Coming Out the Hyacinth Way
By Cyrelia J
The phone rang on one monday morning as Hyacinth Bucket was polishing her Royal Dolton. She nearly dropped one cup in particular with surprise. She breathed in relief setting it back down. Why such fine chine with hand painted periwinkles was very hard to come by! She immediately hurried to the phone picking it up. "The Bouquet residence the lady of the house speaking..." Then she decided to add as an afterthought. "However I must warn you you are currently speaking to the owner of a white slim line telephone and I am not nor have I ever been Chinese..." She stopped hearing the operator speak. "Why of course I'll accept the charges it must be my Sheridan calling from University! He's so thughtful always ringing his mummy whenever he can..." She smiled as the operator connected the call. "Sheridan! How thoughful of you to ring mummy..."
"You need how much dear?" She paused turning as Richard's voice interrupted her from the hallway. "No more money!"
"Oh hush Richard... now Sheridan whatever do you need..."
"Oh I see..."
"What?! I must hae misheard you Sheridan you need how much?"
"Oh... no I hadn't misheard. Sheirdan darling I have never begrudged you anything before but why on *earth do you need so much?"
"I see... married..." She put her hand over the phone calling out, "Oh Richard Sheridan's getting married!" She then continued on the phone. "Now Sheridan... does this girl come from a socially acceptable family?"
"What do you mean it's not a girl who else would you?..."
"You're a what?"
"Dear are you sure that's a respectable endeavor?"
"Oh Your friend Tarquin's one too?"
"He's the one you're marrying?"
"Now Sheridan I will *not* have you being homosexual with someone with a low social standing..." Just then Richard's voice called again. "A WHAT?!"
"A homosexual dear there all around nowadays... now do hush so I can continue speaking to Sheridan."
"Please dear continue that was just your father interrupting."
"Oh Tarquin's related to the Duke! How wonderful! See what you can do when you put your mind to it!"
"And he's the heir since his uncle has no children?" She dabbed at her eyes feeling tears. "Why Sheridan I knew that one member of our family would bring uws respectibilirty. You'd be appalled at what your Aunt Rose..."
"Oh Emmet? Why he's doing just fine."
"Tell him what?"
"Oh I don't see why he'd be diappointed a talented musician shouldn't be wasting his time pitching..."
"Yes yes I'll tell him dear."
"You need the money by when?"
"Of course I'll be there I wouldn't miss my son marrying the Duke's heir for anything."
"Sure I'll bring your father to..."
"And your Aunt Violet you remember she's the one with the Mercedes swimming pool and room for a pony. Perfectly respectable to hobnob with the Duke and his nephew."
"Daisy and Rose?! But dear are you sure they..."
"Yes I know it's your wedding dear I'll let them know."
"It's next week why isn't that a bit soon dear we have to mail invitations..."
"Oh the Revolution starts the week after?"
"Don't worry dear we'll be there."
"Yes I'll send you the money. Only the best for the Duke's heir..."
"I love you too sweetheart." She hung up with a bit of a dreamy smile as Richard walked into the kitchen wild eyed. "Hyacinth i think we need to talk."
"Why what on Earth about Richard?"
"Well it's about Sheridan..."
"Oh Sheridan yes! Did you hear Richard? He's marrying the Duke's nephew! Our son a part of royalty!" She sang a little melody before etting back on the phone. "Who are you calling now?" Hyacinth looked at him as if he'd just asked something incredicubly stupid. "Well of course I hae to call our all family and friends and tell them the news. And that Mrs Barker-Finch." She made a reproving sound dialing. "Bragging the other day about her son and the head of the Morissey law firm... Well we'll just see about that. I always frown upon people who go around braggina bout who they keep company with..." She smiled looking off into the distance. "My son... a Dutchess..."
