There once was a humble, loving family consisting of a pair of boss monster parents, a boss monster son, and one adopted human child.
The father's name was Asgore, and he was a big, burly man who had a reputation for being sensitive and emotional and non-confrontational.
The mother's name was Toriel, and she was a proud, strict woman who unfortunately lacked the foresight and common sense to go with her sharp wit.
The son's name was Asriel, and he was both friendly and easygoing, if only because he had never experienced true loss before.
The human's name was Chara, and they were an outspoken misanthrope and a self-proclaimed intellectual who hated the very idea of what the human existence represented, so much so that they would spend countless hours concocting huge internet rants about the countless greedy, foolish, violent sins of humanity. And hundreds of irony-obsessed, meme-reposing followers on Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit would eagerly smile and nod along because they were just as naive as Chara was.
But the topic of this particular tale does not pertain to the validity of the misanthropic mindset.
It pertains to one particular evening when the Dreemurr family decided to pay a visit to the local movie theater.
It was a simple venture with simple entertainment and rich, buttery popcorn.
But when the family left the movie theater, they were accosted by a mugger with a pistol.
"Your money, or your life." said the mugger.
"Now, now. There is no need for violence. You may have our belongings." said Asgore.
"Oh, goody. It is always a pleasure to speak to the riff-raft of this dingy community." Toriel remarked.
"Please don't hurt us, mister!" said Asriel, causing Chara to snort and look away.
Asgore handed over his modest wallet, and the mugger accepted it.
The mugger and turned to look at Toriel's fine pearl necklace and her lovingly detailed wedding ring.
"Excuse me? I will most certainly not be handing over my belongings! Hands off, villain!" Toriel cried out, only to be surprised when Asgore firmly gripped her arm and shook his head.
"Very well. It is not as if these valuables are actually… valuable. Hmph. As to be expected from my oaf of a husband." Toriel sighed, reluctantly handing over the ring and the necklace.
The mugger looked past Asriel as he wasn't carrying anything of interest… and then saw that a shiny golden heart locket was dangling from Chara's neck.
Chara and the mugger shared a silent, tumultuous look.
Now, Chara had two options available.
They could have surrendered their most valuable possession like their father had demonstrated through precedent, or they could have launched a surprise attack with their knife.
Chara was a vocal misanthrope and an irony-obsessed pseudo-intellectual… but they weren't stupid.
Chara took off their locket and held it out with a shaking fist.
The mugger nodded, took the locket, and then took several steps backward with the pistol held at the ready… until they vanished around the bend.
"Oh, my. That was certainty a very tense situation. Is everyone-" Asgore remarked, only to be interrupted when Toriel roughly slapped his face with her clawed hand.
"I cannot believe this, Asgore! Why did you not fight back and defend your family's honor! You are a pathetic whelp!" Toriel screeched.
"But Tori…"
"Do not 'Tori' me, Dreemurr! Come, my children! We are leaving!" Toriel scoffed before briskly walking away.
Asriel and Chara looked at their father, who was nursing the scratches on his tender muzzle.
Asriel tried to protest but quickly lost his nerve, opting to shyly trail behind his very scary mother.
Chara merely shook their head at their father's soft, teary-eyed face before following their brother and mother.
That night was a very cold, damp, lonely night for Asgore Dreemurr, who always has been, and always will be…
A pushover.
Even when it is the only thing he can be in order to protect his family.
But it's not very surprising.
Sensitive, kind, soft, diplomatic, timid, polite, and emotional men have always been the butt of the joke, and most people have not changed enough to understand why it has always been this way.
Happy Halloween, everyone.
