Starwind and Hawking - Chapter 1: Epigone Starwind and Hawking
By Chustang Sundust

: Chapter 1:
::: Epigone :::

Sean bit his tongue cutely, clutching the pencil in his fist and rubbing the eraser along the paper. The prodigy kid sat beside his prodigy brother, along the small town bench. Overhead, the misty skies were fresh with rain, and he was rushing to finish this. Dark chocolate eyes narrowed in determination, he turned the pencil over and paused, looking back up to Jim. It had only been a few days since Gene had died, and depression had a strong grip over him.
Jim seemed only a hollow shadow of himself lately, and Sean had begun to worry. With a baseball cap to conceal his eyes and face, his blonde hair was streaked dark with rain and tears, disheveled, and he was disturbingly thin with strain and worry. The sole survivor of the original Starwind and Hawking sighed heavily to himself, lying on the bench while he felt the light drizzle fall along his already pale and wet skin. In his darkened and dulled-hearted mind, only a few thoughts lingered there, but those were more than enough. 1) Gene was dead, and it was like they'd been two halves put together, but with one of those essential halves buried in the British moors, the world was spinning on half an axis. 2) He had switched places; it was Hawking taking care of the baby Starwind, not the other way around. 3) He had so much damn pressure on him!
Jim sighed and tilted the cap back to allow his hand to massage his pounding temples. It was way too much, for a simple twelve year old to handle this all. Before, he had at least had help from Gene with money, (even if was extremely little) and he hadn't had to take care of him like… a little kid. He glanced his strained and black-ringed eyes back to Sean, who had grabbed a piece of paper, and was scribbling something on it. Jim didn't care what; it was just quiet, and right now, he needed a lot of it. It had been a long time waiting for Suzuka and Melfina to return with the Outlaw Star, and Aisha with her kids were still browsing the town.
It was like, after that first night, he'd been unable to cry. Jim felt this was a curse, Gene's own intervening, because instead of salty tears, his eyes would just blur and burn red. But that brought another thought to mind. He flickered his sleepy, half-hearted blue eyes up to the sky; trying to imagine the stars his Aniki had loved so much. If Gene was in heaven, if that's were convicted bounty hunters go, Jim began to wonder if he was an angel, and if so, what the expression on his face must be. A small, short-lived smile came across his face, thinking of that. He'd always imagined angels as perfectly behaved, intelligent, and dignified people of high class, and Aniki clearly didn't fit that description. Gene would be chasing after the gals, acting like a fool, and cracking jokes. Not quite an angel.
But, maybe he wasn't up there. Gene had obviously left a lot of himself in Sean, but not all of it. Of course there was Melfina's poetry and eyes, along with her good nature, so if his mini-Aniki wasn't all Gene, where did the rest go? Jim flinched almost at this thought, of his Aniki getting more split up than he was already, from all his friends. The blonde sighed deeply and closed the topic; it was easier for him to get exhausted these days, and thinking about Gene hurt.
Sean finished, nodding happily to himself, and placed the pencil back into the computer case. He looked up at Jim, chocolate brown eyes trying to see him through the tossed blonde hair and the shadow of the hat. The kid looked around the empty streets, seeing no sign of Ehefrau or Suzu and Mel, then back to his brother. He saw that Jim was savoring the silence, and Sean shyly nudged him with his short fingers. "Jim, wake up pretty please…" he said, holding up the note.
The young mechanic prodigy flickered his eyes open, and mumbled, "Yeah. What?"
Sean gave an elated grin and held up the note, saying proudly, "Daddy told me to write a note for him. See? And he says I'm growing up fast, too!"
Jim sighed, realizing just what he meant. Poor kid, he looked like he had been taking it well. Too well, in fact. Sean had been perky and optimistic ever since he had woken up on the ship headed for Earth, brown eyes as bright and curious as ever. It could have crossed as suspicious in his mind, but he knew better than to suspect a kid like him for something. Now it seemed that Sean had cracked up. Jim shook his head softly, looking down. "Sean, you know as well as I that he didn't tell you to write a note," he said, drained, and ignored the offer for the note. "Now quit fooling around, alright? I'm stressed as it is."
A misty wave of disappointment gleamed in his hurt brown eyes, and they darted away from him for a moment, glancing at the ground. But Gene's determination was shining deep in him, and Sean swallowed his hurt and said defiantly, "But he did!"
A pair of cynical, stressed marble blue eyes flashed at him beneath the rim of the cap, and after searching mini-Aniki's face, he sighed. Jim tilted his cap up and said, "Alright, lemme see that note." He accepted the crinkled note, as it dampened from the light drizzle, and began reading. Instantly, his eyes went wide with shock. They darted confusedly around the paper, and then narrowed darkly.
The whole thing had been writing in messy kanji, and it was reminiscing of his Aniki's handwriting, but it was clear Sean had no idea what it said. The kid couldn't read, but it was amazing he could write. Jim took another double take, looking to the redhead's smiling face. "Where did you get this?" he demanded coldly.
"I make it!" he said proudly, giving a beaming smile.
Jim suspiciously burned a dark gaze at him, with the anguish stirring up the most desperate emotions he had in him again. He read over the note again, which said clearly, 'Quit moping, would ya Jim?' and a string burst in his heart. Jim blinked his blue eyes, resisting the burning in his eyes, and said, "Where did you learn this, Sean?"
"Daddy told me how to make the lines, that's all," Sean said simply, with a broad grin still flashing in pride of his work. "I don't know how. He wanted you to have it. Dad's sad you're sad."
Anger like he'd never felt began to boil slowly in him, and the frustration began to break on him. Jim was going insane with all this. His blue eyes narrowed, lipping "No" angrily, and jumped up, throwing the paper back. "Can't you see?!" he screamed, tearing through all the rage.
"See what?" asked Sean timidly, cringing away from his explosive brother. His face was twisted up in fear, and he glanced confused brown eyes around.
"Can't you see?! Can't you see?!" he nearly shrieked, grabbing the kid by his shirt collar. "He's gone and dead! Daddy ain't here, and he'll never be again! You cannot hear him; you just want to because you can't! Everybody wants him back so much they'd die for it and you go and smile! You're not supposed to be happy! Gene is dead! Forever. No happy ending! Get it now?!" He stood breathlessly, with Sean hanging by his collar and clutching weakly at Jim's hands, and his blue eyes were dark with anger and frustration. He blinked suddenly, realizing what he was doing and seeing tears in Sean's eyes, and set the kid back onto the ground. Hawking felt his heart bleeding again, and he fell to his knees, knowing it was hopelessly true.
Jim gasped to regain his breath, and the mini-Aniki pushed the outburst incident out of his mind. Sean reached over and patted his back, ruffling his blonde hair as well. "It's okay," he reassured, wrapping his arms around his neck. "Starwind and Hawking ain't dead."

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Author's Notes:
Wahh! I just got the Goo Goo Dolls cd I wanted so much, I got home and found out my Alanis Morissette cd got screwed up! Man, is it a twisted and weird world or what. Anyway, happy reading…