"Hey Yukari?" Someone snapped in her face, and she was whisked out of her thoughts. Hitomi's green eyes were on her. It was morning, and Yukari was staring out the window. She'd had a sleepless night.
"Morning." Yukari said, managing a smile.
The night before, she'd returned and pretended nothing was wrong. Hitomi had seemed anxious, but did not press her. Yukari didn't tell anyone of her meeting. She was afraid she was going crazy. Maybe she was going crazy. Or maybe, it wasn't her that was crazy, maybe it was just life. Maybe she lived in a world of craziness, and she alone was normal. Frowning, Yukari thought hard for a moment, trying to figure out how that made sense.
"Sleep well?" Hitomi stretched, "I'm glad there's no school today!"
"Yeah.." Yukari scanned the room. "Did..."
Hitomi seemed to have anticipated the question, and nodded. "Yep! They're asleep in the den." She beamed.
"You're about ready to burst with the suspense of it all." Yukari noted dryly. Hitomi, her face beaming and absolutely filled with pent up excitement, nodded vigorously.
"Oh Yukari, I've figured it all out!"
"Huh?" Yukari sat up, and stared at her best friend. "Figured what out?"
"Us! You know, this whole mess we dug ourselves into." She calmed, and her speech became slower. "I think...I think the problem, is that we've always been selfish. We've always thought only of ourselves. Well, maybe we shouldn't be selfish anymore."
Yukari blinked, not fully comprehending. Hitomi continued,
"Yukari, I couldn't sleep last night. It was dark, and late, and I was tired, but I still couldn't sleep. You know why?" Hitomi looked at Yukari, her green eyes sober. "Because, I just couldn't let whatever had been said between Van and I, fester over a night. Because every moment that went by, those words that we spoke in our anger and pain, festered within me." Hitomi laughed slightly, turning away. "Its sounds dumb, I know, but that's just the truth." She shrugged simply.
Yukari stared down at her hands, her own memories of the night before flooding back. Hitomi spoke again,
"And so I got up and Van-Van knew exactly how I felt, because he felt it too." Her voice grew hoarse. Hitomi smiled tearily. "He waited for me, just sitting there in the darkness. We talked Yukari, do you know how long its been since I've gotten the chance to just talk to him? Like no tears, no dramatics, just us and the words." Hitomi sighed and fell back on her bed. "And I realized, its so simple. Maybe it was the simplicity that eluded us."
Yukari narrowed her eyes, she had absolutely no clue what Hitomi was raving about. No friggin clue.
"Hitomi, just tell me what the hell you've figured out."
Hitomi rolled her eyes, "Touchy this morning?"
Yukari looked away. Hitomi sighed,
"Yukari, why don't we just go with them. Back to Gaea, back to a life there. Its beautiful in Gaea, in Fanelia. Have you ever been to Fanelia, Yukari?"
Yukari froze. Fanelia..that name wrung a bell. Her eyes widened slowly. Fanelia. Had Hitomi been to Fanelia? Her gaze flickered to her best friend.
"F-Fanelia?" She said it slowly, tasting the word as if for the first time. "You've been to Fanelia?"
Hitomi nodded, then smiled. "It's really beautiful, you know, I told you all about it. The war, Escaflowne, Merle, everyone."
"Escaflowne..Fanelia." Yukari blinked slowly. "Is there-is there a queen in Fanelia?"
"Uhmm, no. Van's mother died way back," Hitomi shrugged, "At least, I think so. He never talks about it much."
"Died?"
Hitomi nodded, then laughed. "Boy do you sound like a broken record this morning. Geez, anyway," She shrugged. "That's my plan."
"Your plan?" Yukari rolled her eyes. "You plan is to up it and leave, returning to Fanelia or Gaea to be with Van?" Inside, Yukari felt a sinking feeling. It didn't feel right, and yet, it was the only solution she, too, could come up with. Varie...she had been the queen of Fanelia, therefore making her....Van's mother. "Van-" Yukari started. She closed her eyes, remembering Varie's words. A choice. Not the first choice ever made in the name of love.
"What about Van?" Hitomi was slightly flushed. She looked away. "I thought it was a good plan." She muttered.
Yukari shook her head slowly, "I've gotta find Van." She stood slowly, stretching from a night's restless sleep. Varie, Van's mother, a ghost perhaps? But why talk to her, when her son was so close? Why??
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Allen turned slowly, squinting in the morning sunlight. He was careful to stay on the side stone walkway, having learned -the hard way- that stepping onto the dark road was hazardous to one's health. Everything in this world was so new, he felt like a newborn baby. Hardly the gallant knight from Asturia. Who was to say if fate allowed for him to be with Yukari? Who knew what would happen. At that moment, he felt a numbness that made him hardly care. Being in this new world, with the thought that, at least for the next moment, he would be with her, was enough. He laughed inwardly. Who could've guessed that he, knight of Asturia would follow his heart to the girl of his dreams and end up on the mystic moon! Who could've known that those events that had rocked all of Gaea, would eventually impact him at the cost of his heart.
He turned off the main road. This world Yukari lived in, it was so busy-just as she'd described. Thinking back, he remembered days spent with her, before things had become complicated, when she'd told him fantastic stories of this world. Fantastic stories of everything that made her want to come back. And he wondered if it might've been the other way around, if he would have as much to say about Asturia. And if not, then why was he even considering going back, when what he left behind was so much more important?
Sometimes..when one thinks clearly, perhaps for the first time, it makes everything else look so silly.
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Up and up. Just like her thoughts, Yukari felt like she was being stretched and bent, bent until she could take no more. Varie, Queen of Fanelia, mother of Van. How much of Van's past was really hidden? How much of Gaea was there left to see, to know? A sudden strong urge to go back to that faraway planet washed over her. Oh how easy it would be, she thought grimly, easier in thought than in reality. As always everything is.
She found Van who was in the backyard. She'd also looked for Alan, but he'd seemed to have disappeared. She stopped in the doorway into the backyard, watching him.
He was sitting alone on the tire swing, swinging back and forth desolately. He seemed so small, so alone. How different an image here on Earth, rather than that kingly figure in Asturia. How different our lives are, here and there, Yukari thought. How much will change if I leave? How much will change if they stay? How can we each be selfish enough to keep the other where we want them? When everything boiled down, that was the ultimate question. Who would be willing to sacrifice the ultimate sacrifice: their life? Van turned, almost sensing her presence. He smiled grimly, though his smile contained no peace. Where had the peace gone these days?
"I'm thinking of home." He admitted.
Yukari approached him, leaning against the tree. Its bark was rough. Rough but real. More real than a lot of things seemed these days.
"It feels like a dream. I'm not sure which I'm living, the dream or the reality. Do you ever feel like that?" Yukari blinked up at Van.
"Sometimes, I feel its more real here, than in Fanelia." He said. "Everything is real with her. With Hitomi. But sometimes, sometimes I'm not so sure. Because I miss Fanelia too. Its all about what we'll miss most, Hitomi or," Van weighed each hand, an invisible load in each. "Fanelia. We have to choose soon, Yukari. We have to make the ultimate choice."
The silence reigned for a moment. Then Van spoke again,
"Not the first to face this decision, and probably not the last. Perhaps it's the size that's bigger, not the worth."
Yukari stared at Van. Mother and son. Queen and now king. Of a country called Fanelia.
"Van?"
"Yes?"
"Your mother. Your mother came to me last night. She said those words as well."
Van looked at her. Yukari expected him to be surprised, angry perhaps. Maybe even excited. Nothing prepared her for the blandness she saw in his eyes.
"She came to you?"
"yes." Yukari whispered.
Van's expression was unreadable.
"What did she tell you to do?"
"She said, she said not to give up hope. She said that we can always be together in dreams. She said my life is worth only dreams." Yukari's voice dropped to a whisper. "She said dreams are more than we make of them. Oh Van! She said that, and so much more. More and more, I didn't know! I didn't know!" Unexpectedly, Yukari realized there were tears in her eyes.
Tears because she had suddenly come to realize the delusion she'd been living. The delusion they'd all been living. The dream that had become their reality.
"Oh Van!" She was suddenly sobbing. "Van, your mother. Varie of the Draconians, she knew this all before any of us did. She knew, she knew and she tried to warn me. She tried to help."
Van looked alarmed, his eyes wide at the sobbing Yukari in front of him. He didn't know what she was saying, didn't' understand her incoherent words.
"Yukari! What-what do you mean? What's wrong?"
The tears poured down her face.
"Van, we-I, none of us. None of us can go on like this."
His face was tight. He didn't understand the words, but he understood her.
"I'm sorry." Yukari whispered softly. "We're all too sorry, and I think, I think that's the problem here."
Van turned away.
The minutes passed. Precious minutes. Yukari slid down the tree, sitting on the soft grass on the ground. It really was a beautiful morning, the sky so blue, the hum of Tokyo traffic in the background. But, she just couldn't enjoy any of it. She felt ready to snap. In the last half year, she'd lived through enough to make her want to just drop away and sleep forever. Enough pain, heartache, enough of everything. And yet, she wouldn't give up a single minute of it. Not ever.
"I've had enough, Van." She admitted. Van glanced at her, swinging slowly on the tire swing.
"I know."
He'd never been one for big words or elaborate phrases, Yukari thought sadly. Maybe that's what I'll miss most about him. Not what he said, but what he didnt' say. Sometimes, the silences are worth more than gold.
The silence no longer was oppressive. Instead, it felt......peaceful.
"Have you told Allen yet?" Van asked.
"No." Yukari said softly, realizing that she'd made the decision even before she'd come and talked to Van. She'd known this outcome as soon as she'd seen that strange woman in the park, all alone and regal as a queen. A decision that would change her entire life. For good or for worse; that was the variable.
"I thought it all through," Yukari said slowly, her words drawn out. "I thought about it all night. And as Hitomi had come to a decision, so had I. She told me, this morning Van." Her eyes glanced at him, "But..."
"She's decided?" Van sighed. "I don't feel like we have too much more time."
"We don't." Yukari agreed. "How ironic this is. We've had a dream come true, nearly four days together. And yet, what do we do these four days? We bicker and cry and avoid each other. I may never see you again Van!" Tears sprung into her eyes, and in a moment, Yukari realized what she'd admitted to Van. For a moment, she hoped he wouldn't understand. Van glanced at her, his dark eyes confused. Then a light shone in them, and understanding painted his face.
"Ohh." He said slowly, softly.
Yukari looked away, wiping her eyes. If it was the right decision, then why did she hurt so bad? If this was the right path, her life, then why did she feel like it was wrong?
"Oh Yukari.." His eyes were sad. He sat next to her, his eyes somber and unreadable. "Oh I understand now."
"Do you Van?" Her words were barely audible. "Do you really understand?"
"Explain it to me then."
"It's hard." She turned away, studying the busy streets of Tokyo. The busy life, everything she had ever known. "Its too hard."
"Then make it easy!" The fire in his eyes leapt up. "Yukari, you don't know how much your decision will hurt him. You don't know how much he loves you!" His words were fierce.
"And I love him!" Yukari sobbed. "But I can't! I just can't! Not after everything. When it all comes down, its just a choice Van. Nothing about anything, just yes or no. Whether I follow, or whether I don't. And....and I can't!"
Van studied Yukari next to him. Her fine dark hair that fell over her face when she cried. How her thin shoulder shook with her sobs. Something almost akin to grief came over him. Grief and sadness for everything. Sadness for her, her pain and her decision. Grief for Allen, at what he would have to face. Grief for even Hitomi, for what she too had to decide. And finally, infinitely sorry for himself. Hey, he thought miserably, I'm entitled to just a bit of self-pity aren't I? But when he couldn't find an answer, he could only flush guiltily. How he wished all this would be over. All this love, hate, torment, betrayal, it was taxing. Too taxing.
"Yukari?" Van said softly. She leaned against him, and he too was comforted by her sobs. It was an anchor that kept him bound. Too often, lately, he'd found his thoughts floating away, back to Gaea and Fanelia.
"If it is what you choose...how can I change what you've chosen already?" His voice sounded, for once, helpless. He didn't know what to do; as a king of Fanelia, he'd never been schooled in love. Whoever has, he wondered bitterly? Who is trained for what love throws at us? Who is prepared for what Fate challenges us? He'd yet to meet that person.
"Help me change my mind!" Yukari pleaded, tears pouring down her face. She grasped him, her eyes pleading, hoping, challenging. Slowly, Van met her gaze. Her dark eyed gaze that he knew his best friend would never forget. He disengaged himself from her grasp, but didn't' let go of her hands.
"I'm sorry, Yukari. I can't do that."
Her eyes were wide.
"I can't do that, because, because it's not my place to."
Yukari's hands fell limply to her lap.
"Then I guess this is it."
Her words fell like stones on water, sinking deep and sure.
Perhaps this was it.
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It was midnight, and Yukari lay awake. She'd been thinking of what to say to Allen all day, and when she'd finally come face to face with him, she'd balked and stood there, tongue-tied. He seemed to feel the same, for the atmosphere had been awkward.
After leaving the room, she'd wanted to cry.
Some unknown force was telling her that time was running out, and her response was that she couldn't think of a single thing to say in front of him. It wasn't right. It wasn't fair; but then, who ever said love was fair? The house was so strangely silent, that it made her sit up. Staring into the darkness, her room seemed unfamiliar and different. She was back at home, after spending two, turbulent, dream-filled nights at Hitomi's, she was finally back in her own room.
Yukari sat up, pushed her covers away to let the cool night wind wash over her. A soft breeze blew into the room, making the curtain rustle and whisper. Love, they whispered, love and fate. Yukari listened to the sound of the wind, of the curtains, of the soft crickets outside. She listened to the distant traffic of Tokyo. A choice, they all whispered, a choice is now.
She sat up and stared out of her window at the bright moon in the sky. The moon from Earth, from her room, from her home. How could she leave this behind for a place where she'd eternally see her home from a window in a palace? Constantly there, but unattainable, unreachable.
Tears sprung into her eyes, only to be blinked away. Yukari fell back onto her bed, staring at her cieling. It wasn't fair, making her choose like this. Making her decide something that she shoudln't yet have to decide.
She was going to be a senior soon. It was to be the time of her life, and yet, here she was, make heart-breaking decisions on the future.
Leaving home, a place where'd she'd experienced everything. Or leaving love.
Yukari, her eyes more accustomed to the darkness, stared around her room. It was tidy, the cleaning lady having come that day. Yukari laughed softly, spying the little hand puppet that sat on her bed-post. She'd made that in kindergarten, ever the artistic one. She lifted it slowly, and compared it to her hand. It was so small, it was hard to believe she'd ever been that small.
And yet, it was even harder to believe that she'd lived in another world called Gaea, in another land called Asturia. That she'd met her true, a true knight named Allen Schezar. It could all be a dream.
After all, aren't dreams what you can't believe?
Almost automatically, Yukari stood unsteadily, her legs balancing themselves underneath her. She pulled on jeans and a top, shrugging on a sweater overtop.
These spirits within, they told her things. They reminded her and guided her. Somehow, Yukari knew that one of those spirits was Varie, Varie Queen of Fanelia. She was there, whispering, guiding. Her soft words beckoned Yukari.
Cut out your heart, they whispered. Cut out your heart, and throw it to the wind. Yukari stared into the night sky and knew that they meant. Looking down, her hands were pale in the moonlight. She saw her heart there, bleeding and dying. The last remnants of its life being slowly drained away. Her tears washed the blood from her fingers.
Then, her heart was gone, and she felt no more.
The house was quiet, her parents in deep slumber, no clue what their daughter was up to. No clue what their daughter had experienced.
Yukari left the house quietly, and jogged slowly towards the school. The field, Varie told her. Not told, exactly, just whispered. It wasn't distinct, that voice within her, more a feeling really. Something that made her know, but not explain. Something she couldn't' understand, but felt anyway.
She was glad that she'd cut out her heart already, or else it would've hurt more, that last run towards the school. I'm glad, she thought over and over. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. But because she had no more heart to feel with, she couldn't feel glad. Unfortunately, cutting out her heart had had another effect, it took away the bad, but also the good.
Yukari sighed inwardly, not feeling sadness nor happiness. Just not feelings at all.
So this is it, she thought, spying three other people standing on the field, near the track behind the school.
The school was dark, a looming shape in the distance. It seemed familiar somehow, something she knew in this night of mystery and unknown.
The moon cast a shadow and lit everything with an eerie glow. Yukari stopped a few feet away from Hitomi, Van and Allen. Allen didn't' look at her. Van and HItomi held hands tightly, their own expressions tight-lipped and somber.
Yukari balked again. Then, remembering that her heart had already been cut out, she walked forward slowly. It was colder than she'd originally thought, and she shivered involuntarily.
It was silent, all silent. She couldn't even hear her own breathing, and she wondered if she'd died. Without a heart, how could one live, after all?
It's time, the voices whispered. Yukari closed her eyes, seeing Varie Fanel, so like Van, smiling down at her. You chose, she whispered, her dark hair flowing in the wind, her bright wings floating gently. Feathers rained down, and Yukari reached a hand out to catch one. It was soft; it cast a pale silver glow. Yukari put it to her cheek and felt it's softness.
She could feel.
When she opened her eyes again, her world was blue. Blue in Allen's eyes. He stood before her, drinking her in with his blue blue eyes. She stared, transfixed into them, hypnotized by his beauty and courage and valor, everything that she loved about him.
The world tilted.
Allen turned and shouted something unintelligible to Van. Something that she couldn't' decipher because she could hear nothing but the pounding of her heart. Her cut out heart.
I want to love him, she whispered to her spirits. I want to be with him. But I cannot. Over and over, her heart whispered to its spirits, to it's guides. And over and over, her spirits whispered back, you cannot. You cannot have two. You cannot have two.
A brilliant light filled the field, and she saw Hitomi and Van. Hitomi's eyes shone green; she seemed of another world. Perhaps, she had always been of another world, simply born in the wrong world. Her eyes spoke many more volumes than her words did.
The world shook.
Yukari lost her balance; she was falling backward.
Backward into a dark abyss. Farther and farther.
She reached out, but there was no one. Time was upon them, wreaking its havoc for having been cheated. For having been used.
This is it, Yukari thought. This is where I die.
She closed her eyes again, resigned to her fate.
Suddenly, she felt it again. The soft silver feather, caressing her cheek. She opened her eyes, seeing it float down slowly. IT cast a light in the darkness. A faint light, but a light nevertheless.
And then, he was there. His blue eyes drowned her, bringing tears to her eyes. His golden hair, once long, now floated around his head in short tendrils. It made him look real, natural, wild.
He held in his arms, and they were falling together.
In his arms, she never wanted to leave.
But you've decided, her voices whispered. You've decided.
"I'm sorry." She whispered, her tears falling like crystals into the darkness that was her own heart. Allen held her, his golden hair flying.
"Never be sorry." He whispered.
And just as they hit the abyss, he kissed her. For the second time in his life, Allen kissed her. He gave up everything, his life, his knighthood, his title, for her. Everything, and anything, for her.
What was life, after all, without her?
Their lips locked, and a great surge went up within her. Her cut up heart, battered and broken, melded together.
The world rumbled around them, as the fell together.
The abyss came.
But there was always a light, because he was there. There holding her. Forever.
Darkness engulfed them, and they disappeared, holding onto each other so that one could not discern where one ended and the other began. Golden hair meshed with dark, amber eyes melded with blue.
"I love you."
And they never let go. Not even for a moment.
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The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes, was the pale soft moon sitting in the sky. It seemed almost too bright to be there. Some kind of heavenly object lost and misplaced in the darkness that was the heavens.
She blinked, squinting the moonlight, and then opening her eyes slowly. Realization washed over her in cold waves of heartache.
Allen Schezar awoke in a green pasture in the forests of Fanelia. He knew, as soon as he awoke, and dread filled his heart. Sorrow threatened to overwhelm him.
He turned over, the soft grass on his numb body. He could hear nothing else, and wondered about no one else but her. He wished he could go back in time. To a time where dimensions did not pull lovers apart, and walls did not grab back their own.
Earth had wanted Yukari.
Gaea had motioned for him.
I need you, Gaea had beckoned to him. You have things to do. Missions to accomplish; greater good to achieve.
You are, my knight, Allen Schezar.
All these words, had been whispered to him as he'd traveled through time and space returning to his rightful place.
IT was a barter. This duty and honor in exchange for her. Was it worth it? Allen liked to think that he'd done all he could to stay by her side. But as he lay there, looking into the morning sky, he saw the mystic moon and knew, deep down, that he had no place there.
Anger seized him. It made him demand, to demand why. Why had they torn him apart, these spirits? Why had they evoked their anger towards him? What had he done? Hadn't he lived the true and noble way his entire life, only know, to be turned against and cheated?
His fists clenched and tears came to his eyes at the thought of a future without Yukari. Without her great eyes swallowing him whole, with her quick smile easing his pain.
"It is often enough to have loved just once, if it was true." A voice broke his reverie and shook him into the reality that is life.
Allen sat up quickly, on guard before he even realized it. It was a beautiful lady, with great white wings like Van's. Allen stared, his eyes growing wide. She sat, perched atop a rock like it was a throne. It very well could've been a throne, her regal bearing would've made him believe it.
"Who-who are you?" He breathed. Her beauty was surreal, something out of this world. The lady, for she was no girl, smiled.
"Why is it, that we all must demand the who's and the why's and the how's of this world? Is it not enough to just know? TO just feel?"
Allen stared down at his hands, and wiped them on his tunic. Anger seized him again, making him tremble.
"Have I not fought a war? Have I not lived like a true-knight? Am I never to be happy?!" He demanded, and yet implored her at the same time, knowing somehow that she could change everything.
The lady floated towards him, floated -for her feet never touched the ground. She smiled gently.
"You have duties here, Allen Schezar."
"I have done my duty!" He said, through clenched teeth.
"You have more."
"I don't want any more!"
"Often, fate gives us no choice." For the first time, the lady looked sad. Her eyes flickered up and met Allen's blue ones. "She does not belong here, Allen. She could not live here, just as you could not live there." Her tone was gentle but impossibly firm. Like a rock that changes the course of a river, gently and ever in such a small way, but ever firm and standing its ground.
Allen struggled to his feet, feeling dazed and confused. The thing that beat in his chest was certainly no heart; for he'd lost his heart.
"Gaea hates me, though I have done everything for her." He said, through clenched teeth. The lady shook her head softly, great cascades of dark hair rippling around her.
"No." She smiled softly, her radiance warm and wrapping him in it's arms. "No. Gaea loves you." And in an instant, she showed him the future that would've been his had Gaea allowed them to be together.
He saw Yukari with him, in Asturia, their love dwindling to be replaced by sickness and sorrow. She was pale and wan, discouraged by indirection and confusion. He saw himself, fighting battles, coming home victorious to a wife that wanted to do as much as he, but had no chance to. He saw himself imploring her to stay in their great castle, to take care of their golden-haired children. He saw her leaving, in tears and frustration, running away to faraway lands, trying desperately to be understood.
Then he saw himself on the mystic moon, her home called Earth. Dressed in the stiff clothing they wore, he saw himself picking garbage off the windy, busy streets, barely dodging those monsters that roared down the road. He saw Yukari, in a business suit, never home and always busy. He saw himself, no purpose, no direction.
He saw Gaea. Asturia, falling to invading Zaibach and neighboring countries. King Aston dead, Millerna distraught. He saw Fanelia, Van struggling to find advice only to be tricked by advisors that follow neither honor nor code, only money. He saw all of Gaea, burning and dying. Sickened from war.
When the visions ended, his eyes were filled with tears.
"No." He whispered. He couldn't' believed it. He wouldn't believe it. "I loved her.." He said softly, "..with all of my heart."
The lady smiled.
"It is not the end of a story."
"My heart is gone." He said finally, dully. He'd come ot accept. Come to acknowledge. Though, knowledge did not mean his heart had returned.
"It may be gone for a long time yet." She agreed. "But as I said, it is often enough to have met her, loved her, and carried her memories on with you."
Allen closed his eyes. He imagined her smile, encouraging him to be better than he was. Encouraging him to be braver, more chivalrous. More importantly, she'd shown him humility. Shown him his greatest weakness, and ultimately, made him infinitely stronger.
"I'll never forget." He whispered, a vow to himself. The lady smiled softly.
"No. Never forget." The lady rose, disappearing slowly. "In dreams, Allen Schezar, Knight of Gaea, in dreams, you shall meet her again."
A yellow daisy, she handed him. It was bright in the darkness of his sorrow. He stared at it long after the lady had left. He'd long ago stopped wondering at to her identity.
A yellow daisy, the kind that she'd used to sit on the hills and pick by the bundles to remind her of her home.
"You're home now." He said softly, staring up at the mystic moon. "Just as I promised."
Then, with a new sense of purpose, and a new aura of sorrow, Allen Schezar, Knight of Gaea, set off on his destiny.
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Van sat on his throne.
Over and over, he replayed in his mind what had happened. I love you Van Fanel, never forget that. It was what she'd said, in their final moments together. Just moments before the blue light had appeared and covered the sky and shaken the earth. Then, he'd kissed her, and whispered back, I love you. In those moments, he'd known true love. He'd never trade them for the world.
He drummed his fingers on the throne, listening to the sound of his Chancellor announcing upcoming royal visits from other foreign dignitaries. It seemed an unending list that, in the past, would've bored him to death. But lately, these little trivial matters of the kingdom had taken all of his attention, making him throw his entire self into their matters. He preferred it's boresome tone to the sharp memories in his heart.
Somehow, he'd always imagined that parting with her a second time would be a knife through his heart worse than the first time. And yet, he sat there, a sense of loss acute, but not overwhelming.
Perhaps it was the fact that, all he'd wanted was what he'd achieved.
A second chance.
And he'd gotten that, and more importantly, he'd done it right this time. Even if he never saw her again, physically, he'd always know that she loved him and that he loved her. In his memories, she was more alive than she'd ever be in her earthly life.
"One day at a time." He muttered, shifting under the crown. For once, he didn't feel it's overbearing weight.
"Pardon me, Your Majesty?" His Chancellor glanced up in the midst of his announcements. King Van Fanel of Fanelia hid a smile and waved his Chancellor on.
"Go on."
The long list continued.
Van felt the weight of the pendant around his neck. One day at a time. The pain might still be there, and the sorrow would always be there. But he'd get by, one day at a time. One day at a time.
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_
Six Months Later
"Hitomi! Look at this dress!" Yukari twirled around and around, laughing and giggling. Prom night, and they'd converged at Hitomi's house to prepare and primp, awaiting the arrival of their dates.
"Good god, Yukari, that bow is huge!"
"I know." Yukari laughed. "I couldn't help it, Amano chose it out. What could I do, say no?" Yukari grinned, looking over her shoulder at the big blue bow that decorated the back of her beaded dress. "Anyway, he said that this the style over there in England! I'm not one to argue with a Brit!" She giggled.
"Oh of course not." Hitomi fixed her hair, which had once again been cut short around her head. She turned, in an emerald green dress that drastically brought out her eyes. White diamond encircled her neck.
"You girls ready?" Mrs.Kanzaki stuck her head in, her eyes brimming. "Oh my babies, all grown up. Commere for a picture!"
Grumbling, Hitomi reluctantly readied herself for a picture. Yukari hid a smile, knowing that Hitomi always hated pictures.
"Aww come on Tomi, be a sport. This is, after all, the most important night of our junior careers."
Hitomi rolled her eyes.
*Snap* A memory, forever enframed in a picture of two smiling girls.
From the picture, one would never have guessed that these two girls had lived life's very best. That they had experienced life's very worst. That they had lived, loved and lost, and that little pieces of their heart still rested in a faraway world called Gaea.
Since that day, they'd never again spoken of their adventures, feelings or thoughts of Gaea, of Allen or Van. It was as if the memory had been erased for earth, never to be dug up.
They'd lived slowly, first dragging each other along the path called life. Then slowly picking up speed, and being able to walk again. And now, they ran with the rest of their crowd, ahead, made stronger from pain and from love.
In the middle of the prom dance, Yukari left the room and headed out into the balcony adjoining one of the rooms of the hall. It was a beautiful night, the kind that memories are from. Yukari brushed a wisp of dark hair that had fallen out of it's tight do, and traced her fingers along the pale reflection of the light from the lighted rooms behind her.
She swallowed slowly. Six months to the day.
It had been hard, too hard, at first. And then, it'd gotten better. Slowly. SHe no longer thought of her heart as falling out, nor dead. It was there, at least, though weak.
An arm encircling her brought her out of her dreams. She looked up and smiled slowly. Amano wrapped his arms around her making her feel warmth.
"You are so beautiful." He whispered, turning her so that they danced slowly to the music that filter out from the hall.
Yukari rested her head on his shoulder, and breathed in the sweet smell of his cologne. It was intoxicating, like wine and roses. They swayed slowly to the music.
Amano knew, to some extent, that something had changed her. And he'd accepted it, allowing her time and space. He knew she still wasn't ready for many things that a relationship required, including commitment. But he also knew that time, and time alone, would heal those things.
Yukari's eyes flickered up to the bright moon that hung in the sky. It seemed too bright, and for the first time in a long time, Yukari let herself think of him.
She winced, expecting a torrent of emotion and pain to follow his image. But none came. She relaxed into Amano's arms.
"Thank-you." She whispered to the night air.
Thank-you for Allen, and for Van and for the memories. Thank-you for Hitomi and for Amano. Thank-you for life.
Love has a way of mending itself. Leaving the bad things out, and taking only the best. Yukari smiled slightly, resting her chin on his shoulder.
Let the best times come. And if she'd already lived the best times in her life, then...she'd be very happy for second-best.
