Raine Waited
She lay in her bed, propped up by pillows. Try as she might, she couldn't sit up on her own.
She was so tired. She just wanted to close her eyes and let sleep come. But she knew that it wouldn't be sleep that came.
Her long dark hair hung loose, limp and unkempt. It wasn't really her fault. She had just had a baby.
He was crying in his bed right now. Softly, she called his name. As if by magic, his crying stopped.
The midwife hurried in, alerted by the noise. "Are you all right? Do you need anything?"
Everyone knew she was going to die. She knew it too. It was inevitable. Right now, she didn't really care.
Yes, she felt like saying, I need my husband to come home. I need Laguna here with me, to hold me and tell me that everything will be all right. I need him to hold my hand while I die. Yes, I know I'm going to die. And I want Laguna here with me, damn it!
But she didn't say that. Meekly, she looked up at the midwife. "Could I please hold my son?"
"Of course." The midwife said sadly. Raine could see the tears in her eyes. She sighed and took the blanket-wrapped Squall.
"I'd like to be alone, please." Raine told her, not unkindly, but certainly dismissing her. She left the room and shut the door behind her.
Raine held Squall carefully, when all she wanted to do was hold him tightly and never let go. If she held him, maybe she wouldn't die. Maybe she could wait until Laguna came home.
Squall opened his eyes, and Raine smiled. He had blue eyes. Just like her.
All babies had blue eyes, but she knew that his would stay blue. Forever.
Now that Squall was in his mother's arms, he cried no longer, but instead looked up at her inquisitively.
"Squall," she began in a soft voice. "I'm sorry, but I have to leave you. I don't want to. Hyne only knows how much I don't want to go. But it's not a choice I can make." Her voice cracked.
Damn. Why did she have to cry now? She needed to be strong for her son. Her blue eyes welled up with tears, and she blinked, trying to keep the tears from falling.
It was no use. The tears trickled down her cheek, falling onto the baby's face. He blinked up at his mother sorrowfuly, of course not understanding what was happening.
Raine did not cry for herself at first. She cried for the fate of her son and for Ellone, who she loved as much as a daughter, more if it was possible. She knew that if she could think in the next world, she would miss her dearly.
"Laguna..." she said softly, in a broken little voice. "Please...come home."
She knew he couldn't hear her. No one could hear her now.
Wrapping the sheet around her, she sat up on her own with an effort. She carefully swung her legs over the side of her bed, nearly fainting with the pain. Then she stood up, trying to ignore her protesting muscles. Slowly and carefully stepped over the bloodsoaked rags on the floor. No one had come in to clean yet. They were probably waiting for her to die, so they would only have to clean up one mess of blood and ruined cloth.
There'd be a body, too, of course. She giggled, not knowing exactly why.
Raine made her way to Squall's crib, and gently kissed his forehead, right between his eyes.
"Squall, I want you to grow up and be strong. I want you to help others who cannot help themselves, and be a good person. I want you to fall in love, and get married, and live a long happy life. Please, don't hate me for leaving you. I will always be watching you. I love you, Squall."
Very gently, she placed the baby back into his bed. He was sound asleep. For the last time, she smiled fondly over him.
She got back into bed, and covered herself with the blankets. She smoothed her hair and closed her eyes.
And then, Raine waited.
~fin~
