Find
reason
By
SW
***This
takes place before Goku and Sanzo find Hakkai and Gojyo. Early pre Saiyuki
story *****
***Many
thanks to Von-san for her yelling and death threats ^^*****
3
hours, 3 hellish hours of chasing that damn Yokkai….Every time he got with in
reach of the damn thing it would disappear again. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed a flash of white. * Ah
ha! * Dropping behind a tree he waited for it to round the bend.
"EYAH!" The yokkai hit the ground like a ton of bricks.
Brushing him self off he peered around the
forest. "Where the hell am I???"
Groaning
a grimy hand swiped at a sweat and dirt caked face. Tripping over his own weary
legs he fell in front of the inviting stream, nosily slurping at the water.
Sighing happily he rocked back on his heels, taking a moment to enjoy the life
giving liquid. Yellow eyes opened once more gazing at his reflection, ragged
red Chinese pants and shirt, torn and splattered with a darker shade of red.
Longish brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, absently he tugged at one of his
ear tails. While his features were
those of a young boy, his hollowed gold-flecked orbs were those of an older
creature. It was strange, his own face was unfamiliar. After all those years of
having nothing but stone and an empty mountainside to stare at. The first time
he had seen him self in a mirror he had been shocked, an alien face had been
looking back at him.
Sitting on the grass he swiveled his head
toward the path that lay a few feet ahead. *Alright at least I found the stupid
road…* Letting his head fall back he stared at the evening sky. *Another
night…Did he even care that I was lost? … No I doubt Sanzo even noticed…. Who
am I kidding? He doesn't want me any were near him. * The boy flung a rock
across the water. * I'm treated like a dog…Goku go fetch!…Stupid monkey!.…Why
the hell do I put up with it?…..Because he freed me…….Because he was the first
to be kind to me for along time….Because I can't remember…And I'll stay by his
side forever.* Clambering ungracefully to his feet he began trudging toward the
path.
Shoving open the door to the inn, a
white-topped head looked up. "Goku-san! Your back! Are you alright?"
The old man looked him over worriedly, the boy smiled reassuringly. "Hai!
hai! I'm fine! Just gotta little lost in the woods!" The elderly one shook
his head, looking relieved. "We were worried when you didn't return with
your friend! When we asked Sanzo-san, he said he didn't know…" The demons
smile became a bit strained. "Oh Sanzo never worries! I'm just going to
head up to my room and get cleaned up! Oyasumi!" He called cheerfully as
possible.
Th
first thing that greeted him as he walked through the door, was a fan
connecting with the side of his head. Accompanied with a yell, "Damn stupid
monkey! Where have you been!?" Sanzo glared at him angrily, it figures, it was
his own fault. After all, everything
was his fault. "I got lost." Was the short answer, he pushed past the fuming
blond. The priest turned following him, and raising his voice once more. "Where
are you going now?!" "To take a bath." Calmly the boy grabbed some things from
his room, and continued walking toward the bathroom. Sanzo blinked in surprise,
he hadn't expected a response like that.
After
stripping down Goku unceremoniously dumped a bucket of cold water over his
head. He Stepped into the tub, sliding down until only his head was
unsubmerged. Golden eyes fluttered shut, as the warm water soothed his weary
body. With in seconds he was sound asleep.
Groggily, the young demon attempted to get
up out of the tub full of cold water. Kami only knows how long he had been
soaking in there, his joints were stiff and didn't seem to feel like responding
properly. Sluggishly he dried off and changed into a pair of pajama bottoms,
and stumbled back to his room. Sanzo listened to the sound of shuffling,
frowning he rose from his bed. Jerking open the door that adjoined the two
bedrooms. "Goku! It's 3 am! What the hell are you doing?!" The boy
blinked owlishly at him, pausing in mid step. "Gomen……I'll get to
bed." Goku answered quietly, in a rather demur voice, that failed to match
his usually genki attitude. Unable to find anything else to yell about, he
turned back he closed the door and headed to bed
Laying back down the priest began to think
over the yokkai's odd behavior, Goku hadn't argued with him, he had seemed
rather…Unfocused. And a bit to quiet to be normal. He frowned once more, may be
just maybe he was being too rough. He didn't really want the boy to be
miserable, just not annoying.
For the second day the boy was being
unnaturally quiet, he had barley touched his breakfast. And had not said a word
about eating or food all morning long. Something was definitely wrong, the monk
decided he didn't like the attitude change. This was not the Goku he knew, the
Goku he knew was a genki, bouncing
living ball of energy. He wanted the
real Goku back, not the sullen person who had taken his place.
Not a single smile, not a single fucking
smile all fucking day. It was late afternoon now, and he was not happy about
it. They should get going, sighing he got up. "Goku we are checking
out." He went out stairs to
collect their supplies, not bothering to wait for the boy to follow.
The two travelers trudged down the worn dirt
road, they walked in silence neither speaking a word. The spiky brown head
remained bowed staring intently at his feet, an air of despondence still hung
thickly about the boy. Sanzo's anger was rising every minute, he was going to
snap if the demon didn't stop sulking soon. His thoughts were ended abruptly as
some yokkai burst onto the road.
Cursing violently Sanzo and Goku dropped
into fighting stances. "I'm starting to wonder if these guys follow us or
something…" Goku murmured irritably, dodging to one side. Out of the
corner of his eye Sanzo observed the boy as they fought the demons, something
in the usually precise moves were off.
The monkey was leaving himself wide open, and was landing strikes
sloppily. Delivering a fatal blow to one of the demons, the boy paused long
enough to catch his breath. In his off guard state he didn't see the claws
aimed at his back. Just before the talon like nails could connect there was
enoughter shot. Sending the monkey's attacker flying, killing it instantly.
Turning with widened eyes the boy found
the familiar gun muzzle pointed at his forehead. "What the fuck is wrong
with you?! Talk or I'LL SEND YOU TO HELL!" Goku's mouth fell open in
shock, as the blond stood before him. Violet eyes narrowed and accusing. He
attempted to find words to speak, a lump rose in his throat.
"I……I…." He twisted his head
to the side, bangs obscuring his eyes. As he hide his face, in a weak attempt
at getting himself under control. Another thing he failed at, he thought idly.
A pale hand forcefully turned his head back to face his keeper.
"Goku?" The gun was gone and the priests voice was softer and tinged
with worry. Golden eyes blinked back tears, as his slight shoulders began to
tremble. Not uttering a single noise,
he stared mournfully back at Sanzo. Fighting to stay together, he was so
painfully defenseless. Sanzo felt his chest constrict painfully, but he didn't
know why. Why should he care? He shouldn't be affected by this display of
weakness. But there was a big difference between shouldn't and did, like the
dull ache that was wounded by the hallow shell of the young man. The boys mask
had crumbled completely, leaving him standing there shaking with silent tears.
He still refused to cry out loud, after all wasn't it the only shred of
restraint he had left? Dropping his hand upon Goku's shoulder he pulled him
into his arms, pressings the demons head against his chest. Wordlessly he
hugged the boy, who finally allowed a sob to escape. Gold eyes squeezed shut as
he took in shaky breaths. The boy finally managed to force out a few strangled
words. "Am I-I…. useless?" He asked so quietly Sanzo was barley able
to catch it.
The blond tightened his hold a little,
gazing gently at the tear stained face. "Baka…You've never been
useless." The gold eyes flew open, looking up at him in surprise.
"H-Hontou?" Came the unsure reply. "Hai." The priest smiled
slightly, stroking the boy's head. A smile formed on the boy's lips as he
buried his head once more in Sanzo's chest. Enjoying the brief moment of warmth
that he felt, there was no place he would rather be.
*****YES
DONE! I have been saved from the fate of being fed to rabid squirrels and man-eating
sharks!~