Not mine. Not ever likely to be.
___________________
A Picture's Worth
by NicNacs
___________________
"No, please, no!"
A single gunshot rang out in the all-but-deserted alleyway. Moments later Superman's eyes swept the scene as he came in to land, the famous red cape flying behind him. Taking in the dead body, he quickly scaned for anyone else, but the killer had gone.
***
"Ronald Baker," said Jimmy, as he slapped a picture on Lois' desk. "Internationally famous sculptor, respected member of the community, friend to everyone."
"Except the person that shot him last night." Lois stood up. They had to interview his friends and family, and that was likely to take all day. Jimmy was right. The guy had a lot of friends.
***
"So what have we got?" asked Lois that evening as the three friends were walking home together. Clark looked at her, then back at the darkened street and the cars streaming past. Jimmy answered for him.
"Zip." He shrugged. "Everyone liked the guy, no-one can think of anyone who has a grudge against him, no-one knew what he was working on."
"Hmmm," said Clark, "a secret project, that has possibilities. Maybe..." But they never got to find out what Clark thought, because at that moment a black van pulled out of the traffic, opened it's doors and out poured five or six men with guns.
"Alright, in the van." The ski mask only slightly muffled the voice, and the man gestured with his gun. Lois looked at her husband, with an expression that clearly said, "Do something!!" Clark shook his head. There were too many people to get away with it. He allowed himself to be bundled into the van with Lois and Jimmy, and didn't struggle when the black clothed men tied his hands behind his back.
***
Clark stumbled as he was pushed into a small room - lead lined, of course. He rolled and came up to his knees facing the door. Jimmy was impressed.
"Smooth, CK."
Clark gave a wry grin and watched the door. As soon as it closed, he took his hands from behind his back and pushed himself to his feet. As he untied the others, Jimmy stared at him.
"How'd you do that?" Clark had no doubt as to what he meant.
"I... must have had a weak piece of rope," he invented, sharing a quick grin with Lois. His wife didn't give Jimmy time to think about it.
"OK, so... now what?"
***
"Alright!" Perry's voice rang out across the newsroom. "Let's turn that thing up!"
Somebody turned up the sound on the bank of TVs. They all showed the same picture, even though they were different channels. All the journalists in the room gathered round and watched, first in disbelief, then horror. The TV showed a figure lying in an alleyway next to a glowing green rock. If the boots and cape hadn't convinced them, one look at the figure's face confirmed what the voice-over was saying.
"Villains of Metropolis rejoice, for I have done the impossible. I have killed Superman!" Sinister laughter followed this simple statement, causing more than one person to shudder.
"Great shades of Elvis!" exclaimed Perry. "Where are Lois and Clark when I need them most?"
***
"It would help if we knew *why* we were kidnapped," Lois said in exasperation "then we might be able to figure out *who* took us, and where we are!"
Clark just looked at her. She knew as well as he did that that was the very reason the bad guys weren't telling their captives a thing. Suddenly his face took on that faraway look that Lois knew so well. She went to sit beside him, and lowered her voice.
"What is it?"
Clark glanced at Jimmy, who was studiously trying to look like he wasn't listening. He wasn't succeeding. Clark bent over so that his lips were almost touching Lois' ear.
"It's almost funny," he whispered. "Do you remember that ultrasonic frequency that only Superman can hear? There's this message on it. We've been kidnapped as insurance. If Superman is seen anywhere in the world, we get to die."
"Oh," said Lois, a little louder than she intended. "That should be interesting."
Jimmy looked embarrassed, and Clark suddenly realised what his friend must be thinking. He turned red and tried to concentrate on more serious matters. Like Superman's 'death' at the hands of merciless criminals.
"We have to escape." Lois spoke with determination, loud enough that Jimmy could hear. He blinked a couple of times.
"How, exactly? The door's locked, there are almost certainly guards, we *know* they have guns, and..." Lois looked him in the eye. He shut up.
"Here's what we'll do," she said. "I will pick the lock. Clark will take the first guard, I'll take the second, and Jimmy can have the third, if there is one." She ignored his sarcastic "gee, thanks" and went to study the lock.
***
Perry White was in shock. First Superman, and now this. He had lost everyone he cared about, and he didn't know why. All he could hear was the voice on the phone telling him that his world was ending. Lois, Clark, and even Jimmy, all gone. A great weight on his shoulders caused him to sink into his seat, where he remained in silence. He was too sad even for Elvis.
***
There was a soft click, and the door swung silently open. Clark put his head into the corridor, ignoring Jimmy's startled cry. Thinking about it, he should be more careful. *He* knew that his head wouldn't get blown to bits by a gun, but Jimmy didn't. He didn't want to give his friend ideas.
There was no-one in the corridor, so Clark stepped out and looked around properly. There were about five doors, all closed, which wasn't a problem. Now that they were out of their cell, he could see through the walls easily. His gaze rested on one room, and he blinked. He looked again, to make sure. He was lying on the table. The body was so good it almost fooled him! And he *was* him. There was also a chunk of Kryptonite by the body's head. Funny, he should be able to feel it from here, since there was no lead casing.
"What's the matter, Clark?" asked Jimmy. "You look like you've seen a ghost!" Clark shook his head.
"Just a feeling. Let's get out of here." Lois looked at him. She knew he'd seen or heard something, but she couldn't ask with Jimmy there.
"Shall we see what's behind door number one?" She moved towards the door that Clark had been staring at, and opened it carefully.
Clark tried to look properly shocked when he looked into the room with the others. It was a wasted effort, though. Jimmy was too busy being shocked himself to notice.
"Superman!" he whispered, his eyes wide. "No!" As he moved closer his eyes narrowed, and he reached out and prodded the still figure. "It's wax!"
Lois carefully broke off 'Superman's hand. At the slightly pained expression on Clark's face, she glanced sympathetically at him.
"We need some evidence, sweetheart. You know that."
Jimmy picked up the Kryptonite carefully. The light that glowed within flickered and went out. Jimmy turned the rock over. Examining the base, he grinned at the others.
"Looks like the batteries ran out!"
The trio returned to the corridor and tried another door. This time the found the stairs. Descending to street level, they found themselves in another corridor. In this one, a door was open. Through it, they could see the criminals, sitting round a table, playing poker. They were laughing. To escape, the reporters would have to pass the open door.
Keeping low, Lois, Clark and Jimmy crept as quietly as they could towards the exit. They had almost made it when one of the poker players glanced up.
"Hey!" he shouted, getting the attention of the others. All four stood up and reached for their guns.
"Run!" shouted Clark, needlessly. His friends were already running. As they burst out into the sunlight, bullets whizzed around them. They rounded a corner and found themselves on a deserted industrial estate. Several warehouses were boarded up, and the others had a neglected look about them. Bypassing the first door, Clark pushed open the second, and the three escapees tumbled into a store room. He wasn't sure if the door had been locked - if it had been, it wasn't now.
Lois closed the door, and motioned for Clark to push a heavy-looking crate in front of it. As he was doing that, she looked around the store room. Seeing no other exits, she turned back to her companions. Jimmy had the oddest look on his face, and he was staring at Clark. Lois was puzzled by this, and she asked,
"Jimmy? What's wrong?" Her husband shifted position slightly to look out of the window. She sighed.
"Clark, honey, take off your jacket and look at the back of it." Clark did, although he was confused by her request. His expression changed rapidly from confusion to surprise to resignation. He poked his finger through the small round bullet hole in the back of his jacket and wiggled it around.
"Darn." He paused. "I liked that jacket."
"CK?" asked Jimmy dazedly, "why aren't you dead? I mean, I'm glad you're not, really, I am, but, why?"
"I have a confession to make." Clark started slowly, not knowing exactly how to phrase this. He decided to go for the plain, simple truth. "I'm Superman."
Jimmy's mind raced as he processed this new information. Suddenly all the small inconsistencies he had noticed about his friend over the years took on new meaning. He was shocked, surprised, but most of all, he was hurt. Didn't Clark trust him enough to tell him this? After all, it wasn't just some small character quirk that made no difference to anything. This was *big*. Though, now that he thought about it, that was probably why Clark hadn't told him. Something this major, this life-changing, he probably wouldn't tell *any*one if he could help it. With a hint of humour, he wondered how long it had taken him to tell Lois.
"Jimmy?" Lois' voice was soft, worried. "Are you okay with this?"
Realising that his friends were waiting for a reply, Jimmy cracked a smile.
"Clark, you're Superman?" He waited until Clark had nodded before continuing. "Why are we still here?" Seeing their blank looks, he chuckled. "Wouldn't you think that Superman would be able to handle four men with guns?"
"But if Superman is seen, they'll kill... Oh, yeah, right." Clark looked sheepish. Standing back, he began to spin in place, whirling faster and faster until he was no more than a grey blur. Time seemed to stand still as the blur gained colour and started to slow down. When it stopped, Superman was standing there in all his splendour. Jimmy felt his jaw drop open.
Superman grinned a very Clark-like grin, and left in a small whoosh.
Jimmy forced his mouth closed, and turned to Lois.
"Were they going to kill us?"
***
Perry White glanced up as the elevator dinged. He didn't know why he even bothered, since he knew that there was no chance of Lois, Clark or Jimmy ever being on it. Not now. Not now that they...
Lois, Clark and Jimmy were on the elevator.
They were laughing, as if they hadn't a care in the world.
Swallowing his shock, Perry put on his best gruff editor face and opened the door to his office. Taking a step into the newsroom, he spent a moment just watching the three dead reporters. There was something different about the way they were treating each other, as if their barriers had all been let down. It was about time, he thought.
"Lane! Kent! Olsen! My office! Now!"
Exchanging glances, the three friends changed direction and came towards him. He retreated behind his desk and sat down.
"Shut the door." Clark complied. They exchanged glances again.
"Chief? How come everyone is looking at us so oddly?"
Perry was amazed. They didn't know! And if they didn't know that they were dead, they probably didn't know that Superman was dead. Hope flared in the heart of the old editor. If they were alive, wasn't it possible that Superman was alive too?
"Because you're dead."
They blinked, almost in unison.
"Uh, Chief?" Lois started hesitantly, "we're not dead."
Perry could see the moment Clark realised what was going on. It was almost as obvious as if a light bulb had suddenly appeared over his head.
"They didn't want anyone searching for us! If we were rescued, it would ruin the whole effect. They must have told everyone we were dead. Right, Chief?" Perry nodded, waiting to see if they were going to explain what they were talking about. He decided to prod a little.
"So you were kidnapped? Any idea who by?"
"The four gentlemen who are currently enjoying Inspector Henderson's hospitality," replied a grinning Jimmy. "We think they killed Ronald Baker, too. He's probably the one who made the model of Superman that we found."
Hardly daring to hope, Perry asked how they had escaped. The three of them exchanged indecipherable glances, and Lois answered.
"Superman rescued us."
As Perry sagged into his chair in relief, muttering "Oh, thank Elvis!", a sudden thought occurred to Clark. He added what seemed to Perry to be a spur-of-the-moment decision.
"Superman said to say that he would hold a press conference in about an hour's time, to reassure everyone that he wasn't dead."
"But we have a head start, so if you don't mind, Chief, we'll go and write this up." It wasn't a question, and Lois was already moving towards the door. Perry shrugged and left them to it, happy to have his favourite reporters back in the newsroom. As Lois, Clark and Jimmy gathered round Lois' computer, Perry pushed play, put his feet up and leaned back in his chair. Strains of music filled his office, and he smiled.
"Ah, Elvis."
***
The crowd was restless. They were all reporters, and they were trained to ask questions, but no-one was answering. All they knew for certain was that this emergency press conference had been called, less than an hour ago. The rumours said it had something to do with Superman, but nobody knew details. The only exception to the general hubbub were the two reporters from the Daily Planet. They were just smiling to themselves, as if they had some big secret and couldn't wait to see how everyone reacted.
A hand pointed.
Voices were raised.
One word was repeated, again and again, sometimes in awe, and sometimes in wonder, throughout the crowd.
"Superman!"
As the superhero landed on the podium, a deathly silence fell. Everyone was waiting to see what he would say. His face was grave, his expression solemn. Only those who knew him well could see the twinkle in his eyes.
He cleared his throat.
The reporters leaned in eagerly.
When Superman began to speak, his voice was as sober as his expression. But that twinkle was still in his eyes. The twinkle that said he was not taking this seriously at all.
"Reports of my death," he started, "have been greatly exaggerated."
THE END
___________________
A Picture's Worth
by NicNacs
___________________
"No, please, no!"
A single gunshot rang out in the all-but-deserted alleyway. Moments later Superman's eyes swept the scene as he came in to land, the famous red cape flying behind him. Taking in the dead body, he quickly scaned for anyone else, but the killer had gone.
***
"Ronald Baker," said Jimmy, as he slapped a picture on Lois' desk. "Internationally famous sculptor, respected member of the community, friend to everyone."
"Except the person that shot him last night." Lois stood up. They had to interview his friends and family, and that was likely to take all day. Jimmy was right. The guy had a lot of friends.
***
"So what have we got?" asked Lois that evening as the three friends were walking home together. Clark looked at her, then back at the darkened street and the cars streaming past. Jimmy answered for him.
"Zip." He shrugged. "Everyone liked the guy, no-one can think of anyone who has a grudge against him, no-one knew what he was working on."
"Hmmm," said Clark, "a secret project, that has possibilities. Maybe..." But they never got to find out what Clark thought, because at that moment a black van pulled out of the traffic, opened it's doors and out poured five or six men with guns.
"Alright, in the van." The ski mask only slightly muffled the voice, and the man gestured with his gun. Lois looked at her husband, with an expression that clearly said, "Do something!!" Clark shook his head. There were too many people to get away with it. He allowed himself to be bundled into the van with Lois and Jimmy, and didn't struggle when the black clothed men tied his hands behind his back.
***
Clark stumbled as he was pushed into a small room - lead lined, of course. He rolled and came up to his knees facing the door. Jimmy was impressed.
"Smooth, CK."
Clark gave a wry grin and watched the door. As soon as it closed, he took his hands from behind his back and pushed himself to his feet. As he untied the others, Jimmy stared at him.
"How'd you do that?" Clark had no doubt as to what he meant.
"I... must have had a weak piece of rope," he invented, sharing a quick grin with Lois. His wife didn't give Jimmy time to think about it.
"OK, so... now what?"
***
"Alright!" Perry's voice rang out across the newsroom. "Let's turn that thing up!"
Somebody turned up the sound on the bank of TVs. They all showed the same picture, even though they were different channels. All the journalists in the room gathered round and watched, first in disbelief, then horror. The TV showed a figure lying in an alleyway next to a glowing green rock. If the boots and cape hadn't convinced them, one look at the figure's face confirmed what the voice-over was saying.
"Villains of Metropolis rejoice, for I have done the impossible. I have killed Superman!" Sinister laughter followed this simple statement, causing more than one person to shudder.
"Great shades of Elvis!" exclaimed Perry. "Where are Lois and Clark when I need them most?"
***
"It would help if we knew *why* we were kidnapped," Lois said in exasperation "then we might be able to figure out *who* took us, and where we are!"
Clark just looked at her. She knew as well as he did that that was the very reason the bad guys weren't telling their captives a thing. Suddenly his face took on that faraway look that Lois knew so well. She went to sit beside him, and lowered her voice.
"What is it?"
Clark glanced at Jimmy, who was studiously trying to look like he wasn't listening. He wasn't succeeding. Clark bent over so that his lips were almost touching Lois' ear.
"It's almost funny," he whispered. "Do you remember that ultrasonic frequency that only Superman can hear? There's this message on it. We've been kidnapped as insurance. If Superman is seen anywhere in the world, we get to die."
"Oh," said Lois, a little louder than she intended. "That should be interesting."
Jimmy looked embarrassed, and Clark suddenly realised what his friend must be thinking. He turned red and tried to concentrate on more serious matters. Like Superman's 'death' at the hands of merciless criminals.
"We have to escape." Lois spoke with determination, loud enough that Jimmy could hear. He blinked a couple of times.
"How, exactly? The door's locked, there are almost certainly guards, we *know* they have guns, and..." Lois looked him in the eye. He shut up.
"Here's what we'll do," she said. "I will pick the lock. Clark will take the first guard, I'll take the second, and Jimmy can have the third, if there is one." She ignored his sarcastic "gee, thanks" and went to study the lock.
***
Perry White was in shock. First Superman, and now this. He had lost everyone he cared about, and he didn't know why. All he could hear was the voice on the phone telling him that his world was ending. Lois, Clark, and even Jimmy, all gone. A great weight on his shoulders caused him to sink into his seat, where he remained in silence. He was too sad even for Elvis.
***
There was a soft click, and the door swung silently open. Clark put his head into the corridor, ignoring Jimmy's startled cry. Thinking about it, he should be more careful. *He* knew that his head wouldn't get blown to bits by a gun, but Jimmy didn't. He didn't want to give his friend ideas.
There was no-one in the corridor, so Clark stepped out and looked around properly. There were about five doors, all closed, which wasn't a problem. Now that they were out of their cell, he could see through the walls easily. His gaze rested on one room, and he blinked. He looked again, to make sure. He was lying on the table. The body was so good it almost fooled him! And he *was* him. There was also a chunk of Kryptonite by the body's head. Funny, he should be able to feel it from here, since there was no lead casing.
"What's the matter, Clark?" asked Jimmy. "You look like you've seen a ghost!" Clark shook his head.
"Just a feeling. Let's get out of here." Lois looked at him. She knew he'd seen or heard something, but she couldn't ask with Jimmy there.
"Shall we see what's behind door number one?" She moved towards the door that Clark had been staring at, and opened it carefully.
Clark tried to look properly shocked when he looked into the room with the others. It was a wasted effort, though. Jimmy was too busy being shocked himself to notice.
"Superman!" he whispered, his eyes wide. "No!" As he moved closer his eyes narrowed, and he reached out and prodded the still figure. "It's wax!"
Lois carefully broke off 'Superman's hand. At the slightly pained expression on Clark's face, she glanced sympathetically at him.
"We need some evidence, sweetheart. You know that."
Jimmy picked up the Kryptonite carefully. The light that glowed within flickered and went out. Jimmy turned the rock over. Examining the base, he grinned at the others.
"Looks like the batteries ran out!"
The trio returned to the corridor and tried another door. This time the found the stairs. Descending to street level, they found themselves in another corridor. In this one, a door was open. Through it, they could see the criminals, sitting round a table, playing poker. They were laughing. To escape, the reporters would have to pass the open door.
Keeping low, Lois, Clark and Jimmy crept as quietly as they could towards the exit. They had almost made it when one of the poker players glanced up.
"Hey!" he shouted, getting the attention of the others. All four stood up and reached for their guns.
"Run!" shouted Clark, needlessly. His friends were already running. As they burst out into the sunlight, bullets whizzed around them. They rounded a corner and found themselves on a deserted industrial estate. Several warehouses were boarded up, and the others had a neglected look about them. Bypassing the first door, Clark pushed open the second, and the three escapees tumbled into a store room. He wasn't sure if the door had been locked - if it had been, it wasn't now.
Lois closed the door, and motioned for Clark to push a heavy-looking crate in front of it. As he was doing that, she looked around the store room. Seeing no other exits, she turned back to her companions. Jimmy had the oddest look on his face, and he was staring at Clark. Lois was puzzled by this, and she asked,
"Jimmy? What's wrong?" Her husband shifted position slightly to look out of the window. She sighed.
"Clark, honey, take off your jacket and look at the back of it." Clark did, although he was confused by her request. His expression changed rapidly from confusion to surprise to resignation. He poked his finger through the small round bullet hole in the back of his jacket and wiggled it around.
"Darn." He paused. "I liked that jacket."
"CK?" asked Jimmy dazedly, "why aren't you dead? I mean, I'm glad you're not, really, I am, but, why?"
"I have a confession to make." Clark started slowly, not knowing exactly how to phrase this. He decided to go for the plain, simple truth. "I'm Superman."
Jimmy's mind raced as he processed this new information. Suddenly all the small inconsistencies he had noticed about his friend over the years took on new meaning. He was shocked, surprised, but most of all, he was hurt. Didn't Clark trust him enough to tell him this? After all, it wasn't just some small character quirk that made no difference to anything. This was *big*. Though, now that he thought about it, that was probably why Clark hadn't told him. Something this major, this life-changing, he probably wouldn't tell *any*one if he could help it. With a hint of humour, he wondered how long it had taken him to tell Lois.
"Jimmy?" Lois' voice was soft, worried. "Are you okay with this?"
Realising that his friends were waiting for a reply, Jimmy cracked a smile.
"Clark, you're Superman?" He waited until Clark had nodded before continuing. "Why are we still here?" Seeing their blank looks, he chuckled. "Wouldn't you think that Superman would be able to handle four men with guns?"
"But if Superman is seen, they'll kill... Oh, yeah, right." Clark looked sheepish. Standing back, he began to spin in place, whirling faster and faster until he was no more than a grey blur. Time seemed to stand still as the blur gained colour and started to slow down. When it stopped, Superman was standing there in all his splendour. Jimmy felt his jaw drop open.
Superman grinned a very Clark-like grin, and left in a small whoosh.
Jimmy forced his mouth closed, and turned to Lois.
"Were they going to kill us?"
***
Perry White glanced up as the elevator dinged. He didn't know why he even bothered, since he knew that there was no chance of Lois, Clark or Jimmy ever being on it. Not now. Not now that they...
Lois, Clark and Jimmy were on the elevator.
They were laughing, as if they hadn't a care in the world.
Swallowing his shock, Perry put on his best gruff editor face and opened the door to his office. Taking a step into the newsroom, he spent a moment just watching the three dead reporters. There was something different about the way they were treating each other, as if their barriers had all been let down. It was about time, he thought.
"Lane! Kent! Olsen! My office! Now!"
Exchanging glances, the three friends changed direction and came towards him. He retreated behind his desk and sat down.
"Shut the door." Clark complied. They exchanged glances again.
"Chief? How come everyone is looking at us so oddly?"
Perry was amazed. They didn't know! And if they didn't know that they were dead, they probably didn't know that Superman was dead. Hope flared in the heart of the old editor. If they were alive, wasn't it possible that Superman was alive too?
"Because you're dead."
They blinked, almost in unison.
"Uh, Chief?" Lois started hesitantly, "we're not dead."
Perry could see the moment Clark realised what was going on. It was almost as obvious as if a light bulb had suddenly appeared over his head.
"They didn't want anyone searching for us! If we were rescued, it would ruin the whole effect. They must have told everyone we were dead. Right, Chief?" Perry nodded, waiting to see if they were going to explain what they were talking about. He decided to prod a little.
"So you were kidnapped? Any idea who by?"
"The four gentlemen who are currently enjoying Inspector Henderson's hospitality," replied a grinning Jimmy. "We think they killed Ronald Baker, too. He's probably the one who made the model of Superman that we found."
Hardly daring to hope, Perry asked how they had escaped. The three of them exchanged indecipherable glances, and Lois answered.
"Superman rescued us."
As Perry sagged into his chair in relief, muttering "Oh, thank Elvis!", a sudden thought occurred to Clark. He added what seemed to Perry to be a spur-of-the-moment decision.
"Superman said to say that he would hold a press conference in about an hour's time, to reassure everyone that he wasn't dead."
"But we have a head start, so if you don't mind, Chief, we'll go and write this up." It wasn't a question, and Lois was already moving towards the door. Perry shrugged and left them to it, happy to have his favourite reporters back in the newsroom. As Lois, Clark and Jimmy gathered round Lois' computer, Perry pushed play, put his feet up and leaned back in his chair. Strains of music filled his office, and he smiled.
"Ah, Elvis."
***
The crowd was restless. They were all reporters, and they were trained to ask questions, but no-one was answering. All they knew for certain was that this emergency press conference had been called, less than an hour ago. The rumours said it had something to do with Superman, but nobody knew details. The only exception to the general hubbub were the two reporters from the Daily Planet. They were just smiling to themselves, as if they had some big secret and couldn't wait to see how everyone reacted.
A hand pointed.
Voices were raised.
One word was repeated, again and again, sometimes in awe, and sometimes in wonder, throughout the crowd.
"Superman!"
As the superhero landed on the podium, a deathly silence fell. Everyone was waiting to see what he would say. His face was grave, his expression solemn. Only those who knew him well could see the twinkle in his eyes.
He cleared his throat.
The reporters leaned in eagerly.
When Superman began to speak, his voice was as sober as his expression. But that twinkle was still in his eyes. The twinkle that said he was not taking this seriously at all.
"Reports of my death," he started, "have been greatly exaggerated."
THE END
