Title: Never -- Chapter Four
Author: Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha
Style: Series
Author's Notes: e_e Sorry I took so long with the chapters. Well, here is the next one for your enjoyment. I'm thinking of five chapters, but, I mean, you never know.
Disclaimer: x_X I think you know the drill here. CCS and its characters are not mine.

' ' - thoughts
[ ] - change of scene
~ - flashback

------------------------------------------------------


'Leaving...'

A chilly, almost eerie wind forced past the bare trees, lifting the leaves from the ground and twirling them about before placing them down again.

'How could I... '

The sun, rising ever so slowly, falling upwards towards the top of the earth. The golden color of the large star mixed with the faint blue sky so beautifully, so heavenly.

'How could I be such a fool?... '

She sat alone in her room, filled to the top with darkness, brightened just a touch by the dim light from outside her window. A pillow was clutched within her arms, grasping onto it tightly, seeking comfort from it. Her muscled ached from a night of lost sleep. Emotions of anger and sadness enclosed the girl, torturing her wounded heart, stabbing at it mercilessly, continuously.

'To believe that I had probably found someone who actually understood... someone who actually cared.'

Burning tears of frustration spilled from her eyes, sliding down her cheeks.

'What has happened to me?! Is this the way I'm to be like for the rest of my pitiful life?! Depressing over something that could have never been? How did I ever think she'd feel the same about me? And as if that wasn't bad enough... I then pour my heart out to someone else that I just knew wouldn't have some sort of special place in their heart for me... I knew he would be going back soon... Did I somehow convince myself that he'd stay just because of me?'

Her mind returned to their last conversation... the one they had before she ran out of his house, trying to hide the overflow of tears that he would have seen if she stayed any longer.

~~~~~

"Is something big happening tomorrow?"
"Yes, rather."
"What is it?"
"The day I go back to England."
"... W-What?"
"I return to my home tomorrow."
"O-Oh... "
"Tomoyo-san.."
"... Yes?.."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry? ..For what?
"Leaving."
"That's not a reason to be sorry. I.. I hope you have a safe trip back, Hiiragizawa-kun.. W-What time do you leave?"
"11:00 AM."
"I see.... "
"Tomoyo-san?"
"What is it?"
"I'm sorry."
"I know.."

~~~~

'It's my fault. My fault for thinking that just because he helped me... I thought I had... fe-- feelings.. for ... '

Her voice became mute as she stared silently at the wall. She shook her head in disbelief, then burying it angrily into the pillow.

'Fool! Fool to even consider any of that! Fool to think that I had found someone other than Sakura-chan... that my heart had chosen someone else.'

Her sight suddenly landed upon her once so precious video camera sitting in the dark corner neglected, forgotten. Memories of the past, the time when she was never without a smile, encircled her mind. Scenes of her following her beloved everywhere, filming her every movement as stars twinkled and shined brightly in her eyes were pictured while she slowly closed her eyes. Before now, she had never thought she'd put down that video camera for more than five minutes. And now... and now there it was. Left in her room for who knows how long, probably never to be picked up again.

'Strange... how something that had once made me so... so... happy now has no effect whatsoever. How such a special treasure is now nothing more than a piece of junk. When I looked at that camera, I used to see the item that beheld all the wonderful times of my past, but now when I look at it... I think of the horrid machine that captured all the of images of the one I love, bringing me nothing but the thought of her never to love me back the same way. I ... still don't know how I ever released myself from that video camera, though. Perhaps the known fact that I'd never be happy with it again was what made me let go of it... '

She opened her eyes, slightly holding in a sob, pushing it from the center of her throat.

'Love. Such an idiot to think that someone like me would ever have a chance at experiencing that... but am I just to give up completely. I know I'll never be with Sakura-chan... '

A glimpse of the video camera was caught in her eye.

'... The fact that I'd never be happy with it again was what made me let go of it. Release from the thing that doesn't make you happy... release... '


[Hiiragizawa Residence]

Eriol stood over his suitcase as he took a quick glimpse towards the clock and sighed, "The plane leaves in an hour... I should leave now. " He gazed hesitantly at the front door with an uncomfortable expression upon his face. Something was causing his feet to feel as if they weighed a thousand tons. He needed to leave quickly, but he remained motionless.

'... I knew. I knew this would happen. How could I have blinded myself when it was so obvious? Perfect timing, as well. Fifty minutes before my plane takes off. So I'm just going to ignore this... aren't I? I might as well stop kidding myself like this, playing with my emotions in such an unsure manner. I know I'd fall for her. And so quickly, too. Was it my actions that somehow made me attached to her? Or was it my so vulnerable state which searched for another who was experiencing the same feelings? ... Who am I trying so hard to fool? Myself? It's not worth it. I know how I feel... and she doesn't have to. She'll never think of anyone the way she thinks of Sakura-san. Fool myself? Easier said than done...'

Another quick look at the clock. He grabbed his luggage and headed towards the door, "Forty-five minutes... I'd better get going."


-----------------------------------

Geh, short chapter alert! Oh well... I swear the next chapter will behold all the goodies so look out! :B Oh yes, and no need to review this chapter.. that is, unless you want to. Save all the comments for the next and final chapter! We're off to read the ending, the wonderful wonderful ending!...


- Syaoran No Ichiban Aikousha -