For Materia or Love Part 3

For Materia or Love Part 3

By Yuffie Valentine

Cloud awoke. His hair was messed, he could taste alcohol on his breath, and once again he was naked.

"Oh shit!" What the hell happened last night?" Cloud asked himself. He couldn't remember anything. "Where the hell is Yuffie?" She was nowhere to be found in the room. He got up and looked around the hotel room, looking in to bathroom he say her passed out in the bathtub. She had all her clothes on and they seemed like she slept in them.

"Yuffie! Wake up." Cloud said Her eyes came gently open, adjusting to the morning sun. Looking up at she could see that he was undressed.

"CLOUD PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON DAMN IT!" she cried out. Cloud grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around himself.

"Yuffie, what happen between us last night?" Cloud asked.

Yuffie sat up in the tub, "Well, after you got to 2nd base, you decide to get drunk. You then wanted to go to sleep. So I let you have the bed and slept in here."

"Yeah, well, why am I naked?" Cloud asked.

"You always sleep naked when you're happy." Yuffie said. After she saw her error, she covered her mouth.

"How do you know that?" Cloud said.

"Ummm, I guessed?" Yuffie said. She smiled cutely hoping to get off the hook.

"Yuffie?" Cloud asked. He gave her his puppy dog eyes.

"Okay, I'll tell you. A few nights when I was raiding your materia, and when I came in you were sleeping naked." Yuffie said. She turned away from Cloud to hide her plush.

"WHAT?" Cloud asked.

"Don't worry, I never stole anything or saw anything." Yuffie said. Which was a dirty lie since she once stared at his uncovered chest for a half hour this one time. She was only human.

"Fine, we better get out of here. The others might be worried." Cloud said. He went into the other room and got dressed.

Yuffie sighed. It was best that he didn't know how his clothes really got off. She could still see him running up and down the halls of the hotel naked as an animal yelling out 'Look at me, look at me!' Waking the rest of the guests and giving them an eye full as they looked out their doors. Cloud certainly was childish when drunk of his ass.

"Come on Yuffie, let's go!" Cloud called from the other room. She crawled out of the bathtub. She grabbed her purse and they were out of the hotel room.

Mr. Hangman looked down from his post at the ceiling. He was reading the newspaper. It was a pity that hotel would be labeled a smut place now. Looking down he saw Yuffie and Cloud leaving the hotel. He stopped the room key in Yuffie's hand. He dropped down right by her.

"Excuse me Miss, I need your key." He put his hand out for the key.

"AHHHHHHHHH" Yuffie screamed. She fainted to the floor.

"Why does she keep doing that?" Mr. Hangman asked.

"I don't know." Cloud said. He picked up the key and handed it to Mr. Hangman. He then lifted Yuffie into his arms. He carried her up to the landing pad. All the crew there stopped when the stepped on the pad. They grinned; they were all readers of the Junon Paper.

"What's up with them?" Cloud wondered. He got aboard the ship. "Well Yuffie, you'll be asleep; so you can't get sick." He laughed to himself. He placed her in one of the chairs on the bridge. He started up the Highwind for home.

Vincent and Barret were walking through Rocket town comparing their new guns. As they reached Cid's house, they noticed half of it was in a pile of stone and walling.

"What happen here?" Vincent asked Barret.

"THAT LITTLE NINJA SLUT!" a voice cried out from in the house.

"That's never a good sign. Come on let's go see what is happening." Barret said. Him and Vincent walked into the frame of where the door uses to be.

"Hey Cid, what happen?" Vincent asked. Cid was curled up in a little ball on the floor. He stuck his hand up which was grasping a newspaper. Vincent removed it and read the headline. "Oh, I see"

Barret looked over, "Wow, look at Cloud! His hair came out really nice looking in this one." Barret said.

"Barret, look what he is doing in the picture." Vincent said. Pointing to a picture of Cloud and Yuffie sharing a passionate on a bed. Barret's eyes widen. "Wait, I thought that was some other girl, but that's Yuffie."

"Hmm, never pinned her for the easy type." Vincent said.

"You should have seen what a caught them doing yesterday." Cid said from his position on the floor. Tifa pops up out of nowhere.

"YOU KNEW ABOUT THEM?" Tifa screamed at Cid. He cried out as she kicked him in the ribs, " YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Tifa, calm down. This is probably so kind of misunderstanding!" Vincent said. Just then the Highwind landed.

"I guess we're going to find out now." Barret said. Cloud leaps off the Highwind and lands in front of the house. Yuffie is asleep in his arms.

"DIE!" Tifa charges at Cloud. Barret, Vincent, and Cid have to hold her back.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked. Cid holds up the paper to Cloud's face. After a second or two, he faints.

"What a wuss." Cid said. He and Barret picked up the two unconsciouses bodies and took them into the remaining part of the house. While Yuffie and Cloud rest in separate bedrooms, the rest of the gang is sitting out in the living room.

"Why would Cloud faint unless he didn't do it?" Red XIII.

"True, I think it was a set up." Vincent sipped his coffee.

"It is true, Cloud always faints when the thought of actual sex comes into play." Tifa said. This fact had calmed her down.

"What a wuss." Cid said.

"I think it's funny, I mean how did you ever get that boy into bed Tifa?" Barret said with a chuckle.

"I didn't." Tifa said, "He always chickened out at the last moment."

"Well, if that true, and we know Aeris would never go that far that fast. That means Cloud is a virgin." Barret said. The group was silent for a second, and then they busted out in laughter.

"What a loser." Cid chuckled. Then they stopped when they heard a sniffle from behind them. They turned back to see Cloud standing in the doorway. He looked like he was going to cry. He stood there for another second before running off.

"CLOUD! Wait!" Tifa ran after him followed by Cid. The three disappeared into Rocket town.

"Well, what do we do know?" Vincent asked Red and Barret. They all heard a yawn from the girls' room.

"You know, Yuffie is just as in the dark as Cloud is." Red said, "I mean think about, she's been on the road all her life. She might not know fully about this stuff. Her father never gave her 'the talk'."

"Yeah true, maybe since we're like her family now, one of us can give it to her." Barret said. Him and Red both turned looking right at Vincent.

"Oh no, I'm not doing it." Vincent said. But it was too late.

Yuffie was sitting in bed; she looked around to make sure no dead people on ropes would be dropping down anytime soon. A knock came at the door. "Who is it?'

Vincent came in being pushed by Barret and Red. They left Vincent in there and closed the door behind them as they went.

"Can I help you, Vince?" Yuffie asked. Vincent walked over and took a set at the foot of the bed. Yuffie could see his skin color matched his capes. Vincent blushing? Something was up.

"Yuffie, you're a young woman now. And as a young woman there are things you will start to become interested in. Like Cloud for example." Vincent said. He was going to beat the shit out of Barret and Red when you were done with this.

"What do you mean?" Yuffie asked. She was clueless to what Vincent was talking about.

"Yuffie, I am here to talk to you about sex." Vincent said.

"What?" Yuffie said.

"You do know what sex is?" Vincent asked.

"I kind of do. All I know is that it involves all my clothes off and I can get pregnant from it." Yuffie said.

"Oh this is going to be a long talk." Vincent said. He leaned over to Yuffie and whispered what the true meaning of the word sex was.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Yuffie screamed. She had never though of it like that.

Meanwhile Barret and Red looked up from their game of Monopoly when they heard the scream. " I think Vincent's doing pretty good. So, how much for Boardwalk?" Red asked.

About two hours later, after much screaming, sock puppets, and the only pride Vincent had left was gone; Yuffie finally understood what sex was.

"Okay, I get it now." Yuffie smiled.

"Great." Vincent said. He ran out of the room and begun to beat the living crap out of Red XIII and Barret.

The doorbell rang. Yuffie walked over to the place where the front door use to be to see Rufus and the Turks standing there.

"May I help you?" Yuffie asked. Shinra had turned into a non-mako organization, so they were on good terms with Cloud and the others.

"Yes, Yuffie, I was wondering it you would like to go on a date?" Rufus said. He smiled and held up a rose to her.

Yuffie went all mushy, a hunk like Rufus showing up with a flower and asking for a date. She must have been dreaming. "Sure, I'll go."

"Come along then." Rufus lead her to the copter and they were off.

In the Rocket town bar. Cid, Cloud, and Tifa were just finishing their drinks.

"You guys are the best friends I have ever had." Cloud said hugging Tifa and Cid.

"He must be drunk off his ass." Cid said.

Fin

Okay, this story might seem pointless, but I am having a great time writing it so it's continuing. Please review.