The song ended, and everything seemed to slow. Yukari, her chin resting against Allen, thought she was in heaven. Seven minutes in heaven, a game she used to play at parties, came to mind, only..those heavens never even came close to this one. She sighed contentedly. Allen stopped, and parted. He looked down at her, the sight of him took her breath away. He was so beautiful, it hurt. Without words, he took her hand, and drew her towards the doors that led out towards the balcony.

It was a starry night, one of those nights that only seem to appear in romance movies, those kinds of nights were everything is just perfect. They stood, both leaning lightly against the railing, close, but not too close. Neither knew what to say.

Finally, Allen cleared his throat.

"You're dress is beautiful." He said. Then caught himself, and blushed, "umm..er..you are beautiful..I mean, both, you and it...uh.." He looked flustered.

Yukari smiled, pleasantly surprised that she didn't' feel the embarrassment emanating off him and striking her. She felt good. She felt beautiful, her hair was soft on her shoulders, and she felt like she could own the world.

"Thankyou, Allen." She smiled her beautiful smile, and she felt that she had all the confidence in the world. He glanced down, and seemed to shrink. What was wrong with him? He never had trouble knowing what to say, he was never tongue-tied, ever. He was supposed to be the lady's man, dammit! It was Yukari, who spoke next. "The stars are so lovely, sometimes, from Earth, I watch the sky, and I used to wonder if anything was out there." Her dark eyes turned out to the night sky. Allen looked at her,

"Did you find the answer?" He asked softly. She turned to look at him, and he felt his knees turn to jelly. He hated the feeling, of being helpless, of losing control, and yet, he knew he wouldn't give up this moment for the world.

Her eyes were like diamonds, and no matter how gay that phrase was, Allen couldn't find words to describe it any other way.

"I think I did." She answered.

He looked down at her upturned face, her pale lips, her creamy skin. And something came over him.

Gently, he leaned down, and kissed her.

~***~

I am kissing Allen Schezar, oh god, I must be in heaven. He is such an amazing kisser, like god, its so pure, it hurts sometimes. I cannot believe he would kiss me, I mean me, Yukari Uchida, I'm not even beautiful....Maybe I'm in love...what a stupid thought..how can I be in love, I barely know him..

But..that's a lie, isn't it? I mean, I do know him, I do know Allen Schezar. The weird thing is, sometimes, I can tell how he's feeling, or what he's thinking, just by how he looks, or what he says. He's so proud, Allen is. Its like, his honor and his image are everything to him...like he's spent an entire lifetime just building this image of a knight....god, perhaps I'm reading too far into this. But, I do know him, and sometimes, I can even picture how he'd react to certain things. So..am I in love with him? ..that would certainly explain this fluttering in the pit of my stomach, and this pounding in my chest.

~***~

When they parted, Yukari smiled at him. It was a soft smile, and she seemed to glow with an inner warmth.

But Allen trembled. His soul quaked, and he felt nauseous. Not because kissing her had been terrible, no it had been the opposite. It had been wonderful. And that was the part that scared him the most.

"Allen.." Yukari beamed up at him. Allen suddenly took a step back, uncertain, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

"Umm...uhh..I have..uh..I just remembered.." He looked towards the suddenly inviting castle doors. "I'll see ya later." He said quickly, then shot off that balcony as fast as he could.

Yukari stared after him. She glanced down at her hand, and noticed she was trembling. What was up with him?

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Allen hurried away, he felt dizzy. He stumbled blindly through the crowds of dancers. His mind was blank. His heart...his heart was coursing as if filled with new blood.

He vaguely recalled seeing Millerna trying to cut through the crowd to get to him, but a the first sight of her, he turned around and left the room from a side door.

The darkness was a relief from the bright lights of the Great Hall. He fumbled around in the darkness, until he found a soft bench. Sagging down onto it, Allen found he was trembling. Why...why was he reacting like this? It wasn't the first kiss he had ever had..no, he had experience. He had lots of experience. But then...why?

He couldn't even answer his own question. Worse, he didn't want to. All he knew, was that at that moment when he had kissed Yukari Uchida, he had known that things would never be the same again. His life, was changed forever. But the part of him that cried out, was the part that didn't want things to change. He was happy, or so he thought he was. He had a good life, he was respected and renowned, he had close friends like Van Fanel. The one thing that he lacked.....no, he wouldn't think about that.

Suddenly, light flooded the room. Allen blinked, his eyes squinting in the sudden bright. He looked around, and realized he was in the small coat room that adjoined the entrance hall. Van stood in the doorway opposite the one Allen had entered in. Coats were hung around him, on long racks. Van looked at him for a moment, then entered the room and closed the door.

"Hmm...not enjoying the party?" Van asked, as he too sagged down on to the bench. Allen laughed wryly, he suddenly felt better now that he wasn't alone. Everything became clearer, not so vague and confused.

"Just..needed a break." Allen said, then sighed. Van looked at him.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Van nodded, then looked away. Allen sighed again. Van smiled inwardly, until Allen sat up and spoke first.

"Fine, okay, something's wrong."

Van hid his smile, and looked at his friend. He frowned. He had never seen Allen in such a state of disorientation. His golden hair, usually so non-plussed, was all over the place, his cheeks were flushed, and he looked like he was in a high state of anxiety. Van nodded. Allen took a deep breath.

"I......" He trailed off. Van raised an eye.

"Yes?"

"I...." Allen tried again, then broke off again. Van rolled his eyes. He knew what this was. How obvious were the signs? He knew how it felt. Even now, the ache within him throbbed from the memory of it. But Van didn't say anything. Allen needed to say it himself, he needed time to convince himself. Someone had finally broken down his barriers, one by one, the Heavenly Knight was vulnerable. And Allen hated every minute of it. Van smiled,

"What is it, Allen?"

Allen opened his mouth, then closed it, then started again. He looked like a fish out of water, quite comical really. Although Van didn't mention this, for Allen was having a hard enough time as it was. Van was getting slightly impatient,

"Does..have something to do with...perhaps, oh...I don't know..Yukari?" He looked at Allen. Allen turned crimson.

"Ummm..no." He muttered.

Van looked away.

"Sure." He said, quietly, though a smile was painted on his lips. Allen heard the humor, and the tease in the words. He was not in a good mood.

"Okay, fine, it does." He stood suddenly, "I have to go attend to Millerna." He headed out. Van stared.

"Well...where is she?"

Allen turned, annoyance on his face. "Who?"

"You know, Yukari."

Allen turned away again.

"Out on the balcony, at least, that's where she was when I left." He shrugged and headed out. Van could only shake his head, when it came to matters of the heart, Allen Schezar, Heavenly Knight, was not too hot.

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~***~

I think I did something wrong, I think I did. Oh god, did I just screw up with the guy of my dreams? I mean, I think everything went okay...I mean, did I kiss wrong or something? Cuz...when Allen made that hasty exit...again...he had this look of...well, horror on his face, as if he couldn't believe he'd just done that or something. Am I that horrible? I didn't think so......god, this can like totally ruin your self-esteem laughs bitterly This is SOOO FRUSTRATING!! God, if you're up there..please answer my prayers...just..give me the gift to read minds....that would solve a ton-load of problems, seriously. I mean, god, if I could read minds, life would be perfect. I would know why Allen gets so upset everything he's with me, I'd know why Hitomi's so strange...I'd even know what Amano really thinks about me....laughs although...it would sort of ruin the surprise of it.....

~***~

Yukari leaned out over the balcony railing. She was exactly where Allen had left her. After his hasty departure, she first had to get over her total shock at having kissed him, then she had this period of self-doubt and hate where she thought she was awful, and now, she was back to the wonderment and amazement stage where she just could not believe that she'd just kissed Allen Schezar. Sighing, she stared out and glanced up at the night sky. It really was a beautiful night.....

"Yukari?"

She turned quickly, but the hope died with her when she saw that it was only Van.

"Hey, Van." She forced a smile.

Van stood next to her. His expression was sober, and Yukari noticed that, although in a different way, Van was really just as good-looking as Allen was. She wondered who the mysterious princess that he loved was.

"You know, Yukari, love is a strange thing." His voice carried only a hint of pain. Yukari looked over at him, and noticed his face was carefully expressionless when he spoke. She laughed, trying to make it sound light, but it only succeeded in sounding bitter.

"Hmm..strange."

Van nodded, his gaze creeping up to the large moon. Yukari followed his gaze. Her earth hung in the sky, and an overwhelming feeling of homesickness washed over her. It was a feeling like the day after Christmas, where all the glitter has just left, and all your left with is the wrappings. She empty suddenly, and she yearned to be back home, with her mom and dad, with Amano and perhaps, even Hitomi. She sighed.

"Sometimes, I dream about her." Van said. Yukari was somewhat surprised at his abruptness. She turned and faced him.

"You must've really loved her."

Van nodded.

"Yeah....I did."

Yukari smiled. "That's sweet. Why..." She paused unsure, but Van nodded her onward. "Why did she leave you then?"

Van's eyes seemed glued on the huge moon in the sky. "I...I never told her..how I felt. I was...too proud." A deep hurt crossed his face, a look of regret. "And I kept my pride, but what good is pride, when I lost her?"

Yukari stared up at the moon. Pride, what a silly thing. Yet so many risk everything for it. Van tore his gaze from his reverie, and looked at Yukari.

"Allen is proud, Yukari, that's why he can't admit what he feels. He doesn't want to feel human again."

Yukari looked sadly at him. "It is...not fun sometimes, to feel like this."

Van shook his head, a wry smile twisting his lips. "That's for sure." He smiled, then shook his head again. "No, once, long ago, Allen Schezar let people in. But then, he was hurt. And since then, he....barricades himself away from people, blocks them out. He figures that if he doesn't let anyone become close, then anyone close to him cannot be hurt, and in turn, he would not be hurt." Van paused and looked at Yukari, that nagging feeling that something about her was so familiar never left him. "Already, you have become too close for comfort to him." He grinned. Yukari flushed.

"If he doesn't want anyone to care, then...why doesn't he just say so!" She cried, deeply hurt somehow. She was somewhat consoled that Allen cared about her, but also hurt, because he didn't want to care about her. She turned away. She tried to shrug off the awaiting tears and the hurt, but it just wouldn't go away. "Why won't he just....stop hurting people himself then, if he hates being hurt.." She muttered.

Van smiled to himself.

"He doesn't mean it, most of the time."

"Hmpff.." Yukari started to leave. She had enough hurt and humiliation for a lifetime, and she felt that a good sleep, perhaps, would get her back on her feet.

But as she left, Van stopped her, placing a hand on her elbow. His eyes were dark, and depth less. His expression suddenly serious.

"Don't give up on love. If you find that you have found love, then don't let it go. Don't be too proud."

Yukari was silent a long time. Finally, she looked up at him.

"Shouldn't you be taking your own advice as well?"

Van looked stunned. Yukari turned on him,

"I'm sorry if I overstep my boundaries, King Van of Fanelia, but...I cannot help but feel the grief, and the pain that you have felt over the loss of this princess. Even I, who've just met you, can tell that what you had with her was love. If you tell me, not to give up on love, than why have you given up?" Her eyes pierced into him.

Van looked away. He shuddered.

"Its different." He whispered hoarsely.

"No matter the odds, you should not give up." Yukari laughed then, "If only knew how hard it was for me."

Van was silent a while. He glanced up at the moon, at the earth that hung in the sky. He seemed to be searching for something. Yukari broke the silence.

"Tell me about her."

Van drew a breath. He wasn't sure whether he was ready to or not...So long, he had buried his memories, his feelings underneath layers and layers of anger and pain.

"She....she wasn't a princess, actually." He said finally. "She was...extraordinary. I did not even know I loved her, until it was too late."

"Was she...beautiful?" Yukari ventured.

Van smiled, "Oh yes, she was very beautiful. And she had the most amazing, depthless green eyes, I have never seen the likes again." He smiled at the memory.

"What happened, Van? Why did she leave you?"

Van looked away. The pain seemed to strike him unarmed. His voice was strained when he spoke.

"She...she had a choice. And she offered me, the chance to make her decision for her. She said, if I would fight for her, then she would fight for me." His head hung, "I...I was young then, perhaps a little hot-headed, and very proud. So proud, like Allen is now. I...could not give up my pride. I let her go. She left, because I could not tell her." Van seemed lost in his pain and in his thoughts. "I loved her, so much, I couldn't bear it. Hitomi was everything to me...."

Yukari was listening to the beautiful, yet so sad story of the young king, when the name popped up out of nowhere.

Yukari stared at Van, her heart racing.

"Excuse me?" She blinked. Van looked at her, startled at her sudden expression.

"uhh..I was just talking..."

Yukari shook her head, "No..no, I mean..the name. What was her name?"

"Hitomi." Van said.

His voice rang in her ears. Suddenly, everything became so clear and so very understandable. It was like a broken puzzle, Yukari had all the pieces but one, and with this last piece, it had solved the puzzle.

"Oh god.." Yukari breathed, her gaze traveling to the large moon. "Oh god."