Annie Behringer, Home Page, home.html
Lucky Charms!
By Kendra, Digimon Empress and Flair

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Plot ours...characters...Bandai's...The MI Daisuke is a trademark of Kendra, though. *OUCH* *OUCH*

AUTHORS' NOTE: We neither condone nor condemn characters for their orientations. This fic contains yaoi (Kensuke, and eventually Takori)

CONTEST! One more chapter left!

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Chapter Seven - Stop the Madness!

Devon had done it - he had slipped his boss the cereal, and now the evil manager was collapsing against the wall muttering, "Ohhhhhhhhh, Devon, what's in this cereal? I - I feel like my head is swimming. I feel - I feel like I've never really appreciated younever given you respect that you deserve. There was that time, wasn't there, that I hung you out to dry on the wash, and I had no real reason really" Devon nodded greedily. "And then I let you get pecked once by all those fellow business guys, and it was just you, and - and there were like a thousand of them. I shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have done any of those things"

"So what are you going to do about it, boss?" Devon piped.

"I - I don't know," the manager said. "Maybe I should - should"

"Maybe you could give me a raise," Devon suggested. "A month off vacation. You're rich - you could fly me there. An all expense paid trip to - "

"Maybe you could give us those pictures of the two Digimon that you took," Koushiro suggested, emerging from his hiding place.

"Oh yeah - the pictures, yeah, I guess you can have them," the manager murmured, and Koushiro quickly took Ken's wallet and backed away.

The manager's eyes were suspiciously dilated. Okay - this was getting scary.

Jyou waved at Koushiro from behind a packing cart. "Did you get the pictures?" he asked.

"Yeah." Koushiro said, nervously looking at the manager. "And I think we better get out of here, before he"

"Devon," the manager was saying, "come here"

Devon's eyes widened as the manager beckoned at him with a clawed finger. "Uhhhmmmmmm, what exactly is it that you want, boss? You're going to give me a raise, aren'tcha?"

"You shouldn't be so shy, Devon. Have I ever given you a reason to be scared of me?" the manager's tone was getting very soft. "That hat"

"The one that covers half his head?" Jyou whispered.

"That hat makes you look sooooo so sexy," the manager said.

Jyou face vaulted, Koushiro helped him up. "Uhhhh, I see what you mean," he weakly said.

Devon was speechless. The manager was now up and had an arm around him. In his free hand, the manager held a bowl of pineapple jello.

"ACK!" Devon screeched.

"I've always liked you, Devon," the manager said dreamily. "I bet you would taste real sweetI thinkI think I like you so much I could just eat you up. You would go real well with jello, wouldn't you?"

"Ummmmm, no, I wouldn't! Stay back! I taste really bad! Really bad!" Devon squawked, and soon he was flapping up the aisles, his boss in fast pursuit.

~*~
At the mall, however, things were a little more desperate. Hikari Kamiya had dragged Ken into the Banana Republic, which had two floors, by the way, and placed him beside the cash register.

"This is a hold up!" she screeched. "Until I get the clothes I like, until I get the sizes that fit me, I'm not letting him go!"

"KEN-CHAN! NO!!!!" Daisuke cried, as Hikari rolled up Ken's sleeve, revealing the dynamite going up Ken's arms. "Let him go, Hikari, let him go! I promise I'll do anything if you do! Even let you go out on a date with me!"

Another bad move.

"Touch of High Heels!" Hikari shouted, hurling boxes of shoes at Daisuke. And these were expensive shoes, too, and soon Daisuke was dancing about like a madman trying to catch them. He collapsed in a mountain of heels, and Hikari hopped up on a desk, leaving him a long way down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I - I won't do that again. You'll let Ken go, won't you?"

"NOT - UNTIL - MY DEMANDS - ARE - MET!!" Hikari screamed. "GRISLY GLASSES!!"

"Duck!" Taichi gave the alarm, pulling Mimi and Matt out of harm's way as millions of Rayband sunglasses were tossed at them.

"TRUMP JACKET!" A cart with sexy black leather jackets was overturned.

"SOMEBODY TAKE MY SHOPPING LIST!" Hikari demanded.

"What happens if we don't?" Iori wondered.

"BAD THINGS!" Hikari crowed. "Ken-chan here is going to come off badly." She pressed a few buttons. "I've set this bomb"

"BOMB...?" Mimi fainted.

" and it's going to go off if anyone walks on this floor within a fifteen foot radius of the hostage, if nobody fills out my list, or if Daisuke asks me out on a date"

"Ken" Daisuke's voice was breaking.

"It will be okay, Daisuke, it will be okay" Ken whispered, blowing him a kiss.

"Now I advise someone take my shopping list and start tracking these clothes down!" Hikari yelled. "Everyone out! Everyone out! This is an international disaster!"

"I'll take your list, Hikari," Yamato said, and she flung it at him, and then fully activated the bomb. Everyone stampeded out to fulfill Hikari's list off demands, except for Daisuke, who was hidden behind a clothes rack, and Takeru, whom he had yanked into the blue jeans with him.

Slipping into the black jacket Hikari had thrown and putting on the Raybands, Daisuke pointed to the skylight on the second floor just above. All they would need is some heavy-duty rope and did Takeru see where this was going? Takeru nodded, but Daisuke had to be crazy!

This mission was downright impossible.

Daisuke glimpsed a sporting store across the way - perfect! All he needed to do was get some rope, and

But first, he needed theme music! Glancing around, quickly, he noted a stereo conveniently located nearby. A quick dive, a roll, and a hop brought him right in front of it, where he hit the play button. S Club Seven blared out. No, no, no, no, no! He hit the button a few more times, and managed to find something at least suitable.

Pink Panther Techno Dance Remix oh, the hell with it! Ken is in trouble! He cranked the stereo up to full blast and took a dive behind a rack of skimpy tops as Hikari lobbed another platform shoe at him. Creeping across the floor in a fast, low-to-the-ground crab-walk, he made it to the ice-cream vendor and dove behind it.

Ooh, weapons! Daisuke found himself giving a feral smirk; he grabbed several ice cream scoops, tucking them into the loops of his kinky red-leather belt - where he got that it is better not to ask. Next came spoons - lots of spoons! - that he stuck in every available pocket. A spork, dull plastic knives of various neon colors came next, and then one of those McFlurry-like machines that spit out candy into the ice cream. Despite the fact that Daisuke and Ken had verily crashed into the vendor and made out in the ice cream, most of the equipment was still intact. Perfect

"Come out you - COWARD!" Hikari screamed over the blaring Pink Panther music. Daisuke poked his head up over the cart, and then took a flying leap to the side, bouncing from behind shelves. He made a wild dash into the sporting goods store just as Hikari finally flipped and threw a - a flaming mass of rolled-up and oil-soaked Abercrombie and Fitch shirts. How, Daisuke did not know, but he did not particularly care to find out, either.

"Takeru!" he yelled to the blond hiding behind a rack of mini-skirts. "Hit the music! NOW!" Takeru gave him a confused look, but then the light bulb dawned within his blond head and he switched the song on the stereo to

The Mission Impossible Theme!

"Yes, now we have something to work with!" Daisuke exclaimed. He adjusted the Raybands perched in front of his gorgeous brown eyes and stuck a pose.

"Daisuke, HURRY!" Ken yelped, trying to move as far away from the foaming-at-the-mouth Hikari, and not succeeding very well. Daisuke nodded quickly and made a mock-gun with his hands. Sneaking across the hallway, he dodged a few flaming shoes and made it inside the sporting goods store. Within moments he had a heavy-duty rope slung over one arm, and was heading back

when he saw a few very interesting things on the wall.

When Daisuke left the sporting goods store a minute later, it was armed with a kinky-looking whip in one hand and a medieval sword slung in a sheath at his side, along with his various ice-cream weapons utensils.

"To infinity and beyond!" he shouted, grabbing Takeru by the hand, and making a beeline for the door that said THIS WAY TO THE ROOF. Hikari, of course, was in fast pursuit, waving a bottle of Mimi-approved hairspray, and getting ready to turn their hair pink.

"Heaven's Hair Spray!" Hikari screeched, Daisuke cast a quick glance over his shoulder, saw her finger on the button, and picked up his pace.

"Ken, hang on!" he called out, and dove - headfirst into a jeweler's cart. He and Takeru went flying through the beads, the necklaces and the bracelets, and sent chocolate coins wrapped in gold tinfoil in every direction. When Daisuke emerged, a gold watch was hanging from his Raybands. He quickly buckled it on, it would go well with his cool glasses, and shoved Takeru through the door. He closed it -

-just as Hikari threw herself against it, howling with rage.

"The door! The door! Lock the door!" Takeru was urging, and with his sword, Daisuke swung at the glass panel on the wall, which contained an ax only to be used in emergencies. "Noooo - not that!"

"TK, you - meatloaf!"

He hit the fire alarm instead. Blinding white lights began to flicker, smoke to steam from the shattered circuits, and soon the sprinkler system was activated, and a monsoon of water was drizzling down on Takeru and Daisuke.

"Now look what you've done" Takeru groaned, struggling to keep the door shut as Hikari continued to attack it.

"Sorry," Daisuke apologized, and water was dripping down his black jacket, and clinging to the little tears in his T-shirt, where patches of his pink flesh were revealed. "Here" He flung Takeru the ax. "Jam it through the door handle. KENNNNNNNN, I'M COMMMMING!"

He charged off, ignoring Takeru's cries of, "Waiiit, Daisuke, it's not what you think!"

Bum bum bum bum bum, the Mission Impossible music rang.

"I'M COMING, KEN! HANG ON!"

Doo doo doo doo doo

"I'LL RESCUE YOOUUUUUUUUUU!"

Bum bum bum bum bumhe could see the door just ahead of him which would lead to the roof. Almost therealmost there, Ken!

Doo doo doo dooWHOOOOOOOOOOOOA!

Now he knew what Takeru meant - now that he was hanging five stories above Odaiba by his fingers from the edge of a very sheer rooftop.

"I shouldn't have called you meatloaf, Jack" he whispered, as the fire alarm continued to wail. "Oopps, I mean, TK"

"HEEL THROW!"

He didn't know how he pulled it off, but he agilely swung to the side as a window opened and Hikari, her hair teased, frizzy and standing on end, stuck her head out and threw an oversized shoe at him.

"I really shouldn't have"

"TRUMP STRAPS!"

"Forgive me"

He had to swing again as Hikari ripped the T-straps from a heel and flung them at him. Unfortunately, this swing was a little off, and it caused him to hit his head on the Banana Republic sign. For an instant, he could have sworn he saw stars and horseshoes, as well as little Lucky leprechauns running around. Then

"Venom Undies!"

That brought Daisuke back to his senses. No way was he going to have Hikari dump twenty pounds full of women's panties on him.

"Sorry, but I have an emperor in distress I need to save," he said, and taking those ice cream scoopers he found a soft patch in the roof, and used them as picks to hoist himself up.

"Venom Undies!"

He missed that just in timesome fifty or so fire fighters who had arrived on the scene on the grounds didn't, though.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" Hikari shrieked. "I'll get you, my pretty, and I've got your little Ken-chan, too!"

Ken-chanDaisuke bounded up the steep rooftop.

Bum bum bum bum bum

"Takeru, you made it out here!" he exclaimed as a familiar face popped up.

"And avoided the underwear," Takeru sweat dropped. "The policemen, though"

"Didn't?" Daisuke squeaked. He handed Takeru the rope. "We don't have time for thatwe have to save Ken." He peered down through the glass, Ken had his eyes lifted up, and was murmuring a silent prayer. "Are you ready?"

"YeahJyou would say you're crazy, you know" Takeru said, tying one end of the rope around Daisuke's waist, the other to a steel metal post.

Doo doo doo doo doo

"The best of us are crazy when we're in love" Daisuke replied, and he signaled to Takeru and began his descent.

But at the food store

"Ohhhhh, I love you, Devon"

This was not what the little DemiDevo - oops, Devon - had in mind as he was covered with a layer of jello. A vacation to the Bahamas or Hawaii or something like that - that's what he had had in mind, not being served up as an appetizer. He should have known better then to work for this - this - this monster when the Elvis record store owner went broke

You ain't nothin' but a hound dog, hit it, honey

"You're soooo cute!"

just a cryin' all the time

Duh duh duh, doo doo doo

Waithe wasn't having an Elvis flashback. That was - that was Mission Impossible music, and it was coming from the shopping mall. And those were - those were fire trucks and - what was going on?

And in America

"The Odaiba fire department has just been attacked by a wheel barrow full of women's panties," the reporter announced, blushing. "Yagami Hikari has just attacked the Odaiba fire department with a wheel barrow full of panties and"

Wallace leaned forward intently in his chair. "Yes, yes?" he exclaimed. "Who is going to get voted off now?"

"Hmmmmm," the reporter said. "Interestingit seems like - like someone is floating down to the floor of the Banana Republic. But that's"

"Impossible," Wallace said.

Dun dun dun doo doo doo duh duh duh duh duh

"It's not a birdit's not a plane" The helicopter capturing the footage focused on the blonde haired boy tightening the rope, then got a shot through the window.

"That'sDaisuke?"

And in the Digi-World

Gennai shot up. "I had the funniest dream, Quinlongmon," he said.

"Come on over, come on over, baby"

"NO! NO! NO! Not that!" Gennai shouted, and hurried to silence the boom box he had accidentally leaned against.

Quinlongmon raised an eyebrow. "Mr. Gennai, that will be quite enough of that! Her voice is enough to reconfigure the Digi-World! Give me that!!"

"Nooooo!" Gennai cried, shaking his head and clutching his boom box protectively. "Anything but mymy Mimi Tachikawa CDs!"

"Come on over, come on over"

"Blue Lightning!" That effectively shut the monstrous contraption up - Quinlongmon breathed a sigh of relief, Gennai scooped up the pieces of his boom box and his Christina CD in tears. Sniff"We don't have time for this! There's a hostage situation at the mall"

"Oh yeah! Thatwhat happened? There's a Ninth Child, isn't there! This is bad!"

"Don't you remember?" Quinlongmon roared. "Daisuke loves Hikari, mixes up love potion for her, Ken drinks love potion, Ken falls in love with Daisuke, all the other Digi-destined drink the love potion and fall in love with the wrong people, Ken and Daisuke try to correct Daisuke's mistake, terrorize the foodstore, mix up another potion. This other potion is bad, Hikari takes it, goes insane, captures Mimi, takes her to mall and holds it up because they don't have her favorite clothes, there's an evil manager seriously getting on my nerves, and now Mimi's been saved and Ken has been taken hostage. Daisuke's now making a rescue attemptand I need more time to sum up the history of the world! That has to be the shortest and most confusing history lesson ever!"

Daisuke + rescue attemptit was still registering. Daisuke + rescue attempt + ropes + Ken + tall building =

THUNK! Gennai was out again. Complex equations will make you faint all the time.

But at the mall

"Daisuke"

"I'm coming, Ken-chan!" Daisuke whispered, holding out his hand as he hovered just two feet above his beloved. "I'm going to dismantle the bomb!"

"With forks? With ice cream scoopers?" Ken exclaimed.

"Shhhhh, not so loud"

"Hikari's going to hear us over the fire alarm?" Ken asked. "You didn't take to starting fires now, did you, Daisuke?"

"Only the fire I have going for you in my heart," Daisuke said, chopping at the bomb with his attack tools. "Thereit's off!" He tossed the bomb away, and as it soared over the heaps of overturned clothes racks, the indigo haired boy he adored pulled him in, and they shared a kiss, Ken reaching up to Daisuke's face, Daisuke floating like some red-haired angel in a cute beret, Raybands and leather. Tongues entwined about tongues, circling around mouths, and Ken's face was scarlet as his hands gently caressed Daisuke's face, licking off little droplets of water and some leftover chocolate sauce.

"Raybands look good on you"

"Ohhhh, thank you, Ken" Daisuke said, as Ken's tongue danced across the bridge of his nose. "I"

"Heel Throw!"

"WH-WHOOOOOOOOOA!" Daisuke shouted.

"Daisuke!" Takeru cried, as the rope holding Daisuke in the air was cut, and Daisuke fell, landing in a heap on top of Ken. Not that that was a bad thing

"Hikari, don't!"

The other Digi-destined had returned to the Banana Republic and were now trying to distract Hikari somehow. It was partially working - they had most of her shopping demands, but a twelve-sleeved purple lion-feather sweater wasn't going to be easy to find and she was adamant!

"You may think you have won, but you haven't!" she cackled. "There's a second bombon his other wrist!"

"OH NO!"

But Daisuke was prepared for anything.

Stalking right up to where Hikari could see him plainly, he put his hands on his hips and glared at her.

"Let him go!" he yelled.

"Why?" Hikari replied, evilly. "You seem to care about him a lot, don't you?"

That was it!

"No, what are you talking about?" he lied. "You're holding him hostage because you think I love him? Well you're wrong!" From the widening of her only slightly sane eyes, that was exactly what she thought. So Daisuke darted over, pulled Takeru out, whom had come downstairs, whipped the hat off his head, and leaned the blond-haired boy back in a dramatic, overblown, passionate, romantic kiss like the ones in cheesy movies. Entirely fake, utterly blown out of proportion, but very convincing!

Takeru's eyes widened in shock, but he was clever enough not to cry out. Ken couldn't have looked any more stunned and horrified than if you had hit him on the back of the head with a board. Hikari was enraged, and cut Ken loose immediately, dismantling the bomb and tossing the indigo-haired boy to the floor. Even Iori was shocked, and - strange to see - almost dismayed.

Daisuke let Takeru go abruptly and he stumbled back.

"Sorry about that, Takeru, it had to be done!" Daisuke said, blushing slightly, then turned towards Hikari. "You're going to pay, woman!" he yelled, then screamed a banshee-like war cry and, with his whip in one hand and an ice-cream scoop in the other, dove towards the counter.

The other Digi-destined, meanwhile, were trying to fill Hikari's shopping list when suddenly the unexpected happened.

*Snap!*

*Crackle!*

*Pop!*

They all looked up, shocked. Three little elf-dudes were right in front of them, seemingly floating in mid-air. "You are the ones that disrupted the balance of the Cereal World!" the one that looked like a girl shrilled in an annoyingly high voice. "You will pay!"

*Snap!*

*Crackle!*

*Pop!*

They were gone again, but there was a distant rumbling the Digi-destined all turned to look at each other with horrified eyes. A scream from Hikari and an equal one from Daisuke told them that those two weren't going to be of any help.

Surprisingly, Iori took charge.

"Miyako! Koushiro!" he exclaimed. "Come with me! Quick!" he grabbed both of them by the hands and ran for the escalator

Just as the wall caved in and four seemingly-Digimon appeared. They were huge, but the remaining Digidestined turned to face them without fear. Suddenly Jyou's jaw dropped.

"Are they what I think they are?" he squeaked.

"I think so!" Sora breathed.

Standing in front of them, gargantuan and glowing a faint green were four giant cereal mascots; Tony the Tiger, the Honey Nut Bee, Captain Crunch, and Toucan Sam wait, make that Tony the Tigermon, the Honey Nut Beemon, Captain Crunchmon, and Toucan Sammon. Floating in front of them were the unmistakable forms of those Rice Crispies imps.

And none of them looked very happy.

"This is not going to be fun" Taichi whispered.

Meanwhile, Iori, Miyako and Koushiro were in Le Chateau, ransacking the store for pleather outfits for which Iori had some mysterious plan

Meanwhile, Daisuke and Hikari were having a huge catfight amidst the clothing racks of Banana Republic. Hikari was fueled by her insanity, but Daisuke had weapons, was wearing leather and a pink-feathered beret, and was fighting to protect his love.

Speaking of his love, Ken was having a fight of his own with Takeru?

"Daisuke is mine, wench!" Ken yelled, tackling Takeru to the ground. The poor violet-eyed boy was more than a little unstable after a sugar-high and the fact that an insane red-eyed, brown-haired girl wearing pink spandex had just held him hostage under bomb threat. Takeru, too, was a little off-balance over the fact that he was in a clothing store full of lunatics, the fact that his best friend had gone insane, and the fact that a guy had just kissed him. Not that he had a problem with it, but it was Ken's guy.

"PREPARE TO DIE!"

"GAAAAAAAAAH!" Takeru screeched, as he crashed into a wrack of jeans. Ken Ichijouji followed him, and emerged

wearing the clothes of the Digimon Emperor and brandishing aa whip?

* *
"Ken-chan! Ken-chan! Ken-chan! Ken-chan!" Wallace beat the table as Takeru and the Emperor squared off.

**
"MINE!" Ken growled, and his whip shot out, wrapped around Daisuke's arms, and he reeled Daisuke in. "You take some time out, I'll handle this." A quick kiss on the cheek.

"Ummmm, Ken, what about the four crazed Cereal Killers behind us?" Daisuke wondered. "Shouldn't we do something about them?"

"Oh yeah, good thought"

"Great! Let's stop them..."

"But only after I settle this with Takeru!"

Then all was chaos.

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Enter the Dark Cereal Masters...what happens now? One more chapter! Wait to find out!