The sun was shining brightly, as it usually did in Florida, but Kimberly Hart was in no mood to notice. Sunday was her one off-day in her almost obsessive practicing for the Pan-Globals, and she had intended to spend it out cavorting in the sun with her friends. But last night had been her weekly phone call to Tommy- God, she missed communicators. No long-distance bills- and she'd gone to bed in a deeply contemplative mood that had still been there when she awoke.
There was a time that I was sure
That you and I were truly one,
That our love would last forever
And would never come undone.
She'd spent
the day going over her memories, of Tommy and of Angel Grove, and most
especially of the wild and wonderful roller-coaster ride that had been
her tenure as the first Pink Power Ranger of Earth. She'd loved every minute
of it, the danger and the filth notwithstanding, just as she'd loved Tommy.
With a sigh, Kim conceeded that those two things were firmly entangled
in her mind, and always would be. Tommy had always been, for her, a symbol
of Rangering; of its essence. Of its heart.
Tommy,
her noble Green hero, risking life and limb to redeem himself from a crime
that was never his. A lost and frightened man who had invited only herself
and Jason into the real person, the person behind the mask.
Her White
knight, a hero in shining armor- okay, spandex- who had led the team with
courage and conviction, a man who had finally found peace with himself.
This had
been the man Kimberly had loved, and she HAD loved him. With everything
in her, and with a strength so great, it had seemed impossible that it
would ever end.
And we came so close to being close,
And though you cared for me,
There's distance in your eyes tonight,
So we're not meant to be.
Kim looked
at the picture on her dresser and sighed. It was the newest one- Rocky
had sent it to her just after the changeover to Zeo, saying that she "ought
to have some idea of how Tommy looked now that he wasn't going around in
a stain magnet." The former Pink Ranger's mouth quirked slightly at the
memory of some of the OTHER comments Rocky had made about the symbolism
of Tommy's former color. Two or three in particular had turned Adam almost
purple.
In a way,
she supposed, the picture had started the train she was currently riding.
Oh, Tommy looked as handsome as ever, his smile still that brilliant flash
that was capable of stopping her heart and heating her blood to the boiling
point. It was just… his eyes. They were distant, as if he was thinking
about something else, something far more important than a girlfriend who
was the width of a continent away.
The love is gone, the love is gone.
The sweetest dream that we have ever known.
The love is gone, the love is gone.
I wish you well, but I must leave you now alone.
Did Tommy
even love her anymore? They still ended every phone call with the traditional
words, but to her mind, they seemed perfunctory, a habit adhered to simply
from reluctance to change. Reluctance… or maybe fear. Kim had no qualms
about Tommy's fidelity to her. Even with a beautiful blonde like Kat at
his side, she KNEW that Tommy would never betray her like that. After what
Rita did to him, Tommy Oliver considered trust more precious than gold,
and betrayal a crime like none other on Earth. No, Tommy would be faithful
to her until he died, or the relationship did. But did he still LOVE her?
Did she
still love him?
There comes a moment in your life,
Like a window and you see
Your future there before you
And how perfect life can be.
When Gunther
Schmidt had chosen her to train for the Pan-Global Games, she'd been on
top of the world. Her lifelong dream was coming true; it seemed as though
she'd had everything she'd ever wanted. Even having to leave the Rangers
seemed worth it- much as she loved the adventure, she knew Kat would do
as good a job, if not better. And just because she was leaving the Rangers
didn't mean she was leaving her friends. There were phones, and letters,
and e-mail, (mainly with Billy,) so she could always keep in touch. And
for a few months, it had seemed as if perfection was just within her grasp.
Last night's
call, though, had been the final blow that sent the house of cards crashing
down.
But adventure calls with unknown voices
Calling you away.
"Are you
all right, Tommy? You sound tired."
"Just
business, Kim. Mondo sent down a giant hairdryer. I thought of you, of
course…" The grin was audible in his voice.
"HEY!"
"But seriously,
it was a toss-up between laughing our heads off, or getting our butts kicked.
The thing was stupid-looking, but it was a real threat." He grunted. "You
have no idea how much I miss Zedd and his animated lava lamps sometimes."
"I believe
it. Listen, I might be getting a week off next month… I was thinking maybe
I could come home for a visit?"
"That's
great! We're all dying to see you again. I don't think I'm the only one
considering sneak-teleporting to Florida."
Her tone
was playfully chiding. "No using the powers for personal gain, remember."
"Yes,
Mommy." On the other end of the line there was a familiar six-note-chime,
as familiar to her as her own name. Tommy let out a muffled curse, in a
language Kim was POSITIVE was not Earth-based.
"Kim,
I gotta go… duty calls. You know how it is."
She did
know, and so she let him go with complete understanding. It wasn't until
she'd hung up the phone that she realized she'd finally lost him.
Be careful or you may regret
The choice you make someday,
She'd lost
him to his first, strongest love, far more powerful than anything they
had ever shared. Kat, with all her blonde beauty and giving heart, had
never been a threat, but she'd lost Tommy to her rival anyway.
Rangering.
He loved
the job-- he WAS the job. Being a Ranger was as necessary to him as breathing.
And while she had loved it, she hadn't defined herself by it… and she'd
always dimly considered the possibility that there would come a time when
she couldn't do it anymore. For Tommy, such an idea was unthinkable.
Everything
coming clear now, Kim let out a slightly bitter laugh. They'd been in competition
for his heart all this time… and she had lost. She only hoped Tommy was
strong enough not to let the job eat him alive, because in a way, she still
loved him.
When love is gone, when love is gone.
The sweetest dream that we have ever known.
The love is gone, the love is gone.
I wish you well, but I must leave you now alone.
Kimberly
Hart had never been one to refuse to face facts. Her relationship with
Tommy was over, and probably had been for some time. They'd just both been
too blind and stubborn to recognize the ruins of what they'd had, smouldering
between them.
They were
over. To continue would be a sham, a masquerade, and the deception would
eventually eat them both alive. Tommy would never end it, she knew; for
all his courage on the battlefield, some things were simply too frightening
for him to face. Loneliness was one of them.
It was almost love.
It was almost always.
It was like a fairy tale we'd live out, you and I.
Kim fell back onto her bed, tears stinging in her eyes. She HAD loved him, with all the fire and passion a teenager could muster. Memories assailed her, of picnics and walks in the park, of being rescued by her gallant white knight and sometimes rescuing him in turn. Their love had been real and true, and incandescently bright, as only those who live constantly with the shadow of death can love. It had been a fairy tale, and that, perhaps, had been the problems. Fairy tales were all well enough in books, but real life was something else all together.
And yes, some dreams come true,
And yes, some dreams fall through,
And yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye.
She cried herself out, not trying to stop the tears. She grieved for the past, in all its beauty, and for the pain she knew her decision would cause. Would cause them both. But most of all, she grieved for the bright dreams she and Tommy had shared, dreams of home and family and a sparkling brilliant future that had, in the end, been only a dream after all.
And yes, some dreams come true,
And yes, some dreams fall through,
And yes, the time has come for us to say goodbye.
After a
long time, after her sobs had slowed and hitched to a stop, she rose from
her bed. There was only one course of action now, and putting it off would
only cause her to lose her nerve. She had to do it now… which meant she
couldn't do it over the phone. The impersonal nature of a letter made her
wince, but she couldn't trust herself to wait until next Saturday, the
only time she could be sure of catching Tommy by phone. And even if she
could, she wasn't sure if, hearing his voice once again, her resolve might
not crumble to dust.
Crossing
to her desk, she pulled out a sheet of stationery and a pen. Taking a deep
breath, she stared at the paper for a long time. Then, slowly, she began
to write.
"Dear
Tommy,…"
The End
