Chapter Four
The afternoon before I had to leave, I couldn't look at everything hard enough. I didn't even know how long I would be gone, or how long it would be until I saw everything again. I had spent a great deal of the day with Eidyia, and it was her that would miss the most. Now I was saying goodbye to my favorite riding horse, stroking her mane softly and wondering if I should take her out for one last ride.
There came a soft knock at the stable door. Quickly, I pulled my hood further down to cover my face. "Yes?" Eidyia pushed into the stable.
"I asked the cook where you were," she explained. "He said you took an apple and a carrot with you, so I assumed you would be here." I glanced down at the apple core at my feet.
"The carrot was for the horse. The apple was for me." She smiled slightly, then gestured in the direction of the manor.
"Come with me, dear, I have something to show you." From out of her robes, she drew a small ring of silver keys of different sizes. I titled my head to the side, completely confused. "Just follow," Eidyia commanded, tucking the keys back into her robe. I went with her, following her out of the stables (after a reluctant goodbye to the horse) and up into the manor. We climbed all the flights of stairs, passing other servants but not Ariela or her daughters. They were currently in town buying the last of their new frippery.
At last, I realized where she was leading me. We approached the door of the old attic, and Eidyia drew out her ring of keys. Taking the chain off, she used one of the larger ones to unlock the door. It swung open, dust stirring as the breeze from the open door blew inward. This was a part of the house no one had gone in for years. I looked up, seeing another flight of stairs. Eidyia motioned for me to go past her so she could lock the door again. I climbed the stairs tentatively, not sure of what I would find.
Climbing the stairs, I looked around. Light poured in from the old windows, which had no drapes or shutters over them. I had to take off my hood to see in the dim light. What I saw were stacks of trunks and boxes. Then I remembered a long ago afternoon when Eidyia and I had packed away my mother's things into trunks and boxes to be hidden from Ariela and her daughters. "Is this…" My mother's oldest friend only nodded. She pushed back the hood of her robe, revealing a face that was just beginning to show its years. Her eyes were still as warm and kind as ever, and she regarded me with an emotion that might have been pity.
"It is, Chryseis. These were Pasiphae's things. I thought that perhaps it might bring you comfort to see them and remember what you will return to when all this is through," she murmured. I sighed. As if I weren't impatient enough already… Still, that feeling of impatience and frustration passed, replaced with a compassion and remembrance of my mother that I had not allowed myself to experience in years. Eidyia unlocked a trunk, opening the lid carefully.
"I remember this…" I whispered, my voice quiet and low. I had seen my mother wear this dress to a ball once. It was a royal blue that was as regal as anything a queen could have worn. Fingering the soft velvet fabric, I drifted off in a nostalgic daze. When I returned, I felt a growing sorrow. "But I'm leaving all of this for who can tell how long! How does knowing what I am leaving make it any easier to leave?" I asked Eidyia, who was already unlocking other trunks.
"Know that this is what you're coming back to. She pulled out a rich black cloak lined with silver cloth that glittered like the stars. Laying it around my shoulders, she smiled. "You have your parent's strength, child. I have watched you grow up, even in this house with Ariela… And in this state… Yours is not the only heart breaking, dear." The smiled faded, and she smoothed my hair. "Your dear father sometimes considered sending you to live with another lady to learn how to manage a home properly after your mother died. I think we both knew you'd never leave Llyr, though." She looked sad, a faraway look in her eyes telling me that she was thinking of days gone by. "Your mother had such hopes for you too… 'She will be as lovely as the summer flowers, as graceful as a swan, and as brilliant as the morning sun,' Pasiphae announced before you were born. Perhaps not all her wishes have quite come true yet but they will. You are a good, strong child, and she would be proud of you."
Hearing her words… I wished I could have heard my own mother say them now. But wishing was no good to me, only planning for the future. I shed the cloak and folded it back into its box. "What do you want me to do, Eidyia?" I asked softly. She fixed me with a steady state.
"Keep your ears open in that palace, Chryseis. Learn as much as you can there. The only way to be happy is to find the good in everything. Look at this exile not as an exile, but as an opportunity; an opportunity to learn everything your step-sisters do." She crossed her arms and looked at me, as if to drive home her point.
"What use can the arts of a lady be to me when I am only a silent slave?" I fumed, hating Ariela all the more.
"Ariela will not always be lady in this household. One day, you will take your rightful place. I don't know when and I don't know how, but what is right will prevail."
"At least it does in stories," I said at last, my voice sounding a little more jovial and less serious. "Thank you for what you've said today. And for what you've shown me." My old governess just smiled.
"That is why I am here, Chryseis. I will miss you when you go. You have been the one thing keeping me here. I have great hope for you someday. I trust you." I gave her a long, warm hug, not ever wanting to let go. She had almost been a mother to me for so many years. Now I had to fly away from my nest, pushed out by Ariela and her brood. Still, I would heed what Eidyia said. I would try my best to learn and not let my stepsisters have a reason to brag.
"One last trunk, now," Eidyia finally pleaded after I had gone through almost all of them. She opened it up, and in it were several fine hooded robes made out of fanciful fabrics and fine cloth. They were fit for a palace servant (if the palace servants had worn hooded robes, that is). My mouth must have flopped open, and I looked like a fish gasping for air on dry land. My former governess was smiling. "I know the seamstress here. She did a favor for me and made these for you. Even if you cannot dress like an heiress, at least you will not dress like a street child." She kissed my forehead and handed me a stack of wonderful robes. "One for each season, she told me. "There's only four there…"
"They're wonderful," I grinned. "Thank you so much! I would give you another hug, but…" I gestured to the pile of robes in my arms. Eidyia smiled back.
"Your smile is enough, dear," she answered, pulling my hood back down over my face. Her grin then changed into a neutral, safe expression. "Come now, we must return. Soon Ariela will be calling for you, and it wouldn't do to miss a last chance to thumb your nose at the usurper." I giggled at her use of slang, which was quite unusual for one so well schooled in language and semantics. She locked up all the trunks again and then followed me back down the stairs and out of the attic. At the bottom, she locked the door again with her silver key and slipped the key ring back into the folds of her robe.
"All of that is waiting for your return," she whispered as we walked down the upper level hallway. I closed my eyes momentarily, picturing myself in that royal blue velvet gown with a strand of sapphires at my throat and encircling my wrists. My hair would be perfectly straight and brushed down so it was soft and silky, like Mother's. My eyes would glitter in the light, so that no one could truly notice that they were not any one color, but something in between them all. And I would dance, and Ariela would be able to do nothing but watch from the corners, never able to catch a true glimpse of me in all my glory. And I would dance on the lawn of the manor and in our halls, and know in my heart that she could not take it from me any more. Dreams of someday are so precious, especially when those dreams seem so impossible.
The next morning, I said good bye to Eidyia and took my small bag of things out to the coach that was to take us to Castle Edris. I left with the promise to write to her as often as I was allowed, not knowing how often that would be. Just before I got in, I looked as hard as I could at the grounds, trying to take in everything and lock it away in my memory. Instead, my attempt was cut short by Ariela who pushed me towards the carriage with considerable force. "Get in, girl. You'll make us late. And it wouldn't do to have to spend a night in a common inn like roadside wastrels!" My brow wrinkled in confusion.
"The journey to Edris will take longer than one night. Do you intend that we sleep in the carriage, as if we could not even afford the money for a room at an inn?" That frustrated my step-mother, of course, but I got an answer.
"Of course not!" she gasped, mortified. "You'll be staying with Lord and Lady Ziriel. Now get in the carriage and not another word from you, insolent girl." I complied, noticing that Amerisia and Cyala were already inside. They were dressed in fine clothes and traveling cloaks, looking as if they were merely going calling. Before long, we were rolling away from the manor and on our way out of Llyr. We started in the direction of the capital, which was only an hour's ride away from our manor. From there, we would continue on past it, to the manor of Lady Callas, an acquaintance of Ariela's. Then it would only be a half day's journey to Castle Edris.
As it was early still, my horrendous step-sisters were asleep. Fortunately, they slept, which is how I liked them best. Unfortunately, just outside of Calaris, they awoke. Amerisia began to complain, of course. Nothing was ever good enough for her, it seemed. The carriage was too stuffy, she whined. Cyala then commanded me to open a window. Reluctantly, I swung the window inward and latched it open. It wasn't long before Amerisia had another complaint. Now it was too cold. I was commanded to shut the window. Trying to remember Eidyia's lectures on the value of patience, I shut the window quietly. When Amerisia complained again that the whole ride was too boring, I finally got upset. Cyala had just opened her mouth to issue another edict, but I cut her off.
"I can't fix a thing," I told the brats, feeling guiltily happy at their discomfort. "You shall just have to bear it as I do."
"But we are ladies, not accustomed to this sort of travel, whereas you are only a slave, and deserve to travel in such conditions." Cyala turned up her nose at me, her voice filled with disdain. I just stared right back at her, thinking how unbelievably hideous her conceit made her. Or at least to me, she seemed all the more awful when she looked so cruel. Perhaps she thought she looked impressive and powerful. She was wrong.
"Ladies?" I snorted. "If there is a lady in this carriage, it's me. I was born a baroness, and I have endured the conditions and the company so far. Don't presume to lord a title over me. Deceitfulness is your only claim to the title of Lady."
"Ooooh! You just wait until I till Mother!" Amerisia exclaimed. I turned to glare at her.
"She's miles away by now, Amerisia. You can't keep running to your mother any more. Now you're going to have to deal with things yourself."
"Fine! You just wait until we get to Castle Edris, then you won't be so insolent!" she shot back nastily. From then on, she did not speak to me. Cyala and Amerisia merely chattered about various topics such as the new fashions in gowns and the jewels they would most like to own and what they hoped their husband would be like. Twits. I just stared out the window at the landscape we were passing by. I found myself wishing that the trip would be over already, and after several more hours of brainless banter from Ariela's daughters, I drifted off, trying to imagine what it would be like when they were thrown out of Llyr and I never had to spend another moment in their presence again.
We stayed overnight in the Ziriel manor, where I had to sleep on the floor in Amerisia and Cyala's room 'in case they needed anything.' The next day we were off again, on our way to Castle Edris. The ride was blissfully short, and an hour or so after our stop for luncheon, I spotted the gates that ran around the Edris estate. They were tall and made of stone, and I knew that it was probably to give the impression of grandeur and majesty to those who passed, and at the same time keep 'lesser' people from spying the beautiful mansion and its grounds. The grand wrought iron gates were opened for us by two servants dressed in hooded robes made of a rich material. Our carriage rolled down the path up to the castle.
It was a grand castle indeed, with tall stone walls, fitted together almost perfectly. There were grand cut glass windows that I was glad I wouldn't have to wash. After Ariela's punishment, I never wanted to wash another window again. The door to the carriage opened, and a footman assisted Amerisia and Cyala out of the carriage. Right away, the terrible pair began to issue orders. "Well, Cyn-Dyrela, what are you waiting for?" Cyala demanded. "Carry our trunks in!" I sighed and began to climb up to the top of the carriage where the trunks were stored when a rather plump woman burst out of the massive wooden doors that led into the castle.
"Welcome, ladies of Llyr! Come in!" she boomed. She was short and had unnaturally blond hair, wearing a dress that was probably the fanciest the money could buy. Ariela would have loved her style. I almost snorted to myself trying to contain my laughter. The Chemises looked endlessly pleased at being addressed as Ladies of Llyr, and went on in. I was just loosening the ropes that had tied the trunk in place when I caught the end of a quick conversation that the girls were having with the woman.
"…no serving maid?" I looked over at them. Amerisia looked horrified at whatever the woman had just said.
"Of course not! We brought a serving maid along with us. She is fetching our things," she explained. The woman just shook her plump head, artificially curled blond hair bouncing around as she did so.
"I'll have servants fetch the trunks. Tell the girl to hurry along and follow."
"Cyn-Dyrela!" Cyala called. "Come along now, and leave the trunks. As quickly as you can, now!" With a frown, I carefully climbed down, taking my time.
"Hurry up!" the woman called. "Obey your mistresses!" Reluctantly, I picked up my pace. "Follow!"
The woman took us inside with her. The stone halls were covered in rich carpets and the walls were hung with expensive tapestries. Everything about this place was undeniably opulent. There was quite a bit of gold spread around the manor. The doorknobs were plated in gold, but obviously not solid gold, for I could see a tiny speck beginning to wear off and reveal the plain metal beneath it. No doubt the mistress would have it repaired quickly to restore the illusion of wealth. I also spotted gold on the frames that enclosed huge portraits of people who were presumably the castle's former occupants. Even the carpets had traces of gold thread in them. It was as if the owners of the castle were desperate to proclaim their wealth and prestige to the world.
We followed her through the corridor and up a magnificent stone staircase that wound up all the floors of the house. I looked up, trying to glimpse the top ceiling in the gap between the flights of stairs. The roof was far away, at least four floors above us, and I marveled at the vastness of this castle. I tried to remember the title that Lord Edris bore, but my mind was blank. Whatever title he held, he must have wealth beyond imagination to support all the things I was seeing. Servants bustled past us, and I wondered how many of them it took to keep this place looking so clean and perfect.
On the third floor, we left the staircase and walked halfway down another long corridor, then turned left and walked down another hall. There were six doors in this hallway, and Lady Edris opened one of the ones on the end. "This will be your home for the next few months, young ladies," she announced. Amerisia and Cyala were beckoned inside, and the lady went in after them. I had to open the door again and slip in as quickly as I could without disturbing their conversation.
"Are there many other girls here, Lady Edris?" Amerisia asked politely. Her manners were really quite good when she remembered what manners were. The lady of the castle waved her hand dismissively.
"Oh, I'd imagine there are seven or eight of them staying at the moment, besides you two lovely ladies. You'll all have lessons together, of course, so you will get the chance to meet all of them today. I thought I would just show you around a bit first." Both girls nodded, looking around the room. There were two beds with intricately carved wooden headboards. They were covered with soft pink blankets that had a great deal of flounces around the edges; the bed skirts also seemed to be full of flounces. Mounds of pillows were piled against the headboard, all of them matching the blankets perfectly. There was one window in the room, and there were great mauve drapes on either side of it. Two chairs that matched the curtains sat in front of a grand brick fireplace. They looked comfortable and inviting, the kind of chair you could curl up in with a good book. The thought of Amerisia sitting in a chair and reading a classic piece of literature was almost laughable to me.
Cyala glided across the carpet, which was white with patterns in varying shades of pink and mauve. "These quarters are lovely. Thank you so much for your generosity, Lady Edris." She went over and sat down on one of the pink beds. As she gazed around, I noticed two doors in one corner of the room. One had a mirror affixed to the front of it and looked quite grand. The other was intricately carved, looking much like a decorative panel. Its use was only betrayed by a small latch that I spotted made of a metal that was nearly the same color as the door itself. As if she could sense my curiosity (which, of course, she couldn't) Lady Edris began to explain about the room.
"This door," she told Amerisia and Cyala, gesturing towards the one with the mirror, "is to your closet, where your trunks and gowns will be kept." She moved to the other wall and indicated the panel-like door. "The serving maid may sleep in there so she can immediately attend to her mistresses' needs." I hated that she spoke as if I weren't even in the room, or perhaps as if I weren't important enough to speak directly to. I hated these people: people who thought that servants were to be misused, ordered about, overworked, and treated like dogs. Lady Edris tossed a curl over her shoulder and announced that the girl's lessons would start in an hour. With that, she flounced out of the room.
The trunks were brought to the room, and Cyala began to order the other servants around, instructing them on where to put her things. Amerisia joined in on the task of delegating where everything went. I was obliged to help with all of this, and spent a great deal of time folding gowns and putting them in the closet or taking cosmetics from a box and storing them in drawers in one of the twin vanities that had been placed side by side against the same wall as the beds. At last, I was able to slip away and settle into my own room. I had brought a small bag of things with me, mostly the new robes Eidyia had gotten for me. In the bag, I had also tucked a few books that I loved and could read over and over again. Besides that, of course, I had taken along several sheets of parchment and a quill and ink bottle. I wanted to be able to write to Eidyia; the prospect of enduring what might be years of serving these brats without being able to talk to her seemed intolerable.
There was not much in my little room. I suspected that it had also once been a closet, for it was incredibly small. It was only long enough to push a small cot and a chair against the far wall. The room was narrow, only about twice as wide as the cot. It was fairly clean, though. I left my robes folded neatly in the bag and pushed the bag under my cot. My parchment and ink and quill I placed underneath the far end of the cot near the chair, where I could sit and write. The little room had no windows, so I was obliged to leave the door open in order to have sufficient light to settle in. As I set away my meager belongings, I heard Cyala ordering more servants about and Amerisia exclaiming about all the magnificent things she was finding in their room.
At last, the unpacking seemed to be done, and my mistresses commanded me to come out and help them prepare themselves so they would make a good impression on the other girls. Each of them chose a fine gown that they thought would make them look like wealthy ladies. Cyala sat at her vanity, adjusting a final ribbon in her hair, but Amerisia was not so self-sufficient. "Cyn-Dyrela," began Amerisia, "brush my hair. It is messy from the long journey." With contempt that I kept hidden, I complied. I took the brush and yanked it through her hair as badly as I could without her being pained by it. Her blonde hair had been curled and I did not cease my combing until the curls had come out and hung in odd looking waves. Then, I pulled it all back and tied it tightly with a ribbon to match her dress.
She frowned at me. "You oaf! You've ruined my curls!" she shrieked when she saw the results. There was nothing she could do about it now, though. The damage was done. The vain girl commanded me to twist it up into an elegant braided knot in order to hide the damage. I did so, but reluctantly. Perhaps she wouldn't need my help to embarrass herself in front of her new peers.
Shortly, there came a knock on the door. It was a servant, who had come to lead the girls to their lesson. The servant was a woman, and from her voice, she couldn't have been much older than me. "Lady Edris bids you join her and the other girls in the north study, Ladies of Llyr."
Amerisia pushed her chair away from the vanity and stood. "Well," she began, attempting to act haughty and uppity, "It's about time someone came for us. Come along, sister." Cyala rose as soon as she had fixed one last ribbon. They moved towards the door, and I wondered if I were to be given a reprieve from their presence. Sadly, that was not to be true. "You are to come too," the girl told me. Disappointed, yet curious about this lesson, I went out the door as well, following Amerisia, Cyala, and the hooded servant back through the twisted maze of corridors.
"Just a bit further," the servant girl told us as we went up the stairs. "The third floor is usually the one used for young ladies' lessons." I could tell from her voice that I was going to like this girl. Her voice had a certain quality about it that told you that she was a musical person. From her voice, one could tell that she was kind, honest, humble, and friendly. She opened a door in the main corridor on the third floor, and held it open for Amerisia and Cyala. I approached the door, and noted that she still held it open for me.
"Thank you," I whispered to her.
"You are very welcome," she replied politely and kindly. I did like this girl, whoever she was. When I entered the room, I found myself looking around, surveying the room from beneath my hood. In the room were ten antique desks made of dark wood and curls of wrought iron. They were works of art indeed! On each desk was a porcelain bottle of ink with flower designs painted on it. There was also a drawer in each desk, presumably for parchment and other such things. Only seven were currently occupied, and when Amerisia and Cyala sat down, there was only one empty desk left. Lady Edris had her own desk at the head of the classroom, and it was the grandest of them all. She had several books and pieces of parchment stacked there, as well as many different bottles of ink and quills.
Behind the desk was a small tapestry banner woven with what appeared to be the Lady's motto. ""Siobhan me dyrela, ni-siobhan naisme dyrele." It meant 'I come a girl and shall leave a lady.' I smiled to myself under my hood. I bet the school had never expected to get the two that I was forced to accompany. Imagining them as ladies was a little hard for me.
"You may sit back here," the servant girl told me. I looked over and noticed that there was a bench in the back of the room where several other servants sat. Most were girls like me, but some were older women. All of them wore hooded robes, and I understood how strict this household must be. As my stepsisters introduced themselves to their new companions, I turned to the girl who sat next to me on the end of the bench.
"Thank you for being so helpful," I told her. I knew that she was smiling, and her voice was pleasant when she replied.
"It's nothing. I remember when I came here. I was so nervous and frightened, and I could hardly see a thing from beneath this strange hood. I wished that someone had been there to help me." She paused, leaving me to absorb what she had just said. Her voice was quiet, so as not to disturb the girls who had come for their instruction. Her head turned towards me. "What is your name?"
I gulped. I had not been ready for a question like that. Obviously, saying 'My name is Chryseis Annorise of Llyr' would not be wise. At last, I managed to admit the name my step sisters had given me. "I am called Cyn-Dyrela."
"No, your name," the girl insisted. "Your real name. Mine is Valora: Valora Canteran, formerly of Llyr, as a matter of fact." The fact that she was also from Llyr both surprised and comforted me. But now I really had to think: there had to be some name I could give that would sound natural.
"My name is Morrigan," I replied with difficulty. "Morrigan, servant to the house of Llyr." Morrigan had been my mother's middle name, but surely no one would recognize that here.
"Welcome to Castle Edris, Morrigan," Valora told me quietly.
The afternoon before I had to leave, I couldn't look at everything hard enough. I didn't even know how long I would be gone, or how long it would be until I saw everything again. I had spent a great deal of the day with Eidyia, and it was her that would miss the most. Now I was saying goodbye to my favorite riding horse, stroking her mane softly and wondering if I should take her out for one last ride.
There came a soft knock at the stable door. Quickly, I pulled my hood further down to cover my face. "Yes?" Eidyia pushed into the stable.
"I asked the cook where you were," she explained. "He said you took an apple and a carrot with you, so I assumed you would be here." I glanced down at the apple core at my feet.
"The carrot was for the horse. The apple was for me." She smiled slightly, then gestured in the direction of the manor.
"Come with me, dear, I have something to show you." From out of her robes, she drew a small ring of silver keys of different sizes. I titled my head to the side, completely confused. "Just follow," Eidyia commanded, tucking the keys back into her robe. I went with her, following her out of the stables (after a reluctant goodbye to the horse) and up into the manor. We climbed all the flights of stairs, passing other servants but not Ariela or her daughters. They were currently in town buying the last of their new frippery.
At last, I realized where she was leading me. We approached the door of the old attic, and Eidyia drew out her ring of keys. Taking the chain off, she used one of the larger ones to unlock the door. It swung open, dust stirring as the breeze from the open door blew inward. This was a part of the house no one had gone in for years. I looked up, seeing another flight of stairs. Eidyia motioned for me to go past her so she could lock the door again. I climbed the stairs tentatively, not sure of what I would find.
Climbing the stairs, I looked around. Light poured in from the old windows, which had no drapes or shutters over them. I had to take off my hood to see in the dim light. What I saw were stacks of trunks and boxes. Then I remembered a long ago afternoon when Eidyia and I had packed away my mother's things into trunks and boxes to be hidden from Ariela and her daughters. "Is this…" My mother's oldest friend only nodded. She pushed back the hood of her robe, revealing a face that was just beginning to show its years. Her eyes were still as warm and kind as ever, and she regarded me with an emotion that might have been pity.
"It is, Chryseis. These were Pasiphae's things. I thought that perhaps it might bring you comfort to see them and remember what you will return to when all this is through," she murmured. I sighed. As if I weren't impatient enough already… Still, that feeling of impatience and frustration passed, replaced with a compassion and remembrance of my mother that I had not allowed myself to experience in years. Eidyia unlocked a trunk, opening the lid carefully.
"I remember this…" I whispered, my voice quiet and low. I had seen my mother wear this dress to a ball once. It was a royal blue that was as regal as anything a queen could have worn. Fingering the soft velvet fabric, I drifted off in a nostalgic daze. When I returned, I felt a growing sorrow. "But I'm leaving all of this for who can tell how long! How does knowing what I am leaving make it any easier to leave?" I asked Eidyia, who was already unlocking other trunks.
"Know that this is what you're coming back to. She pulled out a rich black cloak lined with silver cloth that glittered like the stars. Laying it around my shoulders, she smiled. "You have your parent's strength, child. I have watched you grow up, even in this house with Ariela… And in this state… Yours is not the only heart breaking, dear." The smiled faded, and she smoothed my hair. "Your dear father sometimes considered sending you to live with another lady to learn how to manage a home properly after your mother died. I think we both knew you'd never leave Llyr, though." She looked sad, a faraway look in her eyes telling me that she was thinking of days gone by. "Your mother had such hopes for you too… 'She will be as lovely as the summer flowers, as graceful as a swan, and as brilliant as the morning sun,' Pasiphae announced before you were born. Perhaps not all her wishes have quite come true yet but they will. You are a good, strong child, and she would be proud of you."
Hearing her words… I wished I could have heard my own mother say them now. But wishing was no good to me, only planning for the future. I shed the cloak and folded it back into its box. "What do you want me to do, Eidyia?" I asked softly. She fixed me with a steady state.
"Keep your ears open in that palace, Chryseis. Learn as much as you can there. The only way to be happy is to find the good in everything. Look at this exile not as an exile, but as an opportunity; an opportunity to learn everything your step-sisters do." She crossed her arms and looked at me, as if to drive home her point.
"What use can the arts of a lady be to me when I am only a silent slave?" I fumed, hating Ariela all the more.
"Ariela will not always be lady in this household. One day, you will take your rightful place. I don't know when and I don't know how, but what is right will prevail."
"At least it does in stories," I said at last, my voice sounding a little more jovial and less serious. "Thank you for what you've said today. And for what you've shown me." My old governess just smiled.
"That is why I am here, Chryseis. I will miss you when you go. You have been the one thing keeping me here. I have great hope for you someday. I trust you." I gave her a long, warm hug, not ever wanting to let go. She had almost been a mother to me for so many years. Now I had to fly away from my nest, pushed out by Ariela and her brood. Still, I would heed what Eidyia said. I would try my best to learn and not let my stepsisters have a reason to brag.
"One last trunk, now," Eidyia finally pleaded after I had gone through almost all of them. She opened it up, and in it were several fine hooded robes made out of fanciful fabrics and fine cloth. They were fit for a palace servant (if the palace servants had worn hooded robes, that is). My mouth must have flopped open, and I looked like a fish gasping for air on dry land. My former governess was smiling. "I know the seamstress here. She did a favor for me and made these for you. Even if you cannot dress like an heiress, at least you will not dress like a street child." She kissed my forehead and handed me a stack of wonderful robes. "One for each season, she told me. "There's only four there…"
"They're wonderful," I grinned. "Thank you so much! I would give you another hug, but…" I gestured to the pile of robes in my arms. Eidyia smiled back.
"Your smile is enough, dear," she answered, pulling my hood back down over my face. Her grin then changed into a neutral, safe expression. "Come now, we must return. Soon Ariela will be calling for you, and it wouldn't do to miss a last chance to thumb your nose at the usurper." I giggled at her use of slang, which was quite unusual for one so well schooled in language and semantics. She locked up all the trunks again and then followed me back down the stairs and out of the attic. At the bottom, she locked the door again with her silver key and slipped the key ring back into the folds of her robe.
"All of that is waiting for your return," she whispered as we walked down the upper level hallway. I closed my eyes momentarily, picturing myself in that royal blue velvet gown with a strand of sapphires at my throat and encircling my wrists. My hair would be perfectly straight and brushed down so it was soft and silky, like Mother's. My eyes would glitter in the light, so that no one could truly notice that they were not any one color, but something in between them all. And I would dance, and Ariela would be able to do nothing but watch from the corners, never able to catch a true glimpse of me in all my glory. And I would dance on the lawn of the manor and in our halls, and know in my heart that she could not take it from me any more. Dreams of someday are so precious, especially when those dreams seem so impossible.
The next morning, I said good bye to Eidyia and took my small bag of things out to the coach that was to take us to Castle Edris. I left with the promise to write to her as often as I was allowed, not knowing how often that would be. Just before I got in, I looked as hard as I could at the grounds, trying to take in everything and lock it away in my memory. Instead, my attempt was cut short by Ariela who pushed me towards the carriage with considerable force. "Get in, girl. You'll make us late. And it wouldn't do to have to spend a night in a common inn like roadside wastrels!" My brow wrinkled in confusion.
"The journey to Edris will take longer than one night. Do you intend that we sleep in the carriage, as if we could not even afford the money for a room at an inn?" That frustrated my step-mother, of course, but I got an answer.
"Of course not!" she gasped, mortified. "You'll be staying with Lord and Lady Ziriel. Now get in the carriage and not another word from you, insolent girl." I complied, noticing that Amerisia and Cyala were already inside. They were dressed in fine clothes and traveling cloaks, looking as if they were merely going calling. Before long, we were rolling away from the manor and on our way out of Llyr. We started in the direction of the capital, which was only an hour's ride away from our manor. From there, we would continue on past it, to the manor of Lady Callas, an acquaintance of Ariela's. Then it would only be a half day's journey to Castle Edris.
As it was early still, my horrendous step-sisters were asleep. Fortunately, they slept, which is how I liked them best. Unfortunately, just outside of Calaris, they awoke. Amerisia began to complain, of course. Nothing was ever good enough for her, it seemed. The carriage was too stuffy, she whined. Cyala then commanded me to open a window. Reluctantly, I swung the window inward and latched it open. It wasn't long before Amerisia had another complaint. Now it was too cold. I was commanded to shut the window. Trying to remember Eidyia's lectures on the value of patience, I shut the window quietly. When Amerisia complained again that the whole ride was too boring, I finally got upset. Cyala had just opened her mouth to issue another edict, but I cut her off.
"I can't fix a thing," I told the brats, feeling guiltily happy at their discomfort. "You shall just have to bear it as I do."
"But we are ladies, not accustomed to this sort of travel, whereas you are only a slave, and deserve to travel in such conditions." Cyala turned up her nose at me, her voice filled with disdain. I just stared right back at her, thinking how unbelievably hideous her conceit made her. Or at least to me, she seemed all the more awful when she looked so cruel. Perhaps she thought she looked impressive and powerful. She was wrong.
"Ladies?" I snorted. "If there is a lady in this carriage, it's me. I was born a baroness, and I have endured the conditions and the company so far. Don't presume to lord a title over me. Deceitfulness is your only claim to the title of Lady."
"Ooooh! You just wait until I till Mother!" Amerisia exclaimed. I turned to glare at her.
"She's miles away by now, Amerisia. You can't keep running to your mother any more. Now you're going to have to deal with things yourself."
"Fine! You just wait until we get to Castle Edris, then you won't be so insolent!" she shot back nastily. From then on, she did not speak to me. Cyala and Amerisia merely chattered about various topics such as the new fashions in gowns and the jewels they would most like to own and what they hoped their husband would be like. Twits. I just stared out the window at the landscape we were passing by. I found myself wishing that the trip would be over already, and after several more hours of brainless banter from Ariela's daughters, I drifted off, trying to imagine what it would be like when they were thrown out of Llyr and I never had to spend another moment in their presence again.
We stayed overnight in the Ziriel manor, where I had to sleep on the floor in Amerisia and Cyala's room 'in case they needed anything.' The next day we were off again, on our way to Castle Edris. The ride was blissfully short, and an hour or so after our stop for luncheon, I spotted the gates that ran around the Edris estate. They were tall and made of stone, and I knew that it was probably to give the impression of grandeur and majesty to those who passed, and at the same time keep 'lesser' people from spying the beautiful mansion and its grounds. The grand wrought iron gates were opened for us by two servants dressed in hooded robes made of a rich material. Our carriage rolled down the path up to the castle.
It was a grand castle indeed, with tall stone walls, fitted together almost perfectly. There were grand cut glass windows that I was glad I wouldn't have to wash. After Ariela's punishment, I never wanted to wash another window again. The door to the carriage opened, and a footman assisted Amerisia and Cyala out of the carriage. Right away, the terrible pair began to issue orders. "Well, Cyn-Dyrela, what are you waiting for?" Cyala demanded. "Carry our trunks in!" I sighed and began to climb up to the top of the carriage where the trunks were stored when a rather plump woman burst out of the massive wooden doors that led into the castle.
"Welcome, ladies of Llyr! Come in!" she boomed. She was short and had unnaturally blond hair, wearing a dress that was probably the fanciest the money could buy. Ariela would have loved her style. I almost snorted to myself trying to contain my laughter. The Chemises looked endlessly pleased at being addressed as Ladies of Llyr, and went on in. I was just loosening the ropes that had tied the trunk in place when I caught the end of a quick conversation that the girls were having with the woman.
"…no serving maid?" I looked over at them. Amerisia looked horrified at whatever the woman had just said.
"Of course not! We brought a serving maid along with us. She is fetching our things," she explained. The woman just shook her plump head, artificially curled blond hair bouncing around as she did so.
"I'll have servants fetch the trunks. Tell the girl to hurry along and follow."
"Cyn-Dyrela!" Cyala called. "Come along now, and leave the trunks. As quickly as you can, now!" With a frown, I carefully climbed down, taking my time.
"Hurry up!" the woman called. "Obey your mistresses!" Reluctantly, I picked up my pace. "Follow!"
The woman took us inside with her. The stone halls were covered in rich carpets and the walls were hung with expensive tapestries. Everything about this place was undeniably opulent. There was quite a bit of gold spread around the manor. The doorknobs were plated in gold, but obviously not solid gold, for I could see a tiny speck beginning to wear off and reveal the plain metal beneath it. No doubt the mistress would have it repaired quickly to restore the illusion of wealth. I also spotted gold on the frames that enclosed huge portraits of people who were presumably the castle's former occupants. Even the carpets had traces of gold thread in them. It was as if the owners of the castle were desperate to proclaim their wealth and prestige to the world.
We followed her through the corridor and up a magnificent stone staircase that wound up all the floors of the house. I looked up, trying to glimpse the top ceiling in the gap between the flights of stairs. The roof was far away, at least four floors above us, and I marveled at the vastness of this castle. I tried to remember the title that Lord Edris bore, but my mind was blank. Whatever title he held, he must have wealth beyond imagination to support all the things I was seeing. Servants bustled past us, and I wondered how many of them it took to keep this place looking so clean and perfect.
On the third floor, we left the staircase and walked halfway down another long corridor, then turned left and walked down another hall. There were six doors in this hallway, and Lady Edris opened one of the ones on the end. "This will be your home for the next few months, young ladies," she announced. Amerisia and Cyala were beckoned inside, and the lady went in after them. I had to open the door again and slip in as quickly as I could without disturbing their conversation.
"Are there many other girls here, Lady Edris?" Amerisia asked politely. Her manners were really quite good when she remembered what manners were. The lady of the castle waved her hand dismissively.
"Oh, I'd imagine there are seven or eight of them staying at the moment, besides you two lovely ladies. You'll all have lessons together, of course, so you will get the chance to meet all of them today. I thought I would just show you around a bit first." Both girls nodded, looking around the room. There were two beds with intricately carved wooden headboards. They were covered with soft pink blankets that had a great deal of flounces around the edges; the bed skirts also seemed to be full of flounces. Mounds of pillows were piled against the headboard, all of them matching the blankets perfectly. There was one window in the room, and there were great mauve drapes on either side of it. Two chairs that matched the curtains sat in front of a grand brick fireplace. They looked comfortable and inviting, the kind of chair you could curl up in with a good book. The thought of Amerisia sitting in a chair and reading a classic piece of literature was almost laughable to me.
Cyala glided across the carpet, which was white with patterns in varying shades of pink and mauve. "These quarters are lovely. Thank you so much for your generosity, Lady Edris." She went over and sat down on one of the pink beds. As she gazed around, I noticed two doors in one corner of the room. One had a mirror affixed to the front of it and looked quite grand. The other was intricately carved, looking much like a decorative panel. Its use was only betrayed by a small latch that I spotted made of a metal that was nearly the same color as the door itself. As if she could sense my curiosity (which, of course, she couldn't) Lady Edris began to explain about the room.
"This door," she told Amerisia and Cyala, gesturing towards the one with the mirror, "is to your closet, where your trunks and gowns will be kept." She moved to the other wall and indicated the panel-like door. "The serving maid may sleep in there so she can immediately attend to her mistresses' needs." I hated that she spoke as if I weren't even in the room, or perhaps as if I weren't important enough to speak directly to. I hated these people: people who thought that servants were to be misused, ordered about, overworked, and treated like dogs. Lady Edris tossed a curl over her shoulder and announced that the girl's lessons would start in an hour. With that, she flounced out of the room.
The trunks were brought to the room, and Cyala began to order the other servants around, instructing them on where to put her things. Amerisia joined in on the task of delegating where everything went. I was obliged to help with all of this, and spent a great deal of time folding gowns and putting them in the closet or taking cosmetics from a box and storing them in drawers in one of the twin vanities that had been placed side by side against the same wall as the beds. At last, I was able to slip away and settle into my own room. I had brought a small bag of things with me, mostly the new robes Eidyia had gotten for me. In the bag, I had also tucked a few books that I loved and could read over and over again. Besides that, of course, I had taken along several sheets of parchment and a quill and ink bottle. I wanted to be able to write to Eidyia; the prospect of enduring what might be years of serving these brats without being able to talk to her seemed intolerable.
There was not much in my little room. I suspected that it had also once been a closet, for it was incredibly small. It was only long enough to push a small cot and a chair against the far wall. The room was narrow, only about twice as wide as the cot. It was fairly clean, though. I left my robes folded neatly in the bag and pushed the bag under my cot. My parchment and ink and quill I placed underneath the far end of the cot near the chair, where I could sit and write. The little room had no windows, so I was obliged to leave the door open in order to have sufficient light to settle in. As I set away my meager belongings, I heard Cyala ordering more servants about and Amerisia exclaiming about all the magnificent things she was finding in their room.
At last, the unpacking seemed to be done, and my mistresses commanded me to come out and help them prepare themselves so they would make a good impression on the other girls. Each of them chose a fine gown that they thought would make them look like wealthy ladies. Cyala sat at her vanity, adjusting a final ribbon in her hair, but Amerisia was not so self-sufficient. "Cyn-Dyrela," began Amerisia, "brush my hair. It is messy from the long journey." With contempt that I kept hidden, I complied. I took the brush and yanked it through her hair as badly as I could without her being pained by it. Her blonde hair had been curled and I did not cease my combing until the curls had come out and hung in odd looking waves. Then, I pulled it all back and tied it tightly with a ribbon to match her dress.
She frowned at me. "You oaf! You've ruined my curls!" she shrieked when she saw the results. There was nothing she could do about it now, though. The damage was done. The vain girl commanded me to twist it up into an elegant braided knot in order to hide the damage. I did so, but reluctantly. Perhaps she wouldn't need my help to embarrass herself in front of her new peers.
Shortly, there came a knock on the door. It was a servant, who had come to lead the girls to their lesson. The servant was a woman, and from her voice, she couldn't have been much older than me. "Lady Edris bids you join her and the other girls in the north study, Ladies of Llyr."
Amerisia pushed her chair away from the vanity and stood. "Well," she began, attempting to act haughty and uppity, "It's about time someone came for us. Come along, sister." Cyala rose as soon as she had fixed one last ribbon. They moved towards the door, and I wondered if I were to be given a reprieve from their presence. Sadly, that was not to be true. "You are to come too," the girl told me. Disappointed, yet curious about this lesson, I went out the door as well, following Amerisia, Cyala, and the hooded servant back through the twisted maze of corridors.
"Just a bit further," the servant girl told us as we went up the stairs. "The third floor is usually the one used for young ladies' lessons." I could tell from her voice that I was going to like this girl. Her voice had a certain quality about it that told you that she was a musical person. From her voice, one could tell that she was kind, honest, humble, and friendly. She opened a door in the main corridor on the third floor, and held it open for Amerisia and Cyala. I approached the door, and noted that she still held it open for me.
"Thank you," I whispered to her.
"You are very welcome," she replied politely and kindly. I did like this girl, whoever she was. When I entered the room, I found myself looking around, surveying the room from beneath my hood. In the room were ten antique desks made of dark wood and curls of wrought iron. They were works of art indeed! On each desk was a porcelain bottle of ink with flower designs painted on it. There was also a drawer in each desk, presumably for parchment and other such things. Only seven were currently occupied, and when Amerisia and Cyala sat down, there was only one empty desk left. Lady Edris had her own desk at the head of the classroom, and it was the grandest of them all. She had several books and pieces of parchment stacked there, as well as many different bottles of ink and quills.
Behind the desk was a small tapestry banner woven with what appeared to be the Lady's motto. ""Siobhan me dyrela, ni-siobhan naisme dyrele." It meant 'I come a girl and shall leave a lady.' I smiled to myself under my hood. I bet the school had never expected to get the two that I was forced to accompany. Imagining them as ladies was a little hard for me.
"You may sit back here," the servant girl told me. I looked over and noticed that there was a bench in the back of the room where several other servants sat. Most were girls like me, but some were older women. All of them wore hooded robes, and I understood how strict this household must be. As my stepsisters introduced themselves to their new companions, I turned to the girl who sat next to me on the end of the bench.
"Thank you for being so helpful," I told her. I knew that she was smiling, and her voice was pleasant when she replied.
"It's nothing. I remember when I came here. I was so nervous and frightened, and I could hardly see a thing from beneath this strange hood. I wished that someone had been there to help me." She paused, leaving me to absorb what she had just said. Her voice was quiet, so as not to disturb the girls who had come for their instruction. Her head turned towards me. "What is your name?"
I gulped. I had not been ready for a question like that. Obviously, saying 'My name is Chryseis Annorise of Llyr' would not be wise. At last, I managed to admit the name my step sisters had given me. "I am called Cyn-Dyrela."
"No, your name," the girl insisted. "Your real name. Mine is Valora: Valora Canteran, formerly of Llyr, as a matter of fact." The fact that she was also from Llyr both surprised and comforted me. But now I really had to think: there had to be some name I could give that would sound natural.
"My name is Morrigan," I replied with difficulty. "Morrigan, servant to the house of Llyr." Morrigan had been my mother's middle name, but surely no one would recognize that here.
"Welcome to Castle Edris, Morrigan," Valora told me quietly.
