Love to know what you think!
Perfection
I think we to talk, my love, about some things I've seen
I've noticed things about you that are just a little strange
The other night, I thought I saw you chewing on a spleen
And I've come to the conclusion that you're really quite deranged.
Like the way your teeth are sharp, love, it really can't be right
And your manners are atrocious, not to mention how you slaver
And sometimes when I wake up, I hear howling in the night
I think it's time I told you, love, you're doing me no favours
It's stylish to be manly, but you're taking it too far
The entrails you keep eating are a nauseating sight
And it's hideously awkward how you never take a bath
When you obviously need one - mainly when the moon is bright
My friends were plainly horrified the day you ate their cat
And I have to say that by the way, the hair upon your face
Is just a tad excessive, love, it's long enough to plait
And cars are there for driving, not for grown men to chase.
Please keep your head inside the vehicle while when you're driving round
Throwing out my silver tea set broke my heart and bank
And I really feel it's out of place the way you choose to hound
The postman, and it's rude to bite him on the *censored* - blank
Your monthly need to hunt is a trait I must deplore
And how you bring the carcass back and dress it for a feast...
Why must you have your friends round when they eat food off the floor?
Urinating on the trees, my love, is really for a beast
So I'm sure you see my problem, why I just can't disregard
The sudden fits of madness that have seized you by the throat
Ever since that wolfhound bit you, my life's really been quite hard
And please stop digging up my flowerbeds and chewing on my coat
Your teeth are growing longer, love, or is it just the light?
You appear to be dissolving, and making yourself anew
Don't you snarl at me, you stomach-turning creature of the night
Bare your teeth and it'll be the rolled-up newspaper for you!
~*~
Thanks for reading - I hope you had a laugh.
Perfection
I think we to talk, my love, about some things I've seen
I've noticed things about you that are just a little strange
The other night, I thought I saw you chewing on a spleen
And I've come to the conclusion that you're really quite deranged.
Like the way your teeth are sharp, love, it really can't be right
And your manners are atrocious, not to mention how you slaver
And sometimes when I wake up, I hear howling in the night
I think it's time I told you, love, you're doing me no favours
It's stylish to be manly, but you're taking it too far
The entrails you keep eating are a nauseating sight
And it's hideously awkward how you never take a bath
When you obviously need one - mainly when the moon is bright
My friends were plainly horrified the day you ate their cat
And I have to say that by the way, the hair upon your face
Is just a tad excessive, love, it's long enough to plait
And cars are there for driving, not for grown men to chase.
Please keep your head inside the vehicle while when you're driving round
Throwing out my silver tea set broke my heart and bank
And I really feel it's out of place the way you choose to hound
The postman, and it's rude to bite him on the *censored* - blank
Your monthly need to hunt is a trait I must deplore
And how you bring the carcass back and dress it for a feast...
Why must you have your friends round when they eat food off the floor?
Urinating on the trees, my love, is really for a beast
So I'm sure you see my problem, why I just can't disregard
The sudden fits of madness that have seized you by the throat
Ever since that wolfhound bit you, my life's really been quite hard
And please stop digging up my flowerbeds and chewing on my coat
Your teeth are growing longer, love, or is it just the light?
You appear to be dissolving, and making yourself anew
Don't you snarl at me, you stomach-turning creature of the night
Bare your teeth and it'll be the rolled-up newspaper for you!
~*~
Thanks for reading - I hope you had a laugh.
