chapter17
Chapter 17

Visiting hours were over and the nurses had to shoo Zander home for the night...Emily needed her rest and he could certainly come back in the morning to see her and his son. Before he left though, he and Emily needed to sign the birth certificate and think of a name for their new born son. They hadn't really thought about it with every thing else going on in their lives. So they put their heads together and finally decided on a name they both agreed on...Dante Alexander Smith. Once the decision had been made Zander decided to go home for much needed rest. He had been there all day with Emily and was exhausted. He gave her a kiss goodnight and he headed out the door to go home. But before he left the hospital he quickly turned the corner to visit his son one last time before he went home.

He made his way down the hall to the nursery where there were 6 newborns sleeping peacefully. The attending nurse noticed him at the plate-glass window peering in on his son who was sleeping in the second row third from the left. He noticed the name tag on the glass basket was still "Smith Baby" and assumed it would be changed sometime tomorrow. As he stood admiring his son, Monica came up behind him and stood next to him. "You working late?" he asked as she still wore her white overcoat. "Yeah...I had to emergency surgery earlier and I just hadn't got the chance to get outta here yet." she replied with a grin. "You heading home..." she asked as she too was glaring at her grand-child through the glass. "Yeah, they finally kicked me out...besides Emily needs her rest." he replied with a grin. "Did the two of you finally decide on a name yet?" she asked. "Yeah, we just finished the paperwork up a few moments ago..." he replied without hinting to the name of her grand-child. "Well. are ya gonna tell me or am I gonna have to guess..." she replied jokingly. "Oh..you mean his name. Well, we thought about many names but we couldn't agree on any of them..except for one...Dante Alexander Smith." he replied as a smile came over her face. "I like it..it suits him, ya know." she replied. "We thought so..." he replied as he stared through the glass at him sleeping. Zander couldn't believe the civil conversation he was holding with his mother-in-law...the same mother-in-law who wanted so badly for his sorry butt back in jail and away from her daughter only a short few months ago. "Zander...thank-you.." she said they just stood at the window and admired Dante. "For what..." he asked as he looked at her puzzled. "For giving me a grandson and for taking good care of Emily. We were so wrong in the beginning and I for one would like to apologize for my behavior. We were only trying to protect Emily." she said as her eyes became moist with a tear. "Dr. Quartermaine...I completely understand and I am glad that Emily has you now...she needs her family so much right now...she loves you unconditionally." he replied as he noticed Alan coming down the hall with a purpose. "Monica..what are you still doing here?.." he asked as he came upon them talking. "I stopped by to see my grandson before I went home...what are you still doing here?" she replied. "Oh...I had paperwork to catch up on..." he replied with a smirk. "Yeah, I'm sure...you are here for the same reason I am..." she replied. "Okay..you got me...I just couldn't stay away from him for very long.." he replied as Zander listened to their little discussion. "Zander..." Alan said as he looked at his son-in-law standing next to him. "Dr. Quartermaine..." he replied as he turned and looked at him. "I guess I should tell you too...that Emily and I filled out the birth certificate and named him now." Zander began. "Well, good a perfect baby like that deserves a name..." Alan remarked. "Yeah, well we couldn't decide on something that we both liked...except for Dante Alexander. So we decided on Dante.." Zander replied with a grin. "It suits him..." Alan replied as he looked across the babies in the nursery to find his grandson. "Well...I better get out of here before the nurses down the hall have me physically removed..." he said jokingly as he began to turn and walk away. "I'm sure you will be back in the morning?" Monica asked as he stopped and looked at her once again. "I will...they wouldn't be able to keep me away." he replied and with that said he made his way down the hall and headed for the elevator. "Maybe we should be heading home too..it's getting late." Alan said as he placed his hands on Monica's shoulders. "Yeah..I think it is time to go home...it's been a long day for everyone." she replied as they turned and walked down the corridor.

Zander took the elevator down to the lobby and searched for Antonio who had been waiting for him. He found him sitting in the lounge and finally made eye contact with him. As they drove home, Zander could only think about the day he and Emily would bring their son home. He wanted everything to be perfect for Emily. Monica had let him in on the surprise baby shower that was on the back burner because Emily delivered 3 weeks early. No one had expected she would go early...everyone thought she would deliver late so they planned for the shower this coming weekend.

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Antonio pulled the car up to the front of the PC Towers and Zander than stepped out of the car onto the sidewalk where the doorman opened the door for him...he smiled with a "Good Evening, sir" as Zander passed him by. Zander made his way up to the apartment via the elevator as he noticed when it stopped and the doors opened the one one person he would of never guessed was staying at his door. "Steph...what are you doing here.." he inquired as he stepped off the elevator and headed towards the apartment. "I came to see you..but no one was home.." she replied as she stepped aside form him to unlock the door. "Where have you been..." she asked as they entered the apartment. "Emily had the baby this morning, so I've been at the hospital all day....and now I would just like to relax and get some rest." he replied as he threw his keys down on the table by the door. "Well then I guess congratulations are in order..." she replied as she stood in the foyer of the apartment. "Well, thank you...now what did you want to see me about..." he asked as he went into the kitchen and took a bottle of beer out of the refrigerator. Zander was not one to drink, but he deserved this one...it had been a long day and he needed something stronger than coffee at the moment. He made his way over towards the sofa as he opened the bottle and took a drink he so desperately needed. He fell into the sofa and propped his feet up on the end of the coffee table. "May I..." Steph asked as she came upon him and asked him to sit down. "Sure..." he replied as he leaned his head back against the cushion of the sofa.

"We gotta talk about this Alex..." she said as she leaned forward and rested her arms on the top of her legs. "Steph...talk about what...there's nothing to talk about.." he replied as he was getting agitated by the question she had been asking for the last two days she's been in town. "Alex...we have to talk about us..." she said as she watched his mood swing into high gear right before her eyes. Zander knew the only way to get through to her would be a straight forward answer. So he borrowed a page from Sonny's book and really went off on her. "Look...there is NO us...not anymore..." he replied as his head began to pound because of his rising blood pressure. "Granted you are the mother of my child and I will take full responsibility for Alex...but there is NO more us..." he replied forcefully. Steph didn't know what to say...she never seen this side of him before. He had always been so kind-hearted around her and very generous with his feelings. "Alex...what about the other day in the park..." she inquired. "What about it...it was my mistake and I should of pulled back when I had the chance." he remarked as he rose from his seat with his bottle in hand. "Alex...you don't seriously mean that...I felt your passion...you still have feelings for me and I know you do..cause I have them too.." she replied as she too stood up and walked towards him. He tried to put distance between them as he said.."Don't..I am in love with my wife and we are the happiest we have been in a long time...and nothing or no one is going to ruin it for us..." "Well, I'm glad you are so damn happy...but what about me..what about Alex.." she replied as she grabbed him by the arm and turned him to her. "Damn it..Alex...answer me what about me and Alex...where do we fit in to your new life.." "Have you always been this damn selfish?...Sure you have what the hell am I talking about..cause it was you who kept my child from me the first time...oh that's right...you moved back with mommy and daddy, along with the large bank roll that came with it..and then you turned me down flat when I wanted to take responsibility for Alex. And why was that...didn't I have enough money to keep you happy..oh yeah I forgot you were pretty high maintenance back then..." he replied with sarcasm. "That was uncalled for..and you know it..." she replied in anger.

"Steph, there are many things that you do not know about my life now..and like I said I'd rather not discuss it with you. The less you know the better." he replied. "What the hell does that mean?!..." she asked as she raised her voice to him and she was now getting upset with him by evading the question. "Look..I'm sorry but I can't tell you anything else..." he replied as he pulled his arm back from her. "That's your answer..you can't tell me...as always...you can never tell me anything..." she replied as he walked away from her. "You know what...I don't have to explain anything to you anymore...your not my mother, your not my girlfriend and you certainly are not my wife!" he shouted as he headed to the kitchen for another beer. "You know something your right..I'm not any of those things...but I am the mother of your child and damn it I have the right to know what is going on...and why you are evading my questions!" she shouted right back at him. Zander closed the refrigerator door and walked back into the living room area where she still was standing.

"Okay...you wanna know what's going on right now in my life...ya gotta a couple of hours for me to tell you. I don't want to get you involved in this. There are too many people who I care about already involved and I have to keep them protected at all times..." he replied as he began to calm down a little bit. "Protect them from what?!" she replied with her voiced raised. "Damn it...Steph don't push me on this...you are better off not knowing..." he replied as he sat down on the sofa once again. "Man..Alex...would you just tell me instead of pussy footin' around the subject." she replied as she sat down next to him. "Just drop it..would ya?!" he replied as he became agitated by her questions. "Alright...I'll drop it..for now." she replied as she placed her hand on softly on his leg. "Not for now..always.." he replied as he placed his hand on hers.

He didn't want to go there with her...it was over and she needed to accept this for the two of them to move on. He had Emily and his new baby boy, Dante. He had a family of his own now...he moved on..why couldn't she. "Alex...where do we fit in your life now...?" she asked once again hoping he would evade the question this time. Steph...I don't know...and I really hate to let you hanging like this...but I don't know. My lifestyle is a dangerous one and I do not want to bring Alex into it...I can't protect her the way I can Emily and Dante. I really hate to say this but the sooner you leave Port Charles the better." he replied. "You really mean that don't you..." she questioned. "Yes I do...it is not safe for you and Alex to be here..." he replied. "And it's not that I don't want to be a father to Alex...cause I do...I really do. But I can't take the risk of someone else being in danger because of me." he replied as he noticed she was taken back by what she heard.

"Okay...so you're gonna push us away because why?...because you love us? Alex that doesn't make any sense..." she questioned. "Steph it doesn't have to make sense...it is just the way things are in my life right now. It doesn't mean I don't love Alex any less or that I don't want her to be with me..I just want to keep her safe. And the only way to do that is send the two of you back to Virginia...and don't fight me on this...the decision has already been made." he replied as he noticed her eyes moisten with tears. "Alex..I don't know what I will do without you in my life..." she whispered in a whimper. "Don't do this to me Steph. You know that I hate it when you do that...." he replied as he cupped her face in his hands. "Alex..I need you..your daughter needs you...." she said pleading with him. "Steph...please. I don't want to have this conversation with you..." he replied as he realized the conversation just turned on him. She was now playing her cards and he didn't want to play this game with her. Every time he played...he lost and they usually ended up in bed together. She knew exactly what she was doing and he fell for it hook, line and sinker. He had a soft spot in his heart for her and she knew it. She played the card every time she wasn't getting what she wanted from him. She did it when they first met and she was doing it now.

"Steph...don't play this game with me...I'm not a participant in this anymore." he replied as he tried to distance himself from her. "Alex...look..we need you..doesn't that mean anything to you." she asked as he went to the refrigerator for another beer...it looked to be a long night. "Steph..Emily and Dante need me too. What do you want me to do?...I can't be in two places at the same time..and I am not..I repeat I am not leaving Port Charles and my family." he said forcefully. "Alex...I'm not asking you to leave Port Charles and come back with us..." she replied as he looked at her with a look of "yeah right"..."Okay..maybe I am..but Alex..we love you too and we want you to be a part of our lives..how can you do that if you live here?" she admitted to him. "Steph..look I can't say this any plainer than this...I am not leaving my family..I have waited way too long to finally have what I want and to be happy with those I love more than life itself. Emily and I have been through hell and back...and now she has given me a precious gift....my son." he replied as he tried to let her down the easiest way possible. "A son...?" she questioned as she stood in amazement. "Yes..Steph..I have a son, he was born this afternoon and his name is Dante Alexander. I have a wife who I love with all my heart and soul and who has been with me through everything and she loves me with every part of her being. Do you understand now why I can not do what you want me to do?" he replied as he finally got a chance to open the bottle of beer he had been holding.

"Yes I do understand but ya know you seem to forget that I am the mother of your child too and there is a little girl who needs you and loves you...and her name is Alexandra. I love her with all of my heart and would do anything to protect her.." she began.."What and I don't!...I have loved her since the day she was conceived and I would do everything in power to protect her..and you know that!" Zander replied with anger towards her for even thinking such a thing. "Oh yeah, protected her by what running..that was smart Alex...really smart." she replied as she knew what she said and said it on purpose. "Okay, I see we want to drudge up the past..so let's drudge it up...do you have any idea why I ran and kept on running? or has it completely slipped your mind that your lives were threatened and almost taken from me.." he replied as the memories of that day ran through his mind. "And what was your reason for keeping me away from her when I wanted so desperately to see her...?" he asked as he took a sip of the beer he was holding. No wonder he left Florida and Steph..he had three beer since he got home and he hasn't done that since they lived together three years ago. "Cause of your stupidity...you certainly didn't make smart choices back than Alex..." she replied as she started to cop the attitude she was known for. "Don't even start your attitude with me..cause it ain't gonna work. I know you Steph..and I know how you operate this little game and I told you I am not playing this with you. I have made my intentions perfectly clear with you...there is no more us. I will be there for Alex and for you if you need anything...call me. I'd be more than willing to do what I can and to be there if you need me." he replied as she stood and listened intently to every word he said. "Okay, now you answer me this..and I want the truth...the God's honest truth from you Alex..." she began. "Ask.. what do you want to know.." "Do you still love me..Alex?" she inquired as he set the bottle on the coffee table next to him. "Steph...that's a loaded question and you know it...but I will answer it because you deserve the answer.." Zander thought a moment before he answered the question because he certainly had feelings for her...she was his first everything. "The truth..yes..I guess I do still love you..but not in the way you want me to, Steph. I am in love and completely committed to Emily...I love you for the fact you gave me Alex and I love you for being my first..hell my first everything...but that's it." he replied "I will always remember the good times we had, and our life together, but things have changed..I have changed." he added. Hearing those words from him, Steph couldn't help but come to realize it was over...there was no going back to what they once were. He was right..he has changed..she has changed...they would always have memories of their past together and what a past it was, but there was no future for them to share. It was obvious he loved his wife and new born son...and it was obvious he loved Alex just as much. In that moment, Steph realized that she needed to move on without him. She always knew that Alex would find someone else and there would come a day when she would have to let go...and it looks like the day has finally come. To let him go and to let go of the past.

"Okay Alex...you win..." she said as she threw her hands in the air in disgust. "We'll go back to Virginia..since it is what you want us to do." she added. "Steph, it's not that I want you to...but you have to. I need you to go back, and I can't have my past running about the streets of Port Charles...I just can't. I think it would be to painful for the both us if that happened. "Don't trust yourself..." she inquired. "No...I don't trust you." he replied. "Me...why don't you trust me?" she asked as he took a seat on the sofa and propped up his feet on the ottoman. "Steph, I don't trust you as far as I can throw you...especially when it comes to me." he replied as he raised his left brow. "You know it might work...." she began. "What might work..and I hope you are not thinking what I think you're thinking..tell me you're not.." he replied as he was thinking she and Alex would move here to Port Charles. "It's a nice little town, Port Charles. Alex would love it here." she continued. "Steph, you can not be serious!" he stated as he dropped his feet from the ottoman and sat straight up at her comment. "Why not...Alex would be close to you and.." she began as he cut off her thought. "And so would you...." he said as he finished her thought. "No, it ain't gonna happen...the two of you are going back to Virginia and that's it. Now..I came home to relax and I would like to do that now." he added.

She took that as a hint he no longer wanted to discuss this and knew that was her cue to leave. She glared at him as he laid back into the sofa and rested his head on the back of the cushion. "Alex..." she began. "Yes, Steph.." he replied exhausted from arguing with her and just plain tired from the day he had. "I'll bring Alex by to say good-bye before we leave...okay." she said as she wiped the stray tear from her eye. "I'll be at the hospital tomorrow visiting Emily and the baby, and I'm not sure what time I'll get back..." he replied. "Okay...well, maybe you could stop by at the hotel to say the good-byes?" she asked as she drew closer to him. "Fine...I'll stop by tomorrow morning on the way to the hospital..." he replied as he closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Till tomorrow than..." she said as she started towards the door. "Till tomorrow..." he replied as he waited for the sound of the door closing behind her. There was silence as she stood for a brief moment before she left the apartment. He turned as he heard the door close behind her and just rolled his eyes at what had just taken place.

"That woman is gonna be the death of me yet." he thought to himself as he started up the stairs to the bedroom.

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Emily had been moved to a private room on the maternity floor so she had a much quieter room than before...babies cryin', women screamin' bloody murder every half hour...she couldn't get any sleep. The nurses were in to check on her every hour on the hour and had only brought Dante a few time during the night for feedings. She missed him so much and he was just down the hall. She had enough strength to get out of bed and make her way to the door to her room. She put on her robe and slippers and opened the door and peered down the hall. There were nurses at the nurses station and doctors walking the hall as she took one step outside the door. She made her way down the hall towards the nursery and noticed a couple standing at the plate-glass window admiring the babies too. She came upon them and they smiled as she stood next to them. She noticed one of the mothers nursing her newborn as she sat in the rocker across the room. She couldn't wait to take Dante home...if she could she'd be home already. She hated hospitals...she had way to many bad memories of being in the hospital, she hoped this one good memory would take the place of all the bad ones.

One of the nurses noticed Emily standing outside the nursery and came to the door. "Can't sleep..." she asked as she met her outside the door. "No..I wish I could, but since I can't I thought I would come down and see my baby..." she replied. It was strange to say that.."her baby..Zander's baby...their baby.." it was something she needed to get used to. "I see...and which one is your's...." the nurse asked as she glanced into the nursery. "Uh..." she began as she scanned the babies in search for Dante. "The last row...third from the left...the "Smith Baby"..." she added. "He's precious...would you like to spend some time with him..." the nurse asked as she reached for the door to the nursery. "May I...but he looks so peaceful..I'd hate to disturb him..." Emily replied as she glanced in on him. "He won't be for long..it's time for his feeding again...come on.." the nurse replied as she opened the door and stepped inside. Emily followed her quietly as she made her way towards Dante. The nurse had walked back towards the cabinets where they kept the formula and began to make another batch. Emily was hesitant to pick him up and the nurse had glanced back and noticed it. "It's okay...go ahead.." she said as Emily looked up at her. With her okay, Emily reached in and picked him up and cradled him in her arms. She noticed he gave a little yawn as if to say that she was disturbing his peaceful sleep. They had him so bundled up in a blue blanket she couldn't find his little arms, but she knew they were in there somewhere...she had counted every little finger and every little toe when he was born, she knew he was just the most perfect baby she had every seen. She was holding in her arms the most precious gift...her and Zander's future.

The nurse had finished make the bottle and she showed Emily the rocker where she could sit and feed Dante. Emily took her seat in the rocker as he yawned once again. As she got comfortable, the nurse handed her the bottle and draped a white cotton cloth over her shoulder. "Here you'll need this.." she said as she did so. Emily sat and rocked her son as the nurse showed her how to feed him. She did as instructed as Dante's mouth started to suckle on the nipple of the little bottle she was holding. "Boy...he is hungry..." Emily replied as Dante was taking to the bottle so well. "It's been about two hours since his last feeding..." the nurse said as she stood admiring the bonding of mother and son that was taking place before her eyes. "You are a natural..." she added. "Thanks...I hope so.." Emily replied as she glanced at the nurse standing next to her. "First one..." she asked. "Yeah...." Emily replied as her eyes never left the sight of her son.

Emily sat and rocked her little boy as she noticed he had already drank down his limit. She placed the bottle on the cabinet next to her and moved him gently from the cradle position to her shoulder and started to pat his back gently. The nurse had noticed it didn't take long for Emily to catch on as she went to see how much he was drinking so she make a note of it on his chart. Emily had patted until she heard the little gurgle from him and cradled him once again as the nurse came over and picked up his bottle. "He's doing really good...1/2 ounce is good...but he should get a full ounce..so try to give him a little more. Sometimes he doesn't take the full ounce, but he'll be hungry later..." she said with a smile as she handed Emily the bottle back. Emily tried once again to start him taking the other 1/2 ounce. He quickly attached his mouth to the soft nipple again and started suckling the formula. She continued to rock him back and forth as she noticed his features. He had black hair like his daddy, not alot...just enough. And he had Zander's eyes...the eyes that she was sure would get her everytime she looked at him. She was such a softy for Zander's eyes and now his son had them...she knew right than that she was going to have a hard time saying no to him. He had the cutest little nose and his little mouth really knew how to pack it away already...just like his daddy. She had heard the lungs he had when he was born only a few short hours ago, which she and Zander knew came from the Quartermaine side of the family.

She sat quite a while with her son as she noticed the clock that hung on the wall across the room. The nurse didn't seem to mind she was spending so much time with him and she wasn't the least bit anxious to give him back to her. She enjoyed every minute she spent with him and she didn't want to give him back to the nurse on duty. She noticed the nurse approaching and she sighed at the thought of giving him back to her. "Well..Emily..It's Emily right?" the nurse asked as she approached. "Yeah..it's Emily..." Emily replied as she looked up at her. "It's coming up on seven o'clock...and almost time for his feeding again. Why don't we have you take him back to his room and you can feed him there." she replied. Emily made a moved to give Dante back to her as the nurse stopped her..."No..you can keep him...I'll follow you with his bassinet to your room." she replied. "Oh..okay..." Emily replied as she took the cotton cloth off her should and held Dante close as she rose from the rocker. She walked towards the door and glanced behind her as the nurse on duty took two more bottles out of the refrig and heated them before she followed. The nurse noticed she was waiting for her and motioned that Emily didn't have to wait for her..."I'll be right behind you...I gotta warm the bottles first..." she said as she put them in the warmer.

Emily made her way back to her room with Dante in her arms. She had glanced up a few times to see where she was going but she had her eyes fixated on the child she was carrying. As she walked with him, she noticed he was making these little noises with his mouth as if to tell her he was hungry. She thought it was adorable the way he knew how to tell her what he wanted. She stood outside the door of her room and looked down the hall towards the nurses station. She noticed her mother stepping off the elevator as she reached to push open the door. Monica noticed her too as she stood for a brief moment wondering if she should disturb this time Emily spent with her son.

Emily turned and entered her room and before the door closed, Monica stood in the door way. "Do you mind if I come in.." she asked as Emily took a seat in the rocker near the window. "No..I don't mind...as soon as the nurse get's here I'm gonna feed him..wanna stay and watch." Emily said as she got comfortable in her seat. "Sure...I'll stay ... I'm sure Zander will be here soon though..." her mother replied as she sat on the chair next to her. "I would think so...although he was exhausted last night...so he may have slept in.." she replied as she moved the blanket away from Dante 's face. Emily noticed her mother was eyeing Dante ever since she walked in the door and knew she wanted so badly to hold him. "Would you like to hold him?" Emily asked as she repositioned him so Monica could pick him up. "Oh..yes I would love to hold him..." Monica replied as she stood and leaned down to pick him up out of Emily's arms. Just than there was a knock on the door and it opened just a crack so Emily could see that her father was outside in the hall peering in through the opening. "Come on in dad..." Emily replied as she rocked back and forth. Alan stepped forward and pushed the door open farther and walked into the room as he noticed Monica holding their grand-son in her arms. "Hi sweetheart..." he said as he approached her and kissed Emily on her forehead. "Hi...boy your here early..." she replied as he turned and walked to Monica to take a look at Dante. "Board meeting this morning..and you know these guys like to start early.." he said with a smile. Alan hovered Monica as she stood a few feet from Emily holding Dante as they smiled at Emily and Zander's accomplishment. Emily saw for the first time in a long time her parents so loving and gentle, the parents they once were towards her. Monica looked up at Alan and turned towards him as she handed passed the baby along to him. He took him in his arms and cradled Dante against him as he smiled at the precious little face that looked up at him. Emily knew at that moment their lives had changed for the better now that Dante had brought them together once again.

Chapter 18