Not the Outcome One Hoped For
Sleep was slow in coming to her and when it did, it was not peaceful. His words ringing through her head, over and over again. "I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington." And now never again would she. Dream of him courting her that is.
The sound of the other gentlemen laughing made her blood run cold. She had never been popular but the idea of someone courting her was not that amusing. Then they all turned to face her, their laughter increasing. That was when Colin locked eyes with her and she woke in a cold sweat.
She didn't have the ability to assure herself that it was just a nightmare as some of it had actually happened. In fact, the only part of it that had not happened was that the group did not know that she had been behind them and had heard everything.
A noise outside had her scramble from her bed to look out her bedroom window. Cousin Jack was packing his things in a carriage with the help of a couple of staff under the watchful eye of Lady Featherington. Disappointment flooded over her. He had been the one family member who hadn't treated her as a joke. As it turned out, he had been fooling everyone.
Movement from across the street caught her eye. Glancing over she saw Colin watching the scene unfolding in front of her home. Then just as in her nightmare, he locked eyes with her. A shudder ran through her entire body before she tore away from his gaze. She looked back at the actions happening in front of her house just in time to see Cousin Jack take a key chain from his vest pocket and hand it over to her mama. The keys to their home no doubt. This night had been so overwhelming and not in a good way.
Sighing sadly, she threw on a wrap over her nightgown and went out into the back garden. Perhaps some fresh air would help her sleep. This had to be the worst season yet. She had not had high expectations and still they had failed to be met. How was that even possible?
Somehow, she had managed to finish the season by losing her best friend, becoming even more unpopular than when the season started and any hopes regarding Colin dashed seconds after they had been raised. This had to be an all-time low, even for her.
Letting out a pent out breath she cast a look over the moonlit garden. Shaking her head as she came to the realization that even the flowers in the garden were all citrus colours. What was her mama's fascination with colours that her family should stay well away from?
This evening had left a lot for her to consider. Should she continue with Lady Whistledown now that Eloise knew her secret? What were her options since she had no desire to continue living with her family and yet no one was attempting to court her either. Perhaps she could use her writing in another way. First things first, she needed to stop wearing so much yellow. That certainly was not helping her courting potential. A plan needed to be formed because she did not want to finish another season miserable.
A sound from behind her alerted her that she had a visitor. Since it was highly unlikely that it was any member of her family, she assumed it was the dog. It wasn't until he murmured her name that she realised it was Colin.
"What are you doing here?" For once in her life, she was not happy to see him. And she didn't have the energy to fake that she was.
"I wanted to make sure you were alright now that your cousin is gone." He knew this had to be difficult for her but usually she was delighted to see him. It was obvious that wasn't the case at this moment and he wasn't sure why.
"Why should he be any different to anyone else? I made the mistake of thinking I finally had someone who did not consider me a joke and I was wrong." It was a bitter pill to taste.
Colin cautiously took a step closer. "You are not a joke. I have never thought that of you." It pained him to see her so unhappy.
"Do not lie to me Colin." She already felt like a big enough fool. "You were laughing heartedly enough when you announced you would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington." She refused to cry in front of him. He would never know how deeply he had wounded her.
"Pen." He had never seen her display the temper that redheads were known for. Yet she had every right to be angry. There had never been any intention on his part that she hear that comment or feel that he felt anything but the upmost respect for her. "It is not what you think."
"That I was foolish enough to believe you really cared for me? Do not concern yourself. I rarely make the same mistake twice." She moved to head back in the house since she clearly was not going to achieve what she had come out here for.
He couldn't let her leave like this. Reaching out as she walked past him, he pulled her into his arms. "I was not making fun of you." He had to concentrate not to lose himself in her big blue eyes. "The others saw tonight what I have seen for months. I did not want the competition for your affections, so I said the first thing that came to mind."
"You do not honestly expect me to believe that." She was furious at herself for how badly she wanted to believe him and how her body was craving for him to pull her closer.
Searching her eyes, he found himself wanting her desperately. Before he realised what he was doing, he bent down and kissed her. Once he had kissed her, he couldn't seem to stop. His hands seemed to have a mind of their own pulling her closer. Somewhere in the back of his brain he recalled he was a gentleman and should not be with a young lady in her nightgown or alone with her at this time of night in her garden.
Pulling back reluctantly he saw Penelope was as shocked by his behaviour as he was. "I'm sorry."
Barking out a short bitter laugh Penelope shook her head. "Of course, you are." She headed back into the house.
Stunned at what had just happened, Colin found he was too late to explain he wasn't sorry he had kissed her. He was sorry about what she had overheard and that she thought it was how he really felt about her. And yet the one solitary thought going through his head right now was: When had he fallen in love with Penelope Featherington?
