"Captain, I need your expertise on a delicate matter!" After being admitted, Neelix hastily waddled into the ready room, taking his cooking hat off before kneading it as he came to a halt in front of Janeway's desk.
She finished reading her PADD before she glanced upwards. "Yes, what is it, Mister Neelix?"
He wiggled his nose, his whiskers moving about nervously. "It's about the party I have planned for tonight. You know, the one for B'Elanna and Tom and their coming baby…"
She eyed him curiously over the rim of the PADD, anticipating he was probably about to coax some extra replicator rations out of her. "Yes…?!"
"Well, ahh…" He took a deep breath, before spinning his hat a little between his chubby fingers. "…there is a problem, Captain… with Commander Chakotay."
Not surprisingly, he suddenly had Kathryn's full attention, and she placed the report she had been engrossed in onto her desk. "What about Chakotay?"
"Remember that we said we'd try to collect some gift rations for the expecting couple by selling small tasks that crew members can perform for others?"
Kathryn had been surprised by the actually clever ideas the crew had been able to come up with to collect rations. B'Elanna and Tom would be grateful for the donations as their list of still missing baby items was a rather long one and baby Miral was due in only a few short months.
"Neelix, please get to the point."
The Talaxian fiddled a little more with his hat, trying to find the right words to formulate his conundrum.
"Well, uhm… nobody is willing to donate to Chakotay's effort, and I'm not sure how to tell him."
Kathryn nodded in understanding of his situation. She supposed delivering some bad news was better than Neelix begging her for spare rations the ship didn't have. She took a deep breath before she leaned forward onto her desk.
"Fine, I'll tell him. What did he sign up for?"
"The Kissing Booth."
"The Kiss-"
Kathryn's eyes went wide, shocked at the fact that her first officer thought it would be a good idea to kiss crewmen in exchange for rations. Rendered speechless, she only stared at Neelix for a moment, slowly letting the information sink in. Why anyone had thought it was a good idea digging this awkward and embarrassing Academy tradition out of the dusty closet was beyond her.
She inhaled deeply. Chakotay knew what he'd signed up for… but she couldn't possibly tell him that not a single woman aboard this ship was willing to kiss him. Talk about an ego bruise! Neelix's hopeful eyes and grateful smile made her unable to refuse him, however.
In defeat, she clicked her tongue. "Alright. I'll take care of it."
"Thank you so much, Captain." He grinned broadly before he fished a PADD, which contained all the details, out of his apron and placed it onto her desk. He was already halfway to the door as he turned round to his favorite captain one last time. "I hope you'll find the time to join us tonight."
Kathryn forced a smile, nodding absently as she watched him disappear. The second the door swished shut behind him her fingers squeezed the bridge of her nose before she rubbed her temple. There had to be something she could do to avoid making Chakotay face such a stellar disappointment. He was a good—no, gorgeous —looking man, so there had to be a reason as to why nobody had bought tickets for his kissing booth. If she weren't in such a tricky position as Captain and self-imposed friend , she would've probably thrown her rations at him at the chance. She couldn't even begin to fathom why no other woman had.
She glanced at the chronometer – she still had three hours before the party started and Chakotay would be put on display. She craned her neck and stretched her back before she reached for the PADD Neelix had just left behind. She still had plenty of time to find the problem, fix it, and get the kissing booth tickets sold. This was no different to any other problem she was facing on a daily basis.
She rose from her desk, tucking the PADD closer. Time to start investigating.
Deciding to ask Samantha Wildman for hints had turned out rather unhelpful. Kathryn should've known of course that a married woman with a child wouldn't purchase kisses from another man, but in her haste to sort Chakotay's problem, she had quite overlooked that fact. She'd scolded herself internally on her way to engineering, only to remember upon arrival that B'Elanna wouldn't be much help either. Assuming she even knew about the baby shower tonight, she obviously wouldn't snatch up a ticket.
Hindering Tal Celes from running a ship diagnostic in one of the corridors hadn't really brought Kathryn any helpful clues either. The young Bajoran had been quite flustered about being approached on such a subject, stuttering something about her really not being interested in human males. Kathryn was sure that she'd been seen some time ago romantically intertwined with one of the male lower deck Ensigns, but if Tal didn't wish to discuss these types of topics with her Captain, Kathryn couldn't really blame her.
Arlene Fukai claimed to have a boyfriend aboard ship who'd be mad as hell if she'd kissed anyone else. Mariah Henley professed she knew nothing of a party; Jessica Leong couldn't stop for a chit-chat with her captain due to severe back pains; Meri Howard claimed to not find Chakotay attractive whatsoever; and Susan Nicoletti managed to avoid the awkward conversation by hiding underneath a technical station and pulling some cables out, pretending to be exceedingly busy. For the Delanely sisters, Chakotay was far too old, and for Barbara Reen, he was apparently too young.
By the time Kathryn made it into the Mess Hall, news of her quest must have spread like wildfire since all female crew seemed to vanish in every direction possible the moment the Captain entered to investigate. She was fighting against the time and was no closer to a solution than two hours before. Chewing the inside of her lip in frustration, Kathryin stomped to the Astrometrics Lab, determined that Seven of Nine wouldn't escape her clutches.
Upon information that this was a social call on the captain's part rather than ship's business, Seven continued her data analysis of a nearby star cluster, happily tapping away on a console. The question about Chakotay and the kissing booth didn't faze her, but despite her answer that simply nobody wanted to do it, Kathryn continued to pester her.
"Are you telling me that not a single woman on this ship desires Chakotay?"
"Desire is not the problem, Captain."
"Oh no? Then what is?"
Sven looked at her as if it was the most obvious answer. "You."
"Me?" To say Kathryn was surprised would be an understatement. "Why me? I don't follow."
Seven finally turned away from the console and crossed her arms behind her back. "Because no one wishes to offend you, Captain."
Now Kathryn was even more thrown. "I don't—"
"It is the crew's understanding that you chose Chakotay to be your romantic partner, as he has chosen you, and therefore he is rendered off-limits to any other prospect. The crew respects your choice, so nobody wishes to cause a rift between you two by engaging in this activity."
For the first time in a long time, Kathryn was utterly speechless.
She chose Chakotay romantically?! How?
When?
This day was getting better and better. Not.
After a moment of desperate grappling for comprehension, Kathryn finally regained her sense of speech back. "Surely you don't believe that, Seven?"
Seven threw her a look before she turned back to her console. "It has come to my attention that you do seem to be more partial to him than any other crew member; that you value his opinion more than others; that you like to touch him. I have no experience with physical relationships, therefore I rely on the conclusion of those superior in knowledge – who all suggest that you two are involved with one another."
Kathryn took a deep breath, one of her hands landing on her hip while the other had her finger pointing upwards, as if to illustrate her point even further. "Chakotay is my friend. My first officer. Nothing more."
Nonchalant, Seven continued her data input. "If you say so, Captain."
Exasperated, Kathryn threw both hands in the air. This was too much to be believed. Clearly Seven and most of the crew were suffering from delusions. It certainly explained why everyone had avoided her like the plague. Perhaps she should consult the doctor to make sure there was nothing majorly wrong with everyone. She'd never, ever, laid any claim whatsoever on her first officer. Neither professionally nor privately. What nonsense.
"I don't understand what you want from me, Captain." The Doctor was busy filling hypo sprays for future emergencies, fluttering about the room with Kathryn hot on his heels. "Do you want me to kiss the Commander on your behalf?"
That made Kathryn freeze in her tracks. "What? NO—"
"Then what?" He gave her a stern look. "As I told you before, every crew member is in excellent health according to the latest round of check-ups. No delusions, no conjured up fantasies, no brain damage. At least not from a medical point of view."
Kathryn closed her lips before she craned her neck. He was the second biggest gossip aboard this ship, right behind Tom Paris. Surely he must know something . Tentatively she stepped closer to the trolley he currently lobbed all his hypos on. "There must be something you can tell me, Doctor. People don't just make up these things for no reason."
He dropped the spray he was currently holding to take on a thinking pose. "Let me see... From a medical perspective, I can tell you that both of you experience extremely heightened endorphin levels when you interact with one another. More importantly, on a professional note, I can tell you that both you and Commander Chakotay regularly interfere with my work when one of you is in sickbay - and the crew has also noticed."
Agitated, she licked her lips. This couldn't be real. Even the Doc was out of his mind. "We're friends, Doctor. Of course we care for one another when the other is sick or injured. It's natural."
He gave her a mocking look. "Yes, that's why Captain Kirk and Ambassador Spock always disrupted Dr. McCoy's sickbay too."
The reference was lost on her. "What?"
The EMH placed both hands on the trolley, leaning slightly forward. "Captain, unless you've come to take the physical you've been avoiding for the past three months… Please leave. I would like to do my work in peace. Nobody wants headache hypo sprays to be accidentally filled with hormone boosters or vice versa."
Kathryn gritted her teeth, gave him a brief death glare, before turning on her heels and stomping out of sickbay. Yet again, she was tempted to decompile his program.
Defeated, she sat at her ready room desk, tapping the PADD against her finger. Three hours wasted on running around the ship and she wasn't closer to finding a solution to the problem at hand than she had to begin with. The time on her chronometer was ticking the last half hour down much too fast.
40 rations for 20 kisses.
She glanced at the numbers for the umpteenth time before letting out a deep breath.
Why was she even contemplating this? That could be 20 cups of coffee. She's gone without kisses from Chakotay for seven years, but coffee…
Annoyed at herself she threw the PADD onto the surface, brushing a hand over her forehead. Did she really just now weigh her best friend's pride against her need for coffee?
She pressed her eyes shut. There were many things Kathryn Janeway was good at but there were also some she failed at miserably - and being honest with herself was one of them. Pretending coffee was a greater necessity than Chakotay's self-esteem was easier to swallow than admitting to her fear that kissing him would be her ultimate downfall. Seven years of carefully erected parameters and distance between them would be demolished within seconds if she did this. Perhaps the crew had been right in noticing… something between them, but neither of them had acted upon it in the past, and Kathryn was sure that would hold true in the future.
But then again… could she really disappoint him that much? Having no one wanting to kiss you would cause a hell of an injured ego, even if it did have a fairly good, albeit ridiculous, explanation as to why.
She peeked at the PADD again. The cause was a good one. B'Elanna and Tom were going to need all the rations they could get their hands on once the baby arrived. But…
She leaned her elbows against her desk, burying her face in her hands. God, what was she to do? The crew already thought they were… and if she did… point proven. She bit her lips before her fingers traced the edge of the gray metal case, the angry numbers glaring back at her.
40 rations for 20 kisses.
Taking a deep breath, she quickly pressed the 'donate' button before she had time to second guess her decision. The second her fingers retracted she felt the pain of instant regret soar through her. However, she couldn't publicly humiliate him that much. Her conscience wouldn't allow it. Better let him believe she bought them all out of lov-… affection for him, then letting him feel like an unwanted man.
She swallowed hard, praying that she'd live through this without crumbling into an emotional mess.
*BING*
The beeping sound made Tom pick up his PADD. The gang had assembled in the Mess Hall early, enjoying the last bit of quiet before the rest of the crew swarmed the room. A very pregnant B'Elanna was busy eating her fifth dinner of the day, while Harry prattled on about failing once again to convince one of the Delaney's to date him tonight. Chakotay was slowly sipping his tea.
Tom grinned like the cat who's got the cream as he sat up properly in his chair, kicking Harry underneath the table to get him to shut up. The Ensign gave him a curious look, but Tom turned his attention to Chakotay.
"You owe me 50 rations, Chakotay," he exclaimed. At that, both the Commander and B'Elanna looked up.
Chakotay peeked over the rim of his cup, confused. "What?"
Looking extremely smug, the helmsman slightly waved his PADD in the air, waiting for everyone to realize what was happening.
It was Harry who caught on first. "No way, did she..?!"
Tom grinned like a fool, and Chakotay slightly paled, the metal mug spilling over as it half dropped onto the table. He had never believed Tom would actually be able to do it.
"You're joking!" the dark haired man finally exclaimed, briefly glancing at B'Elanna who was equally speechless, before sliding his hand across the table. He wouldn't believe Paris until he saw it for himself. "Gimme that PADD."
Proudly, Tom gave up the PADD, watching the Commander blink rapidly for a few seconds while he stared in astonishment at the screen. Kathryn Janeway had paid to kiss him.
At that thought, he dropped the PADD before he placed a hand over his mouth. This wasn't real. Chakotay looked at each of his friends, before he picked up the PADD again to look at the donation.
Kathryn Janeway had paid to kiss him.
He shook his head, still struggling to cope with what was happening. Six years, five months and twelve days of believing they'd never be more than friends and here she was, paying to kiss him. It was hard to not start hyperventilating at the thought. Not in his wildest dreams had he believed Tom's crazy idea would actually work.
"How did you-?"
"Trade secrets." Tom shook his head, still grinning from ear to ear. Chakotay wouldn't pay him if he knew how easy it had been to get the whole crew to play along. "So… 50 rations plus the 40 she pays you means you owe me 90, Commander."
Chakotay's fingers trembled nervously as he typed the ration transfer into the PADD. It would actually cost him 130 since Kathryn had a habit of exceeding hers and then skillfully convincing him to use his for her coffee. But if she really kissed him after all these years… hell, it was worth all the rations he owned.
"Captain!" Neelix exclaimed loudly as Kathryn, alongside some crewmen, entered the cantina. He briefly glanced over his shoulder, shielding Tom's table from her view while they finished their 'business' transaction, before walking towards her. He clapped his hands together all excitedly as he heard the PADD behind him drop. "I'm so pleased you decided to join us, Captain!"
She plastered a smile on her face as she slowly stepped into the room, desperately hiding the sheer fear she felt cruising through her body.
"Good news, Captain," he began as he placed an arm around her to pull her further into the room. The Talaxian leaned in, as if to tell her a secret. "I don't know what you did, Captain, but our conundrum from earlier got resolved. All of Chakotay's tickets sold at the last minute."
Nervously she kneaded her fingers, nodding as if to confirm his words. Obviously, Neelix hadn't checked yet who'd bought all the tickets. Trepidation was written all over her as her gaze swept over the slowly filling Mess Hall, finding Chakotay casually seated with his friends at a nearby table. This would be so embarrassing and awkward for both of them, but she could do this. No matter how much she was afraid of the consequences, she had to do it. He was too dear to her to let his pride suffer.
As if he felt her hot gaze upon him, he looked up, giving her one of his bright, dimpled smiles as Neelix slowly pushed her closer. She bit her lip, forcefully returning his smile, while her mind began stumbling over a hundred different scenarios of what he might think the moment he found out about this.
"I think it's about time everyone set up their booths!" Neelix exclaimed as he excitedly clapped his hands together before rubbing them fiercely. He grinned at his Captain before moving into the middle of the room, waving to everyone to move closer so he could give his little welcome speech. Uneasy with the attention being shifted to her as the to-be-mother, B'Elanna forced a smile as she wiggled herself past Kathryn, Tom hot on her heels.
Just as Chakotay was about to step up to the forming group too, Kathryn stopped him by placing her hand on his arm. He instantly turned, shifting his body towards her as if he was being pulled-in by a magnet.
"Chakotay," she whispered to draw his attention. He could instantly tell she was nervous as her gaze searched his chest for invisible crumbs, stalling, before she blinked and looked up to him. "I have a confession to make."
"Yes?"
"I…" She began to stutter before she swallowed a painfully big knot in her throat. He raised an eyebrow to encourage her to go on, but then she decided to pull him a few steps away. The last thing she wanted was anyone to overhear her.
"I…" she started again, taking a deep breath. This was much harder than she had anticipated. Absent-mindedly, she began to knead her hands as she battled for the right words. Chakotay watched her silently for a moment, suspecting what tormented her. How could a woman who was so much bigger than life struggle so profoundly when it came to something so simple as expressing feelings? It was beyond him.
"Listen, Kathryn." He placed a comforting hand on her upper arm, drawing her eyes back to his. "If it's nothing majorly important, we can talk about it later. Neelix is about done with his speech, and I really should go and get my kissing booth setup."
"Chak-" She licked her lips, stopping him from moving away by placing her hand fully on his chest. "It's about your kissing booth."
He feigned surprise by pulling up his brows. "Why? What did you do? Don't tell me you've taken it off the list because it violates Starfleet's fraternization policies with subordinates?"
The brief hurt that washed over her face before she schooled herself betrayed that the sting had landed right on target. "No. It's not that."
"It's for a good cause, Kathryn," he began to feign protest.
"I know it is, Chakotay. And I didn't forbid it."
"Then what?"
God, why was she so tongue-tied? She had to snap out of it. She sucked in breath, trying to rush the words out before she had another chance to rethink them.
"I donated."
He silently stared at her.
"For a kiss," she clarified, craning her neck as if that made her look any more self-assured than she felt.
Watching her this far out of her comfort zone, battling her way through uncharted waters, was too endearing for Chakotay to suppress a smug smile any longer. Still, if she already summoned up the courage, he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.
"You bought a kiss?" he repeated, leaning in closer to her.
She rapidly blinked, before looking to the floor to avoid his gaze. Her cheeks began to flush as she mumbled into her chest. "Actually, I bought them all."
Chakotay could hear her well enough, but this was too gratifying to not hear her say it again. "I'm sorry?"
She briefly pressed her eyes shut before she looked up at him, raising her voice slightly. "I said I bought them all. All of the kisses."
"Captain Janeway," he began, loudly enough to cause quite a few heads to turn in their direction. "Are you telling me you purchased all of my kissing booth tickets to make sure no other crewmember got a chance to kiss me?"
The skin on Kathryn's neck began to prickle as she felt the gaze of the entire room settle on her back. The hushed whispers made her head spin. There was no way of escaping the humiliation now.
Given Chakotay's smug expression however, she could tell he, at least, was thoroughly enjoying himself. It didn't make the hole she'd dug herself into any smaller thought. No, quite the contrary.
"Yes," she eventually forced out, already knowing the rumors that would race through Voyager's corridors at warp 9. There was no way of ever convincing the crew now that they didn't have a passionate affair.
Chakotay continued to grin dimple-deep, bathing in the attention he'd gathered so subtly.
"Go on, kiss!" one of the crewmen at the end of the room shouted, adding to Kathryn's misery. She ever so slightly shook her head, hoping Chakotay would take the hint that she didn't want to do this here.
"Do it!" another officer, who she could swear was Lieutenant Ayala, exclaimed. Her cheeks were beginning to glow red, but before she or Chakotay could say anything, a quiet " Kiss. Kiss. Kiss." chant began to ripple through the room, turning louder and louder with each word.
She pressed her eyes shut. None of them would ever let her live this one down.
"I think we ought to give the crew a show!" Chakotay stated, causing her eyes to snap open and glare at him. No way was she doing this here in front of all those people.
However, before she had a moment to protest he pulled her closer, laying a kiss on her that made her head spin. As his lips drew back slightly she thought that she'd survived the experience, but then he came back for more. Much, much more. It was hot and moist, intense and breathtaking. It was a kiss that demanded cooperation, passion, and if he hadn't wrapped his arms around her to keep her steady, Kathryn was sure her legs would've given out.
She was so wrapped up in him that she'd barely noticed the applause and whistles of the crew, the encouraging shouts, until he drew back to gasp for air. The noise within the small mess hall was thundering.
As one of the female staff shouted "You go, Captain!" Kathryn hid her face against his chest in embarrassment. The joyous atmosphere was contagious though, and Kathryn couldn't suppress a giggle. What were they doing? She pressed herself against him, her hand covering her burning hot face as he pulled her even further into his protective embrace.
Even without looking at him she could tell his dimples were on full display, that he was radiating happiness as he pressed a kiss onto the crown of her head. Somewhere deep down she knew he'd wanted this for a long time, and given the crew's reaction, perhaps she had been unfair to push him away for so long under the false pretenses that she wasn't interested. Before she could think any further on the subject though, he tilted his face and whispered into her ear. "You know, you've still got 19 left."
Kathryn snorted, turning her face to hide it against his chest again, before giving him a playful swat. The next ones certainly wouldn't be happening in front of everyone or the next attention he'd be basking in would be when she ordered his butt into the brig.
- fin -
