't staring at your breasts and mentally comparing them to
mine, all right? Just--that's all for now, thanks." Kiseki groaned and swung
around on the stool, turning her full attention onto the basket of french
fries in front of her face.
Okay, time to plan. First off, she needed to find--
"Lina Inverse?" the waitress said, appearing behind the bar without so much
as a skitter. The smirk returned to her face.
"Wh-what?!" Kiseki demanded, nearly knocking over her basket of home-made
fries. "How did you--"
"Hush." The waitress placed one finger over her lips in a 'shhhh' gesture,
and snapped her fingers. Conveniently enough, they were abruptly outside,
behind the restaurant. Kiseki glanced around, then drew both hands back,
charging a gathering of pinkish energy between her hands.
"Who are you?" she demanded. "What's going on?"
Never losing a single beat--almost as if this entire scene had been
choereographed by someone--the waitress favored Kiseki with another hair-
masked gaze. "Luna Inverse. Meetcha."
"Luna... Inverse? Wait." Kiseki cancelled the spell she'd been casting, and
tapped her chin, deep in thought. "Inverse... so... you must be related to
Lina, then?"
Luna paused, as if reassessing her situation, and continued on, almost
missing a beat this time. "Ayup. Make you a deal. You follow her, and I'll
help ya. Cool?"
"What kind of 'help' are you talking about?" Kiseki said warily, turning her
gaze away from Luna's legs and back up to her face. My, she seemed so...
tall.
"Ya want revenge, right? I'll help ya." Luna brushed a few strands of hair
out of her eyes, and for a moment, Kiseki could see a gleaming, azure sheen
to them.
"Why? Aren't you Lina's sister? What have you got against her?"
Luna's smile grew wider, if that was possible, and she spat off two words
that hung in the air. "Ceipheed's orders."
"Ceipheed... *Flare* *Dragon* *Ceipheed*?!" Kiseki exclaimed. "So you're
working for him, and--oh, oh...!!"
"Yep."
This was unbelievable. This was truly an opportunity! She couldn't let this
one slip by her--here was a living, breathing, and ample-bosomed specimen of
an emissary of one of the greatest forces in the entire *universe*, and she
was talking to her! Imagine the odds!
Now, what was she going to say...
"Um... Luna, right?"
"Yep."
"... where *do* you get your hair done?" In all her nervousness, Kiseki had
temporarily forgotten about the idea she had yesterday for spreading the
might of Saikyouism throughout the world. So she came up with the next best
thing.
"Pauline's. Great place. Free breathmints. Want?" She offered Kiseki one,
and the girl eagerly accepted, popping the thing into her mouth immediately.
Luna watched as the girl collapsed onto the ground, the chemicals in the
'breathmint' taking effect almost immediately. It wasn't her usual style of
work--she preferred the 'drag and drop' method--but it wasn't strictly under
Ceipheed's orders this time, so a little leeway was allowable. After all,
Ceipheed was pretty generous in his commands. Luna had the freedom to
accomplish his goals through whatever means she preferred--and this one was
definitely something new.
"Ready. C'mon out," she muttered to thin air.
From behind Luna, two masses of mist gathered and coalesced into two
vaguely-humanoid figures. Both of them sported impressive, rippling muscles,
and were clad in what looked like skin-tight apparel in a multitude of
colors and designs. A large golden letter was emblazoned across the chest of
each, designating one to be "A" and the other "G".
In a burst of flashing strobe lights (it was just a cheap first-level light
spell repeatedly cast and extinguished, but the effect was the same), the
two figures struck a pose of dubious sexual tendencies.
"*I* am Ace!" the one with the letter "A" said.
"And *I* am Gary!" the other one announced proudly.
"Together--we are the Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazo--"
"Skip it," Luna muttered, lifting Kiseki's body up with a bubble of white
light and sending her over in front of Ace and Gary. "Here. Like ya wanted."
Ace took a few seconds to examine Kiseki's prone form in an utterly sterile
fashion before facing Luna once again. "This is excellent," he said, his
voice somewhere between treble and squeak. "You shall be well-rewarded, Luna
Inverse--"
Luna smirked. "Told ya. Don't need it. Just follow up," she said, crossing
her arms.
"Follow up... oh, *yes*," Gary said, *his* voice somewhere between squeak
and treble. "Very well, Luna Inverse. We are honored to reciprocate your
favor to the Mazoku. Consider your request fulfilled."
"Know what they say 'bout countin' chickens 'fore they hatch," Luna said
easily. "Don't."
"We take pride in our work," Ace responded, a tad offended. "And I assure
you, on behalf of the..."
The two struck another pose that surely caused pain to their nether regions.
"Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazoku!" they announced triumphantly.
"... we can complete any task set before us," Gary finished.
"Good." Luna turned around to return to work, before Ace's voice cut in. "A
question, Knight of Ceipheed..."
"Yeah?"
Ace smiled ingratiatingly. "How is it that you, the Knight of Ceipheed and
Emissary of the Pure Race, can deal with us Mazoku? Is it not forbidden to
you?"
"Ah." She grinned. "That's a secret."
"... just like that *damnable* priest!" Gary whined. "I swear, where has
common courtesy and decency gone to these days?!"
Luna looked the two Mazoku over. "Dunno." She shrugged, and tipped them a
salute. "See ya later." With that, she headed back into the restaurant and
began to clear off the uneaten portions of Kiseki's meal, writing up an
I.O.U. for later. Much later--but an unpaid tab was never forgotten. Not in
the eyes of Ceipheed, anyways.
"*Well*," Ace harrumphed, thoroughly miffed. "It appears our benefactor has
left us out in the dust."
"I agree. And such *dust* it is... I think my pants are sticking to my
legs." Gary dusted himself off mournfully.
Ace smiled warmly, and stroked Gary's hair in a nauseatingly-sweet fashion.
"Gary, your pants are skin tight as it is. It is but natural for them to
cling to your thighs."
"Ah, but I forget," Gary said, smiling in return. "But--business first. Let
us depart with our prize, the Master Mage herself, the Knight of Hibiki."
"Yes," Ace agreed, and in another flash of strobe lights, both Mazoku and
Kiseki disappeared in a heart-shaped cloud of dust.
[-----]
Beauty is a wondrous thing, to any beholder that may gaze upon it. To some,
it is a matter of pure relevance; and for everyone, it is a pleasure to look
at and take in. There is nothing quite like the stirring, majestic peace of
a mist-covered range of mountains, or the serene tranquility of a forest
glade. In similar respect can beauty be found in the inhabitants of these
breathtaking landscapes aforementioned.
On a completely unrelated note, there was a guy and a girl sitting in a bar
in the midst of a rowdy town that had all the notes of civilization to it.
The guy was handsome: one of those vain types whose head wasn't so far up
his patoot that he went so far as to claim he was perfect, and yet made more
than enough claims than one was obligated to daily. The girl was pretty, in
a nondescriptive way.
A description of her face would be as follows: blue eyes, with pale blond
hair that fell in straight, sturdy locks slightly below her shoulder, with
one small braid on the left side of her face. Expanding horizons slightly,
she was of a slight but strong build, wearing a simple robe that engulfed
her arms and her entire body, leaving everything to the imagination.
Everything, that is, except for two round highlights cinched together with
a miniature corset in the topmost region of the robe, a sight that many a
male feasted their eyes upon.
The one currently feasting his eyes upon the sight was treating the two
round highlights and their owner to a lavish dinner in a rundown bar. The
meal consisted of high-grade homemade chips, a cheese dip that tasted like
rancid vomit, and rolls of bread hard enough to chip a tooth or two on. The
entree was an ugly, shriveled-up fish slathered in a gooey orange sauce that
was supposedly the house special.
The male spoke--and not about himself, remarkably enough. "Listen, Nevv
baby..." he began, trying to get her to look at him by guiding her face with
his fingers. Nevv, the girl, didn't budge. "I know I'm not, like, your dream
hunk. But can't we, like, y'know, find our happiness in love, or some shit?"
"Let me think about that..." Nevv pondered for a second. "In the past year
that I've made the mistake of going out with you, you've taken me to this
run-down ol' shack twenty-seven times and have tried to touch me six hundred
and thirty one times. Now--"
"Whoa," the man said, impressed (a rather unimpressive feat owing to the
identity of one in question). "You kept count? Cool."
"Well, it was the only thing I could do after you *bored* me to death on the
first 'date'," Nevv replied with the sarcasm laid on heavier than the sauce
on the house special fish. "Watch the *thrills* as the horse decides to kick
the bucket in front of us while on a moonlit, abandoned street! *Hello*! As
if that wasn't the oldest trick in the book--and will you *listen* to me
instead of looking at those all the time!"
The man grinned goofily at her. "I can't help it if your beauty defies all
description," he attempted.
"Well, yes, how's this for a description: they're big, they're round,
they're firm, and their owner is getting the *hell* out of this hole." Nevv
tossed her napkin--a ripped-off sheet of brown, recycled paper from the town
of Ri Saikul Lable--onto the table, and got up.
"Whoa... you said 'hole'..." the man said, and proceeded to find amusement
in looking at his own reflection in the pool of special sauce.
"*Ugh*," Nevv muttered, and flounced on out. The idiot could pay for both of
them, she figured. She really did not need this kind of tripe at this time
in her life. After all, she was an up-and-coming mage, and like other female
magi in her class, she got absolutely no respect. There *was* the occasional
leer and lewd comment when she walked by, but a quick Fireball or Flare
Arrow took care of that.
And now she was left with nothing to do.
/I could always go home and read,/ she thought to herself, watching the
throngs of people file by her on the street. Nevv sighed inwardly. It always
looked as if she was the only one left without something to do--except date
really, really, really moronic men all the time. That wasn't her idea of
fun. The more appealing things in life--studying magic and using it on
hapless victims, curling up by the fireplace and reading a nice book ("How
To Decimate a Band of Theives in Thirty Seconds or Less" was her current
project), or other such stuff was enjoyable, but not on a daily basis. She
needed interaction. She needed conversation--*intelligent* conversation. She
needed...
"Tadaima!"
"Tadaima, ma chere!"
... two guys in colorful spandex posing in front of her. Oh, what *now*.
"What the hell does 'tadaima' mean, anyways? And drop the French while
you're at it, mmmkay?" Nevv said, her voice carrying across the street.
People began to look. This was good; blowing away two fruits in colorful
suits would appease the need for destruction at high speeds. Whaddya know,
she was even a poet!
The two figures didn't budge, and Nevv began getting the distinct impression
that either one or both of them *had* to be in great pain to maintain that
stance of theirs. "'Tadaima', my *dear*, dear Nevv... means 'I am home',"
the one with a giant 'A' across his chest burbled.
"Yes!" the one with the giant 'G' ejaculated, spouting off his words in
rapid bursts. "It means... that we have... *come*... for *you*!"
Nevv rolled her eyes, and clasped her hands together, red rays of light
shooting out from within her palms. "Oh, please," she muttered. "No one's
ever gonna come for me, and especially not you two. *FIREBALL*!" With a
flourish, she opened her hands and sent a fiery swirl of flames at the two.
As the crowd ducked aside--magi were never to be laughed at, but cowered
before and feared in massive amounts--Nevv smiled widely. Another band of
idiots taken care of, and... huh?!
The two spandex-clad figures appeared from the radius of the spell, their
bodies smoking, but otherwise unharmed. "That was not polite, Nevv," Big Ol'
A said.
"Yes. Shall we teach her some manners, Ace?" Big Ol' G said.
"Let's. For we are..."
Cue the strobe lights. "The Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazoku!" they both cried
out. Not in ecstasy, mind you--they just cried out. And not in joy or any
other such emotion, either, except one of triumph. Triumph at what they are,
not at anything they'd acheived together--you get my point.
"FLARE ARROW!" Nevv responded, and sent a lance of fire at them. She didn't
expect it to have much effect, but a distraction was better than sitting
around and posing like two idiots in spandex any day. Ace and Big Ol' G
emerged once more, unscathed, and Nevv began wondering if this counted as
trouble, in a big fashion.
Big Ol' G smiled charmingly. "A mistake, dear Nevv, using black magic on
Mazoku," he said. "Do you not remember the first lesson of magic school?"
"Don't chant spells with your mouth full?" Nevv said, favoring them with a
one-shouldered shrug and a half-assed grin.
"Noooo..." Ace said. "Tell her, Gary."
Gary nodded, and continued, his voice growing sibilant. "You cannot destroy
a being of darkness with darkness, dear girl... and now, you shall
experience our darkness--firsthand!"
"You can get your hands the *hell* off me--AGH!" Her last bit was cut short
as Gary snaked his arm out and *reached* for her in some impossibly-twisted
fashion. Nevv stared, and finally realized that maybe--just *maybe*--they
really were Mazoku. And if they were... why the hell were they after her?
She looked around instead. "*People*! C'mon, people, we've got Mazoku here!
Lend a fellow mage a hand, will ya?!" she pleaded.
There were grunts and sounds of indifference from the crowd as they filed
away. Obviously, their target was *her*, and if it didn't involve mass
destruction--the Mazoku's usual soup du jour--then they could give a rat's
patoot. Nevv made a mental note to herself to Flare Arrow everyone in town
when she returned from wherever it was that they were taking her.
Taking her? Yes, while she'd been pleading to deaf ears, one of them had
snaked out another tendril-limb and had wrapped it around her waist. She
was expecting the tendril to snake up any second now and feel her up--but to
her mass surprise, the Mazoku released her as soon as she was in their
range, almost as if they didn't want to touch her. Huh. She wasn't sure
whether she should be relieved or insulted.
"If you could, Nevv, would you kindly transport yourself? This way, things
would be much more pleasant for everyone involved," Gary said. For a Mazoku,
he really was pretty damn nice--better than her idiot boyfriend, who had
taken all of three seconds to see if her top popped off when the Mazoku had
grabbed her and had left when it didn't.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Nevv said, resigned. It wasn't as if she could
actually hurt them, and they knew it. "Now tell me what the hell's going
on."
The two began escorting her out of the town, Scriim: one behind, and one in
front. "You mean to say, you do not *know*, Nevv?" Ace asked in
astonishment.
Something about his surprise was patently fake, and Nevv didn't like it.
"No," she shot back harshly. "Tell me what the hell's going on. *Now*."
"Patience is a virtue, Nevv... or should I say, 'Knight of Ceipheed, Nevv
Swanson'?" Gary replied, his tone lilting.
The girl's eyes positively flew open. "*Knight* *of* *Ceipheed*--"
"Yes. Is there something wrong?"
Nevv collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter. "You... y-you actually
thought th-that *I*... was a Knight... of Ceipheed?!" she demanded,
guffawing. "Oh, as *if*! You've got the... the wrong person, buddies!"
"Wait..." Ace said, pausing in his tracks. "Perhaps she is right. A Knight
of Ceipheed would have powers to easily destroy the Mazoku... which means
us, Gary."
"Perhaps... perhaps not. I believe her powers are merely restrained for the
time being," Gary said, urging the other two on. "After all, Ceipheed works
in mysterious ways. In this respect he is similar to our lord, the great--"
"Shaburanigdo?" Nevv chimed in. "Yeah, that's right. I know about this
little hierarchy bit. But you've got the wrong person. I can tell you who
the Knight of Ceipheed is--hell, she's *famous*! The rumors are rampant!
Even you Mazoku inbreds would've heard of them!"
"Mazoku... inbreds..." Gary bristled at the comment for a second before
composing himself. "Very well, who is this 'real' Knight of Ceipheed?"
"C'mon, Mazoku... *Luna* *Inverse*. Everyone knows that." Nevv flashed them
a confident, winning smile.
The two dubious males looked at each other, then broke out into their own
bout of laughter, albeit it was gentle and genteel. "How *droll*!" Ace said.
"Why, Luna Inverse... Knight of Ceipheed!"
"Yeah, you don't believe me? Go check it out for yourselves. You've got tons
of powers... why don't you focus in on her magic, or her aura, or
something? And for that matter, why don't you check me? I'm clean, as any
nitwit can tell you."
Gary's voice dropped a few octaves as he spoke in a serious tone. "Luna was
the one who sent us," he said.
"Sent... oh dear," Nevv Swanson said, finally realizing.
[-----]
"Grnk grnk, grnk grnk grnk. Grnk grnk *GRNK* grnk."
"But I need a drink of wa-wa!" He really did look pathetic, standing there
in his pajamas with teddy bears of all colors imprinted over them.
Lina flipped over on her bed and buried her head in her pillow, doing her
best to ignore him. A nice dinner and a sleep had almost managed to cheer
her up again. *Almost*. The fact that she had to rip off a piece of tape
each time she wanted to eat a mouthful of food had been somewhat annoying.
But at least now she was content and full and in a soft bed, without any
random purple-haired Mazoku or blind priests garbed in red trying to ruin
her night.
Instead, she had a green-haired gink asking her for a drink of water like
she was his mom or something. Oh, for...
At least he'd managed to learn how to decipher her 'grnks'. But for now...
"Grnk, grnk. Grnk grnk grnk."
"But Liiiiiinaaaaaaa..." Jeffrey began. He was cut short by the sound of
someone yelling and screaming outside their room. "What was that?!"
"Grrrrrnnnkk..." Lina muttered indifferently, stretching out on her bed and
leaning back. "Grnk."
"But Liiiiiinaaaaaaa..." he said with the exact amount of letters. "We gotta
help them! It's our duty as defenders of peace that--"
"Grnk grnk grnk, grnk grnk."
Jeffrey blinked. "Who's Amelia?"
"Grnk grnk. *Grnk* grnk grnk grnk grnk."
"All right." He nodded, and scurried off to his room. "But you're going to
regret this, Lina!"
"Grnk." She didn't feel like going out and helping out some random
travellers in the middle of the night just from the goodness of her heart.
Then again, she didn't want to reveal the fact that the cursed tape on her
mouth had gotten more difficult to rip off. In fact, it was getting
downright agonizing to remove. And a bunch of worthless passerbys weren't
worth the time and effort to--
*clink*
In a flash, Lina was up and out of her room. After all, there was no other
thing in the world that could emulate the magnificent sound of coins
tinkling against the ground.
[-----]
Comments can be sent to: leaf_chan@excite.com.
by Leaf-Chan (leaf_chan@excite.com)
No, this fic will not feature the angsty rape and death of a cute cartoon
character. Get off that trip already.
"Spirit of inanity, guide me! FATHERLY FLEE!"
Episode II: The Long, Winding Road of Fate and Other Nifty Stuff
[-----]
Lina was pissed again. This wouldn't be anything new, except that now she
had a green-haired, skinny gink next to her in some sort of shining white
armor that managed to grant him superhuman strength and speed. In addition
to that, she had encountered her long-lost sister in a place that she'd
never expected to; a rundown pub in some random city, for crying out loud!
Geez!
Top that all off with the knowledge that some incompetent, self-proclaimed
master of Saikyouism was after her (it wasn't so much the actual threat as
the thought and potential annoyance factor of having a tagalong who was less
competent than Jeffrey-kun), and it made for a headache that wouldn't quit.
And when you had a headache *this* big...
... it was time to blow something up.
".... grnk," Lina muttered, trying to avoid the urge to Dill Brand the
walking, talking, hunk of metal next to her. He'd been spouting off for the
past two hours about his 'escapades' since they'd last met: how his mother
had found a mysterious armor-maker in the town of Kennelia--
"HEY! Isn't that the one you blew up, Lina?" Jeffrey said in a particular
moment of actual recognition.
"Grnk," Lina growled in a rather-surly fashion under her breath. Jeffrey
interpreted that as a 'yes' and continued to talk.
--and how he'd put the armor on and was suddenly super fast and strong and
cool-looking, wow! So now, with his nifty new powers, he called himself the
White Knight of Flaming Justice, roaming the countryside and saving damsels
in distress and killing dragons--
"That's why you tried to rob me, eh?" Lina said acerbically, flicking the
tip of her boot out to kick a rock. The stone bounced over the ground a few
hops before coming to a skidding halt once more.
"Actually, Lina, I was trying to impress you!" Jeffrey said. "I know that
you weren't too impressed by our last adventure together, so I decided to
show you what I was capable of now! Isn't it cool?"
"Grnk," Lina replied again, approaching the kicked rock and kicking it
again. Tumble tumble scratch scratch.
"Anyways, what are we going to do about that Kiseki girl?" he asked, slowing
his pace from Mindless Barge to Tugboat on Steroids. "She looks dangerous."
"Grnk?" Lina stopped and looked at Jeffrey with an expression of incredulity
and disbelief. /*Dangerous*...?/
"You know... Kiseki Rendahl, or something.... the one with the really cool
outfit, master of Saikyouism..."
"Grnk."
"I think we should try and talk her out of it, Lina. I mean, she might have
just been toying with you last time."
"Grnk?"
"She could be really powerful, Lina. I heard about this one guy, with purple
hair, and he's always saying 'that's a secret, that's a secret', and he's
supposed to be really--AGH!"
"GRNK!" Lina said angrily, grabbing Jeffrey by the collar of his shirt
(which was protruding from beneath the layers of armor). "Grnk grnk, *grnk*
grnk grnk, *GRNK*! GRNK?!"
"Yes, Lina, I understand. Sorry." He was promptly released and send
sprawling backwards. "But he's become really famous! Even in my village,
they're talking about... about... uh, heh, about how he's such an idiot!"
"Grnk." Lina nodded in satisfaction and continued to attempt getting the
piece of masking tape off her mouth.
... masking tape? The hell--
She ripped the tape off her mouth. "OWWWWWWWW! Who the hell did that?!"
"Not me," Jeffrey said nervously, looking around. "Weren't you just talking
a few seconds ago?"
"Grnk--GRNK?!" Eyes wide, Lina pulled another piece of masking tape off of
her mouth and flung the sticky thing aside. "The *hell*?!"
"Wait--Lina!" Jeffrey said, looking at the pieces of tape. "There's some
sort of symbol on the tape! It looks like... a man's forearm shaking a fist
at you..."
/Forearm... shaking.../ Lina pondered. /Wait./ She thought back to earlier
(much, *much* earlier, about 3 years ago) in the day when she'd first run
across Kiseki... and her pose after she'd landed a hit on her...
"It's the work of grnk grnk," Lina said, before another piece of forearm-
decorated tape adorned her mouth once more. "Grnk grnk GRNK!!!"
"Looks like a curse, Lina," Jeffrey said, reaching out to pull the tape off,
ignoring Lina's wide-eyed look.
*Riiiiiiiip*.
A puff of ash and a Dill Brand later, Lina dusted off her hands and
continued on her merry way--as another piece of tape materialized over her
mouth. Jeffrey-kun clunked down onto the ground a second later, his white
armor streaked with dirt clods.
"Hey, Lina, wait up!" he said, spitting out some random earth and scrambling
to his feet. "Wait for meeeeee!"
[-----]
Ri Saikul Lable (population 15) was a sparse town; so sparse, in fact, that
the word 'sparse' didn't begin to describe it. For Kiseki, however, it was
the perfect size. Not only did the entire town consist of nothing more than
a bar, a jail, a general store that had an endless supplies of these curious
herbs that restored one's vitality when chewed--only 8 gold apiece, today
was a blowout sale on herbs!--and five houses, the small population would
make it easier for her to interrogate the entire public in order to find out
where her nemesis, the Dora-Mata Lina Inverse, had disappeared to.
Dora-Mata. What a stupid name. Kiseki wasn't quite sure what it meant; it
sounded like a rank in some foreign theater class for blind mimes. At any
rate, she was *positive* she had seen Lina come this way. And even if she
hadn't seen her, the curse that she'd put on her would make itself obvious,
no matter where she was.
Ah, the most notorious curse of Saikyouism... the Curse of the Everlasting
Painful Adhesive. Properly applied, the curse would be a noisome bother to
even the most powerful of magi... because the instant an adhesive was peeled
(and *very* painfully so) off, it would be replaced in the exact same
location, for as many times as necessary. Kiseki had taken the jolly little
liberty of slapping one over that scrubby Dora-Mata's mouth... and...
Kiseki began snickering as she walked. And... that would interfere so badly
with her spell-casting, it wouldn't be funny--actually, NO, it was *very*
funny! Ahahahahahahaha! It was sure a sight, watching one of the most
powerful magi in the world being foiled by a low-level spell from a class
of magic that they had obviously underestimated OWWWW!!!
She peeled herself off the flagpole and rubbed her face. Hibiki-sensei (may
he live forever) had always told her to be wise with one's taunting... one
must taunt forcefully, but one must not force the taunt. Unfortunately, it
had been neither one, unless you count forcing oneself into a large metal
shaft sticking up from the ground a form of opponent mockery.
Now, let's see...
Opting to go with the bar, Kiseki made her way over to the dingy building
and entered, making sure the swinging doors didn't bap her on the back as
she walked through. The bar was considerably empty; maybe it was because it
was only eleven or so in the morning. She'd never drank in her life, and she
didn't intend to start (yet). Looking around and finding nothing of note,
she sat down on a barstool and politely waved a waitress--the only one,
apparently--over.
"Hiya. Whatcha gettin'?" the waitress rattled off. Kiseki noticed that the
waitress' eyes were concealed in voluminous sheaves of red hair that seemed
to curl in insinuous bangs over her forehead...
"Erm, let me see the menu first," Kiseki said, feeling distinctly
uncomfortable under that non-existant gaze.
"Beer, burgers, fries, chips," the waitress said, indicating that anything
else would be considered 'them fancy fixin's'.
"I'll have a burger and fries with some raspberry nectar, then," Kiseki said
distractedly, her mind already forming a scheme as to how she would
manipulate this waitress into telling her everything she knew. Yes, with a
few words of encouragement and perhaps a coin or two, she would--
"'kay," the waitress mumbled, and wandered off to fill the order. Kiseki
looked at her go, wondering exactly how much in tips she got from work; with
an attitude like that, it couldn't be much. Then again, she *did* have these
luscious round--
"Sesame buns," the waitress muttered, coming back in what must have been a
half second. "Out of wheat. Sorry."
"That's okay," Kiseki said amiably, looking at her again, her gaze
invariably trailing down to the waitress' chest area. She'd been doing this
a lot recently; it was kinda disturbing, actually. It wasn't as if she was
trying to compensate for something; heck, her boobies were nice and firm,
nothing wrong there, she wore those Miracle-Push suckers day in and day out,
so everyone was convinced that she had a ton of bounce to the ounce--
The waitress smirked slightly. "Got anythin' else ya want?" she said,
shifting her tray to her other hand without so much as losing a beat.
"No--look. I wasn't staring at your breasts and mentally comparing them to
mine, all right? Just--that's all for now, thanks." Kiseki groaned and swung
around on the stool, turning her full attention onto the basket of french
fries in front of her face.
Okay, time to plan. First off, she needed to find--
"Lina Inverse?" the waitress said, appearing behind the bar without so much
as a skitter. The smirk returned to her face.
"Wh-what?!" Kiseki demanded, nearly knocking over her basket of home-made
fries. "How did you--"
"Hush." The waitress placed one finger over her lips in a 'shhhh' gesture,
and snapped her fingers. Conveniently enough, they were abruptly outside,
behind the restaurant. Kiseki glanced around, then drew both hands back,
charging a gathering of pinkish energy between her hands.
"Who are you?" she demanded. "What's going on?"
Never losing a single beat--almost as if this entire scene had been
choereographed by someone--the waitress favored Kiseki with another hair-
masked gaze. "Luna Inverse. Meetcha."
"Luna... Inverse? Wait." Kiseki cancelled the spell she'd been casting, and
tapped her chin, deep in thought. "Inverse... so... you must be related to
Lina, then?"
Luna paused, as if reassessing her situation, and continued on, almost
missing a beat this time. "Ayup. Make you a deal. You follow her, and I'll
help ya. Cool?"
"What kind of 'help' are you talking about?" Kiseki said warily, turning her
gaze away from Luna's legs and back up to her face. My, she seemed so...
tall.
"Ya want revenge, right? I'll help ya." Luna brushed a few strands of hair
out of her eyes, and for a moment, Kiseki could see a gleaming, azure sheen
to them.
"Why? Aren't you Lina's sister? What have you got against her?"
Luna's smile grew wider, if that was possible, and she spat off two words
that hung in the air. "Ceipheed's orders."
"Ceipheed... *Flare* *Dragon* *Ceipheed*?!" Kiseki exclaimed. "So you're
working for him, and--oh, oh...!!"
"Yep."
This was unbelievable. This was truly an opportunity! She couldn't let this
one slip by her--here was a living, breathing, and ample-bosomed specimen of
an emissary of one of the greatest forces in the entire *universe*, and she
was talking to her! Imagine the odds!
Now, what was she going to say...
"Um... Luna, right?"
"Yep."
"... where *do* you get your hair done?" In all her nervousness, Kiseki had
temporarily forgotten about the idea she had yesterday for spreading the
might of Saikyouism throughout the world. So she came up with the next best
thing.
"Pauline's. Great place. Free breathmints. Want?" She offered Kiseki one,
and the girl eagerly accepted, popping the thing into her mouth immediately.
Luna watched as the girl collapsed onto the ground, the chemicals in the
'breathmint' taking effect almost immediately. It wasn't her usual style of
work--she preferred the 'drag and drop' method--but it wasn't strictly under
Ceipheed's orders this time, so a little leeway was allowable. After all,
Ceipheed was pretty generous in his commands. Luna had the freedom to
accomplish his goals through whatever means she preferred--and this one was
definitely something new.
"Ready. C'mon out," she muttered to thin air.
From behind Luna, two masses of mist gathered and coalesced into two
vaguely-humanoid figures. Both of them sported impressive, rippling muscles,
and were clad in what looked like skin-tight apparel in a multitude of
colors and designs. A large golden letter was emblazoned across the chest of
each, designating one to be "A" and the other "G".
In a burst of flashing strobe lights (it was just a cheap first-level light
spell repeatedly cast and extinguished, but the effect was the same), the
two figures struck a pose of dubious sexual tendencies.
"*I* am Ace!" the one with the letter "A" said.
"And *I* am Gary!" the other one announced proudly.
"Together--we are the Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazo--"
"Skip it," Luna muttered, lifting Kiseki's body up with a bubble of white
light and sending her over in front of Ace and Gary. "Here. Like ya wanted."
Ace took a few seconds to examine Kiseki's prone form in an utterly sterile
fashion before facing Luna once again. "This is excellent," he said, his
voice somewhere between treble and squeak. "You shall be well-rewarded, Luna
Inverse--"
Luna smirked. "Told ya. Don't need it. Just follow up," she said, crossing
her arms.
"Follow up... oh, *yes*," Gary said, *his* voice somewhere between squeak
and treble. "Very well, Luna Inverse. We are honored to reciprocate your
favor to the Mazoku. Consider your request fulfilled."
"Know what they say 'bout countin' chickens 'fore they hatch," Luna said
easily. "Don't."
"We take pride in our work," Ace responded, a tad offended. "And I assure
you, on behalf of the..."
The two struck another pose that surely caused pain to their nether regions.
"Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazoku!" they announced triumphantly.
"... we can complete any task set before us," Gary finished.
"Good." Luna turned around to return to work, before Ace's voice cut in. "A
question, Knight of Ceipheed..."
"Yeah?"
Ace smiled ingratiatingly. "How is it that you, the Knight of Ceipheed and
Emissary of the Pure Race, can deal with us Mazoku? Is it not forbidden to
you?"
"Ah." She grinned. "That's a secret."
"... just like that *damnable* priest!" Gary whined. "I swear, where has
common courtesy and decency gone to these days?!"
Luna looked the two Mazoku over. "Dunno." She shrugged, and tipped them a
salute. "See ya later." With that, she headed back into the restaurant and
began to clear off the uneaten portions of Kiseki's meal, writing up an
I.O.U. for later. Much later--but an unpaid tab was never forgotten. Not in
the eyes of Ceipheed, anyways.
"*Well*," Ace harrumphed, thoroughly miffed. "It appears our benefactor has
left us out in the dust."
"I agree. And such *dust* it is... I think my pants are sticking to my
legs." Gary dusted himself off mournfully.
Ace smiled warmly, and stroked Gary's hair in a nauseatingly-sweet fashion.
"Gary, your pants are skin tight as it is. It is but natural for them to
cling to your thighs."
"Ah, but I forget," Gary said, smiling in return. "But--business first. Let
us depart with our prize, the Master Mage herself, the Knight of Hibiki."
"Yes," Ace agreed, and in another flash of strobe lights, both Mazoku and
Kiseki disappeared in a heart-shaped cloud of dust.
[-----]
Beauty is a wondrous thing, to any beholder that may gaze upon it. To some,
it is a matter of pure relevance; and for everyone, it is a pleasure to look
at and take in. There is nothing quite like the stirring, majestic peace of
a mist-covered range of mountains, or the serene tranquility of a forest
glade. In similar respect can beauty be found in the inhabitants of these
breathtaking landscapes aforementioned.
On a completely unrelated note, there was a guy and a girl sitting in a bar
in the midst of a rowdy town that had all the notes of civilization to it.
The guy was handsome: one of those vain types whose head wasn't so far up
his patoot that he went so far as to claim he was perfect, and yet made more
than enough claims than one was obligated to daily. The girl was pretty, in
a nondescriptive way.
A description of her face would be as follows: blue eyes, with pale blond
hair that fell in straight, sturdy locks slightly below her shoulder, with
one small braid on the left side of her face. Expanding horizons slightly,
she was of a slight but strong build, wearing a simple robe that engulfed
her arms and her entire body, leaving everything to the imagination.
Everything, that is, except for two round highlights cinched together with
a miniature corset in the topmost region of the robe, a sight that many a
male feasted their eyes upon.
The one currently feasting his eyes upon the sight was treating the two
round highlights and their owner to a lavish dinner in a rundown bar. The
meal consisted of high-grade homemade chips, a cheese dip that tasted like
rancid vomit, and rolls of bread hard enough to chip a tooth or two on. The
entree was an ugly, shriveled-up fish slathered in a gooey orange sauce that
was supposedly the house special.
The male spoke--and not about himself, remarkably enough. "Listen, Nevv
baby..." he began, trying to get her to look at him by guiding her face with
his fingers. Nevv, the girl, didn't budge. "I know I'm not, like, your dream
hunk. But can't we, like, y'know, find our happiness in love, or some shit?"
"Let me think about that..." Nevv pondered for a second. "In the past year
that I've made the mistake of going out with you, you've taken me to this
run-down ol' shack twenty-seven times and have tried to touch me six hundred
and thirty one times. Now--"
"Whoa," the man said, impressed (a rather unimpressive feat owing to the
identity of one in question). "You kept count? Cool."
"Well, it was the only thing I could do after you *bored* me to death on the
first 'date'," Nevv replied with the sarcasm laid on heavier than the sauce
on the house special fish. "Watch the *thrills* as the horse decides to kick
the bucket in front of us while on a moonlit, abandoned street! *Hello*! As
if that wasn't the oldest trick in the book--and will you *listen* to me
instead of looking at those all the time!"
The man grinned goofily at her. "I can't help it if your beauty defies all
description," he attempted.
"Well, yes, how's this for a description: they're big, they're round,
they're firm, and their owner is getting the *hell* out of this hole." Nevv
tossed her napkin--a ripped-off sheet of brown, recycled paper from the town
of Ri Saikul Lable--onto the table, and got up.
"Whoa... you said 'hole'..." the man said, and proceeded to find amusement
in looking at his own reflection in the pool of special sauce.
"*Ugh*," Nevv muttered, and flounced on out. The idiot could pay for both of
them, she figured. She really did not need this kind of tripe at this time
in her life. After all, she was an up-and-coming mage, and like other female
magi in her class, she got absolutely no respect. There *was* the occasional
leer and lewd comment when she walked by, but a quick Fireball or Flare
Arrow took care of that.
And now she was left with nothing to do.
/I could always go home and read,/ she thought to herself, watching the
throngs of people file by her on the street. Nevv sighed inwardly. It always
looked as if she was the only one left without something to do--except date
really, really, really moronic men all the time. That wasn't her idea of
fun. The more appealing things in life--studying magic and using it on
hapless victims, curling up by the fireplace and reading a nice book ("How
To Decimate a Band of Theives in Thirty Seconds or Less" was her current
project), or other such stuff was enjoyable, but not on a daily basis. She
needed interaction. She needed conversation--*intelligent* conversation. She
needed...
"Tadaima!"
"Tadaima, ma chere!"
... two guys in colorful spandex posing in front of her. Oh, what *now*.
"What the hell does 'tadaima' mean, anyways? And drop the French while
you're at it, mmmkay?" Nevv said, her voice carrying across the street.
People began to look. This was good; blowing away two fruits in colorful
suits would appease the need for destruction at high speeds. Whaddya know,
she was even a poet!
The two figures didn't budge, and Nevv began getting the distinct impression
that either one or both of them *had* to be in great pain to maintain that
stance of theirs. "'Tadaima', my *dear*, dear Nevv... means 'I am home',"
the one with a giant 'A' across his chest burbled.
"Yes!" the one with the giant 'G' ejaculated, spouting off his words in
rapid bursts. "It means... that we have... *come*... for *you*!"
Nevv rolled her eyes, and clasped her hands together, red rays of light
shooting out from within her palms. "Oh, please," she muttered. "No one's
ever gonna come for me, and especially not you two. *FIREBALL*!" With a
flourish, she opened her hands and sent a fiery swirl of flames at the two.
As the crowd ducked aside--magi were never to be laughed at, but cowered
before and feared in massive amounts--Nevv smiled widely. Another band of
idiots taken care of, and... huh?!
The two spandex-clad figures appeared from the radius of the spell, their
bodies smoking, but otherwise unharmed. "That was not polite, Nevv," Big Ol'
A said.
"Yes. Shall we teach her some manners, Ace?" Big Ol' G said.
"Let's. For we are..."
Cue the strobe lights. "The Disturbingly Ambiguous Mazoku!" they both cried
out. Not in ecstasy, mind you--they just cried out. And not in joy or any
other such emotion, either, except one of triumph. Triumph at what they are,
not at anything they'd acheived together--you get my point.
"FLARE ARROW!" Nevv responded, and sent a lance of fire at them. She didn't
expect it to have much effect, but a distraction was better than sitting
around and posing like two idiots in spandex any day. Ace and Big Ol' G
emerged once more, unscathed, and Nevv began wondering if this counted as
trouble, in a big fashion.
Big Ol' G smiled charmingly. "A mistake, dear Nevv, using black magic on
Mazoku," he said. "Do you not remember the first lesson of magic school?"
"Don't chant spells with your mouth full?" Nevv said, favoring them with a
one-shouldered shrug and a half-assed grin.
"Noooo..." Ace said. "Tell her, Gary."
Gary nodded, and continued, his voice growing sibilant. "You cannot destroy
a being of darkness with darkness, dear girl... and now, you shall
experience our darkness--firsthand!"
"You can get your hands the *hell* off me--AGH!" Her last bit was cut short
as Gary snaked his arm out and *reached* for her in some impossibly-twisted
fashion. Nevv stared, and finally realized that maybe--just *maybe*--they
really were Mazoku. And if they were... why the hell were they after her?
She looked around instead. "*People*! C'mon, people, we've got Mazoku here!
Lend a fellow mage a hand, will ya?!" she pleaded.
There were grunts and sounds of indifference from the crowd as they filed
away. Obviously, their target was *her*, and if it didn't involve mass
destruction--the Mazoku's usual soup du jour--then they could give a rat's
patoot. Nevv made a mental note to herself to Flare Arrow everyone in town
when she returned from wherever it was that they were taking her.
Taking her? Yes, while she'd been pleading to deaf ears, one of them had
snaked out another tendril-limb and had wrapped it around her waist. She
was expecting the tendril to snake up any second now and feel her up--but to
her mass surprise, the Mazoku released her as soon as she was in their
range, almost as if they didn't want to touch her. Huh. She wasn't sure
whether she should be relieved or insulted.
"If you could, Nevv, would you kindly transport yourself? This way, things
would be much more pleasant for everyone involved," Gary said. For a Mazoku,
he really was pretty damn nice--better than her idiot boyfriend, who had
taken all of three seconds to see if her top popped off when the Mazoku had
grabbed her and had left when it didn't.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Nevv said, resigned. It wasn't as if she could
actually hurt them, and they knew it. "Now tell me what the hell's going
on."
The two began escorting her out of the town, Scriim: one behind, and one in
front. "You mean to say, you do not *know*, Nevv?" Ace asked in
astonishment.
Something about his surprise was patently fake, and Nevv didn't like it.
"No," she shot back harshly. "Tell me what the hell's going on. *Now*."
"Patience is a virtue, Nevv... or should I say, 'Knight of Ceipheed, Nevv
Swanson'?" Gary replied, his tone lilting.
The girl's eyes positively flew open. "*Knight* *of* *Ceipheed*--"
"Yes. Is there something wrong?"
Nevv collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter. "You... y-you actually
thought th-that *I*... was a Knight... of Ceipheed?!" she demanded,
guffawing. "Oh, as *if*! You've got the... the wrong person, buddies!"
"Wait..." Ace said, pausing in his tracks. "Perhaps she is right. A Knight
of Ceipheed would have powers to easily destroy the Mazoku... which means
us, Gary."
"Perhaps... perhaps not. I believe her powers are merely restrained for the
time being," Gary said, urging the other two on. "After all, Ceipheed works
in mysterious ways. In this respect he is similar to our lord, the great--"
"Shaburanigdo?" Nevv chimed in. "Yeah, that's right. I know about this
little hierarchy bit. But you've got the wrong person. I can tell you who
the Knight of Ceipheed is--hell, she's *famous*! The rumors are rampant!
Even you Mazoku inbreds would've heard of them!"
"Mazoku... inbreds..." Gary bristled at the comment for a second before
composing himself. "Very well, who is this 'real' Knight of Ceipheed?"
"C'mon, Mazoku... *Luna* *Inverse*. Everyone knows that." Nevv flashed them
a confident, winning smile.
The two dubious males looked at each other, then broke out into their own
bout of laughter, albeit it was gentle and genteel. "How *droll*!" Ace said.
"Why, Luna Inverse... Knight of Ceipheed!"
"Yeah, you don't believe me? Go check it out for yourselves. You've got tons
of powers... why don't you focus in on her magic, or her aura, or
something? And for that matter, why don't you check me? I'm clean, as any
nitwit can tell you."
Gary's voice dropped a few octaves as he spoke in a serious tone. "Luna was
the one who sent us," he said.
"Sent... oh dear," Nevv Swanson said, finally realizing.
[-----]
"Grnk grnk, grnk grnk grnk. Grnk grnk *GRNK* grnk."
"But I need a drink of wa-wa!" He really did look pathetic, standing there
in his pajamas with teddy bears of all colors imprinted over them.
Lina flipped over on her bed and buried her head in her pillow, doing her
best to ignore him. A nice dinner and a sleep had almost managed to cheer
her up again. *Almost*. The fact that she had to rip off a piece of tape
each time she wanted to eat a mouthful of food had been somewhat annoying.
But at least now she was content and full and in a soft bed, without any
random purple-haired Mazoku or blind priests garbed in red trying to ruin
her night.
Instead, she had a green-haired gink asking her for a drink of water like
she was his mom or something. Oh, for...
At least he'd managed to learn how to decipher her 'grnks'. But for now...
"Grnk, grnk. Grnk grnk grnk."
"But Liiiiiinaaaaaaa..." Jeffrey began. He was cut short by the sound of
someone yelling and screaming outside their room. "What was that?!"
"Grrrrrnnnkk..." Lina muttered indifferently, stretching out on her bed and
leaning back. "Grnk."
"But Liiiiiinaaaaaaa..." he said with the exact amount of letters. "We gotta
help them! It's our duty as defenders of peace that--"
"Grnk grnk grnk, grnk grnk."
Jeffrey blinked. "Who's Amelia?"
"Grnk grnk. *Grnk* grnk grnk grnk grnk."
"All right." He nodded, and scurried off to his room. "But you're going to
regret this, Lina!"
"Grnk." She didn't feel like going out and helping out some random
travellers in the middle of the night just from the goodness of her heart.
Then again, she didn't want to reveal the fact that the cursed tape on her
mouth had gotten more difficult to rip off. In fact, it was getting
downright agonizing to remove. And a bunch of worthless passerbys weren't
worth the time and effort to--
*clink*
In a flash, Lina was up and out of her room. After all, there was no other
thing in the world that could emulate the magnificent sound of coins
tinkling against the ground.
[-----]
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