chapter13
Chapter 13

Zander walked out of Alexis's apartment with his daughter's photos in hand, and not knowing how he was going to tell his new wife about his old life. He had always held his daughter in his heart and he had the memories of her tucked safely away in the back of his mind. He would think about her often and wonder the what ifs. He had tried for so long to forget his past in Florida and those he left there three years ago. He had finally convinced himself that he did it to protect them, but deep down he knew he ran cause he was scared. Scared to face his problems with his bookies and afraid to face his fears of being a father. Because of Emily he learned he didn't have to run away, what he had to do was to face those fears and hit them head on...no matter what. The only way to overcome the fear is to face it and to deal with it...don't bury it cause it only comes back twice fold. And Steph knew just how to do that...she always did.

As he made his way back to the apartment he was hoping to arrive before Emily. The news about Steph and Alexandra were going to blow her right out of the water. This was a complete surprise to him so he knew that she had no inclination of what was in store for her when she came home. Heck, he wasn't even sure how to tell her...and he had to tell her. Steph was so unpredictable..for all he knew she was already on a plane headed for Port Charles. If she found Alexis, she wouldn't have a problem finding him. He was racking his brain trying to think of a way to tell Emily with out hurting her...but he came to realize there was no way around it. The straight forward truth was what he needed to tell her and nothing more or less. Emily deserved that much. He was praying to God that she would understand, and that she would forgive him.

Zander noticed when he stepped off the elevator Antonio wasn't standing guard, which means Emily wasn't back yet from visiting her family. He had a little time yet to prepare for what was about to happen when he told his wife about the child he left in his past. As he unlocked the door he thought to himself.."God...what have I done?! How is Emily ever going to forgive me for this?" He opened the door and walked into the apartment throwing his keys on the table that stood next to the door. He closed the door behind him and wandered to the kitchen for a glass of water. He was gonna need it when he told her. His throat and mouth were dry now from nerves, it is gonna get a lot worse shortly. He poured himself a glass of water and took a seat on the sofa with his back facing the door. He leaned back into the cushion and laid his head back as he held the glass in his hand. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and all he saw was this adorable face staring at him. "She followed him everywhere. He opened up the folder that contained the photographs of his daughter and his first love. And Steph was...his first love. He was a senior in high school...there was no way he was ready to be a parent at eighteen. And where does she get off keeping his child from him. She had no right! No right what so ever. He could feel his blood pressure rising just at the thought of Steph telling his daughter all sorts of lies about him, lies and half truths. He was sure her parents had a field day filling Alexandra's head with trash talk about him. They never liked me..never." He thought as he took a sip of water. There was no way to turn the clock back now...what was done was done, there is no changing the past. He just wished Steph would of left his memories of his daughter pleasant ones and not turn this into a battle of wits over her. He had enough problems already. He didn't need Steph creating new ones. "God..why does she have to do this to me now?! Why?" he thought as he felt the anger and guilt come over him.

"Do what to you now?" a voice replied from behind him. Zander didn't even hear the door open and Emily walk in. "How much did you hear? " he asked hoping she didn't hear any of it. "Zander...what's going on?" she questioned as she laid her bag on the table. He noticed the photos sprawled over the coffee table and scurried to put them back into the folder from which they came. She walked into the living room area and took a seat on the sofa...she propped her legs up on the ottoman that sat before her. He was hoping she didn't see the photos that were in that folder...it was time to tell her the truth and he had no idea where to start. She was about to get hurt in the worst way and he was the only one to blame for this time.

*********************************************************************************************************

Alexis didn't know how to help Zander in this situation, other than tell him to tell Emily the truth. There was no way out this time. The past he thought was buried just resurfaced with a vengeance.

As she walked towards the kitchen for a glass of water, the phone rang. "Now what?!..." she thought as she quickly ran to grab it. "Hello, Alexis Davis." she stated as she picked it up. "Ms. Alexis Davis?..." the voice asked. "Yes, how can I help you..." Alexis replied bewildered at who in the world would be asking such a question. "Good, I got the right Davis...Oh, uh..you don't know me but my name is Stephanie Lords..." the voice replied...as Alexis stood there in shock to hear that name. A brief pause while Alexis collected her thoughts. "Ms. Davis..." Steph asked cause she heard complete silence on the other end of the line. "Oh, yes..what can I do for you Ms. Lords?..." Alexis replied knowing full well this was the Steph Zander had been talking about earlier and who sent the photos. "I am hoping that you can help me track down someone..." she replied as Alexis now was nervous to hear her next thought. "I'm not sure I can...by the way how did you know..." Alexis began.. " Oh..I just took a lucky guess, and I saw the write ups in the newspaper about the trial of...uh,...Joseph..Sorel." Steph stated as Alexis adjusted her glasses. "Oh, I see...so who do you need tracked down..." she asked as she already knew the answer. "A guy named Alexander Smith...know him?" Steph implied with her inquire. "Uh, yeah...he's my client..and anything more than that I can't tell you. I'm sorry." Alexis replied hoping the attorney jargon might discourage her. "Ms. Davis..I have no inclination of starting problems with Alex...I just need to know if he is living there.." she began as Alexis pondered a few ideas why she would be asking about Zander this way. "Like I said...Zander's affairs are confidential and I would have to get permission to divulge any information to you..." Alexis replied as she replaced her friendship cap with her attorney cap. "Ms. Davis...I just need to know if he is living in...P-Port Charles...that's it." she stated as Alexis heard in her voice she was getting frustrated with the run around she was giving her. "Okay...let me ask you a question...may I? First I would like to know what business you have with my client? What exactly do you want from him?" Alexis questioned to this person on the other end of the line. "That was two Ms. Davis...But I am Alex's girlfriend and mother of his child who he had left in Florida when he took off to places unknown. I am the woman who wants him to take responsibility of his child and the woman who still wants to be a part of his life. Does that answer your questions....Ms. Davis?" she replied a little snippy. "Ms. Lords the best I can do for you is to give Zander the message and let him know that you called. But like I said before I can't divulge any information about my client...and he is my client." Alexis replied getting a little snippy herself. "Fine..give him my number and have him call me..please." she replied. "Where can he reach you ... " Alexis replied as she reached for a pen to write down the phone number. "Alex can reach me at the following number day or night...703 - 555 - 3550...we moved since he left, and now me and Alexandra live in Virginia." she replied as Alexis heard the child yelling in the background. "Okay, I'll give him the message." she replied. "Thank you Ms. Davis...." Steph replied as Alexis heard her end of the line go dead. "Your welcome..." Alexis said sarcastically to the dead line.

"Well, at least she called me and not Zander...he would have some more explaining to do..." she thought as she started once again to go into the kitchen for a glass of water. "I wonder how he is doing explaining this to Emily...maybe I should be there for support..." she thought as she reached for the phone to call him. "No..he needs to this on his own...what am I...his mother. He needs to tell Emily the truth and it will be better for her to hear from him than from me."

********************************************************************************************************

Zander sat across from Emily with a concerned look on his face as he thought of the best way to tell her about Alexandra and Steph. There was no easy way out...he just had to flat out tell her. He scooted closer to her and took her hand in his as his eyes met hers. "God this is hard..." he said as he looked down for a brief moment. "Zander what is it...what's wrong?" she asked as she took her hand and raised his head. Their eyes met and he took a deep cleansing breath. "Okay...here it goes..There is something I need to tell you. And I need you to just listen to what I have to say..." he said as he caressed her hand. Zander's voice and mannerisms were now scaring her..she didn't know where this was coming from..but she didn't like it already.

"A few years before I came to Port Charles...I was living in Florida with my parents. My sister had died and things were falling apart. My life was falling apart. I had lost my best friend when I lost my sister and my family was taking the death hard. I was 16, a sophomore in high school...playing football and just trying to be 16. I started dating the most popular girl who was also a cheerleader for the JV squad." he said as he noticed Emily listening intently to every word. "We dated through till graduation and things got very serious...with the two of us. By this time I was dabbling in alot of things...most of them illegal. She stood by me and wanted so badly for us to be together. As I said it was a serious relationship....serious enough that graduation night we slept together..." he said as he saw her eye well with tears. Not knowing what the tears meant...just that her eyes told the pain she was feeling at the moment he said that. With that said...Emily rose from her seat and walked to the other side of the room as if to distance herself from him. This is not what he wanted...with that one statement...he hurt her so much...this is not what he intended. He knew she was upset, disappointed, confused and angry with him..he knew it..her tears spoke her true feelings as they streamed down her soft skin.

He followed her and tried to comfort her by reaching for her, and she shrugged him off. "Emily, please..let me finish..." he said as she turned and looked him in the eyes. He knew that she was upset but he needed to tell her the whole story. "Go..on.." she replied as she wiped her tears from her face. "At that moment, I knew that I was in love with Steph...I just knew it. There was no turning back...and she loved me. A few short months later, Steph told me she was pregnant." He was trying so hard not to bring more pain, but the more the story revealed the more upset Emily got. Telling her that Steph had become pregnant, Emily tried even harder to distance herself from him....he was losing her right before his eyes...he continued with the tale. "Emily, we were eighteen...we didn't plan for this child...I was in deep with a dangerous crowd...I had no choice.." he said as she turned and glared at him full of hurt and sadness. "No choice...what no choice?" she questioned. "After the baby was born, the people who I was in deep to, threatened their lives...Emily, I left Florida to protect them. If I didn't, they would of been in more danger and they could of lost their lives." he said in desperation. "So, let me get this straight...You being 18 got a girl pregnant and after the baby was born, you left them and ran because you had no choice..?" she inquired as the sadness became anger.

"I ran as far as I could, hell I ran as far as Canada to get away from my life in Florida. I called Steph and asked for her and Alexandra to join me...but she was not the same person that I left there. She had moved back with her multi-millionaire family and they now had the say in her life. She didn't want to leave her lifestyle to be with the man she supposedly loved. I asked her point blank if she would give me a chance to see Alex..and she blatantly said no. Emily, she kept me from my child. She had no inclination of letting me see my child....my child!" he replied as he felt the anger return. The anger he felt when he heard Steph speak those words to him over the telephone the day he called to ask her to see Alex. "I had so desperately wanted to have her and my child with me...I wanted to be a family. But she turned her back on me when I made every effort to face the responsibilities of raising a child. I certainly couldn't blame her...but for a long time I did. I had done the same thing to her, when I ran away from the situation. My life was catching up with me, Emily....it was either leave or allow them to be hurt..I had no way of protecting them against the people I was involved with. I had no choice but to leave them. Emily, I swear...God, I had no choice but to do what I did." he said as he collapsed on the sofa hoping that she would understand.

There was a few moments of silence as Emily wiped her tears from her face and gathered her thoughts. She was certainly upset with what she had just heard from her husband. How could she forgive him for this...he lied to her...and how does she know that he had no choice. She wasn't there...she don't know. Maybe he didn't have a choice...he didn't have a choice with Sorel..it was either play the game or die. Zander sat across from her as he notice her look down at the folder on the coffee table. He closed his eyes for a brief moment and sighed. He leaned over and held his head in his hands as he heard her open the folder and flip through the photographs. "Is this her...is this your baby?" she asked as she held up a photo of Alexandra who was now three years old. Zander looked up and saw his child staring him in the face. "Yes, that's my child.." he replied as he was overcome with the guilt of leaving behind his beautiful baby. "She looks just like you..ya know.." Emily said with a grin. With that said, he knew the worst was over.

He rose from his seat and walked over and sat next to his wife as they looked through the photographs together. "Emily...I am sorry." he said as he took her hand. "I know...but this is not over...is it?" she replied as she looked at him. "No..it's not. Steph sent these photos to Alexis...she sent a letter along with them...and..uh, well.." he hesitated in telling her what the letter entailed. "What does she want from you, Zander..?" she asked as he felt her grip tighten. "She wants me...she wants us to be a family...me, her and Alex..." he said reluctantly. "Well, she can't have you...and your right it's not over...not over by a long shot.." Emily replied as she got up and started to pace...she got angry with the statement he just made. Zander was taken back with what she said...he had never seen this side of her before. She was angry at the thought of another women coming between them. She was angry at the thought of Steph thinking that she could walk back into his life and take him away from her. He knew she was determined..but this was beyond determined. "Emily, would you calm down....the baby...no stress remember." he said concerned for her. "Yeah, yeah..." she replied as she was biting her lower lip in frustration.

This conversation had gone from disappointment to sadness, to hurt and now to anger. He knew Emily had it in her to protect what was hers...he just never saw it before. Emily paced back and forth as the phone rang. Zander reached for the phone to answer it...."Hello.." he said as he picked up the receiver. "Alex...?" the voice said on the other end. He hadn't heard that name in three years...he was taken back when he recognized the voice. He took a deep breath as he noticed Emily staring him down cause she knew who was on the other end of the line. "Is that her..?!" Emily inquired forcefully as she approached him. He hesitated a moment..."Is that her?!" she asked again as she raised voice another octave. Okay..now he had a problem...his ticked off wife on one end and his ex on the other..now what?..."Emily, please calm down...and yes it's her.." he replied as he tried to comfort her as she sat down next to him. "Okay..I'm calm..see...calm..." Emily replied with a smirk. "Alex..you there.." Steph asked as she heard the commotion on his end. "Uh, yeah..I'm here." he replied as he kept his eye on Emily's emotional state. "Did you get the package..?" she asked. "Yeah I got the package.." he replied as he noticed Emily's blood pressure was rising with every word that was said. "She looks just like you, ya know.." Steph replied as she hinted to their daughter. "So, I've been told.." he said with a smirk. "Alex..." she began. "Steph, please don't call me that..I haven't been called Alex in three years..." he replied beginning to get p-turbed at the thought of being called his rightful name. "Okay...what than.." she questioned. "Zander..it's Zander now.." he said as he saw Emily mocking the ex under her breath. Emily sat next to her husband with an attitude and was trying really hard not to grab the receiver and tell the ex where to go..cause she really wanted too. It took everything she had not to interfere with this..but she wanted to so badly...just once..that was all she asked for.

"So, how are you..?" Steph inquired. "I'm fine...and how's Alex?" he asked as he picked up a photo of her from the table. "She misses her daddy...she would love to see you.." Steph said as Zander heard his little girl in the background. It was the first time in a long time he had heard Alex...and the first time he heard Alex ask for her daddy. Him..he was her daddy. Zander was over come with emotion as he listened to his child call him daddy. Even though he had not seen her in a long time, he loved her with all his heart. He missed her terribly and wanted so badly to see her. Emily noticed a stray tear trickle down from the corner of his eye as she felt his pain of being away from his child. She couldn't have him separated from her any longer. It had been long enough. "I miss her too.." he whispered as his eyes filled with tears. "You have no idea how much I wanted to hear her say those words.." he added as he ran his hand through his hair. "Ya know, I can be in Port Charles by morning...if you want to see her..." Steph said as Zander wanted so badly to jump at the chance to see his child. "Hold that thought.." he replied to her inquiry. He knew before he said yes, he had to ask if Emily could handle seeing his daughter and Steph. "Em..are you okay with this...I mean if Steph bring Alex to see me...will it be okay with you." he asked as he turned to his wife. "Zander, I am not going to stand in your way to see your daughter...you have the right to see her and I can handle it...we've been through alot together...we can overcome this too." she replied as she swiped a stray tear from his cheek. "You need to see your daughter..." she added as she rose from her seat.

"Steph...I'll make the arrangements for tomorrow morning...I'll have someone waiting for you to bring you back to Port Charles." Zander said as he made a mental note to call Sonny. "Airport...which airport?" he asked. "Dulles...Dulles International" she replied puzzled at his intentions. "Alex..sorry..habit..how are .." she began. "Don't worry about a thing now..I'm telling you let me handle this...just be at the Dulles airport tomorrow morning at 10am sharp. I'll make sure you are flown here to Port Charles." Zander said as he started to get nervous about seeing them again. "Alright...I trust you...we'll be there.." she replied as she was getting excited about seeing her first love again after all this time apart.

"Steph, I think I should tell you what has been happening since I left Florida...before you get here tomorrow." Zander said as he looked at his wife who was standing at the window overlooking the bay. "Ya know what..Alex needs to take her nap now...you can tell me all about it when we get there tomorrow." she quickly replied. "Okay...tomorrow than.." he replied. "Bye...daddy.." Alex said as Steph held the phone to her ear. Trying to hold back his tears...Zander replied.."Bye, sweetheart..daddy loves you..." "Love you too...daddy.." With those soft spoken words from his daughter he hung up the phone and broke down in tears.

Chapter 14