Chapter 14 : Two Halves of a Whole
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Author's Note : After MUCH time spent away from the computer, I've finally finished this second last chapter to my fic, In Dreams. I hope you guys enjoy it, and come to my page because I'm going to be updating it soon! Enjoy!
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Van watched her from the corner of his eye, trying not to make it too obvious that he was looking. In all actuality, he wanted to stare. She was more beautiful than he'd remembered. Or maybe, his memories of her had faded.
Hitomi turned, catching his eye. He flushed instantly, and turned away. They sat nervously, bot having volumes to speak, but each not daring to say it. Hitomi finally cleared her throat, it was early morning, and she'd have to head off for school soon.
"Van- I have to go to school soon."
Van nodded in understanding. Sighing, Hitomi stared at the phone. She didn't know what to do. Here he was, what she'd been dreaming about for months, and she didn't know what to do. She didn't want to admit it, but he didn't belong here. He didn't....well, fit in here. And worse, she hated the feeling of seeing him for the first time so completely, helpless.
He's helpless for my sake, she thought, he came here for me.
But still watching him sit there, unsure of what to do or how to act, the image of the proud Fanelian king gone made her heart ache painfully.
Van shifted his weight, and stared out the window. An awkward silence filled the room Hitomi seethed in frustration. It'd never been awkward before around him. Ever. Van pretended to be absorbed in counting the cars outside, and Hitomi's annoyance only grew. Why won't he say something! She thought angrily, he must've come to do something! Two days, two days it had been like this. Him, all silent and distant. Almost cold. Her, frustrated and annoyed to the point of tears, trying to figure out what he wanted, while all the while trying to deal with the feelings churning inside of her.
Throwing her arms up in hopelessness, Hitomi stood and pounded to the closet, took out her jacket and made sure to slam the closet door extra hard.
Van closed his eyes. Did she think that he was deaf or something?
There was silence in the hallway, and although he couldn't see her, he could just imagine her expression. Part pain, part anguish, part annoyance. Where was the love?
Hitomi paused in the hallway. She couldn't see him, he was blocked by a section of wall. She bit her lip, annoyance, pain and anguish flashing through her. How much she had always thought to say to him, and now that she had the opportunity, she couldn't think of a single thing to say. You'd think I'd learned this lesson already, she thought bitterly. Sighing inwardly, she turned towards the door. Well, there was school......
"Hitomi!" Van called. Hitomi froze, turning quickly. Flushing, she realized that she'd never even been meaning to actually open the door. Just waiting for him to call her back. Van appeared in the hallway. His eyes were hooded by his shock of dark hair.
"Van?" She replied, looking up at him. She pleaded him with her eyes; with her soul.
He shuddered inwardly. He'd rather face all of Zaibach, than this moment. He coward at this moment, at it made him hate himself all over again, because he so longed to be brave.
"I-" He broke off. He sighed, his fists clenching. He'd come all the way here to say just one thing, and now that he was here; well, he just couldn't say it.
"What Van?" Hitomi asked, her green eyes shimmering, looking into his eyes.
"I-"
"What?!" She demanded. Suddenly, uncharacteristically, Hitomi lost her temper.
Hitomi wasn't fiery, nor was she hot-headed. No, she was usually the opposite; even-headed and cool in all manners of situations. She'd faced dragons with hardly more than a look. She' stood in front of death, and barely flinched. But now, love was what made Hitomi Kanzaki throw down her jacket, and burst into tears.
Van stared at her, while Hitomi sank to the floor, tears coursing down her cheeks. Her face was flushed a dark red, and she sat on the floor, her knees drawn up with her arms around them. Curled into a tight ball, she rocked back and forth; and all he could do was stare.
Hitomi cried, and she cried and cried and cried. And all the while, she questioned herself-Why? Why was she crying at a time like this, when she should be happy and she should be joyous? But disregarding the rationale, she cried nonetheless.
Hitomi cried until there was nothing left to cry, and all she could do was shudder from the silent sobs. It hurt. It hurt worse than anything else ever had. This pain, this love just waiting to burst from within her. And it hurt, it hurt because she was so afraid. So afraid to love again. And so afraid that he would leave again, and tear her heart out....again. She felt like a broken record, going around and around the same track.
Van watched her, like a silent movie, he didn't know what to do. Yet he did, and saw himself doing all the things that Allen would do, and yet he didn't do any of it. He watched her, all the while knowing his face was a complete mask of emotions. Inside, he coiled from how much he hurt her.
Slowly, Hitomi calmed. Looking up, Van remembered the brave, intelligent girl who had won a war. Hitomi wiped her face, and stood up shakily. She was so thin, how had Van never even registered that?
"Hitomi-" Emotions started to flood him, making him realize with a shock, that he'd done nothing.
Hitomi flinched at his touch.
Van sighed. This was why he wasn't able to say anything, why everything felt so awkward. She seemed so....scared. Too scared.
"Hitomi-" He placed a hand firmly on her shoulder, and thought she flinched-visibly-he kept it there. "Hitomi."
She hid her head in her knees that were drawn up close to her.
"Hitomi." Van said again, and she looked up into his eyes. "Why are you so scared?" He asked softly. Hitomi tried to break his gaze, but his hand gently went up to catch her chin. The touch of his soft hand to her face sent electric tingles through her. "Why?" He asked her again, and this time, it was him that did the pleading.
Hitomi's eyes shut, and tears leaked out. When she opened them again, they were filled with anguish.
"Because.." She whispered. "Because I love you too much."
Van's hand dropped.
The tears coursed down her face, and her breathing was the only sound in the silent hallway.
"I love you, Van." She said. "And, I'm afraid because, if I lose you again," Her voice cracked, "If I lose you again, I will die." She looked up into his eyes, and he knew that it was only truth.
Van swallowed the lump in his throat that was getting dangerously close to a tear. Van Fanel, crying? Never-of course not. But Van was blinking rather rapidly nonetheless.
Slowly, her wrapped his arms around her. She was so warm, so soft. His chin rested on her head. Her hair had grown out, and it smelled of roses; roses and something else.
"You won't lose me, Hitomi." He said softly.
Hitomi was silent for a long while, then she backed out of his hold and looked at him. Her expression was tight, her eyes so filled with pain, it hurt him to see her.
"How do you know that?" She demanded.
Van was taken back. He backed away, his eyes huge. His arms dropped limply to his side.
"What?" He whispered hoarsely.
"How do you know that you won't leave again?" Hitomi said, almost sharply. "I lost you once, Van. And I almost died. If I were to lose you again..." She trailed off, the tears glistening in her eyes.
"Hitomi-"
"No." She pushed away from him. "No! I can't...I can't-" She muttered, something incoherent running through her mind. "I can't die again, Van!"
Van shook to the core from her words. They cut through him like the sharpest sword.
"I wouldn't hurt you." He whispered.
Hitomi didn't have to reply, because the words were already in the air. Put there from his own thoughts. 'You already have' Van closed his eyes. Hitomi looked at him for a moment longer, and the air in the hallway almsot crackled from the tension of it. With a slam of the door, she was gone.
Van stood alone, always alone. Licking his parched lips, he sunk down against the wall. When had things gone wrong? The beginning of all this wrongness? He remembered being in that forest with Allen; everything had been so clear then. Then, all he'd wanted was a second chance to tell her that he loved her. But now, now that just wasn't enough anymore. Not when she stood there before him, in his arms. How could he leave again?
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Allen opened his eyes slowly. Shock and humiliation flooded through him immediately. Damn, he thought, scrambling up to his feet, I fell asleep. It was day, and the traffic on the road was noisy and loud. Allen narrowed his eyes, he really hated those cars. All they ever seemed to do was make noise. He rubbed his eyes slowly, and looked around. There didn't seem to be anyone around, and for this, Allen was thankful. He paused, looking up at the grey sky. It was a warm day, warm and sticky. It felt that under his thick cloak, he was suffocating. Allen squirmed, but kept the cloak around himself. He thought for a moment, of home. Almost two days, since he'd left Gaea and Asturia behind. He wondered if he was homesick yet, as Yukari had been, as Hitomi had been. He couldn't seem to think of an answer, and he decided that no, he wasn't homesick if he had to think about it this long.
But the seed of thought had been planted there, and he couldn't seem to shake it. Home. Where was home? Asturia? Perhaps, yet he'd had no qualms about leaving it, perhaps forever, when he'd come for Yukari. Perhaps 'home' had another definition, something more...real. Perhaps home was where the heart was.
"Allen?"
The voice shocked him out of his thoughts. Her voice.
"Yu-Yukari!" He turned slowly, and hated that he suddenly forgot everything that he'd been building up to say to her for the few months. She stood there, staring wide-eyed up at him, her hand holding the front door open. Soundlessly, she stepped out and let it close behind her.
She looked up at him, her dark eyes never leaving his face. Almost like she was memorizing him, feature by feature.
"Yukari, I-" He looked around, and a hand unconsciously went up to brush a strand of golden hair behind his ear. Yukari's eyes were wide, as she stared up at him. Her hand reached out, and beat him to it; brushing it the short strand out of his eyes. Her fingers brushed his face lightly; it was like a wisp of wind.
"Its so short." She murmured.
His hand went up, and held her hand against his cheek.
"You don't like it?"
"I love it." She whispered.
What she meant was, I love you.
~***~
He's here.
He's standing right in front of me.
And all I can seem to do, is to keep breathing. For if I don't think to breath, in out in out, I will surely faint.
..He's here.
He's here for me.
He's so beautiful, the short hair makes his face come out. His eyes, they've changed even in the few weeks since I left. They're...different. He's different. And yet, he's the same knight I fell in love with. My knight. My knight in shining armor.
How long has he stood here, waiting? I should never have let Amano kiss me, because...Allen's the one for me.
And I love him. Forever.
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"We talked for a while. It was nice, we went to the park, you know, the one by the track. The really nice one, that's really far from the traffic and all. It reminded me of Gaea. He didn't say much, but I felt it Hitomi, I knew what he meant to say."
Hitomi's eyes shot up.
"You told him you love him?"
Yukari flushed, and sank onto the bed. Allen and Van were in the living room, seemingly wondrous over the TV set. They couldn't seem to understand how people could live inside of a box. Hitomi had long ago given up on explaining it to them.
"I said...something like that." She mumbled.
Hitomi laughed shortly. It was night, and all the lamps were turned on in her room. Yukari sighed and lay on the bed in her mod-robes and tank-top. She was spending the night at Hitomi's, and the door to the room was closed muffling out the voices of Van and Allen as they chattered in the living room. It was almost easy to forget that they were from another world, another planet. It almost felt like a slumber party. It almost felt normal. Almost.
But then, Hitomi thought, would this mean so much, if it were normal? She shook her head and sighed inwardly. She didn't know what she was doing. And she had the distint impression that Yukari didn't either. But the difference was that Yukari was floating on cloud nine, while Hitomi was stuck with the rational mind.
She still hadn't spoken to Van since that morning, when she'd rushed out on him. When she had returned from school that afternoon, he'd been cordial, almost friendly but not quite. There was a tenseness between them, something Hitomi couldn't quite figure out. In fact, Hitomi had returned in high spirits to mend things with Van. It seemed that Van had been the one to have a change of heart over her absence. Now, they had hardly talked since dinner, which had been run mainly by Yukari and Allen's loving gazes and spirited words, and Van seemed to be determined to avoid her as much as possible..
"Amano's moving, eh Hitomi?" Yukari said suddenly, out of the blue.
"Wha-?" Hitomi gazed up out of her reverie.
"He's moving to England."
Hitomi looked at Yukari in surprise, then nodded.
"Yeah, I know."
"You do?" This time, it was Yukari's turn to look surprised.
Hitomi nodded. "Yeah, umm, he told me."
"Oh." Yukari looked away. She swallowed, then, as if debating the issue, started up again, this time her voice softer more hooded. "He umm...he told me stuff."
"Oh?" Hitomi's eyes flared in curiousity. She put down the textbook she'd been working out of and rested her chin on the edge of the bed, gazing at Yukari expectantly.
Yukari blushed, "He was the reason why Allen was so angry with me."
Hitomi brushed a strand of auburn hair out of her eyes, and picked at the comforter. She'd known that Allen and Yukari had some sort of fight or falling out when he'd arrived, for that was why he'd rushed off. But Van had been vague about his descriptions, and anyways, they'd had their own problems since then. Through the whole thing, no one had told her Amano had anything to do with it.
"Amano?"
"Yea," Yukari nodded. "He....." She blushed again, and looked away, "He kissed me."
Hitomi stared. It took several seconds for it to sink then, and then her eyes widened even more.
"Oh my god. And-and Allen..?"
Yukari nodded. "Yeah."
"Oh my god..." Hitomi trailed off. She wondered how Van could leave out such an important part of the story. 'They had a fight' didn't really describe what had happened! "Yukari-"
"I know, I know." Yukari sighed, and closed her eyes, "Trust me, I've had more than a guilt trip."
Hitomi was silent for a while, mulling over what to say to her best friend but could think of nothing good. Finally, she spoke,
"Was it.....good?"
"What?!"
"Was it good?"
"Good?" Yukari stared. Hitomi squirmed, and realization dawned on Yukari's face. Suddenly, she grabbed a pillow and pushed it over Hitomi's head. Hitomi giggled and pushed off, throwing back at Yukari.
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Was it good?!"
"Well-" Yukari seemed at a loss for words. She let out an exasperated sigh and seemed very put-off. "Well-I..." Her mouth moved but no words came out. "I-"
"Yukari, just say yes or no." Hitomi said gently, trying to cover her smile.
Yukari laughed, her mouth hanging open. She laughed again, but no sound came out. Finally, she closed her mouth and grinned wryly.
"Don't get me wrong Hitomi, I'm so in love with Allen Schezar. He's-he's my knight in shining armor."
Hitomi smiled warmly at her friend. She knew the feeling only too well. Yukari continued,
"But- since you asked so nicely," Yukari looked pointedly at Hitomi, "It was.......okay."
Hitomi raised an eyebrow. "Only okay?"
Yukari rolled her eyes,
"What did you expect?! Fireworks?"
Hitomi laughed. She laughed for a long time. It had been a long time, since she'd laughed so long and so hard. Laughter was good, she decided in her mind. It was healing. Finally, she calmed and looked levelly at Yukari. Getting up, she sat down next to Yukari, pushing her over on the bed. They lay side by side, staring up at the cieling. It was dark out, but the light in the room made it warm and cosy. They could almost forget about the world, just laying there.
"You know Yukari, I think he always has." Hitomi said.
"Has what?"
"Liked you."
"He liked you before me." She protested, but Hitomi just shook her head. She knew the truth, and thought back then, she'd refused to admit it, she could see it now. "He always has loved you."
"Don't say that." Yukari said softly, the amusement out of her voice.
"Its only truth."
"I dont' wanna hear it."
Hitomi turned her head slightly to look at Yukari. Her friend's eyes were squeezed shut, and her face was creased with tension. Hitomi sighed, hating to say it, but having to say it anyway.
"Maybe you shouldn't ignore it."
Yukari had evidently been expecting something else, for she instantly relaxed, opening her eyes to look at Hitomi.
"What?"
"Maybe you shouldn't brush him off."
"What do you mean?"
Hitomi rolled her eyes. "Yukari, maybe.." She hesitated, but knew it was the right thing to do. "Maybe you shouldn't close yourself off to Amano. He's very good-looking, and he's nice Yukari. He's nice and he's funny. And...he loves you. He loves you so much, maybe...maybe you shouldn't ignore that."
Yukari pulled herself up to a sitting position. Her eyes were dark, as they gazed at Hitomi.
"I don't understand."
Hitomi also sat up, looking into Yukari's eyes. She fumbled for the right words.
"Have you ever thought, Yukari, that Allen might leave? He doesn't belong here, Yukari, he lives in another world. He's from another world. Perhaps..." She trailed off. Yukari's eyes were huge. Huge and dark. Her expression was stormy. Hitomi sighed inwardly, wishing she hadn't said anything. But then, would she just stand by as she watched her best friend's heart break if not tomorrow, then the next day? And if the next day, the day after that? No, Hitomi couldn't just sit by and not do anythign. Yukari was so vulnerable. She'd be lost when Allen left, especially since he'd come back for her.
"You think I don't know that?" Yukari's voice was flat. Flat and bitter, yet her expression was sad.
"I know you know, but I don't think you understand how soon. How much it will hurt."
"Understand how much it will hurt?" Yukari's voice rose dangerously, her eyes sparking. "Hitomi, I hurt already just at the thought that he will go."
"And so I'm telling you, perhaps you shouldn't ignore Amano."
Yukari's eyes narrowed even more. "How can you say that? How can you think Amano would ever be a replacement for Allen?" Yukari stood up, and glared angrily down at HItomi. Hitomi held her glare, and returned one fo her own.
"I'm just saying it, because your my best friend Yukari. I don't want to see what happened to me, happen to you!"
"Yeah, it won't. Because I told my best friend." Yukari said scathingly. Hitomi recoiled, almost physically and the words had hit the target.
"Yukari.." Hitomi's eyes filled with tears. "I just don't want to see you get hurt."
"And by pushing me towards Amano, you think Allen's leaving will hurt me less? How can I even think of being with Amano?!" Yukari demanded.
"He loves you, he's good to you and he's not hard to love Yukari. Its not hard at all."
"He's leaving to England." Yukari returned flatly, then added, "Even if I were to even consider it."
"At least he's still a part of this world." Hitomi replied gently. "Which is more than Allen will ever be."
Yukari froze. She turned slowly, looking Hitomi fully in the eye. The anger had disappeared, and all that seemed to be left was void. A deep, dark void.
"More than Allen will ever be?" Yukari's eyes narrowed, her dark eyes shone and her voice became choked with tears. Her eyes flickered over the open window, looking out into the sky. "I know, Hitomi, I know he's gonna leave me." She drew a long anguished breath. "I know." She whispered.
Two tears rolled down her pale cheeks. Hitomi watched her best friend cry over a love that would be torn from her. But she was unable to do anything. Yukari backed up slowly, her eyes switching back and forth between Hitomi and the open window, as if afraid that something would burst in that moment and tear Allen away from her.
"How can Amano ever be more than Allen is, when...when Allen is my other half?" She asked in a choked voice. Turning, she ran out, slamming the door behind her.
"My poor Yukari," Hitomi whispered softly, staring after her. And yet, she could feel no more sorrow in her heart for her friend, for..her own heart was already filled with grief for Van.
Van was her other half, and no matter how long she tried to block it out, the pain would always come back. It always could come back. And that was the part that scared her the most.
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Allen Schezar....
laughs softly he's not of this world, that's for sure.laughs again/more bitterly He's not of my world, and I'm not of his....but should that matter?
In a perfect world....no.
In this world...yes.
sigh the question is....how am I going to live without him? Without his smiles, the way his eyes shine he laughs, the way he shows off when he thinks I'm watching. My knight..my beautiful, perfect stranger in dreams. He came from dreams...and that's where he'll return. From dreams. sobs
I understand.
I understand.
I do, I really do.sobs hysterically/calms down I'm not stupid, and I understand that he's not of this world. Does Hitomi take me for an idiot? Of course not...she's just my best friend.
The problem is......
how will I be able to leave him again?
Or even if I can?
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Yukari ran along the dark road, and finally collapsed near the school track. How odd, she thought under the tears, this seems to be the midst of everything. This place. But it couldn't stay in her mind long, for the tears stung her and her chest hurt from the running.
She'd run from Hitomi's apartment, bursting out of the room through the hallway and then out the door. She'd hardly had a glimpse at Allen. But out of the corner of her eye, she'd seen him, and it hurt to see him there. So real in this world, yet for how long? Not long enough, no matter how long he stayed, it would never be long enough. Because he would always have to leave...someday, and that someday was the day that she feared so much.
"Allen..." She muttered his name, over and over.
She finally reached a little park near Hitomi's house. It was empty, being it so late at night.
She sat on one of the swings, it squeaked slightly from the rusty hinges. It made her shudder, but at least took her mind off other things.
A deep dread filled her, at what the next day would bring. And even if he didn't leave her tomorrow, who could guarantee what the next day would bring? And the day after that. Just a constant cycle of dread, and pain. Was that any way to live?
"No." Someone answered her question.
Yukari was so surprised, she fell out of the swing. She hit the sandy ground on her back, then scrambled to her feet, flushing profusely.
"Ummhh..uhh.." She scrambled for something to say, but finally settled on getting herself uprighted. She blinked at the girl standing in front of her.
Perhaps 'girl' was the wrong word. She gave off the presence of that of a woman, and yet her small frame and large, luminous eyes suggested the innocence of a girl. Yukari stared, she was the oddest girl-woman she had ever seen.
She was beautiful, but in a different way. Hers was a beauty that was seldom seen. It was like some lost treasure which had been taken from the world and hidden away. Her dark hair was long, and spread around her like a cloak. It somehow reminded her of Van's dark hair, it shone the same. And yet, Yukari shook her head. That was impossible.
Her eyes too, looked like Van's. They were a deep amber, and the regarded Yukari with the same cool expression.
"What?" Yukari straightened, trying not to stare.
The woman smiled slightly. She seemed ethereal, some kind of higher being. Yukari knew that beneath the small exterior, lay some enormous power. Something truly legendary to behold.
"I said no. That is no way to live, the constant apprehension of pain."
Yukari stared. Did this woman read her mind? Yukari's eyes narrowed, was she some kind of wacko?
"Who are you?" She demanded.
The woman smiled slightly again. Her features were like ice, frozen in time and space. Her beauty like crystal, not real, yet beautiful none the less.
"I am Varie, of the Draconian people." She smiled again. Her eyes closed a moment, and suddenly huge, shimmering white wings burst from her back. Snow-white feathers showered down around Yukari. Yukari stared. Was this some sort of a dream?
"What-"
But Varie beat her to it. Her huge white wings beat the air rapidly, and her expression was bemused as she regarded Yukari. She walked slowly around, circling around Yukari.
"Hmmm.." She seemed to be thinking of something. Yukari got the distinct impression that she was being judged. "Hmm, I see." Varie stopped, her wings still beating the air gently. She smiled. "Your friend, she has great power."
Yukari stared. "What are you?" It sounded incredibly rude, and yet, she didn't know how else to say it. What else to do you say to a woman, that seems to read your thoughts and possesses huge angelic wings! It was almost like some Halloween trick, althought it was far from October.
Varie smile again, something about her radiated so that Yukari knew not to fear her.
"So innocent." She sighed wistfully, "I remember a love so deep once."
Varie sighed again, her wings furling back in, disappearing under her cascade of dark hair. She was so small, barely taller than Yukari herself.
She sat in the swing beside Yukari, and Yukari thought it an odd sight. The woman had given off the regal bearing of a queen, and yet here she was, swinging right alongside her! Varie's eyes met Yukari's inquisitive ones.
"I bet you want to know who I am."
Yukari only nodded mutely. Varie pursed her lips,
"I really should've instilled some manners in my son." Her head tilted thoughtfully, "He's got a bad habit of leaving out certain important details of events." She laughed, and it was like little bells. "Not much different from his father." She smiled fondly at some long-ago memory.
Everything about this lady seemed to get more and more odd. First her appearance, and then the wings, and now this. The idea that the tiny woman in front of her could've had children appalled Yukari. She gawked.
"You have children?"
Varie laughed again.
"Two."
Yukari tried to hide her look of amazement. She peered into the darkness, remembering the way the Varie's eyes had shone amber like Van's. Some distant piece of the puzzle seemed to be escaping her, but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't seem to piece it together.
"Oh."
Yukari sighed. She still had no clue why this odd, yet radiant lady was sitting next to her, swinging non-chalantly, talking to her out of the blue.
"I'd want children someday." She thought out loud. She glanced sideways at Varie, who was also staring into the darkness, her eyes thoughtful. Yukari smiled half-heartedly, "I'd name a girl Serin. I'd name the boy, well, I think I'd name him Kioto."
Varie smiled. "You would make a beautiful mother, someday."
Yukari flushed. She shook her head,
"Why are you talking to me?" She asked softly.
Varie gazed at her for a while. She seemed to take time to think before she responded.
"There's something about you." She replied finally. "A great sadness, and yet a great happiness as well. It intrigues me. You intrigue me." She smiled thinly. "And yet, your time draws near. A time to choose."
"Choose?" Yukari echoed. Varie nodded,
"Choose between your love and your life." She shook her head, her dark hair rippling like silken strands. "You won't be the first to face this decision, and certainly not the last. Perhaps yours is a bigger choice, that is all. The size of the the decision to be made, not the worth."
Yukari thought for a moment, not fully comprehending. She'd come to the conclusion that this lady must not be of Earth. Almost timidly, she asked,
"Are-are you from..Asturia?"
Varie laughed. It was a pealing laughter.
"Heavens no! Fanelia, my country is Fanelia."
Yukari narrowed her eyes, wondering why that name seemed so familiar. And yet in all the chain of events that had happened to her, it just wouldn't come. Like some distant recollection that stayed at the edges of her consciousness.
"Oh." She replied. Anyways, it didn't really answer any questions. "I don't understand what you mean." She waved her hand, not meaning to sound so flippant. Varie smiled, she seemed suddenly, ageless and wise. Yukari watched her and wondered how she seemed so familiar.
A slow light dawned on Yukari. To choose between a love and a life. To choose between Allen and her life on Earth. Not the first in this world, to choose between love and life, and just as Varie said, not the last. Finally, Yukari turned back to Varie, the confusion gone from her face.
"Who are you?"
"I already said, I'm.."
"I know you're Varie, of the Draconian people. But, you. Who are you?" Yukari demanded, not wanting to seem rude, but annoyed that Varie seemed to be hiding something. Something important. Varie just shook her head.
"I'm only Varie. Just like you, you are Yukari. No more and no less than we can make ourselves to be."
Yukari wanted to grind her nails in frustration. Looking up at the dark night sky, she envisions Gaea. Asturia with its beautiful rolling hills. Fanelia, why was that name so familiar. It nagged at the corners of her mind.
"Why are talking to me?" Yukari pressed. So many questions, and she was getting no answers. None at all. The tears she had cried early had dried on her face, leaving her feeling numb and distant from her physical body. That was what tears did, they numbed.
Varie just shrugged.
"I chose once too. And.." She paused, almost contemplating the answer. "I am here for you friend as well. Hitomi Kanzaki. Her choice will be important to me."
"Why?" Yukari demanded.
"Because," Varie's eyes shimmered slightly, and her true beauty shone through. Not the outside beauty, but the inner beauty. The love that seemed to fill every aspect of this woman, this Draconian, this angel. "because, the choice that Hitomi Kanzaki will make will affect someone very dear to me. Very dear." Her voice became softer, and Yukari noticed tears in Varie's eyes.
She hated these cryptic messages. These symbolic words that seemed to mean so much, and she understood so little of them. Varie looked at Yukari, her eyes sudden sharp and dark again.
"My time is nearly up, my power spent. I have not come to dawdle and cry over lost time." She shook her head slightly. "I have come to tell you, you and Hitomi Kanzaki, you have a choice. No matter how impossible the odds."
"Allen, he..we cannot be together." Yukari's voice sounded dull and lifeless. She stared at the ground, willing the tears to go away.
"Do not give up hope. Remember, you saw him in dreams. Perhaps, you can return to those dreams and be together forever." Her voice lilted melodically, and she stood. A soft glow encompassed her, making her dark hair spread around her like a curtain. She was ethereal and beautiful. Yukari almost felt in awe of her presence, her presence like that of a queen. And yet, Varie wore no crown nor adorned no signet ring.
"My life cannot be worth only dreams!" Yukari cried, reaching out to stop Varie from leaving.
Varie smiled, and clasped Yukari's hand in her own.
"Dreams, my child, are often more than you make of them." The glow intensified, and Yukari had to looked away. The light was so bright, and Yukari wondered if that was what heaven would be like. Eternal light. And yet, if Allen was not there, then how could it be heaven.
And as Varie, of the Draconian People, disappeared through time and space, only one phrase carried through. A soft, almost sad voice that echoed through dimensions and carried all the grief of one mother.
"My son.."
