Note: This is a collaboration project between my friend, Pam, and I. So keep in mind that this is my work as well as Pam's! Oh, and I know someone else has done Snow White and the Seven Moogles, but, well, this is waaaay different and it's something that has been floating around in our little twisted minds for quite some time now, so... Yeah. R&R and enjoy! Oh, and as for the bit of Kuja bashing... I'm allowed to do that, because I love him! So there! (Act 2) (Enter Ruby) Ruby: It didn't take long fer King Kuja ta come up with a plan ta off Snow White--a plan that didn't require dirtyin' his own clean hands, of course. (Exit Ruby) (We are now directed to another gloomy part of the castle, but this time it is the throne room. Kuja is sitting on his throne, fingers drumming the arms of the chair idly... Or is it expectantly?) Kuja: He should be here by now... Any minute... Ack! (He suddenly jumps, examining the nails on his left hand intensely.) Damn... I chipped a nail... I must be stressed. No! ! can't be stressed! Stress gives you wrinkles! Great... Now I'm stressing over wrinkles! Or am I stressing over stress? (Off stage, voices can be heard, and an all too familiar theme begins to play...) (O.S.) We are in trouble! (O.S.) Trouble are we in! Kuja (Cringes): Oh no... (O.S.) We must hurry to see King Kuja! (O.S.) Hurry to see King Kuja must we! Kuja: Don't tell me... (O.S.) The way, that is not! (O.S.) I know it is not the way! (O.S.) Really, do you? (O.S.) I really do! (O.S.) I really wonder sometimes... (O.S.) The time to wonder now is not! (O.S.) We must hurry! (O.S.) Hurry must we! (The doors to the throne room burst open, allowing the "Jesters of the Moon" theme to blare into the room, followed shortly by the jesters themselves.) Kuja: Shut the door! (Zorn and Thorn instantly scramble to close the door, shutting out the music, which continues to play faintly in the background.) (Clearly irritated, Kuja claps his hands twice and the elegant piano music that is his theme begins to play, drowning out Thorn and Zorn's music.) Kuja: Ah... Much better. Anyway... What brings you two here on such short notice... and looking so alive, as well? I could have sworn Zidane killed you. Zorn: Kill us he did! Thorn: But what about you? Zorn: Dead are you supposed to be! Kuja (Smugly): Oh, but the last save point in the game is right before my final battle, so, you see, I am really still quite alive. Besides, since people love me so much, it's only natural that they'd want to revive and restore me, no? And, so they have. (Shrugs) You two, on the other hand, have no such excuse. Zorn: ... Kuja: But, that's beside the point. Why are you here, anyway? I saw nothing in the script about you... Zorn: A guest appearance, we have made! Kuja (Dryly): Wonderful, just what I-- Wait a minute! Thorn, aren't you the one who is supposed to speak backwards? Thorn: We switched roles. Kuja: ...I see... Zorn: An announcement, have we! Thorn: Your guest has arrived! Kuja: Oh? Zorn: Waiting at the doors, is she! Kuja (sighs): And so why didn't you show her-- Wait! He's a she? Zorn: Fetch her now, will we! Thorn: We will fetch her now! (Zorn and Thorn scamper out) Kuja (Rubbing his temples): I am surrounded by idiots... (Shortly after, a young woman enters, dressed in rather suggestive clothes. She carries a very large ax with her) Kuja: You're the hunter...? Lani: It's huntress, to you. (Catches him eyeing her and rolls her eyes) What? Does a little cleavage offend you? Kuja (Blushing): No, not at all! Er, I mean... No! Lani (Yawns): Good. That makes it better for the both of us. Anyway, you had a little problem you wanted to be eliminated? Kuja (Keeping his eyes averted): Yes. If you would be so kind as to eliminate my step-daughter, it would be most appreciated. Lani (Feeling the blade of her ax absently): Yeah, sure. You want her whole or dismembered? Kuja (Makes a face): Either. Just... do it away from the castle, alright? In the forest... Take her to pick flowers or something. And I don't want details, just proof. (hands Lani a box with intricate designs on it) Put her heart in this box and bring it back to me. And... Keep it shut. I work hard to keep this place sterile as it is. Lani (Mock bowing): Aye aye! My ax will be most pleased... (Exits) (End act 2) *~*~*~*~*~* So, whatcha think? Like? No Like? Want us to continue? R&R and tell us what you think! No flames, though! Oh, and I promise you, the third act will be waaaay better. Personally, I really didn't like this one, but that's just me! =^.^= *~Rhiannon McHugh and Pam Broderick~* |
