Chapter Nine

The grand carriage pulled up to the house at almost exactly midnight. I stepped out, and the carriage promptly disappeared, leaving only the silver riding horse standing behind me. Eidyia was hurrying out the door to meet me as I made my way towards her and the manor. "Chryseis, dear! It has been so awful waiting for news. How did the plan work?" As I led the horse back to the stable, my old nurse followed me. "It went so well, Eidyia," I assured her. "The ball was wonderful."

"What of the prince?" she asked nervously. "Has he met Amerisia?"

"Of course," I snapped, rolling my eyes. "She was desperately trying to be next to him almost all night. It was hard to pry her away. It's so disgusting. The girls there hunt him like some animal and treat him like some sort of grand prize that is to be given away. All he wants to do is get away and be normal, but they can't see that. He's so trapped!" Eidyia was giving me a strange sort of smile that I didn't recognize, so I pressed on, leading the horse through the stable doors and into his stall.

As I returned to the house, she kept on staring at me. At last, she spoke. "I'm so proud of you," she told me, a tiny tear streaming down her cheek. Then, on a different note, "Did you dance with Prince Brien?"

"Yes," I answered nonchalantly. "Once. But what's more important, the name of Llyr is being spoken again." I made my way inside, ready to get the gown and things off before the others got home. I lifted the necklace off my neck and looked at it. Mother wore that necklace long ago. She had been so graceful, so perfect. Had I fulfilled her legacy tonight?

Eidyia sat me down to unwrap my hair. She delicately lifted the silver band out of my hair, snagging it once on a particularly stubborn twist of brown hair. At last, the hair had been undone. I brushed and braided it neatly, returning it to its normal state. I changed out of the fancy gown to my normal undergown and hooded robe. Eidyia hurried to return my gown and things to the attic. She locked them up and returned to help me clean up my makeup. After wiping the last of the face powder away, I pulled the hood up over my face and left the room. I went to the library with Eidyia and read, listening as the main door to the manor opened and shut several times, the servants who had been out returning before their mistress did.

At last, the door slammed again, and Ariela's voice ripped through the peaceful silence. "Cyn-Dyrela! Get down here immediately." My heart stopped for a moment, fearing that they had discovered my secret. But I hurried down all the same to see what they had to say. I reached the bottom of the stairs only to find the trio looking smug and all together very pleased with themselves. "It took you long enough," Ariela scolded impatiently. "Help Amerisia and Cyala out of their gowns."

Frowning, I led them up the stairs to the room, where they burst into a chatter. Cyala was angry at her sister for practically abandoning her the entire evening. Amerisia mostly gloated about how she had spent so much time with the prince. She talked on and on about the ball and how she was with the prince nearly half of the evening. "And I was with his highness until dinner. Some insolent, unknown brat sat beside him. I don't know who she is, but whoever she is, she is trouble. She's a lovely wench, but without the slight bit of class. I wonder if she even has noble blood."

"You're just jealous," sneered Cyala, happy to find something that irked her elder sister. "You're jealous because she's beautiful and because the prince talks and dances with her more willingly. And she has prettier jewels than you! Jewels that change color like magic!"

"Shut up, brat," screamed Amerisia, who was by now in a foul temper. "You know nothing! I shall be the next princess. You wait and see," she jeered. "You didn't even seem interested in his Highness. What is wrong with you? Where's your ambition?"

Cyala gave a haughty 'hmph' and stuck her nose in the air. "I thought he was a dreadful boy, to tell the truth. So informal, and not at all what a prince should be. I much prefer the young Duke of Corianis. He's probably even more powerful than your precious prince."

"My precious prince will be king someday," Amerisia bragged. "And if I am queen..." She sighed and looked into her mirror with a smug grin. "Even if Prince Brien is a bit odd, he's still prince, and he can still make me a queen someday." My anger was growing, and I brushed her hair roughly tonight, causing her to whine and complain. But I didn't care. At least she felt threatened by my presence at the ball. This was a very good thing. Before I left, however, Amerisia revealed some more startling news.

"For your information, Cyala, his royal highness in coming tomorrow to our household. And you, Cyn-Dyrela, shall clean the manor and prepare the household,'" she said, turning to me. "Everything must be perfect for Prince Brien." She giggled like a giddy schoolgirl, her mood totally changing. The prince, if he did marry Amerisia, would find a girl far different from the girl she was at the balls. She was two sided, this girl who pretended to be the heir of Llyr.

I went to bed in a pondering mood. The next few days wouldn't be easy. I had to ferment alliances at the next ball with the aristocrats. There was also the physical work of preparing the manor to Ariela's standards. As I lay in my cot before I fell asleep, I thought once more of the plan. How could I win if Brien was in love with Amerisia? That would be a disaster. But with a little brainpower, I would show them that they couldn't defeat me. I fell asleep, still thinking about the enormous task at hand.

The next morning, I was assigned to help in the kitchens with the cooks and chefs and bakers. We all stood tolerantly as Cyala listed the foods we were to have prepared by this afternoon. She was trying to imitate her mother's bossy tones, and sounded very haughty and commanding indeed.

"We're feeding the prince, not an army of dinner guests," I snapped back as I headed to the cold storage to fetch the ingredients. While I carried eggs and milk and such back up from the cellar below the kitchen, I mumbled to myself in the Ancient Tongue, reminding myself that it wouldn't be long before I wouldn't have to take their orders.

I arranged all the little hors d'oeurves on platters and hurried about, taking orders from the chef. I was frosting cakes and garnishing tiny tea sandwiches when Ariela came down to inspect. I was just taking some tea-cakes out of the oven as she came in, and the detestable woman found herself blasted by steam from the oven.

"What's all this?" she demanded angrily, waving a hand to ward off the steam. "Are the things done yet?"

"Almost," the head cook assured her nervously. "We were just making the final preparations!" just then, Cyala burst in.

"The prince's carriage is on its way!" she exclaimed. I looked at her skeptically. She had changed into one of her best gowns and someone, probably her sister, had done her hair. She looked excited, and Ariela turned to her.

"Good. Make final preparations for his visit." Cyala ran off and Ariela turned to me. "You, girl. Wear your best hooded robe. I won't have you looking shabby for His Highness." I hurried off to the attic to change. It was strange, but something inside me didn't want the prince to see me in a tattered, flour covered robe either. Picking through my hooded robes, I finally found the robes that Eidyia had given me to wear at Castle Edris. I put on the best of them, a summer robe that was the same bluish purple as the iris that bloomed in our gardens. With the hood pulled over my face so no one could recognize me, and I ran out of the room.

Hurrying outside, I found that the prince was just arriving and that the Chemises were all read waiting for him. Amerisia was all dressed up as well, looking every bit as wonderful as she did at the last ball. I felt a pang of something. Anger, most likely. I pulled my hood down further over my face. The royal coach pulled in and Brien cautiously climbed out, unaccompanied by anyone else. He looked almost tired; his tunic of rich dark navy material making him look a bit dark, like a shadow. Ariela commanded me to take the horses to the stable. I led them towards the building, and the prince followed. "I can get that," he said. Amerisia and Cyala looked mortified at this, but allowed him too walk away.

He went to the other side of the carriage and laid a hand on one of the horses. We walked to the stable and I opened the door as he began to unhitch the horses. "Beautiful creatures aren't they?" he asked me suddenly. I looked up at him, startled. Was he talking to me? Me, quite obviously a servant girl? It was rather apparent before long, because he kept speaking even though there was no one else around us. "I truly love to just ride them; it feels as if I am escaping the world for a while."

I thought for a while of the many times that I simply leapt on my favorite horse and rode away from Ariela and her household that reminded me of my lost birthright. "With the wind in my hair, just forgetting who I was and who I am, knowing only the moment." He nodded, and I blushed with embarrassment as I realized that I had been speaking out loud during that last thought.

"Sometimes one needs to forget," he muttered, brushing the horse. I handed him a brush for the tall brown horse and he curled his fingers around it, looking at me as best he could with my hood over my face. "Do you know how that is?" Brien asked softly.

"Every day," I whispered back, not knowing if he could hear me. Every day, I was reminded of the burden of my inheritance. Every day, I faced the knowledge that Ariela was stealing away my birthright. Sometimes, I wished I could just forget about it all and imagine that it was just a dream and soon I would wake up. I was ready to taste freedom now, to break free at last so I wouldn't have to live my life wishing it was only a bad dream. I wasn't ready, however, for what Brien confided.

"I feel, sometimes, as if a great burden is placed on my shoulders. The burden of my mother's hope for me and my future, my father's pride and insistence, and the whole world's expectations… The legacy of my ancestors is in me, and I have to fulfill it. Every day is a struggle," he told me, brushing his horse. I stood there, amazed by this confession.

"Your Highness," I began, not knowing what to say. "I am just a servant girl. Surely you have someone else you can confide in that is…"

"That is of noble blood?" he questioned, cutting in as he moved over to go help brush the horse in front of me. "They don't understand. No one understands that to be a prince is to be a servant more than anything; a servant of the people, a servant of the king. It is a gilded cage, but a cage nonetheless. I don't even know why I'm saying this now. I'm sorry if I've startled you or made you uncomfortable." His voice was so painfully honest, and suddenly I felt compelled to reassure him, to help him.

"I understand. My only hesitance was that… Well, you are a prince, and I am a servant, and I wasn't sure why you would talk to someone like me."

"I don't know what it is, but I feel as if I can trust you. Am I right in that?" he asked softly. I looked over at him. His eyes were almost sad, and I saw a wistful look in them. It was the look of someone who is alone, who is searching for something constant to hold onto. Had he ever had a friend before, someone he could talk to, someone who understood what he was going through? I wanted to banish that lonely shadow from him. No one should be alone like that.

"You may trust me, Highness," I answered, my voice sure and strong. Now I saw him smile slightly, and a little bit of the loneliness seemed to disappear. He continued to talk to me in that empty stable, probably saying these things aloud for the first time. I marveled at how much he trusted me already, but was more amazed that I trusted him equally. And more than that, I understood everything he said.

"Many think that it is so wonderful to be a prince. They can't understand what it's like, but still they are envious of me. For one day, I wish we could trade places, and maybe then they would know… Have you ever wished you were someone else…" He paused. "I'm sorry. I don't know your name." That was difficult. I didn't know how to answer that. Should I say that my name was Cyn-Dyrela? No, I couldn't have him call me by that detestable title. He answered his own question when I told him that I had no name. "I shall call you Mer-Dyrelle then, of you do not mind." Why was he calling me 'My Lady?" That surprised me, and I caught my hand in the door to one of the stalls as I was closing it.

"Akiya areosa!" I said without thinking.

"You know the Ancient Tongue!" he exclaimed, giving me a strange look. "I've never heard it spoken by a....." he trailed off, as if he did not want to bring attention to my place. I quickly gave the same justification to him as I had to Valora when she questioned my extensive education.

"Well, the former Lord and Lady of Llyr were much more understanding about knowledge," I explained in the Ancient Tongue, a language that was mostly dead now, only used by a few scholars and ancient texts. We talked for a while in the language, almost just to see the novelty of the other one speaking. His grammar and pronunciation was very good, and he told me that his language tutor had taught it to him using the classic works.

"Telera escana eponas comemar raten?" he asked, wanting to know if I still wished to ride with him later.

"Sen," I replied in the Tongue, amazed at this invitation. "Newa?"

"After this visit is over," he replied, reverting to the common language now. "I came to call on Dyrelles Amerisia and Cyala, but I would like to talk to you again."

My thoughts were interrupted by Amerisia. "Prince Brien? Where are you?" she called. Eventually, she discovered us in the barn and attached herself to his arm, dragging him towards the manor. I made to follow, but the eldest Chemise girl was appalled. "How dare you presume to follow us! Get to the kitchen where you belong. We shall call when we need you!"

Brien turned towards her. "Is this how you treat those who serve you loyally?" he asked her, appalled at her behavior.

"Well," Amerisia hastily amended, "she's rather insolent and hardly loyal. Firm discipline is what keeps her loyal to our house, Prince Brien." I could tell that he didn't buy her excuse in the least. This made me admire him a little. He wasn't at all what I had expected him to be, and I was almost looking forward to riding with him tonight.

Then I remembered something. I could never draw back my hood when I was with him. It was important that no one know the connection between myself and 'Morrigan of Teatra.' I wondered if he had recognized my voice at all, even though I had taught myself to speak in quite a different voice at the balls. My heart was filled with fear as my mind went through all the ways everything could go wrong. Then, I dismissed all my fears. It didn't matter. I would just have to be very careful to keep my hood over my face and speak differently at the balls.

Right away, I slipped up to my room to put on a pair of riding breeches and boots and a blouse in place of my usual dress. Pulling my robe over it, I smiled as I realized that no one would know I was wearing riding gear beneath my servant's robe. That done, I waited impatiently in the kitchens until I heard that Brien was leaving. Then, I managed to sneak away while the dishes were being brought in to wash. As fast as I could, I hurried out to the stable while the prince and my stepsisters were still upstairs. Entering the stables from the back, I quickly saddled my own horse, a chocolate mare that I often rode over the hills. After a few minutes, I heard someone approaching the stables. I froze, wondering if I should duck down behind the stall door. Then I heard people conversing.

"I'll just get my own horses back out," the prince was telling someone. Ariela's voice was next.

"Your highness, we have servants to do those things. You needn't do it yourself." Her voice was so fake and dripping with false admiration. I hoped he could see right through her. To my surprise, it was Brien who responded, but Amerisia.

"I admire your independence, Prince Brien," she said. "But if you do desire assistance, then do not hesitate to ask."

"I won't," he replied. "Thank you for the honor of allowing me to visit Llyr. It was a pleasure." With that, the doors of the stable opened, and I remained hidden behind my stable door in case one of my stepsisters might have followed him. Indeed, my intuition had been correct. "Is their something more you need to say, Lady Amerisia?" I heard Brien ask.

"I thought I might help you," she answered in a very confident voice.

"Thank you, Lady Amerisia," he said kindly, and I wondered that his tone was so different when he not speaking to Ariela as well. Surely he hated Amerisia as much as I did! How could he not see right through her act? My heart sank until Brien finished his reply to Amerisia. "I do not require your help, though. You are a noble lady, and I assume you do not care for horses yourself. To make you feel obligated that you must help me with this is my fault, and I apologize. Go on out to the carriage, if you wish to help me, and tell the coachman that I will be out shortly."

"Very well, your Highness." I heard the clang of the stable door as Amerisia went out, and Brien began to mumble aloud to himself.

"There must be something to write on in this place..." I took my chance and stood up.

"Your Highness?" He turned quickly to face me, surprised by the sound of my voice.

"Oh! There you are," he said, looking relieved. "I was just going to write you a note." Then he seemed to realize that I had been hiding. "What are you doing back there?" he asked, a quizzical look on his face. I told him the truth.

"I was just saddling up my horse when I thought I heard Amerisia coming."

"Are you not allowed to ride?" His face registered concern and he quickly tried to back out. "I don't want you to be in trouble or fired from your place here. If it's too much trouble..."

"No, it's all right," I assured him. "It's just that Amerisia isn't too understanding about horses and such. She never comes out here herself." He only shrugged his shoulders.

"All right, then. I just wanted to tell you that I'm going to travel a ways down the road. Do you know the hill along the road about a mile out of town?"

"Yes, your Highness."

"That is where I will wait for you, then." He was already leading the two horses out of their stalls. "I will see you there, Mer-Dyrelle?"

"I will be there, your Highness." With that, I returned to my place behind my horse in its stall, and Brien left. I heard his good-byes to my step-family, but in particular to Amerisia. He welcomed them back to the ball tomorrow, and I couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated. Did he actually want to see them again? Oh well. It was, perhaps, a question I could ask him when we were riding.

When Ariela and her daughters went back into the house, I took off out the back door of the stables, riding away from the manor. I urged my horse on until we came to the hill where Brien was waiting for me. He was alone, having sent the carriage on back to the palace. It was a perfect day to go riding, a slight breeze cooling the air that was heated by the summer sun. I rode with one hand holding the rains and the other holding my hood in place.

When we slowed our horses, the prince began to talk to me. He used the Ancient Tongue, obviously pleased that he had found someone who understood it and spoke it as well as he did. "These hills are so beautiful," he murmured. "Do you come here often?"

"As often as I can." I looked out across them. The wildflowers were in bloom in the valleys and on the slopes of the hills, and everything was perfect. "It's like this place isn't even a part of the rest of the world, isn't it? When I'm our here, I feel like I can just be happy, and not think about having to return and what waits."

"What keeps you from spending forever here?" he asked me, looking around and taking in the scene. It was a good question, one I had been asking myself so much over the years.

"What keeps me in the manor at Llyr?" I clarified. He nodded. I let out a long sigh. "It's a long story, I suppose. But the main reason is that... I love this land. Llyr is my home. I was born here and my parents died here. I can't leave it." I looked down at the grass beneath my feet. I was bound to this land, and I loved it too much to leave it to Ariela. "Besides," I continued, even though I should have stopped before, "I don't think my parents would want me to run away."

"I'm sorry." Prince Brien climbed off his horse and took the reins in his hands. Then, he walked over and helped me down off my own horse. "The funny thing is, you and I are more alike than you'd think. I doubt my parents would want me to run away from my place either." He gave a half-hearted laugh and stared into the distance.

"You don't want to be a prince?" He shook his head at that.

"No, it's not like that. I want to be a prince. I love this land, and I want to do my best to help the people, to rule wisely. If I didn't, who would?" He had a good point. Without him, there were no other heirs to the throne. Prince Brien continued to talk as we walked along. "I just hate having to be conventional and proper all the time. I want to learn and ride my horse and investigate things. Once I am king, I'm going to change everything."

"Surely not everything," I reminded him. "There are so many things worth keeping. This kingdom couldn't survive without pillars to support it."

"It can't survive without change, either."

"I can agree to that," I told him in a lighter tone. Our conversation had become serious so quickly. Then I spotted something he would be interested in.

"In all your reading have you ever come across the tioron flower?" His eyes lit up.

"Where is it?" he was looking around. I pointed at the plant I had spotted. We went over to it and knelt down around a single brown flower in the middle of a cluster of thin, long leaves. The prince looked delighted. "I've never seen one before, but I've always wanted to. We don't grow them in the palace gardens because they're so plain looking, but their scent..." He bent down to smell the flower's fragrance. "It's every bit as wonderful as the books say it is." I smiled, glad he enjoyed it so much.

"It used to grow in the Llyr gardens, but Ariela had it taken out. It's not much to look at, but I always loved these flowers. They look so plain, but their scent more than makes up for it."

"It's strange how things appear to be one thing and turn out to be another," he mused. That certainly was true. At first, I thought that he would be a typical prince: interested in only matters of state and politics, willing to marry the most gorgeous girl he met. I expected him to be haughty, arrogant, rude, and condescending. I hadn't expected the prince I had met. I couldn't help but wonder why he wanted to go riding with a servant instead of visiting an heiress. He was very unconventional, but he was himself. I admired his ability to throw convention to the wind. Soon, I told myself, I would be the ruler of Llyr and then perhaps we could trade books from our libraries or talk of gardens and horses.

We kept walking until at last, he broke the silence. I had grown to used to the quiet during long days at work when Eidyia was busy. Prince Brien stopped walking and looked over at me. "I've never had a friend before, you know. I've never had anyone I could really talk to. Thank you." His words were honest, as was the look on his face. It made me smile, just knowing that I had helped him somehow, that I had taken away a part of that loneliness I had seen in him before. But he was not the only one who should be thankful.

"I should be thanking you, as well. No one else has ever understood like this..." Then, I found myself confessing to the feeling that had been plaguing me since he first spoke to me. "What I don't understand is why you chose to talk to me, of all people."

"Why do you keep asking me that?" he asked, his voice sounding a little sad. "I don't care if you were a servant or a countess or a princess, Mer-Dyrelle. You treat me like a human being. You don't put a mask on for a grand ball and try and convince me you're perfect. Talking with you here, I can forget for a while that I am a prince and that you're a servant and I actually feel human." He started walking again. I couldn't believe what he had just said.

"You are the most human person I've ever met," I murmured as we walked back to one of the hills. "You are a good person, your Highness."

"Please don't call me that," he begged, helping me swing back up onto my horse.

"Well then, what shall I call you?" I asked, curious as to how I should address the prince. He swung up into his saddle and put his boots through the stirrups, ready to ride again.

"Just call me Brien. That is my name. Although sometimes, you'd think Your Highness was my given name." I laughed at his remark and finally consented to his request.

"All right... Brien." It sounded so clipped at first, saying his name without the title before it. But then we began to talk again, and soon, the name sounded natural. I was addressing him as Brien without a care of what was proper. We rode on for hours, sometimes at a slow pace so we could talk, and sometimes just galloping across the hills. At last, we had to stop, because Brien had to return home.

He rode back with me almost the entire way to the manor. Just outside it, we stopped on the hill. Brien was smiling, his hair windblown and out of place. "Thank you," I told him, those two words saying everything.

"Thank you, Mer-Dyrelle," he returned. "I hope I can see you again."

"I know you will," I answered before I could stop myself. As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I registered my mistake and began to search for an excuse. Brien was staring at me, a confused look on his face. I explained my statement as best I could. "At least, that's what I hope. And hope is everything."

"Yes, it is," he said finally, and I knew he accepted my story. I hated lying to him, hated having to deceive him like this. "Farewell, Mer-Dyrelle, and may we meet again." With that, he was off, riding towards the road to Calaris. I watched him go, and felt even worse. I was no better than those other girls he thought masked themselves in order to win him. The thought almost upset until I reminded myself that I was the opposite of these girls. I was taking my mask off for this, and I wasn't trying to win the prince. All I needed to win was my freedom. As for Brien, I hoped that he would achieve his own freedom as well.