Elena tried, she really tried, but apparently her deadly skills were so deeply ingrained that she couldn't even keep a stupid flower alive.

Well, not just any old flower. It was the beautiful lily that Tseng had given to her when they went to the church together. Her lilies.

She still didn't know how a simple visit to Aerith's church as part of a retrieval mission and investigation into black market materia had turned into them having sex in a totally inappropriate public place. Someone could have walked in on them. Maybe they both just needed to let off some steam.

Tseng had kissed her hungrily and pushed her against the wall, unbuttoning her pants before gently laying her on the bed of flowers. He towered over her as they removed just the necessary clothes. It was an unexpected turn of events but the best lovemaking they'd had in a long time, the thrill of possibly being caught by a stranger making them all the more eager, their kisses silencing their moans.

In the afterglow, with the sun filtering from the open roof illuminating their joined bodies, Tseng had picked a lily and tucked it behind her ear, gazing at her with what seemed like adoration. She would never forget the way he looked at her, smiling, the sun highlighting his face as he whispered the sweetest 'I love you' before kissing her again.

Elena didn't remove the flower from her hair that day. She didn't remove it when they walked into Healin Lodge, not even when Reno made a comment about why she had one of Aerith's lilies behind her ear, or why their suits both had pollen stains.

When they got back home, Elena put the lily in a small vase on the cabinet in the entrance hall, right where they kept their keys. Its color was so bright, the yellow like a sprinkle of sunshine in their apartment, the delicate scent filling the air. It reminded her of the sweet and loving moment they'd shared, so she tried her best to care for it, she really did.

But apparently killing was easier than keeping something alive.

She did water it. Sometimes. Probably not often enough because, five days later, the flower had withered.

She was waiting for Tseng at the entrance, dressed in her red dress with the zip still open. They had an important appointment awaiting them that evening. The flower was almost dead when Elena laid eyes on it, wondering if it was better to throw everything in the bin instead of looking at another of her failures.

She looked at the lily, at its now dried petals and she remembered the church and the loving moment she'd shared with Tseng.

And who the flower made her think of: Aerith. She didn't know why but the words just tumbled from her mouth.

"Sometimes…" Gaia, she felt like a fool. "Sometimes I wonder how things would have been." She was talking in a low voice and clasped both her hands behind her back looking at the ceiling. "If fate was different, would I be alive? Would Tseng be alive? Would you be alive?" She leaned against the wall with a sad smile, closing her eyes. "There was a time when I thought I was invisible. I always imagined that—"

"Who are you talking to?"

She hadn't heard Tseng approach. She opened her eyes and turned to him. He was dressed in a white shirt and a pair of very elegant black pants, his hair a cascade over his shoulders. Elena drank him in with her eyes, letting them roam as she appreciated his tall, lean body, his arms and waist enhanced by a tight shirt. A tiny, wanton smile curled her lips. He was still barefoot and was buttoning one of his cuffs. "You look absolutely gorgeous."

Tseng raised an eyebrow, looking very unconvinced. He closed the distance between them and gestured to her back with a tilt of his head. "Let me."

Elena turned and she felt his fingers brush against the skin on her back, slowly pulling up the zip of her dress. It was a light, feather-like touch and a shiver ran down her entire spine. "Are we late?"

"Not yet."

"Then how about a quick one?" Her voice was lascivious as she looked at him from the corner of her eye, a wicked little smile on her lips and her eyebrows raised.

Tseng gave her a scowl, stopping halfway with the zip. "We just had one."

"I wouldn't call what we did in the shower a quickie."

"And what would you call that?"

"Washing each other? "

He snorted but didn't reply, giving her a very unamused look while he finished fastening her dress. He patted her shoulders when he was done and Elena adjusted the skirt before turning to him, smiling. She stood on tiptoes and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you."

"Who were you talking to?" he asked again.

He hasn't forgotten. Elena didn't want to tell him that she was daft enough to talk about her feelings to a very inanimate and probably dead flower. A shadow crossed her face at the thought of what she was about to voice out loud.

"The flower," she simply replied. And suddenly she wasn't able to sustain his gaze anymore and lowered her head, using her hands to straighten the non-existent creases in his shirt.

"Talking to flowers is stupid, Elena," he chuckled.

"I know." Her voice was not as steady as she wanted it to be, and she was still pretending to fix his shirt when his hand cupped her cheek, his thumb brushing the corner of her lips.

"Is there something wrong?" His voice was warm and smooth like a caress.

She raised her head with his hand still stroking her lips and cheek, staring into his dark eyes. "Did you let her go?" she asked suddenly.

He furrowed his brow, confused. "Who?"

"Aerith."

"What are you talking about?" He tilted his head, looking even more confused than before.

Elena felt stupid, incredibly stupid. They'd never talked about her in the past few years, and she cursed her stupid big mouth for having brought up the topic at such an inappropriate moment. They were about to enjoy an evening together and she was ruining everything, letting her stupid insecurities get the better of her.

Tseng never talked about Aerith so neither did she. Their recent visit to the church, the flower, had kind of put the thought in her mind again after all this time, though. And she was ashamed of being so worried, as a Turk and as a woman, about a person that was dead and buried. Someone who had given her life to save the planet. Aerith was a Cetra, she was special. The only thing that came to mind when she thought about herself was Elena; a stupid, plain, regular, reckless person.

"You knew her since she was a child and you were a young Turk," she blurted. "And she was beautiful, and kind, and sweet, and Reno once told me that you were in love with her." She was babbling and felt more stupid now than when she was talking to the flower.

Tseng gently moved his fingers over her lips, interrupting her train of thought. She saw him looking at her hair, her face, her mouth, coming to a stop at her eyes. His expression was soft, a sweet smile on his lips that reached his eyes. Gods, his eyes. He was watching her with that disarming expression. The same expression he'd had that day in the church when he whispered that he loved her.

"I never loved Aerith and I never had any romantic interest in her," he said as he gently lowered his head so their foreheads could touch, his voice steady and clear. "Her surveillance was my duty as a Turk and a direct order from Hojo and President Shinra. I would say we were acquaintances but probably not even friends. And I promised Zack I would keep an eye on her."

"Someone once told me that you chose me just to forget Aerith, that you used me to cope with her loss, and I was perfect because I had a weak spot for you. That… you asked me to dinner just to spite her."

Tseng moved away with his lips thinned and his eyes half closed in what looked like disappointment. "Do you think so little of me? Do you really think I would have done something so vile to you?"

She closed her eyes, lowering her head. "No." I've made him angry.

"Asking you out at the Temple of the Ancients was something that required more courage than I like to admit." His voice softened around the edges and he gently tilted her face upward so she could look at him. "Asking you out was the best decision I made in years."

She felt stupid because she knew Tseng wasn't a bad person. He was ruthless, merciless, calculating, stern, demanding in his job, but never vile. He had to do a lot of things for Shinra's benefit, but that didn't mean he had no feelings. Every day she felt lucky and blessed because she could see the man underneath the Turk suit. A good man, someone who cared about people, someone who loved her. Someone who would never have used her for such petty, stupid and selfish reasons.

"Who was spreading this gossip?" he asked. His tone was casual but his jaw was tight and his eyes were two slits: he was not pleased.

"You were in the hospital when I overheard Margaret talking to Barbara. They saw the lilies near your bed, the ones Reno brought, and they started talking about you and a 'love that transcends duty that ended too fast', and how 'people always need to rebound'. They weren't whispering; they wanted me to hear them." She averted her eyes for a moment. "I think they didn't like me and they were resentful that I had a relationship with you. Apparently they knew Aerith from when she was held by Hojo." She shrugged her shoulders. "Reno mentioned your crush when we were in Wutai and you were still healing from Sephiroth's injury."

Tseng was pensive for a moment, then his expression shifted as he curled his lips upward a fraction, smirking. "Margaret was spreading gossip out of jealousy."

Elena looked at him with a half-convinced expression. "Jealousy?"

"I declined her dinner invitations too many times to remember all of them. She tried to catch my interest by cutting her hair like yours. She hates that we're together because you're in the place she wants to be. Once, when I was away for a mission, I found out that she threw away the small chocobo statuette you gifted me as a prank. She is an awful person and I made it very clear that I am not interested in her, more than once."

Elena was mad but the way he emphasized the last few words, obviously annoyed and with a big roll of his eyes, made her laugh softly. He looked at her and echoed with a light chuckle.

"As for Reno…" he continued. "Do you remember when there was a rumor going around about you having an affair with Rufus, back when he was sick with geostigma?"

Elena thinned her lips in a perfect imitation of Tseng's usual deadpan face. "Yes."

She hadn't been in the least bit pleased when she came across that rumor. Taking care of Rufus and doing tasks on his behalf was her job, a job she'd signed up for and that she loved. But loving your job didn't mean you had to love your boss. Well. She looked at Tseng. Not always at least. She still didn't know how or when the gossip had started in the first place. She'd been furious back then because she was already together with Tseng, for quite a while actually, even if they were keeping their liaison discreet and away from prying eyes. She was afraid someone had caught them stealing a kiss or a romantic moment and wanted to ruin their relationship. Thankfully, the rumor had died soon after the Remnants' attack started.

Tseng raised an eyebrow. "I did some digging, and eventually I found out who the culprit was: Reno."

"Reno? " Her eyes snapped wide open.

"In his defense, he confessed that he was drunk and joking with Rude. Apparently there was an ongoing bet about you having a secret affair with me or Rufus, and someone was eavesdropping. That's how the rumor started." He was trying to be serious but his eyes were smiling.

"Rufus is my boss, I can consider him a friend, maybe, but I've never thought about him in that sense." It had been a long time since those rumors were doing the rounds, but it still touched a nerve. "I swear I'm going to kill Reno and his stupid big mouth."

"Do you think he's a reliable source of information about such trivial things?"

"Hell, no."

"Exactly." His voice had lost all trace of humor. His gaze was on her eyes, intense and penetrating, and she knew what he meant: don't believe gossip, especially if it comes from Reno's mouth.

She felt like an idiot for believing it in the first place, especially because Tseng had never really acted in a way that would've suggested there was any truth in the rumors. He cared about her, he was attentive, he always showed how much she meant to him, even with the smallest of gestures. And the first time he said 'I love you', whispering it with the most serious and warm voice as his eyes were seeking hers, uncertain, she knew he'd meant it.

Tseng cupped her face with both his hands, smiling again, before he planted a small, chaste kiss on her lips. He smelled of fresh aftershave, his mouth soft and sweet, and Elena closed her eyes and melted at the contact, throwing her arms around his neck. He let go of her face and embraced her, his strong, calloused hands pulling her close to him.

They stayed like this for a moment, until he broke contact, looking intently at her. There was something shining in his eyes, something warm and delicate. His right hand let go of her waist and touched her necklace, his fingers caressing it until they stopped at the ring hanging from it.

"You are the only one. You were the only one three years ago, you're the only one now." The way he said it, in such a loving and sentimental voice, and the smile that made his eyes wrinkle, made her shiver. "And you promised to be the only one until the end."

Elena felt heat creeping up behind her eyes, happy tears threatening to spill out, and she hugged him so she could hide her face against his chest. He was rarely so straightforward and gods, when he was he managed to disarm her with tenderness every time.

"Shall we go?" he whispered in her ear, brushing his lips against her hair.

"Yeah."

"Are you ready for dinner?"

She extricated herself from him and they smiled at each other. Tseng kissed her forehead before he took his shoes and moved to the kitchen to put them on.

Elena looked again at the almost dead flower, still there on the cabinet.

Four years today. Four years ago Tseng asked her to dinner before Sephiroth attacked him. Not too long after he recovered, when she was visiting him in the hospital, he asked her out again.

Three years ago on this exact same day, he gifted her the ring asking her if she wanted to be with him until death do them part, a silent promise between them.

Each year they went out for dinner on this exact same day to remind themselves that, even when life wasn't going their way, they were more stubborn than fate. That they had found each other in spite of everything that conspired to keep them apart. That they were alive and they were alive together.

She looked at the flower and smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered.