FFVIII: Betrayals at Peace

"Headmaster!"
Quistis practically stormed into the room, eyes blazing in fury, and face flushed in mixed indignation and disbelief. She found Cid hunched over on his large oak desk. By the sides were seated the Board of Garden Directors; fifteen instructors who had quite a pull on the Garden. It was they who decide most of the matters directly concerning the Garden. When Quistis barged in unannounced, some of them practically jumped out of their seats.
She knew it was highly rude of her to interrupt a Board meeting. She knew that an instructor who does so runs the risk of suspension coupled with a harsh lecture. Some of the Members of the Board had been her instructor when she was still training as a SeeD cadet, and she knew firsthand how stiff they can be. Right now, however, she hardly paid any attention to them, nor felt the slightest bit of trepidation. She had, after all, resigned her post as a SeeD and an instructor. The thought never entered her mind that civilians were strictly forbidden to enter the Headmaster's office unannounced, much less interrupt a meeting.
From her expression now, however, any figure of authority would think twice putting her in her place.
"Instr-, I mean, Ms. Trepe!" Cid said, greeting her with a smile. He partly stood up. "We have heard that you've returned!"
"What was this I heard about Seifer, Headmaster?" Quistis said, cutting straight to the point. She placed her hands squarely on the table, leaning forward intimidatingly. She did not mean to, of course.
"Look, Ms. Trepe," Cid said, letting out a breath. "The Bo-"
"Execution?!" Quistis practically shouted. "Headmaster, in all the history of Balamb Garden, no one has ever been executed before! No one! And you're starting with Seifer?!"
"Ms. Trepe!" Instructor Myriam Devensor said curtly. She was forty-nine years old, and was widely known as one of Garden's most strict instructors. She had become some sort of a whispered feared figure, with tales of horrendous exams and sharp lectures. Freshmen were often warned about her first among the others. Cadets loathed her as much as they loved Quistis.
Quistis turned to face the older woman. Her eyes were still narrowed slightly. Before, she used to fear Devensor even after she had become an instructor. Now, however, she stood her ground.
"May I remind you that your presence here is not allowed in the first place." The olden woman's voice was sharp and to the point.
"I am only tryi--!" Quistis started.
"You are no longer a part of the Garden faculty and staff," Devensor interrupted. "Or have you forgotten you just tendered your resignation this morning?"
"Please, please!" Cid said, calming the tension. "Everyone of us here is a civilized person. There is no need to exchange acerbic remarks!"
"With all due respect, Headmaster..." Devensor started. She was stopped by a hand raised partly by Cid, however, and a slight glare. The woman curtly pursed back her lips.
Cid let out a breath, and then turned back to Quistis. "Look, Ms. Trepe, I know how you feel about the decision. I, myself, do not want any such things to happen-"
"Then don't!" Quistis interrupted. Her face then turned on a pleading look. "Please, Headmaster! I know Seifer can be such a pain in everyone's side-"
"The understatement of the year," Rift Sindai, a thirty-something year old instructor murmured. Last semester, it was rumoured that he and Seifer had a heated discussion match in his class about Guardian Forces, with Seifer saying that GFs can be physically destroyed by any human being. Eversince then, Seifer had been giving him more problems in class.
Quistis gave him a glare, which silenced the instructor. She turned back to Cid. "But he's not intrinsically bad! He's just...misunderstood, and he just needs someone to reach out to him."
"But this is not about Seifer Almasy being bad, or good, or just being a pain in the head," Cid said. "This time, it's serious. This is not some minor Garden rule violation anymore. We are talking about treason and murder!"
"Seifer wasn't being a traitor!" Quistis defended. "And Squall is alive! How can that be murder when he's lying there in bed unconscious but breathing?! You see, Squall wasn't killed by Seifer! There's no sense invoking Article 89 on him!"
"Almasy did kill Commander Leonheart," Devensor said. "For five minutes and forty-five seconds. Dr. Kadowaki said so. It's there, for the record. Seifer Almsy inflicted serious injury which caused Commander Leonheart to be clinically dead for five minutes and forty-five seconds. It was by pure miracle only that Commander Leonheart was brought back to life. How, is not the question. The fact is, and it still stands, that Almasy injured Leonheart with the intent to kill, and succeeded! He technically committed murder."
"This...this is RIDICULOUS!" Quistis said, burning in outrage. "You're executing a student of mine because of a TECHNICALITY?!"
"Correction, Ms. Trepe," Devensor said calmly. "Former student."
"Headmaster," Quistis said turning back to the Garden founder. "You're not seriously believing this, are you?! I mean...a technicality? Squall is alive! That's all that matters."
"Look, Ms. Trepe," Cid said. "I know how passionate you are with your former students, and that for years now, you've been trying hard to reform Seifer Almasy from his childish and hardheaded ways, but what happened was just too extreme even for Almasy to commit. The Board has decided that examples must be set."
"The Headmaster is right," Leo Ramuo, one of the instructors said. Although he was widely known as a very good and merciful teacher in the Garden, his face showed that they had no choice in this particular matter. "There are rules which serve as the foundation for the Garden's continued existence and organization. If we pardon Almasy now, then we would have to be lenient to other serious transgressions and transgressors as well. And we can't have that. For too long, the Garden has long been a symbol of strict discipline and justice. And Almasy just spits at those ideals."
"Justice?!" Quistis remarked incredously. "Where's the justice in executing someone without a fair trial?! Where's the justice in just passing judgment over someone without even hearing his side of the story?!"
"And what's there to hear?" Erno Oreta, an instructor teaching basic field leadership asked. He was a competent instructor, and was known for being stern and hard during lectures. He was also known for having punched Seifer in the face after the blond-haired gunblader decided that his class was too boring, and stated that fact out loud. "We all know that he did it. The facts are there plain as day. No. We have decided that Seifer Almasy must finally be punished. It was bad enough that we took him in after that war with Ultimecia. He practically gave Balamb Garden a bad reputation! Not to mention sully the reputation of SeeDs..."
"And what's the difference between what Seifer did and what Galbadia Garden did to us then?" Quistis asked back. "Seifer did not betray us to Ultimecia. He, like everyone else at that time, was just a pawn for Ultimecia's plan to compress time. You cannot fault him for that!"
"Still, Almasy has done a grave crime unfitting of one who will become a SeeD," Adam Gates stated with a sense of finality. He was a bespectacled nerdy-looking person who hid a stern and authoritarian mind behind those glasses. It was not a secret, either, that sometime months ago, Seifer practically walked out of his class when he reprimanded him for not following the rules during field assignments. Seifer was suspended for a week after that. "We have rules and we should carry them out."
"I can't believe you all," Quistis said, looking at everyone of the Board instructors. "The fact is that Seifer has long been giving most of you problems. And now that you think he has finally done something which you think would be enough to bring him down, you snatched it up. You're making this as an excuse to finally put Seifer away for good. This had become a personal vendetta. And to think that I used to respect you all as honorable instructors worth emulating."
"That's enough!" Devensor said, standing up, her face red with rage. "Almasy is nothing but a disgrace to Balamb Garden's reputation! He refuses to be under any authority, and he mocks the rules we have set in our respective classes! Most of all, he has betrayed this very institution by aiding Ultimecia which almost brought this world to destruction! I cannot see any reason whatsoever to let him continue to spit on us! This is nothing personal. We are just doing what we have to do by Garden laws! And you, young woman, has long stepped past your bounds! You are no longer an instructor and a member of this Garden, but a civilian. And I, for one, do not want a common citizen to tell me what and what not to decide!"
"Enough!" Cid shouted. The whole room fell silent. Cid, eyes uncharacteristically hard behind those glasses, turned to Quistis. "Trepe, you know how much respect I have of you. Please, don't make me lose that respect. There is nothing we can do about Almasy's case now."
"You're wrong, Headmaster," Quistis said, eyes as determined as his was hard. "Article 92, Section 3. 'A Garden cadet who has incurred the maximum penalty by the transgressions stated in Article 85 can still have the benefit of a Trial By Pleading as stated by Garden law if and only if a respected and duly recognized Garden faculty will plead on his or her behalf. If such a privilege has been invoked, both the Pleadee and the Prosecutor will be asked to state their cases in front of the Garden Headmaster, who will henceforth be the sole and only Judge of the trial.'"
She heard Devensor let out a curt chuckle. "I don't think any senior instructor would want to plead on his behalf right now. Or any instructor, for that matter."
"She is right, Trepe," Cid said. "Where do you suppose we should find someone who will plead for him?"
"You're looking at her," Quistis said after which she took the letter of resignation which was still in Cid's desk and ripped it apart. "You said so yourself this morning, Headmaster. If, at anytime, I would decide to come back, all I have to do is come here and ask you. Instructor Trepe reporting for duty, sir!"
"This is ridicu--!" Devensor stood up, objecting. The disbelief in her face was utter and plain.
"I hereby invoke Article 92, Section 3 of the Garden Code of Laws and plead on behalf of my student, Seifer Almasy, who is currently being charged with Treason and Murder," Quistis said, not bothering to let Devensor continue. "If by the end of the trial my student-defendant will be found guilty of any of the charges, I will hereby submit to the Judge's decision, and will tender my resignation." She would have wanted to say "again", but stopped herself just in time.
"Headmaster!" Devensor sputtered. "Y-you can't possibly be considering her proposal to come back?! It's unpermissible! The Code of Laws clearly states that a faculty member who has formally tendered--!"
"Very well," Cid said, looking at Quistis. "I did say that I will welcome you back gratefully. I grant your request for a Trial by Pleading, Instructor Trepe."
"But Headmast--!"
"And since you're so adamant on this, Instructor Devensor," Cid said. "You will be the Prosecutor."
Myriam Devensor's jaw tightened with abvious anger. But there was nothing she could do. The Headmaster had already decided. "Very well. I accept."
"The trial will start two days from now," Cid said. "I suggest that you both ready your case by then. That's all. Dismissed."
Quistis turned around and was about to follow the other Board members who had already gone out of the door when Cid called her name.
"Instructor Trepe," Cid asked.
Quistis turned around. "Yes, Headmaster?"
"I took a great risk letting you do this," Cid said. "Show me that Seifer Almasy is worth it."
Quistis nodded. She was about to turn around when Cid called her again.
"And Instructor?" Cid paused for a while, and then smiled. "Welcome back."

The Garden holding cell was about the size of a dormitory room, except without the luxuries of one. The only furnishings it had were a medium-sized bed, a small automized sink, one metal-back chair, and a toilet. The silence was so pervading that it was the only thing you could hear.
Not that it mattered to Seifer right now, as he sat on his bed, with his back on the wall. The tattered and bloodied trenchcoat was strewn on the floor beside the opposite wall. His eyes fell on it, seeing the white mix with red. Blood. Squall's blood. And some of it were his, as well. An idle thought strayed into his mind. That those blood of theirs once flowed through their respective hearts. The same hearts which loved Rinoa. He did not regret what he did to Squall. The idiot deserved it for what he did. He shouldn't have made her cry like that. He shouldn't have made her love him like that, only to hurt her. Rinoa was too good for Squall. That was what he thought. Hyne, even after all this time, Seifer realized that he still loved her! The thought made him uncomfortable, although he had to admit that it was a somewhat good feeling to go back to being that person again if even for a while. But he was a man who had decided that living by the dictates of your emotions was as dangerous as walking on a thin line between two high places. And now, in the rhythmic silence of the room, the cynical and arrogant Seifer slowly clawed its way back into his psyche. Rinoa's crying face as she told him that she will never forgive him ever attacked his mind over and over again.
He heard the cell door slide open.
"Seifer..."
The woman's voice was unmistakable. He had heard it everyday of his life. Resting the back of his head to the the white-washed metal wall, he let out a chuckle which he knew annoyed her to no end, although she never seemed to show it. He looked sideways towards the door and saw Quistis standing there, still in her casual clothes. He gave her a look-over up and down, and his face showed that characteristic smirk again.
"Well, well, Instructor," Seifer said, letting out a mocking whistle. "Looking good this afternoon. Is this supposed to be a dating call? I'm sorry, but right now, I'm kinda...grounded."
"Shut up, Seifer," Quistis said. Her gaze fell on the bloody trenchcoat and she swallowed a bit. "Goodness..."
Seifer followed Quistis' gaze and he let out another suppressed laugh. "We just had a...sort of little scuffle with your precious Leonheart."
Trying to maintain her composure, Quistis slowly got the chair and sat it beside the bed. Seifer still eyed her in that completely distrustful and somewhat arrogant manner which she always receive from him. It did not faze her, naturally. All those years of having to patiently bear with him in her quest to at least understand this student had made her somewhat immune by those stares. As well as his smart-ass quips and stinging remarks.
"What are you doing here, Instructor?" Seifer finally asked. The smirk was gone from his face but that annoying and totally bullish behavior still pervaded his tone. "Is this some kind of way for you to try and 'understand' what I did? Huh? Is that it? Are you playing the part of the 'I would like to understand you more, Seifer' instructor again?"
"I'm here to help you," Quistis said.
Seifer let out a hoarse laugh. "Always playing the kind and understanding instructor to her student, aren't you Instructor? Well, guess what? I don't need your help. Or anyone else's, for that matter."
"Damn it, Seifer," Quistis sighed. "Don't be a bastard just for this time, please? I'm trying to save your neck here. Just...for once, cut out with the sarcasm, please?"
Seifer just looked at her.
"The Board decided that for what you did to Squall, you should be executed," Quistis explained. "The charges are treason and murder."
Seifer repositioned himself so that he was sitting on the bed properly, facing Quistis. His elbows were placed on his thighs, his head lowered, looking at the floor. He was silent for a while, and Quistis did not interrupt him. Then, softly at first and then, steadily growing, Seifer laughed. Quistis looked at him, wondering if he had gone more mad than the usual.
Seifer got up, still in that low laugh. He walked to the far side of the small room, and leaned on the wall with his left hand. "They were finally getting into it, huh? They finally got what they wanted. They had me where they want me. I have always known that instructors are nothing more than bastards and bitches just waiting for you to make a serious mistake so they can pounce on you like a jungle cat. Hahahaha..."
"Seifer, please liste-" Quistis started to say, but Seifer interrupted her just by looking at her. Just by that gaze, she stopped in mid-speak.
"I suppose you're just aching for me to croak too, aren't you?" Seifer asked. His face slowly started to form that smirk again. "After all, it was your object of affection I carved up."
Quistis tried her best not to run to him and slap that smirk off his face. For a fraction of a second, she thought about retracting what she said to Cid. She looked at Seifer now, and she wondered why she was taking so much time trying to understand him, being the bastard that he was. And why she was taking all this trouble just to save his arrogant head. Maybe the other instructors were right, after all? Maybe Seifer just won't change, no matter how hard she tried to get into him?
"And I'll bet Rinoa's just dying to hear this too, as well," Seifer continued, still smirking. He let out another laugh, as if amused by the pun he made.
She looked at Seifer, and at his smirk. She looked at that scar which seemed to make his smirk even more irritating. And then, she looked at his eyes. And it was then that she saw something.
It was the same thing she saw in Rinoa's eyes when she confronted her in her classroom that morning. From all the things that had happened as of late, this thing had been so prevalent that she only had to look at it, and recognize it right away. It was the look of hurt and pain from someone who had been betrayed, as well. It was the look of someone who had loved, but was rejected. Seifer was a better actor than she ever was, of course. He had carefully hidden his pain behind that mask of arrogance and self-haughtiness, while she had spent most of the day crying it out of her system. It was a pain that gnawed at a person's heart, and Seifer had buried it deep inside himself like so many emotions he had in the past. And covered it with another shell of devil-may-care attitude.
"Seifer, what happened?" she found herself asking him. For the first time since she knew him, she saw that expression in his eyes. And for the first time, she saw Seifer as something more than a student who always had a problem with authority. The look in his eyes made him human.
Seifer looked at her, as if wondering why the hell she asked that. He crossed his arms, but he still remained silent.
"Seifer, please. Why did you do that to Squall?" Quistis asked again. "What could've made you so angry at him that you're willing to risk everything?"
Still, Seifer did not respond.
"Does this have something to do with Rinoa?" Quistis posed. She remembered that the expression in his eyes changed after he mentioned Rinoa. She was taking a chance with this line of questioning, but she had to know. If this was something to do with Rinoa and Squall, could this have something to do with her, as well? Seifer did mention a moment ago about her 'object of affection', and she knew that it was none other than Squall. How much did Seifer know? Hyne, this was haunting her again and again. She saw Seifer flinch.
"I'm right, then," Quistis said. "So this has something to do with Rinoa. And Squall."
"What are you?! A goddamn psychologist?!" Seifer suddenly snapped at her, angry. "Don't presume you know things, Instructor! Especially things concerning me! What happened to Leonheart and me is none of your fucking business!"
"I'm trying to help you!" Quistis said.
"I don't need your goddamn help!" Seifer shot back. "Save it for those other pussy students of yours! I can manage fine by my own!"
"Damn you!" Quistis suddenly stood up, hurt by what he said. "I'm sticking my head out for you so I could save your sorry life and this is how you react?!"
Seifer looked at her as if she'd gone insane.
"Did they tell you that I resigned being an Instructor this morning?!" Quistis continued. For a minute, it looked as if she was about to cry, but her eyes shouted anger and indignation. "And did they tell you that I was on my way out of this damn place when I heard that you practically killed Squall? That was why I came back! And then Xu told me that the Board's decided they're better off with you dead because of what you did. But what did I do?! I was being stupid and I told Cid I was going to plead for your behalf! I swallowed my pride and took back my resignation so I could help you get out of this damn situation you got yourself into. And now I ask what happened, and you answer me in that fashion?! Damn it, Seifer! Why don't you stop being an idiot and realize that someone here is willing to help you?!"
Seifer, arms crossed and leaning on the wall, looked down, silent. For the briefest of moments, Quistis could've sworn that Seifer looked apologetic. But then, he suddenly wiped away that expression on his face and he looked away. He was not smirking now, or anything. He was just being...human.
"You wouldn't understand," Seifer said. His voice became low. "They wouldn't understand. I could care less if they'll have me executed right now. What I did to Leonheart I did out of something I believed in. He had no right to do that to her. He was being stupid, and I had to show him that she was worth everything. There was no other way for me to make him see that."
"'She'?" Quistis asked. "Rinoa?"
Seifer did not reply, but went on.
"When she cried after their fight in the balcony, I felt her pain. In a way, a small part of me was hoping that maybe, after what I did to Leonheart, she would be grateful. And then, maybe, she would take me back. Of course I realized that it was stupid. But even after all she had done to me in the past, I still felt that I had to defend her honor. So, I challenged Leonheart to a fight. After everything, when I saw her kneeling there cradling Leonheart, I asked for her forgiveness, but her eyes were cold. She was the only one I have asked for forgiveness before. No one else. And her eyes were cold to me. That was the only thing I regretted today. When I asked for her forgiveness."
"Seifer, I'm sorry..." Quistis said. She wanted to walk toward him, but she held herself back.
"So you see, Instructor," Seifer said, finally looking back at her. His face slowly turned back to being cold and hard. "I never regretted doing that to Leonheart. He was being a stupid bastard, and I wanted to put him in his place."
"But you're being charged with murder, Seifer," Quistis said. "By a technicality! Squall was dead for about four minutes but came back to life."
"I always knew he was a stubborn bastard," Seifer said.
Again, Quistis restrained the urge to slap him. Instead, she tried to remain level-headed. She knew that if she let her personal feelings for Squall in, it would only complicate matters. And she wouldn't be any different from Myriam Devensor and those other instructors who want Seifer dead because he was always defying them. "Seifer, we could plead temporary insanity. That would save you from the maximum penalty. Besides, technically, you weren't being yourself at that time. You became too soft-hearted for Rinoa. And that was vastly different from the arrogant and selfish Seifer everyone in Garden knew."
At this, Seifer turned around and growled at her, suddenly angry. "No! I will never do that! How many times must I tell you that I meant what I did to Leonheart?! If you think I'm going to just turn over and play insane just to save my hide when in fact, I am full well aware of what happened, think again, Instructor! That would be like saying I was sorry for what I did! And I am not!"
"Damn it Seifer! That's the only way I can help you!" Quistis protested. "Stop being so blockheaded that you can't think straight!"
"I did not ask for your help!" Seifer shot back. "I know what you're thinking, Instructor. You think that it's your fault I became like this. I know you think that you could've helped me, by trying to understand me. What did you expect? That maybe I'll trust you and pour out my problems to you? Is that it?"
Quistis tried to look away. "Seifer, I know you don't trust me. But...I really want to help you."
Seifer turned away, and looked outside the cell, through the nothingness of the corridor of the Garden Cell Area. "If it makes you feel any better, Instructor, I don't trust anyone. So don't take it personally. I don't need anyone else's help. You think that you could've helped me become like the others? Look at them. Running around and clinging to everyone else. What happens when those people they cling to are gone? What happens if they leave you, after they tire of you? You'll be nothing more than a shell of shattered hopes.
"People are natural-born dominators, Instructor. They expect you to follow them, just because they think they know better, or are better. Instructors like you relish on the authority you have on the students. Well, I'm not like the other students. If they think they can impose on me their beliefs, they're wrong. They're here to teach, and not dominate."
Seifer turned to face her, then. His face is still set in that stubborn manner. There was no trace of any other emotion.
"But people being dominating means that this is gonna be a dog-eat-dog world, no matter how hard you try to think it otherwise. Ultimecia proved to me this. If you want to be feared by others, you have to be strong. That way, they won't try and dominate you. They can't lead you around, like a dog on a leash."
"You can't go on on that belief forever," Quistis said. "You need other people. Look at Fujin and Raijin...they've always been with you..."
"But that does not mean that I trust them," Seifer said. "Although I have to admit that I allow them to be close than the others, I trust them no more than I trust everyone else. And that is to say, no. Trusting people is a dangerous thing, Instructor. I should know. I've been there."
Up until now, Quistis realized that she still hadn't known Seifer that much. Not that she can blame herself for being so. After all, Seifer had just told her that he was voluntarily shutting himself from everyone else all this time. And it just struck Quistis now just how much Seifer and Squall had so much in common. Was that partly why she seemed to be so concerned about him? Not that she felt anything for him in a romantic sense, like she did for Squall. Maybe it was just her to be so curiously attracted to men with masked feelings.
From the way Seifer was talking right now, she could feel that his bitterness was something that stemmed from experience. After all, he did say that he'd been there. When she thought about it now, there was a slight difference of cynicism to him from when he was still in his teens and now. It was as if something happened along those lines which caused him to make his views turn for the worse. Seifer has always been a cynical, arrogant cadet. But he was seldom bitter. Until now.
"So you see, Instructor," Seifer said. "You can stop feeling guilty about how you could've helped me before. No matter how hard you might've tried, you still won't be able to earn my trust. Because I have none to give. And you can stop trying to help me, because I don't want any."
"They're going to kill you for this one, Seifer," Quistis said, her eyes narrowing as she looked up at him. "And I'm here to save you, whether you like it or not."
Seifer looked at her in that patronizing manner. It was one of Seifer's most formidable weapons for irritating instructors. He smirked again.
"I have been damned long enough by everyone, Instructor." Seifer held up his hand and brushed Quistis' cheek softly. He was still grinning annoyingly. "And not even an angel can help me now."
Quistis' eyes narrowed stubbornly again, trying to match Seifer's patronizing smirk with her own determinedness. Damned if she was going to back down! "Look Seifer. You may think you may not need my help. But if you think I'm just going to let all this trouble of having to take back my resignation and face up to Devensor and the Board members a while ago pleading for your life go to waste, you have another thought coming. I'm going to be here tomorrow, trying to build up our case, and I'll have your cooperation even if I'll have to wrench your arm to do it!"
"My, my," Seifer snickered. "I did not realize how pretty you can be when you're angry, Instructor."
"Hmp!" Quistis said, as she turned around and pressed a button to signal the SeeD guard that she's finished. When the door was opened, she stepped out. She took one last glance at Seifer. He was still there, leaning on the wall, his arms still crossed. And he was smirking at her still.
Quistis, then, let out another snort of contempt before walking away.
Hah! Angel, indeed!