THE 7 FAN-FICS OF HELL

Prologue

Long before humans lived, dragons were not the only rulers
of the planet. Giant birds with long crimson wings burned the sky with
their strong fires. The dragons feared that these majestic birds, these
Phoenixes, would destroy or enslave all the dragons. So they gave the
Phoenixes all their powers to show that the birds were superior. The
Phoenixes took this gift and bestowed this on themselves, and died. For
the power that they bestowed on themselves backfired like the dragons
planned, and swallowed every one of them up. Except one, the head
Phoenixes daughter, she did not trust the dragons and went into hiding.
She got all the Knowledge of the dragons and stored it in a single
feather. The dragons never mentioned anything about this event and they
never will. But after the evaluation humans some humans found this
ancient Phoenix and learned from it. And on her deathbed she asked them
to wait for her human reincarnation to reclaim the power she is leaving
behind. But when she came to reclaim her power they must give her seven
tests to make sure she is the one. But after thousands of years of
waiting she came but something happened and she died, until she came
again once more.


Long ago before Lina, Guorry, Amelia, or Zelgadis were born, another
small red-headed girl wandered the planet searching for powerful magic.
She called herself J-Chan, no one knew her full name and anyone who found
out her full name... would soon die a strange and horrible death soon
after. No one knew of her past, her family, or her age... except for one
person, T-main. She used to be A Magic Teacher for rich children. But one
day some spoiled kid pissed her of so she did a small Shaman on the kid.
The kid wasn't hurt, until he fell out of the castle window...six stories
up. Now T-main is wanted for murder, there is actually six Billion
dollars on her head. Actually three quarters of that money is her food
bill from across the land. It was about five years before J-Chan beat up
a very powerful, high honored, famous, dangerous, brilliant, perverted
sorcerer. He told her about a legend of the forbidden power which stopped
her from killing him. This power was hers, yet she did not quite know it.
Through the Valley of Deadly Cute Things is where the story starts. . . .
.


"J-CHAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaan, STOOOOOOOP!"
J-Chan turned around to see what T-main was griping about. "What."
"Where are we going, I'm hungry, I'm tired, I NEED TO RELIEVE MYSELF."
"(Sigh) there is a rock over there, and there, and there . . . wait a
minute . . .we're in a valley! WERE SURRONDED BY ROCKS!"
" What does that have to do with me relieving myself?"
" T-main, see that rock?"
" Could you point to it? There ARE a lot of rocks here." J-Chan pointed
to a huge rock that was right next to her.
"That rock, and as you can see it's big enough to hide you from nothing
in this valley because no one is here and everything is dead."
"Done!"
" You went that quick?"
" Yeah I didn't need to that bad." J-Chan made her I'm-pissed-so-don't-
do-anything-stupid-for-a-while-face. " T-main, I'm pissed. Please don't
do anything stupid for a while."
" I know, I know, I could tell by your face. And oh yeah look what I
found." T-main took out a red and blue ball
"What is it?"
"I don't know but I think this white thing in the middle is some kind of
button."
" Well don't press it." It was to late, T-main pressed the button and out
came some kind of yellow mouse slash rabbit. J-Chan gasped at first site
of the hideously cute... thing.
"The rumors were true! T-main we have to kill it."
T-main quickly grabbed the hideously cute monster.
"No! It's just a hideously cute it little mouse and look at its eyes,
it's to cute to harm."

As T-main held the mouse she did not notice she was strangling it.
"PI . . .KA . . ."
" Oh my god, it talks cute too! Come on say something else!" The little
mouse had enough
" Pika-CHUUUUUU"
A bolt of lightning stuck T-main. J-Chan made no hesitation, " GAVE-FLARE
" *WOOSH sizzle*
" T-main are you OK! "
T-main got up slowly
"NO but... IT"S STILL MOVING"
T-main started kicking the half burnt mouse while it made this funny
noise.
"Piheeee, Piheee."
" OK T-main, that's enough."
" Gasp, Gasp* OK lets go on, stupid mou... Oh my god! J-CHAN BEHIND YOU" J-
Chan turned to see some kind of pink thing that was more hideously cuter
than the mouse chanting something.
" Clefairy, Clefairy"
"I am not taking any chances, Fire-ball" T-main looked at J-Chan with a
worried face.
" What's going on" J-Chan looked at T-main seriously. " I heard that
nobody comes in this valley because it's full of Hideously Cute Animals
That Kill Anyone Who Enter. "
" Why didn't you tell me? " J-Chan looked at T-main.
" Because I really didn't believe that stupid story until now, and it may
be days until we find the entrance to the Phoenix temple."
T-main made a weird face. "What temple, hey, just where are we going,
didn't you say we were going to the town of Camarillo?" J-Chan looked at
T-main annoyed.
" I told you while we were walking out of the last town we were in."
" You mean when you we mumbling something to yourself about a temple. "
"I was not mumbling... I was... mumbling, now lets go and get this over
with."

A few hours later . . .
"Hey were here"
J-Chan stopped and looked at a temple carved out a rock with a phoenix
like design on the face of it. T-main walked happily behind her eating
the rest of her unfortunate meal.
"Wow, these cute animals taste really good."
J-Chan took a bite "Hey, and right down to the last bite!."
" Yeah, this is the best meat in the world... hey why didn't we fly to get
here? It would have been a lot quicker."
" In the legend I also heard that there was some kind of shield thingy
and if you flew over it you were struck by some invisible force and you
would plunge to a rocky death."
" Oh... so what do we do now?"
" Find a way in but that won't be a pro- " J-Chan was suddenly
interrupted by a voice more annoying than Macy Grey, Cher, and the Spice
Girls singing 'It's raining men' with the Rob Zombie band playing in the
back round.
" Stop evil Pokemon killers."
J-Chan turned around to see a boy surrounded by horribly cute animals."
" I'm Ash Kecthum of Pallet Town and-." Ash was interrupted By T-Main
"Wait, is that your name or are you literally ash."
Ash looked confused " My name IS Ash"
"Oh, you poor thing! What monster of a mother would name their child Ash!
Do you want to cry?"
Ash was starting to get angrier than he already was.
"Listen you monsters, *starting to cry* you will be punished for what you
did. And with the power of friendship and love I have with these Pokemon
I will-" Ash was cut of by T-main's sudden burst of laughter.
"Bwahahaha, hahaha, I'm sorry keep going ahahahaha."
Ash was starting to turn red. " With the power of Love and friendship
that-" He was cut of by another sudden burst of laughter again this time
J-Chan.
"hehehe, Bwahahaha giggle... I'm soooo sorry hehahahah Please continue."
"WITH THE POWER OF LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP-" Ash was interrupted by both of
their laughter, "Bwahahahahahaha hehehehehehe"
"That is it! Pika-Chu I choose you."
With those words another yellow mouse jumped onto his shoulder. T-main's
voice went from sounding happy to having the voice of Chichi and Xena
warrior princess, pissed of.
"Stand back J-Chan I'll handle this." As T-main brought out her beating
stick a huge balloon flew over them and steam started spewing from it.
"Ha, ha, prepare for trouble"
"And make it double" ash looked up " It's Team Rocket."

To protect the
world from devastation
To unite all
people within our nation
To denounce the
evil of truth and love
To extend our
reach to the stars above

Jessie

James
Team rocket blast
of at the speed of light
Surrender now
or prepare to fight

Meowth that's right



"Team rocket what are you doing here?"
Jessie and James just stared at the boy "What?"
"OK Ash, think, what is the reason why we always come after you?"
" Um... well, YOR NOT GETTING PIKA-CHU TEAM ROCKET!"
Jessie and James started clapping "Very good Ash"
"Shut up Team Rocket, now beat it."
Jessie smiled, "I'm afraid we can't do that Ash."
All of a sudden a cat jumped up from the balloon and started talking.
"You see Ash, we figure since were in a fan-fic we can get violent and
say words like asshole and go *#$! Your mom."
"Hey I don't do that anymore so shut up!"
Everybody just stared at Ash while Pika-Chu climbed off of Ash's
shoulder.
"That's sick kid."
" Well I'm not afraid of you guys. You probably still have your same
Pokemon and I have mine including some from the valley. So it's like
fifty to two, three if you include Meowth, so why don't you just give up
now?" James and Jessie laughed then Jessie turned to Ash
"We have improved on our battling skills and you're going down,
literally."
" Oh yeah, well let's see what you've got."
"How bout a bullet"
"Huh, I've never heard of a Pokemon called bullet."
Jessie pulled out a gun. "And you never will" *BAM* Ash was down on the
ground.
Jessie turned to James.
"James, will you do the honors."
James pulled out a pad with a big red button on it.
"I thought you'd never ask" James pressed the button and the Giant
balloon shot out bubbles witch caught all the pokemon in it including
Pika-Chu. They were then sucked into the balloon and carried of to the
boss of Team Rocket where they will be sold and butchered.

Just after the balloon sucked in the Pokemon and flew of a red headed
girl ran to the body of Ash and cried with all her heart. "Ash *sob* oh
Ash, what about my bike? WHAT ABOUT MY B-I-K-E!"

While all this drama was going on the two sorceresses sat in the back
drinking ice cold Pepsi. (Pepsi, the drink that every sorcerer and demon
drinks, drink or die.) T-Main turned to J-Chan.
"J-Chan, were did we get these refreshing ice cold drinks from? They
really quench my thirst!"
"I don't know, but these drinks really hit the spot after all the
traveling."
"J-Chan?"
"Yes T-Main"
"Then why are we talking about them?"
" . . .I don't know nor do I seem to care, if it's poison I'd care. And I
think I know it's not poison."
"Oh yeah you with the whole Bigger-Evil-Sadist-brother thing." J-Chan's
face went pale. "I don't want to talk about it. Right now we must enter
that temple get whatever power awaits us."
"Then we eat?"
"And then we eat."