THE SORTING HAT SONG

THE SORTING HAT SONG

II

A million years or more ago,

When I was newly sewn,

There lived four Wizards of renown,

Whose names are unfortunately known:

Cold Gryffindor, from wild moor,

Fat Ravenclaw, from glen,

Three left feet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,

Sexy Slytherin, from fen,

They shared a bottle of rum and wine,

They hatched a careless plan,

To educate young Squibs and mudbloods,

Thus Hogwarts School began,

Now each of these four pains in the bums,

Formed their own house, The greedy scums

Each did value different virtues,

In the idiots they were to teach.

By Gryffindor, the ferrety were

Prized beyond the rest;

For Ravenclaw the flamboyant

Would always be the best;

For Hufflepuff, the dumbest ones were

Most worthy of admission

And alcoholic Slytherin,

Loved those of good ambition.

While still alive they did divide,

Their favourites from the throng,

Yet how to pick the pathetic ones

When they were drunk and gone?

'Twas Gryffindor who found the way,

He whipped me off his big head

The losers put some crap in me

So I could choose instead!

Now slip me over your large ears,

I've never been long,

I'll have a look at your IQ

And hope to God there's one

So I can ruin your destiny,

What a load of fun!

A/N: Yes! Another quick sorting hat song, (Re-vamped version of the one in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.) although the characteristics are reversed it does make sense (I hope) This one comes with a huge thankyou to none other than Wendilin the Weird. PLEASE REVIEW! THIS WAS ONLY WRITTEN FOR FUN, NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!

DISCLAIMER: HARRY POTTER, characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of Warner Bros. © 2001