Another day another chapter. Keep reviewing kiddies!


Hee-chan entered the fencing hall, the day after the invitation incident. Apparently he'd become rather popular with the kids in school because he did what no other student could... he went to school without brushing his hair. People found this to be something of a trend. And so... other students soon followed Hee-chan's example and came into class with messy, messy hair.

Walking by, his foil was lodged in a student's stomach. The student fell to the floor, clutching his rapidly bleeding stomach. "Mediiiiic..." He said weakly.

Hee-chan looked down at the bleeding boy. "Oops. My bad."

Later, instead of going to horseback lessons, Hee-chan decided he'd rather sneak into the computer room and look up internet porn. "Ahh... nothing like some good old internet porn to brighten your day." He said sounding rather convincing to himself... were others there, they would have thought he was just talking in monotones because it was fun.

Outside...

Reallya jumped in the Barbie mobile. "Jeeves, my party's today! Step on it, I gotta haul ass to the beauty salon so they can figure out something to do with my face!"

"Live to serve..."

Meanwhile...

"La de daaa... killy kill kill!" Dude-o was happily killing more stuff on the water.

Somewhere else...

"You wanna be a stripper, eh?" The club owner said.

The guy with the unibang nodded.

"Well, if you can handle Sweetums, you're in." And with that the club owner snapped his fingers, sending a giant evil dog from Hell after the guy with one bang.

The master of weird hairdos reached out and pet the evil dog, who rolled over onto its back and panted happily. "Nice puppy." He said in a monotone voice.

The club owner was shocked. "You're in! Got any working papers?"

He was handed a piece of paper with The unibanged guys picture on it as well as his resume. "Hmm.. so you've stripped before... Trowa?"

Trowa nodded. "I was a cabana boy too." Ahh memories.

"Lovely."

A girl poked her head out from backstage. She looked an awful lot like Trowa, except she was wearing a lot less and she was obviously a girl. "Golly, that boy is skinny."

Another place...

Katopoo sat on his throw pillows and placed the back of his hand to his forehead. His bracelets jingled as he did so. "Ohhh I'm soooo beautiful." He said lazily, staring off into the mirror. He leaned his head back and fluffed his hair. "Do they even KNOW how beautiful I am?"

Manservant #1: "Yes sir of course sir!"

Katopoo looked annoyed. "What did I tell you to call me?!"

Manservant #1: "Sorry. I mean... Yes PRINCESS!"

Katopoo smiled. "Ahh that's much better!" He sipped his martini. "Now go buy me a Seventeen magazine! I wanna look at prom dresses!"

Manservant #1: "Yes Princess."

Katopoo sighed. "I don't think you're even trying to be a good servant! You didn't even BOW!!!" He whipped a small device out from under one of his cushions. "You don't deserve to serve me anymore! I ask you the simplest of things and you can't even do them properly!" His finger lingered over the switch. "Now... get me my magazine or I will be VERY upset!"

Manservant # 1: "Yes sir!" He bows this time.

The blonde's eye twitched. "What did you call me?"

Manservant # 1: "Oh shit! I mean-"

The manservant spontaneously combusted.

Katopoo grinned cutely. "I told you... it's PRINCESS..." With a bored yawn, he began to file his nails. "It's so hard to find good help these days." He sniffed the air for a second. "Someone clean this mess! He smells like burning rotten sewage!"

And yet somewhere else...

"Why would this kid want so many explosives?" The merc in the truck asked.

Kouhei's patience was wearing thin. Didn't they get it!? JUSTICE NEEDED TO BE FUCKING SERVED HERE! "Don't ask silly questions, onna. I paid you to get me the explosives, not to ask me such trite things."

The mercenary in the truck blinked. "...'onna'? But I'm not a wo-"

"When I want your input, I'll take my pants off and bend over!" Kouhei shouted.

The two mercenaries looked at eachother, then back to Kouhei.

"...What?" Kouhei asked.


And so, skipping past all the borning parts... here's a quick summary: Reallya's party sucked, everyone hates her now, she ran off to look for Hee-chan again and found him on a military base of all places. As it turns out, he was meeting someone he met online in one of the gay cyber rooms. He was pissed, threatened to shoot her, Dude-o showed up, hopped onto Hee-chan's back. As it turned out, he was the one that Hee-chan was supposed to meet. Reallya got pissed off and shot Hee-chan twice and now Dude-o is taking him to the hospital.

Making small talk in the military hospital, Dude-o and Hee-chan got acquainted.

"So, do you like killing shit?"

"Yes."

"Me too! How about femmy looking guys with long hair?"

"You bet."

"I prefer cute guys in spandex myself... so..."

"So..."

"Hee-chan... Do you um... have a boyfriend?"

"Dude-o, I can't be tied down. I need to play the field."

Dude-o pouted. "...well shit."

Their romantic interlude.. if you could even call it that was soon interrupted by a knock at Hee-chan's hospital door.

"Enter." Hee-chan said in his nasal voice.

A woman with funny swirlies in her hair stepped in. "Well hello! I'm Sally Ho!"

"Lucky you." Dude-o pouted, still upset that Hee-chan wasn't looking for a relationship.

Sally Ho smiled. "It's so amazing that you got shot and didn't die... Hee-chan? Are you a super guy?"

Hee-chan blinked. "Why are you rhyming at me?"

Sally Ho shrugged. "Because I can, you silly man."

Dude-o sweatdropped. "Let's bail!" He grabbed a grenade from out of the front of his pants and tossed it at the wall, making it explode. He then grabbed Hee-chan in a very inappropriate place and dragged him out with him.

While jumping out the big hole in the wall, Dude-o finally remembered something... this hospital was on a cliff, so they were falling to their deaths. "Whoops, I think I made a boo-boo." He said sheepishly while Hee-chan prayed his spandex-clad ass off to be killed on impact with the ground below.

Inside the hospital, Fujimiya Ran placed some fresh flowers in his sister's window. "Oh Aya-chan... why oh WHY did this happen to you? Once I get my hands on Takatori... you will finally be avenged."

Aya-chan blinked. She'd been out of her coma for almost a year now. "But aniki, I'm-"

Ran shook his head. "No, it's okay. After you are revived from your coma, I'll take you anywhere you want to go. I'll even go as far as to say I'll take you to the..." Ran took a moment to shudder. "...to the mall."

Aya-chan tilted her head. "But Ran, I-"

"Shh... aniki understands you, imouto. Just sleep this coma off."

Aya-chan was beginning to worry about her older brother's mental health. She was about to attempt to talk some sense into him yet again when she saw two guys plunge past her window. "Oh my..."

Meanwhile, somewhere else:

Trowa walked through the fields in his big ass Goddamn. It was called HeavySchlong. It was called this because it was the only mobile suit ever that was "fully equipped". It recieved it's name from where it's special machine gun was situated- right over the Goddamn's crotch. It was called the "Special Area Machine Gun". As he walked, he remembered his tragic, tragic past...

...diddle doot diddle doot diddle doot...

...fizzzzz....

Okay, I guess now isn't the time for flashbacks, the flashback machine must be broken, maybe in the Endless Waltz re-write, friends.

And so, since the flashback machine was broken, the unibanged one simply thought about ponies... then he ran out of gas... then he became attacked... and then... then he ran out of bullets. Yes, even in the "Special Area Machine Gun".

".......!" Trowa said as he was attacked on all sides. His Goddamn's power reserve had finally cut off by now and the mobile suit simply slumped over, looking like it was bending down to pick something up.

All he could do now was pray for a quick and painless demise.

Then, mobile suits dressed like shriners appeared on the scene, defeating the other mobile suits that were attacking his. The boy with the funny hair blinked. Just what the Hell was going on? Suddenly...

HeavySchlong was hit from behind with something.

Trowa's visible eye went wide.

"KATOPOO-SAMA! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE FLIRTING WITH THAT OTHER PILOT!" A loud voice boomed over a speaker attatched to one of the shriner-suits.

Katopoo pouted and blew a piece of his hair away from his face. "Always out to ruin my fun..." He complained prissily before releasing HeavySchlong's hips and moving around so he wasn't behind it anymore. He stopped his Goddamn infront of HeavySchlong and stepped out onto its balcony. A little blue bird flew and landed on Katopoo's finger. "What a precious birdie..." Katopoo said before raising his hand to make it fly away... but the bird was having none of that. So Katopoo shook his hand wildly. The bird finally gave up and decided to find another place to crap other than Katopoo's finger.

Trowa too removed himself from his Goddamn. Stepping out onto his balcony, he saw the blonde pilot standing mere feet from him.

~~JUST WILD BEAT COMMUNICATION~~

The two boys blinked.

~~AME NI UTARE NA GARA~~

They looked around, trying to pinpoint where exactly the show's theme song was blaring from.

~~IROASANAI ATSUI OMOI~~

~~KARADA JYUU DE TSUTAETAI YO TONIGHT!~~

"Scaryyyy!" Katopoo screamed and ran across his balcony, jumped the distance crossing his and Trowa's, and glomped onto the other boy.

"......" Trowa comforted Katopoo.


END CHAPTER TWO