Mark's friends all sat around Collins' apartment. They had briefly discussed going to The Life Café, but decided it wasn't the place to discuss such a serious topic. Besides, The Life was one of the places where Mark usually went to think, and they couldn't imagine what his reaction would be if he found them all congregated there together. Truth was, the group didn't all get together like this anymore, the reasons varied and vast.

Roger sat against the wall near the couch and examined the others. Maureen sat on the couch, her legs pulled up on the couch in a yoga position that made him cringe just looking at her. Next to her, Joanne sat, dressed in a black suit, her hair neatly pulled and knotted in the back. There was a distance between the two that caused Roger to wonder if they had been arguing before arriving at the apartment. Joanne was talking to Benny, who was sitting backwards in a folding chair next to the couch. Benny looked as if he pulled his wardrobe from a fashion magazine. Roger thought his clothes were hideous, but then looking down at his own wardrobe, of plaid pants and a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, he knew he had no right to judge.

Mimi soon came over and handed Roger a beer and slid down next to him. Mimi in his eyes was the most beautiful thing he ever saw. Her wild curly hair was pulled back into a loose ponytail and she had changed from her work clothes to a long shirt of Collins that she was wearing as a dress. Roger thought she looked sexier now than when she had come by the loft before work, and pulled her close to him, shooting a look to Benny without realizing it.

Collins walked over and handed out drinks to the others and sat down. They all sat in silence for a minute, no one really wanting to jump right it, but knowing they were there for a reason. Collins finally cleared his throat and started.

"Well I guess I'll start. I want to begin by saying thanks to everyone for coming by on such short notice…"

Maureen interrupted him and giggled, "This seems so official." Joanne backhanded her lightly and told her to shush. "Sorry, go on." She still was laughing while the others sent her nasty looks.

"Well, Roger and I are worried about Mark and we wanted to talk to you guys to see if maybe we can figure out what is wrong with him. He isn't acting like himself."

"What's going on?" Benny asked earnestly, not having really seen Mark since Angel's funeral eight months before.

"Well, for the past few months he has seemed really closed off, not doing wanting to do anything, not showing any emotion."

"Well that isn't unusual for Mark," Maureen chided in, "He has always been closed off."

"Yeah, but this is different." Roger answered Maureen looking at her. "He hasn't even talked to me, and usually no matter what, he tells me what is wrong." Mimi took his hand and rubbed his arm, comforting him.

"It's true, I mean all the times I'm at the loft visiting Roger, he never came out of his room to say hi. I usually ended up going over and knocking and barging in on him. He is always sitting there writing in a notebook and barely looks up." Mimi looked over at Roger, "I was starting to think he just didn't like me, so I stopped going after awhile."

Collins takes a gulp from his beer, "I'm sure that wasn't it, Mimi. There is something bothering him. Joanne, have you noticed it too?"

Joanne shifted in her seat a little. She had noticed it, but as far as Maureen knew, Mark and she only had limited encounters, no one knew about the secret lunches they shared. Mark would come uptown and meet her at her office and they would provide therapy to each other about the person they both loved, Maureen. During the time that Mark's other friends had notice his withdrawal, Joanne noticed an increase in the number of calls from Mark asking her to lunch. What had once been once a month, soon became weekly and recently twice a week. Joanne felt uncomfortable about the growth of the frequency of the outings, noting to herself that Mark seemed lethargic and sad. She asked him about it more than once, and he quickly justified it with excuses of working hard or not sleeping well.

She knew that Mark didn't want the others to know about their lunches, and she didn't really want to have to explain to Maureen. The lawyer side of her was telling her to keep quiet, and to keep Mark's confidentiality. Still, she knew the right thing to do was to tell the others. "Yeah, I noticed. He and I were having lunch last week and…"

"You and Mark had lunch?" Maureen reproached abruptly, "You never mentioned." Even Roger looked up surprised.

"Yeah, we did that sometimes. Just to talk about things," The sideways glanced she sent to Maureen told her not to ask anymore questions, and Maureen untangled her legs and sat back on the couch with her arms folded, pouting. "Anyway, we were having lunch and I asked him what was bothering him but he was very mum about it. I couldn't get anything out of him."

"How could you tell something was wrong?" Collins stood up while he asked and brought his empty beer bottle to the kitchen.

"Well, he looked more disheveled than usual, and he was really quiet and distant. I almost wondered why he wanted to go out in the first place. When he called he seemed so eager to get together, I had thought there was something he wanted to talk about it. But when we got there, he just stayed quiet and having a conversation with him was like pulling teeth." They all nodded in agreement, knowing exactly what she had meant, because they all had experienced it recently themselves.

"Well today was just scary." Maureen had finished pouting and leaned forward on the couch. "I called him up and asked him to come help me with a new scene I was working on for an audition." This time it was Joanne's turn to be surprised. "He rushed over and seemed really eager to help, so we started rehearsing, but suddenly he just got really quiet and…" She looked around the room, not wanting to continue. "He asked me what it was about him that made me turn to women." She took a deep breath and Joanne reached out her hand and held it tightly. "I told him it wasn't him, and that he should know that by now. He just shook his head and asked if he was a bad lover, or just repulsive in general. I didn't know how to answer him, no matter what I said to try and reaffirm to him that it wasn't him, he just kept asking me questions abusing himself more." She started talking softer, her voice breaking as she continued. "I went over to him and gave him a hug, to comfort him, you know? I kissed his cheek and then he started kissing me, hard. I pulled back from him as soon as I realized what he was doing and he got upset, called me a tease and stormed off. I had never seen that side of him before." Joanne put her arm around Maureen and pulled her close to her, stroking her hair.

"Well that would explain the mood he was in when he came back today." Roger stood up, rubbing his legs to circulate the blood that seemed to stop. "You're right, I had never seen him like that before either. It was as if there was someone else inside of Mark. There was no reasoning with him. He wasn't in control."

"He's bi-polar." The others turned to Benny, who was looking at the floor.

"What?" Maureen wanted to know.

"The same thing, the moodiness, the self-loathing, all of it. That is why he left school." They all looked at Benny as the processed what he was saying. "He tried killing himself. They gave him medication, he was supposed to be ok." He rubbed the back of his neck. "He asked me along time ago not to tell any of you. He wanted a fresh start."

"Oh my God." Maureen muttered what they all were feeling. The tears flowed freely now. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't know, Maureen, I don't know." Collins spoke as he buried his face in his hands, fighting back his own tears.