HIYEEEEEE! Well, I know what're you're expecting, none other
than the infamous rantings that every author must do, more in
humor fics than anything, which are in every single one of my
fics I think (too lazy to check grrrr...). But you know what? I
bet that guess is wrong. Yeah it's wrong. That one too. K, I'll
just say it, I'm not gonna rant. Yeah isn't that sooo amazing. I
mean how many fics have you read where people just rant, rant,
rant though I think that all of them are kind of fun to hear err
read. But nope, my ranting days are over. O-V-E-R over,
oooooovvveeeerrrrr. So you'll never see a rant anywhere. Not
here, not there, not under a hat, not in a house or however that
Cat in the Hat rhyme goes. All I'll state is the disclaimer, that
is, I don't own Gundam Wing and you know what else? Hmmmmmmm?
Betcha don't so I'll tell ya. I'm not gonna rant about owning
gundam wing. I don't own it, plain and simple, nothin' more
nothin' less. All I state, and only once I shall state this mind
you ONCE, is that I don't own Gundam Wing. I'm not going to rant
about how I wish I owned it so I could make more episodes or
anything. Even if I'm on a sugar high, I'm rant free *big cheesy
smile an cheesy movie star poze*. I'm not even doing my favorite
adorable kawaii laugh: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA (ain't it cute hmm? huh?
Oh fine be stubborn and don't admit, fiiine wiiith me) Plus, in
addition to the conclusion of my non-ranting days as well as my
non-repitiveness (a triple feature people, triple) I'm not,
not, going to warn you about my horrible
spellings and grammer errors. Nope. You're on the you're own.
It's just staight to the ficcy today hooray! (heh. coulnd't help
it ^
But first, enough with the groaning, I have to say, do not take offense if anyone is slightly referred to as a dumb blonde especially since it's my favorite character and the fact that I have friends who are blonde and smarter than me but for my purposes, it's something Quatre really hates, as cliche as it is. *looks at scentence* Looks like I stand a good chance for the longest, non-sugar-high-speech scentence. Yay. K, now it's on with the fic for real:
WAIT! Summary of this chapter: They don't meet the real enemy yet, they have some problems to solve first. I just felt like writing something extra to delay their torture and yours mwahahahahaha. K proceed.
ONE SECOND PLEEEEZ, Just kidding go ahead ^
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Quatre: Trowa, did you take the key?
Trowa: Hmmm. *thinks for several minutes in silence* No.
Mass amount of sweatdrops.
Trowa: You shouldn't blame me. It's the blonde's fault. It is his mansion you know.
Quatre: Just for that, you're staying outside if we ever get in.
Trowa: And you wonder why I keep my mouth shut.
Heero: So. What's the plan?
12 minutes thinking, what can I say, I like using numbers - except for in math...and english, language, art-theatre-dance, gym, and all of real life unless I'm positive I'm being ripped of. BUT enough about moi...
Duo: I've got it!
Wufei: What?
Duo: It's elementary, my dear Fei-chan!
Everyone backs away slowly, except for *snicker; snicker* Fei-chan.
Wufei: *eeevil glare and reaches for katana that is no longer there* You call me "my dear Fei-chan" one more time, and I'll shall kill you before you can say it again.
Cartoon Network censory person walks in. Censor Lady: "Scuse me, Miss Catseye but you are not allowed to use the words kill, Oh my oh Koso, or any curses and such or even the word 'baka' as you fans say. Catseye: K, got it, by now. *mumbling* I shall kill you, you baka American censorship dubber who ruins all the great lines simply because they couldn't pronounce japanese if it talking to 'em. ANYWAY, ignore her and we shall continue!
Duo: Don't call you what?
Eveyone takes a defensive step back.
Wufei: Fei-chan!
Duo: Ok Fei-Fei. Now how are we getting in again? I didn't really have an idea, it was just too quiet.
Wufei: *zero systemy mad now* You silly little person. I will have to destroy you for your misinformation.
Arrr. AWAY WITH YOU, YOU EVIL MONSTER CENSORSHIP LADY!!! Ahem. Woofy is supposed to say this:
Wufei: YOU STUPID BAKA MONSTER. I SHALL KILL YOU FOR YOUR STUPIDITY!!! (muuch beeter ne?)
Quatre: Ok...Duo, don't you know any lock picking?
Duo: Left my kit at home...I have an idea! For real this time *reaches into braid* Huh? *growling* Alright, who took my bombs?
Wufei: Same person who took my katana. It's bad enough that Heero can't kill himself everytime he tries but now Maxwell escapes a death from my hands? It's injustice I say!
Trowa: An my spare uzi's gone too *starts crying*
Duo: I thought you used up your emotions when you were younger...
Trowa: *sniff* That was before I knew the beauty of a gun that shoots lots and lots of times...*daydreamily* ahh. Uzziiis. The beautiful handle. The sparkle of the bullets as they leave the gun...The twine as they ricochet off the walls...the inspiring thud of a hit...
Heero: Uzis haven't been made since 2007 so you couldn't possibly have one. The only thing they exist in is that ancient 21st century game Tomb Raider. They are useless in outer space combat and inferior to modern weapons.
Trowa: I can dream can't I?
Quatre: *anime kindergarten teacher/Aladdin's genie-(coincidence?)-flying-him-out-of-the-cave voice* And we learn that the unibang is not only obssesive and weird but we also learn that he's more trigger-happy than Heero. And that class, conludes our lesson for tonight.
Trowa: Oooh, something smart said from blondy.
Heero: And you shouldn't be so mean Quatre. Trowa more trigger happy than I am...Da noyve, da noyve.
Wufei: Am I the only person who remains normal around here? Heero's trying for a cartoon accent or any for that matter, Trowa's fantasizing about a weapon in some stupid 21st century game not to mention the fact that he's gone mad, Quatre's insulting someone and...
Duo: Hey I haven't done anything out of the ordianry.
Wufei: Then aside from scaring me with his new use of nicknames, Duo's actuallt acting like a half human being.
Duo: I feel some hostility here. Before we break anyone let's vent our anger by sharing our feelings.
Trowa: Go (censor even I have my limits) Duo before I rip your head off by your braid.
Heero: Hey, I'm the only one who can threaten Duo like that. You're not supposed to be that violent.
Duo: *half-fake gasp* Such language and hostility. Shame, shame Trowa. Why don't we try to solve our problems?
Heero: Why don't you get us inside?
Quatre: Fine. I'll do it.
Quatre expertisley grabs the unsuspecting Trowa by the arm and flings him into the first floor window, where he falls on the couch nearby and shatters glass everywhere.
Trowa: Why did you do that?
Quatre: It was either that or you stay outside when I throw Wufei into the window.
Wufei: I didn't do anything.
Quatre: You look ugly standing there, that reason enough for you?
Wufei: *sulking* Meany.
Heero: I think the zero system had a few long term effects on him.
Quatre: Yeah and it made you into a thumb-sucking suicide boy. And it isn't the zero system this time, I just haven't had my evening tea which some (censor,censor) is hiding.
Heero: *thinking* this time???
Duo: And Trowa?
Quatre: Problem child of course.
Trowa: *after brushing glas from his hair* Am not. You're the one with twenty something sisters that raised you to be such a girly wuss.
Quatre: *snort* Your the one that looks like Noin.
Trowa: *rolls eyes...eye* My only problem is that blondy over here owes me money -
Quatre: 11 cents. I owe him 11 cents because the baka ice cream man didn't have change for a 500.
Duo: Trowa, um, if you live here without paying rent then what difference does 11 cents make?
Trowa: Good point. *runs outside*
Duo: YEAH! I solved a problem!
Wufei: How about I knock you out and solve another one?
Heero: *whiny voice* I'm the only one who gets to knock him out like that!
Duo: Trowa's knocked me out before...So he...
Heero: Has a plot to steal my character.
Wufei: Now you've just plain cracked. It was only a matter of time *sigh*. You see, woshipping Nataku kept me in sane.
Quatre: You just said in sane smart one.
Wufei: *imitating Quatre* It was a typo smart one.
Quatre: That's it, I can only go so far.
Quatre and Wufei fight for a good twenty three and a quarter minutes.
Duo: I bet Quatre's gonna come out of this with fewer bruises.
Heero: You mean he'll win?
Duo: Naah. Something will happen and the fight'll stop.
Heero: Two bucks on Wufei then, he'll probably rant about injustice until Quatre's stunned.
Trowa walks in carrying three large cases of tea and Quatre immediately jumps up and attacks the tea cases and somehow runs into the kitchen (with record speed) carrying three large cases of tea. Wufei is too beaten up to move much (never mess with pacifists, you can never predict their moves since they don't fight alot) and he of course lost making Duo very happy.
Duo: Nyah, nyah, nyah. I win, you lose, I was right for the second time tonight!!
Heero: *monotonous or normal voice* Wow, two bucks, yip...eee.
Wufei: Who bet on me?
Heero: I did. Unfortunaly.
Wufei: Good. I couldn't stand having a reason to be nice to Maxwell.
Duo: I was right anyway. And you were wrong Heero. Any concluding comments o great Loser Yuy.
Heero: *death glare*...... Hey Trowa, what took you so long?
Trowa: I hid the tea near a pyramid in Egypt but there's a bit more sand spread out all over the place so it took me a while to find it.
Duo: Are you kidding?
Trowa: ...?...What is this kidding thing? Is it good?
Duo: Oi, I'm surrounded by emotionless androids.
Heero: You say emotionless android like it's a bad thing.
Duo: I give up. You guys are just plain sad.
Trowa: What is -
Duo: Forget I asked.
Trowa:....
Duo: Just forget it.
Trowa: I didn't say anything...
Duo: I repeat, I'm surrounded.
Quatre walks in sipping some tea.
Quatre: Ahhh. My evening tea.
Heero:*kinda timedly* So you're feeling better now right?
Quatre: Better? Oh. You mean if I'm less cranky? Yes, much better thanks. But where's Miss Catseye's brother? She did say that he would appear once we got here didn't she?
Wufei: *groan* I wouldn't be too eager if I were you.
Heero: What's wrong with a bit of rest and relaxation?
Wufei: *struggles to sit up* Look, Quatre and Trowa forgot their keys not to mention the fact that they've been at each other's throats. Duo's been acting normal. Quatre's been insulting everyone. Trowa has fantizations about extinct game weapons. Heero's had his "feelings" "hurt". We've actually HEARD the words Heero and feelings and hurt all in the same scentence. Then Trowa apparently ran all the way to Egypt to find some tea he buried. Quatre beat me up and that's just plain injustice. I swear that tea is some kind of steroid suppresant or something cause the only -
Heero: Get on with it.
Wufei: Fine, fine. As I was saying nothing has gone right so far tonight. Everything that can go wrong right now has and it's been the craziest night in our existances. Not to mention the fact that everything gets worse so my point is, this kid is probably worse than all of this...
Twilight Zone music plays as the G-boys' eyes grow Chibi-sized (in Trowa's case one eye) And thus we have the end of chapter 2.
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Chapter 3 will take a while so check back again between Monday the 28th and the Wednesday 30th (2001) and in ze meantime you can review, hint, hint ^v^. If I get enough reviews it'll come out even sooner wink, wink. Enough being more than 20 and since I doubt I'll get that many you may have to wait the whole time. I'm so evil... \_ /
